Chapter Two
Harry started to notice that Hermione stayed out late on Tuesdays and Thursdays. At first, he thought it was work, but it had been happening regularly on Tuesdays and Thursday. The other days, she would return home at around the same time. He found it rather odd, so a couple of weeks after the lecture, it was around the beginning of November, he decided to ask her about it. She had come home particularly late this time. "So, Hermione, where have you been going?" he asked as she walked in the door.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about."
"Please, I know you better than that," Harry told her. "You've been going somewhere, and it's only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm smarter than that. Are you seeing someone? That would be okay, you know, and I won't tell Ron if you're not ready for him to know yet."
Hermione sighed. "No, I'm not seeing anyone," she said, sitting next to him on the couch. "Look, this may sound… silly, but… I've been going to a Post-War Support Group."
"A what?"
"A support group, Harry," Hermione said, in her tone that said that she thought he should have understood. "For people needing to talk about the war, about moving on or about how they're not moving on, or what have you. It's all anonymous, of course, you're not supposed to talk about what everyone else says or who they are or anything."
"That doesn't sound silly at all," Harry said, quite seriously. "If anyone understands that, it would be me."
Hermione nodded. "I know. It's just…" Harry let her sit there for a bit, and she eventually continued. "I realized some things since Ron and I broke up." She started fidgeting with her hands. "I think… I may have been using the two of you, and my relationship with him especially, to deal with everything. I didn't want to say anything, because…. you've been going through enough as it is, and -"
"Listen, Hermione," Harry said, putting an arm around her shoulder, and bringing her closer to him. "If you want to talk, at any time, I'll listen. It's like I said, if anyone understands struggling with these things, it's me. If you don't want to talk, well, you know me, I don't want to talk either."
Hermione leaned into him, but he could see a smile touching her lips. "I know. I just thought things would be so much simpler when He was gone."
Harry nodded. "You and me both."
Hermione looked up at him. "You know, you and I would probably be pretty well matched if I had the right parts and you weren't a brother to me."
Harry couldn't help it, but he laughed. "Yeah, but what can you do about that now." Hermione started giggling for no apparent reason after that but then moved on to dinner. During dinner, Harry asked another question that had been plaguing him. "So, why were you later today than usual?"
"Hmm? Oh, I was having a drink with someone from the group," Hermione said.
"Oh? Anyone interesting?"
"Actually, yes," Hermione said, "but you didn't hear it from me. It was Draco, Draco Malfoy."
Harry nearly spit out his drink at that remark. "Wait, you were having a drink with Draco Malfoy? Is this the same Malfoy we went to school with?"
"No, it isn't," Hermione said, quite frankly. "I can't talk about it, but he's changed. He seems to really regret a lot of things, you know? We started talking after the group sessions about a week ago or so, and tonight, we went for a friendly drink. He's still a pompous, arrogant little shit, but he's not as bad as used to be. And considering you and Snape, if anyone would understand it would be you ."
Harry froze. He wondered how much Hermione guessed about his feelings for Severus. He hadn't talked about it, and he wasn't ready to, but he had been rather upset when he came from having the door shut in his face. He knew it must have come out hypocritical. "Yeah, you're right, sorry," he told her. "If Severus and I can almost get past all that, then you and Draco can have a drink between friends."
Hermione nodded. "Thank you, and yes, I can." They watched some television for a bit before they both decided to go to bed.
~*o*x*o*x*o*x*o*x~
After Hermione had told him that she was actually getting along with Draco, it made Harry think about Severus. Everything seemed to. He knew he had feelings for the old bastard, but he wasn't sure what else to do about it. So, he went to his place again about a week after the conversation with Hermione. At least this time, Severus answered the door. "Look, Severus, I-"
"Potter, I thought I made my feelings quite clear," Severus said, the familiar sneer in place on his lips. "I shut the door in your face and told you to go away, and then refused to answer the last time you came here. I do not want you around anymore. There is no reason for us to see each anymore. Surely even someone with your thick skull can realize that."
