Vendetta 12
L was startled awake by the sound of knocking on the bedroom door. "Light? Ryuzaki? Are you awake?" Aki's voice came through the door. L groaned and sat up, his body aching all over as if he'd been beaten. He looked over at Light who hadn't moved and gently ran his fingers thru his hair before slowly sliding out of bed and going to the door.
"Aki…why are you up so early?" He asked with a yawn.
"I want to be ready when my dad comes to get me," he said excitedly, "Do you know what time?" L sighed and shook his head.
"No, I don't have any idea, or even if it will definitely be today," he said and then sighed again when he saw the little boy's face fall. "But until we know for sure, why don't you come in and stay with us; and maybe go back to sleep until it's time for breakfast?"
"Can I?" Aki asked instantly brightening as L opened the door wider so he could get in.
"Yes, but you have to be quiet, Light is still sleeping and needs his rest." L cautioned as he walked with him to the bed.
"Okay," Aki whispered and climbed into the bed next to Light. L moved the blankets so he could get in and then covered him back up. He got in on Light's other side, pulling the blankets back up to his neck, and leaning against Light. "Now got to sleep," he whispered to Aki, who giggled slightly when Light made a noise in his sleep.
"Okay," he whispered back and closed his eyes.
L was up early, showered and dressed while Light and Aki continued to sleep. He walked over to the bed and gently ran his fingers through Light's hair, softly kissing his cheek before going out of the room. He was not surprised to find Watari already in the security room having his morning tea.
"I knew you'd be up early, there's coffee on your desk and pastries," he said with a smile. "Did you sleep well after everything?" L nodded as he went for his coffee.
While I'm glad everything worked out, I can't shake the knowledge of how close I came to losing Light," he said. "I hope I never have to have that fear again."
"Well, now that the notebook is completely destroyed, you shouldn't have to worry about that kind of thing ever again." Watari said and L nodded.
"Now the hard part of explaining it all to Light. At this point he's completely devoid of any memories of being Kira, and the guilt he has been trying to deal with these past years. I wish there were someway to not put him through that again.
"Unfortunately, L, there is no other way. You've kept enough from him these past ten years and it almost destroyed you both; no more hiding anything no matter how heartfelt your reasons." L nodded his agreement.
"I agree. As difficult as this will be, Light deserves nothing less than the truth from me from now on. I just hope he can forgive me and understand."
"I'm sure he will once he's had time to process all of the information. I have the Kira file ready and yesterday's security footage which shows his altered personality up to and including the shooting. That should cement everything for him and make him understand why it happened."
L nodded and sipped more coffee. "We'll need to contact the detectives and deal with Fujimoto," he said with distaste. "If it weren't for the boy's feelings…"
"I understand, but he is the boy's father and he appears to be aware what he's done was heinous, even if he thought it was the right thing to do at the time. He's already lost so much, L." Watari reminded him.
"And whose fault is that?" L snapped. "His own greed started this entire situation; I have no sympathy. He is the sole reason for his wife's death, and that happened in front of Aki's eyes," L stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "Aki should be taken from him, at least from his care. Allow him visitation rights but not his full care, and that is what I'm going to be working on." Watari raised an eyebrow.
"You think that's wise?" he asked.
"I'm making sure Aki can still spend time with his father whenever he wishes, but I believe his life will be in constant danger if I let him simply leave with him and go off as if everything's fine." L explained. "Regardless of how many of the criminals we find, he still owes that gang money, and it's quite possible there will still be a faction looking for him, if only to hold him as an example. My mind is made up, and I shall begin the process after speaking with him."
"L…perhaps there's another way…perhaps we could relocate them, change their names so that if there were any element still looking for him, he's be out of harm's way. L, please think of the boy." Watari implored him.
"I am thinking of the boy, otherwise I'd have that man sent to prison for the rest of his life," L answered, just as Watari's computer beeped.
"This is Watari," he answered.
"Watari, this is Matsuda, Mr. Fujimoto wants to know when he can speak to his son."
"This is L. The boy isn't awake yet; as soon as he is and has been fed, he may speak to him. I will make certain to contact you when he's here and ready. He is…most anxious to speak to his father as well."
"Alright, L," Matsuda said, "I'll let him know. L…just so you know…he really wants his son back, he really cares."
"Masuda, you have been known to allow yourself to be clouded by emotion before. What he wants and/or feels is irrelevant; all I am concerned about is the well being of the boy." He then cut the conversation, pulling his feet up into the chair as his hands rested on his knees.
"I believe you need to let this situation rest for a bit," Watari said quietly, "I think you need to put your mind to the personal problem at hand; namely Light." L sighed deeply and nodded.
"Of course, you're right. Would you please make sure Aki gets breakfast while I get everything together to talk to Light?" he asked.
"Yes, I'd be glad to," he got up and touched L's shoulder. "I'm assuming it's going to be difficult at first, but it will be better when all of this is finally out and over; I'm sure of it. Just be prepared for it to take a while for Light to deal with knowing the truth." L nodded again, picked up his laptop, and headed back upstairs with Watari. "I'm sure Aki's awake by now and talking Light's ear off."
Just as he suspected, Aki was awake and talking with Light happily. He looked up when L walked in and jumped off of the bed, running to him.
"Hey, Ryuzaki! Have you talked to my dad yet?" he asked staring up at him.
