A/N: Yet another chapter that turned out way bigger than I expected! This is the last Saki chapter for this story. Next one is Kotaro again ;) Thanks for being so patient with my uploads! I'm slow but I haven't forgotten my stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own Zombieland Saga or any of its characters.

LAST TIME: Saki and Kotaro crashed the bike and lost the tree, and now they're tree-less! Can they find another in time for xmas?

Chapter 5: Nikaido Saki (Part 2)

It was a long walk back to Karatsu. When you're on a bike, places don't seem so far away. They seem even less far away when you ignore the slow-ass speed limits they tell you to stick to. On foot, we might as well have been travelling to the Moon and back. We walked alongside the highway, because neither of us knew where we were going and the likelihood of there being an easy pedestrian route from one end of Saga prefecture to the other was close to zero. Every step I took I discovered new and exciting lumps and bumps in the terrain, hidden by the snow, to lose my balance on. I wasn't the only one; Shades looked like he'd drunk a whole sake bar dry with how unsteady he was walking. All in all, it took us over two hours to reach the Karatsu city limits. It felt like two years.

As if to greet us, the blizzard, which had quietened down a bit during our hike, started pouring sheets of snow down from the sky. I took the lead. Although I could barely see my own hands in front of my face, I knew where we were now. I knew where we had to go to finally get a tree. Shades, however...

"Saki, where are we going?"

"Seven Eleven."

"...I don't understand."

"You know how they have those little Christmas trees up in the storefront?"

"They do?"

"Well they did."

And I sure hoped they still did cos outside of that I didn't have a fucking clue where to find a Christmas tree at asshole-o-clock in the morning. The windows of every building were dark, and now we were off the highway, there wasn't a single car on the road, either.

So we trudged our way down the street, our shoes wet and frosty from all the sleet and snow, slowly but surely heading towards the Seven Eleven. The one I was thinking of stood across the river from Karatsu Castle, nestled among a few other small businesses. I used to visit it sometimes back in the day. Me and the manager were good buddies, sort of. I punched one of his teeth out in middle school. He was several years my senior and I didn't appreciate him hitting on me, so I let him know in the only language idiots seem to understand. You think that'd scare a guy off, but he kept trying, and I kept telling him to fuck off. Then rumours started spreading that he was gay. He was single right up till I died, I think. Well, 'single', if you get what I mean. Unmarried. I bet his parents gave him so much shit for it. I have no regrets about abandoning mine. Really they made the choice for me. It's us or the bike, they said. It wasn't an easy decision but it was an obvious one. My team are the only family I need. Back then it was Dorami, now it's Franchouchou. No regrets.

After crossing over a bridge and passing by not one but two yakitori restaurants (nothing beats Drive-in Tori, I don't care how tasty they smell), we finally arrived at the Seven Eleven.

"Right Shades," I said, "let me do the talking."

He was so covered in snow he looked like an ice sculpture. For a moment I wondered if I looked just as ridiculous, but then I thought 'fuck it', and walked inside.

I didn't recognise woman at the register. I mean, that shouldn't have come as a surprise. I didn't recognise the guy stacking the shelves either, but as I looked around the store, sure enough, there was the tree. It was about as tall as I was, with golden baubles and a single coil of red tinsel wrapped around it. I tapped Shades on the arm,

"Whaddya think? This'll do, right?"

He held his frosty chin, "Hmm. Yes, yes this isn't bad. A nice tree."

"Right?"

The guy stacking shelves gave me a funny look as he walked past us. I held back the urge to glare at him.

"I have ten thousand yen in my wallet," Kotaro said, "I think I can get it for less than that."

"Leave it to me, Shades. I can get us this tree for nothing."

He smirked at me, "Really? Well I think I can get them to pay us to take this tree away."

Now he was talking my language, "Is that a challenge?"

He adjusted his glasses and turned to the cashier. I considered charging ahead of him, but then I thought hell, why not let the loverboy go first. There was no way he was beating me.