Hurt washed through Harry at his words. That hurt quickly turned to anger, though. "Lie to yourself all you want, but I'm not stupid," Harry said, as he clenched his fists. "I know you weren't just looking at me because I was in your lab. I know there was more to it, and I'm not letting this go!" That was when Severus shut the door in his face. Harry kicked it but left. He knew he wouldn't open it up again, and he wasn't about to make a scene in the middle of Diagon Alley.
That was a tempting idea, though, because Severus was sure to let him in to avoid it ending up in the papers. But, the problem was that it would probably end up in the papers anyway, which he wasn't so fond of.
Harry wasn't going to give up, though. He couldn't.
~*o*x*o*x*o*x*o*x~
The only drawback with his continued issues with Severus was that the longer it went on, the more frustrated it made him. He could whine and cry about life not being fair, but that wasn't news to him. His life had never been fair, and he hadn't expected it to start now. He just wished that Severus would stop being so stubborn about all of this. He obviously felt the same way. He knew it wasn't that simple, but for once, it should be. It wasn't like Harry didn't know Severus well enough to know what he was potentially getting into. He wasn't stupid, contrary to what the potions master might think.
After he had come back from getting the door shut in his face again, Harry was left in a sour mood. With no way to relieve his frustration, he was left with working out. He couldn't do that all the time, though. There was such a thing as overdoing it. He would read some, too, but that didn't help. He just wanted Severus to come to his senses, but that wasn't going to happen. So, he went to the gym as often as his body could handle without hurting himself.
"You know, Harry," Hermione told him one day, "you should be careful about how often you go to the gym. You don't want to hurt yourself."
"Don't you think I know that?" Harry snapped at her. Honestly, while it was nice having her around, it was very annoying sometimes, too. She was honestly trying not to be a nag, but of course, every time something seemed to be wrong with him, she couldn't leave well enough alone. He knew that part of his anger with her was due to his frustration with Severus, but he couldn't do anything about that now, could he? "I don't need you nagging me. I am a full grown man, and you are my friend and roommate only, and you are living in my apartment."
Hermione, of course, got very upset with him over that, which made Harry feel guilty. "Just because you're frustrated and upset, don't take out your frustrations on me, please," Hermione said firmly. "I am only trying to look after you, as any friend would." She huffed away after that and went into her room.
Harry felt guilty but was a bit too prideful to admit that he shouldn't have snapped at her. Besides, she would know that.
~*o*x*o*x*o*x*o*x~
About two weeks after that, Harry was hanging out with Ron. They hadn't seen that much of each other lately. Granted, Harry didn't see much of anyone anymore, but even less of Ron since he and Hermione had broken up. They just hung out, ate and played chess, but he knew that Ron could see that he was distracted.
"What's wrong, mate?" Ron asked.
"Nothing."
"That's what you always say," said Ron with a smirk.
"Maybe because if I wanted to talk about it, I would," Harry said, with a cutting edge to his voice.
"Okay, no problem," Ron said. "Just wondering."
Harry, already feeling guilty about snapping at Hermione, just groaned. "Sorry, it's just… I've been on edge a lot since the contract with Severus ended, and it's just…"
"Wait, Severus ?" Ron asked. The look on his face would have been funny if Harry hadn't been so frustrated. "Since when did you refer to him by his first name?"
Harry froze for a moment. When had he started doing that? Sure, he had called Severus by his first name, but he had never thought of him that way. When had that changed? "I don't know," Harry said, hoping that Ron would let this go. "I started calling him by his first name during the contract because it seemed dumb that we were still on last-name basis with everything that happened."
Ron did not seem completely convinced. "That makes sense, I guess," the redhead said. "It still seems odd to hear you call him that."
"Why?" Harry snapped again, his temper rising quickly. "Because he was our teacher? That was years ago. Get over it. Because he's a sarcastic git? Yeah, so what. No one's perfect."
Ron blinked at him. "You're defending him now?"
"So what?" Harry turned to him, his eyes blazing.
Ron put his hands up in defeat. "Okay, mate, whatever you say," he said. "Calm down."
Harry knew that he shouldn't have snapped at Ron, but he was tired of everyone telling him how to feel, to calm down, as if he shouldn't be angry and frustrated. Yeah, he shouldn't be taking out his anger on his friends. But Hermione had been nagging him, and Ron was being a short-sighted git. Perhaps hanging out with Ron wasn't a good idea, but he couldn't isolate himself either.