"I have not, but you will be able to after you've cleaned up and had breakfast. How's that sound?" L told him.
"And then will he come and get me?" Aki asked in excitement.
"Perhaps, we'll see. In the meantime, go with Watari and get ready so you can talk to him," L answered with a small smile. Aki nodded and then ran back over to Light.
"I'm going to talk to my dad," he said excitedly then hugged Light's neck. "See you later!' he added before running to Watari who quickly walked out with him.
"He's really excited to see that…animal," Light said as L walked over to him and sat next to him on the bed.
"I know, but he's his father, the only family he has left, so I guess I can understand that. The question is what exactly to do after he talks to him." Light sighed and looked away.
"I know what I'd like, but that's not the best thing for Aki right now, I guess," he said and then turned back to L. "Are you ready to explain to me what the hell is going on?"
L sighed and nodded. "I am; but…would you like coffee or breakfast before…"
"All I want is to know why the fuck Watari shot me and why you were acting the way you were last night, and I want to know now!" Light demanded, obviously out of patience with him.
"Alright, you deserve nothing less. But the first thing you have to understand is everything I've done, everything I'm about to tell you…I did what I thought was right because I love you," he ran a hand through his hair. "A lot of what I'm going to say is going to be difficult for you, and I will answer any questions you have. I have proof of everything I am about to tell you, including the surveillance video from yesterday when you were hurt and why. We will start with that, so it will be easier for you to understand." He opened his laptop and buzzed Watari. "I'm ready for the surveillance footage; please start with the first incident."
"First incident? What the hell are you talking about?" Light asked, "I don't remember any kind of incident yesterday!"
"No, you're not going to remember that, but you will see it," L said softly, reaching for his hand for support. The video started, Light watching himself in the main room, then suddenly hearing himself, taunting L for watching him. Light stared and listened in disbelief. "I don't know how you're doing that L, but that's not me, I don't remember saying anything like that yesterday. It barely sounds like me! The last thing I remember is talking to Matsuda and being angry about Aki's father."
"I understand, but that is most definitely you…well, not exactly. It's your body, and a part of you that no longer exists after last night," L said softly. "But I needed you to see how different you were, that you were not yourself." It pained him to see the confusion on Light's face when he turned to him.
"L…I don't understand, I'd never talk to you like that," he said. L gently ran a hand thru Light's hair.
"No, you wouldn't normally," when the short video ended, he took a deep breath. "Here is where your accident occurred, I warn you that it won't be easy for you to watch." Light stared at him in confusion then looked back at the screen.
Light watched in growing horror as he watched himself argue with L about the notebook, about him being Kira and about how L kept his memories from fading. He shook his head in disbelief as he watched himself grab L's shirt, threaten to hit him…and then the sound of the shot and him crumbling to the ground.
"Turn it off," he said in barely a whisper, "Please, turn it off." L closed the laptop, hating himself for having to do this to Light. He watched Light's face as he put everything together in his mind, his heart breaking when he saw tears running down his face.
"I was the first Kira all those years ago," he said softly, "You were right all along." He stated.
"Yes, I'm sorry, but you were," L told him, "But when I fell in love with you, I realized I couldn't turn you in to be executed. After finding Higuchi and the notebook I just let everyone think he had done all the murders from the beginning, it wasn't going to change his sentence one way or another, and it would free you."
"And you made sure I remembered everything by making me touch the notebook at least once a month, making me remember all the horrible things I'd done, without my knowledge or permission."
"You heard why I did it, I was afraid that if you gave up your memories, you'd forget us as well, what we have built over the past ten years, I couldn't risk it. You had learned how to suppress that part of you, until this situation arose. Light, I'm sorry if I made the wrong decision, but I made it because I love you."
"Then why don't I remember any of it, including this…" he asked gesturing at the laptop.
"Because there is a deal between a Shinigami and the human he gives the notebook to, that he will be the one to kill that human if he doesn't give up his memories of it. I bargained with it and promised to destroy the notebook if he just left you alone. Instead of destroying it I hid it and you never used it again so it couldn't sense it. When you became Kira again I realized I had to do something so I retrieved it from its hiding place, hoping that if I made you give up your memories you might not forget about us; but he returned and tried to make good on the bargain last night. He began writing your name in his notebook and I had Watari destroy yours before he could. When that happened, he had no reason to kill you, and you lost all your Kira related memories. But you didn't lose the memories of us."
"That's why you were acting so strange last night, asking me how I felt about you," Light said. "It all makes sense now." He continued to stare ahead as he spoke, as if still watching the video.
"I know this is so much to try to deal with at once, and I'm so sorry that it has to be this way. Light…please…try to understand…I love you."
"I think I need to be alone for a while," Light said quietly without looking at him.
"I understand," L said standing up. "I'm sure this is going to take you some time to deal with. Just…just don't shut me out." When Light didn't answer right away, he sighed deeply, fighting back his own tears.
"I'll have Watari bring you breakfast, and you probably need to have your bandage changed as well," he walked to the door of the bedroom before stopping.
"Everything I did…I did because I love you, I love what we have, please remember that," he begged.
"I know," Light said still not looking at him.
L turned and left the room, moving quickly thru the hall and down to the main room. He sat down at the desk, crossing his arms in front of him on the desk and burying his face on them. "I'm so sorry, Light." He whispered as he cried softly.