"Excuse me, young lady," he began, in his best seductive voice, "I need a little something to help me celebrate this Christmas..."

As he stared into her eyes, I could tell she wasn't buying it. That's when I noticed the streak of bright red dye in her otherwise totally black hair, and the tattoo on her neck, peeping out from under her uniform. It made me wonder...

He placed a finger under her chin, "You wouldn't consider letting me have that Christmas tree, would you?"

She flicked his finger away, "I'm sorry sir, but that tree isn't for sale."

I could feel the frown in his shoulders as he slumped onto the counter, "Not even for ten thousand yen?"

"I can't sell it, it's the manager's... it's-"

I shoved Shades out of the way, leaned one arm on the counter and shot the cashier my sexiest smile.

"Ignore that idiot, he doesn't know a good thing when he sees it."

"Excuse me?"

"For example, your hair. The red really suits you."

She blushed, "Ah, uh, thank you."

"Red's my second favourite colour after pink. I know, I don't look like a pink kinda girl, but everyone's got a soft side, right? For the right person, anyway..."

She was speechless. Perfect.

"That's your manager's tree?"

"Uh, yes, yes he brought it here for Christmas."

"You know me and your manager go way back."

She gave me the kinda look you give people when they claim to be Jesus Christ or the re-incarnation of Oda Nobunaga, "Really?"

For a second I completely forgot that I still looked eighteen.

"Uh, yeah! Yeah just a couple years, like, you know. Anyway," I looked at her name tag, "Minami? Is that your name?"

"Yes."

"I get that you have to play the goody-two-shoes while you're behind the cash register, but I think we both know you're a lot wilder than that, right? I bet you're a whole different person with that uniform off..."

She didn't know what to say that. She didn't know where to look either. If I'd been a guy she'd definitely have called the police already. But I'm not a guy, and also, I looked smokin' hot with Kotaro's hollywood makeup on.

"What I'm trying to say, Minami, is that you need to relax a little. I think if your manager knew I wanted the tree, he'd consider selling."

"Well, I, I'm not-"

I leaned in real close, "Come on, it can't hurt to ask, right?"

Her face was as red as a strawberry, "His office is j-just through that door over there, but he was just about to-"

"No problem! It'll only take a second!"

Kotaro was sulking over by the ice cream cabinet, pretending not to notice how I whooped his ass at winning over the cashier. I poked my tongue out at him as I passed by. He could sulk all he wanted, but even he can't out-do me when it comes to charming girls. I took a moment to enjoy the fact that damn right, I've still got it, then I cleared my head. It was time for the real deal: getting that goddamn tree.

I walked up to the manager's office door. Sure enough, the name on the front was none other than the idiot who had a crush on me way back when: Shige Itoh. I tried to think of how old he'd be now, but then that made me think how old I must be, so I cut that out before it could even get started.

His door wasn't the kind that made a solid sound when you knocked on it. It made more of an echoey, rattling noise, like the windows on old trains that always sound like they're about to fall out onto the tracks. I waited a second for him to invite me in, but nothing happened. I considered knocking again, but then I decided hell, why not just let myself in? So I did.

He was leaning over his desk, headphones over his ears and a pen in his hand, madly scribbling something or other onto a big-ass sheet of paper. He didn't have a clue who was standing behind him. That's when I got an idea. I tapped him on the shoulder. The shock made him jump out of his seat so fast he nearly flipped the chair over.

"Wh-who are you!? Haven't you heard of knocking before entering someone's office?"

Man did he look different. For starters he'd lost half his hair and gained some thick-rimmed glasses. He also sported a thin beard that sprouted out at random points on his face like a badly mowed lawn. He was so totally different that for a moment I was actually speechless. I began to wonder if he really was the guy I knew or if he was just some bozo with the same name. But I had a job to do, so I put all of that to the back of my mind, looked him dead in the eyes and in my deepest voice said,

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Ghosts...?"