He wasn't sure which annoyed him more right now.
Hermione told him later as they were heading off to bed that he couldn't kill himself over everything or take his anger out on everyone because of what was going on. What else was he supposed to do, though? He could drink away his thoughts, but that was likely to cause him more problems that it helped, and any other stress relief wasn't an option. It didn't make things easy for him.
~*o*x*o*x*o*x*o*x~
Severus knew that he had done the only thing that made sense. He needed Harry out of his life. He was a distraction, and the potions master didn't need that. Besides, Harry may have had some twisted sense that there was something more between them. There may have been some… slight attraction, but that was not enough. Keeping the young man around any longer would have been foolish for many reasons, and Severus Snape was not a fool by any means.
Lucius had come over the day of the final contract date with Harry. He had, of course, asked about the Golden Boy. Severus wasn't sure why the blond had such a fascination with it all. Fine. He was attracted to him. That didn't mean that he was going to keep that foolish young man around. He wasn't a fool.
"The contract ended today," Severus had told him. "I gave him his final dose of the potion, as agreed, and told him to have a nice life."
Lucius had stared at him for a second. "You did what?"
"What did you expect me to do?" Severus had asked him. "We have no reason to talk or be in each other's lives anymore."
"Except for the fact that you're attracted to him," Lucius had said with a smirk.
Severus had just glared at him. "I have no reason to want him in my life anymore. We are both better off this way."
Lucius had waited until he left to say one more thing on the matter, always needing to have the last word. "Severus, you are typically an intelligent man, but on this, you are a daft idiot." He had then flipped his hair over his shoulder before he left, not allowing Severus to get a single word in.
Lucius hadn't mentioned the matter since, and neither for that matter had Severus. He had spoken the truth - things were better this way. Besides, even if he and Harry were both interested in… continuing to see each other… it would only end in disaster. It was better to avoid the situation entirely. He saw no reason to do something so idiotic as to keep Harry around.
Severus continued about his life. He continued making potions, which was his life. Of course, his staff seemed to be getting more incompetent than usual. They were lucky none of them had gotten fired. He saw Lucius for their weekly chess meetings and was dragged over to Malfoy Manor for dinner. Of course, Harry was a persistent bastard. He tried coming over a few times. The first time, Severus didn't even dignify his knocks with a response. The second time, he opened up the door, but only to tell him the truth - that he didn't want him around. Harry had actually looked hurt and tried to make his case again, but Severus had once again shut the door in his face.
The third time was a couple of weeks after that, and Severus had simply walked to the door and told him to go away. After all, he didn't like being harassed. Next time, he would hex him if that's what it took. Harry was obviously so dim-witted that he couldn't understand the meaning of the words "Go away." He would figure it out one day.
Things were better this way. This was the way it needed to be.
~*o*x*o*x*o*x*o*x~
It was the second week in December, and Harry had waited anxiously for ten weeks. Finally, it was here - his results of his Healer's Entrance Exam. The owl had pecked on the window that morning. Hermione had already left for work, so he was alone in the apartment. He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest, and his palms were getting sweaty, too.
Harry let the owl in, and he stuck out his leg. Carefully, he reached out and grabbed the letter, untying it. It was from St. Mungo's, as he had expected. There was always a chance that it wasn't, but the results had been due for a couple of days now. He tore open the envelope.
Dear Mr. Potter,
Thank you for sitting the Healer's Entrance Exam. We have enclosed your results for you to look over. We are pleased to inform you that you have passed. Please see the enclosed results for notes and your overall average scores.
You are due for your first day of work a week from today on Monday, December 10th. You are to report to Healer Brown on the fourth floor, the Spell Damage floor. Please report at eight o'clock in the morning, sharp. You will have more details explained to you at that time.
Once again, thank you and congratulations.
Sincerely,
Jonas Rutherford
Head of Training
St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries
A bright smile crossed Harry's face. He had passed! He quickly grabbed the second page, which was his results page.
Written Portion Score: 84%
Practical Portion Score: 88%
Average Score: 86%
Verdict: Passed
There were notes of mistakes he had made in his written portion, as well as in the practical portion. All in all, Harry was very pleased. He had passed! That was the important thing. He was starting work next week! He finally felt like he had some purpose in life and wasn't just some mindless drifter. Sure, it was going to take a couple of years, but he was going to be a Healer!
Harry knew that things weren't going to be easy. They would need to question him about his addiction; he knew that. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't addicted anymore, though, so he had nothing to fear. He was also a very determined person. He would be fine. It would take time, but now at least he had some direction in life. That might make things easier for him; he wasn't sure.
Harry set the results down on the table. I want to see Severus, he thought to himself. He felt that he needed to tell him that he had passed, that all the work he had done in his lab hadn't been for naught. He wanted to tell him. So, Harry left his apartment, and walked down to the alley, finding himself shortly in Diagon Alley.
Harry was making his way to Severus's shop when someone stopped in front of him. "Excuse me," he said, making his way to go around him without seeing who it was. He just wanted to get to Severus's. The figure stepped back slightly and then drew his wand.
Harry froze. He felt his whole body tense, and his senses heightened. Time seemed to slow a little bit as he stepped back and looked at the figure pointing his wand from a shaky, unsteady hand. "Dennis?"
It was Dennis Creevey, but he didn't look like the Dennis Creevey he'd known in school. He still had the same mousy brown hair, but his brown eyes were no longer kind. They were wide and bloodshot. He was three years younger than Harry, but he looked older somehow, though Harry couldn't place why.
"You!" Dennis cried.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked. People were starting to take notice and were milling around, whispering and talking about what was going on. Who was this kid pointing a wand at Harry Potter? Harry also remembered that Dennis should still be a student at Hogwarts if his memory served. Come to think of it, though, he hadn't remembered seeing him among the students when he did his lecture. Why was that? Didn't he have one year left or was Harry doing his math wrong? That was entirely possible.
"Everything!" Dennis yelled. "And it's all your fault!" Tears were streaming down his face now.
Harry put one of his hands up, in what he hoped was a peaceful and comforting gesture. "Whatever it is, we can talk about it. Just lower your wand."
Harry knew he had good reflexes, faster than Dennis. He slowly reached for his wand, and that's when things got a bit insane. Dennis started shooting spells from his wand, yelling at him to stop. Harry froze again, lucky that one hadn't hit him. He knew the danger if a spell accidentally hit his chest, but no one else did.
"We can talk, Dennis, just calm down!"
"Calm down! CALM DOWN! You did it; you killed him!" Dennis said, tears no longer flowing. Instead, he looked enraged. "He's dead BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER! HE DIED FIGHTING FOR YOU !"
Harry tried to calm him down, and when that didn't work, he tried to back up a bit, to give Dennis more space. He could Apparate out of here, but he didn't want anyone else injured because he had left. Why was Dennis blaming him for Collin's death?
Dennis's words became more erratic after that, and then he started shooting spells at him again. Harry tried to talk to him, but it was clear that it wasn't working. Dennis just kept going on about Collin's death being on his hands. Harry tried to dodge the spells and managed to grab his wand, but it was hard to get a spell in when Dennis was being so erratic. He was just moving around, and shooting spells wildly as if he was some crazed lunatic.
Harry lifted his wand to stun him, and then all of a sudden, an intense pain shot through him, one that he had only felt once before. He looked up and saw that Dennis wand had been pointed straight at Harry's chest. The spell was harmless, whatever it was, or he would have felt another effect of the spell. That is unless the intense pain he was feeling was blocking anything else. Harry reached up a hand and gripped his chest. It felt like a heart attack. He knew his heart was going to speed up so much that it would start to slow and then stop completely. That was the price he had to pay for being hit with the dark spell in the Weasley's shed. It was why he had quit the Auror Department. The air was being taken from his lungs, too. He couldn't breath; he couldn't think; all he could feel was pain.
Harry tried to ask for help, tell someone to get Ron or Hermione. No words would come, though. The last thing he felt was the pain in his heart and lungs as he felt himself swaying. The last thing he saw was the sky before darkness overtook him.