I took a step closer to him, "Yeah, the undead. Beings from beyond the grave, wandering the Earth cos they have unfinished business..."

"I don't understand."

"You and me got a score to settle, Shige."

He backed away till he was almost sitting on his desk, "No, no no no! You've got the wrong guy! I've never had anything to do with the Yakuza! This must be a mistake!"

"Yakuza?!" I laughed, "I may have blonde hair but I'm not a Yak, Shige. Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"It's me, Saki Nikaido, the girl who took out your front tooth."

If I had any doubts, they went out the window when I saw the the look on his face. He knew he couldn't deny what his eyes were telling him. Come on, I thought, recognise me.

"No way..." he gasped, "this is a joke, isn't it? It's not funny."

"It's not a joke, but it is funny seeing you cooped up in this little box. Out of the two of us, I think I'm actually the one doing better right now, and I'm dead!" I pointed behind him, "Anyway, what were you writing on that paper?"

I strode over to the desk but he covered the paper with his body.

"N-nothing!"

I budged him out of the way. There, laid out neatly across the desk, was a draft page from what looked like one hell of a kinky H-manga.

"Dude, you were drawing porn? Hahaha!"

"It's not what it looks like!"

"Gotta get that guy-on-guy action in somewhere."

"It's for a friend."

"Oh come on Shige, we both know better than that. In fact, that's why I'm here..." I gave him a menacing grin, "You have committed many sins, Shige. Many, many sins."

He shook his head in denial. His hands were trembling. The better part of me started to wonder if I'd taken it too far, but then the worst part of me thought nah, to hell with it, if you're gonna spook someone you've gotta go all or nothing.

"I'm like one of those Christmas ghosts," I said, poking his nose with my index finger, "here to teach you a lesson."

"P-please don't kill me!"

"Well!" I exclaimed, swinging my arms open, "That all depends on if you're willing to make a charitable donation to the heavens!"

"...to church?"

"No! To me! Specifically, I need your Christmas tree."

"Just my Christmas tree? Not money, or my immortal soul?"

"Well you can give those too if you want."

He fiddled with his buttons, his face a picture of confusion. I decided it was time to change my strategy.

"Look, sit down all right? You look so antsy you're making me nervous. All I want is your damn Christmas tree."

He turned his chair around and sat down in front of his desk, facing me.

"Are you really Saki?"

"Yes. I got brought back from the dead as a zombie."

"By who?"

"Uh," I couldn't tell him it was Kotaro, or else all of Franchouchou would be screwed, so I thought up a lie, and I thought it up quick, "well believe it or not, I got brought back by Santa Claus."

He didn't like my answer, "You don't look like a zombie... and Santa doesn't raise people from dead."

"Santa's elves are good with makeup, and the old man's recently got into some freaky new hobbies. That satisfy you?"

"No."

"Well tough shit, cos I ain't telling you no more."

He smirked, "Now that's the Saki Nikaido I remember."

"The one and only!"

"You know, that was always what I loved about you. You never took crap from anyone."

"Not even you."

He laughed, "No, not even me."

"You knew I was lesbian, right?"

"I'm not proud of my teenage years."

"At least you had guts. Not many guys would keep coming back to a girl who knocked one of their teeth out. I mean you were stupid, but you were stupid with guts."

"Are you stupid with guts, Saki?"

I rolled up my sleeve, "You wanna lose another tooth?"

He raised his hands in surrender, "I think I've finally learned my lesson."

"So I can have the tree?"

He thought about it for a moment, then he said, "Yeah, go on. This is probably a dream anyway. I'm gonna wake up and the tree will still be there."

Now it was my turn to smirk, "Don't count on it."

I headed for the door. That went well, I thought to myself. But inside there was still one more thing I wanted to ask him. With my hand resting on the doorknob I looked back and gave in to my curiosity,

"Shige, I've been wondering for a long time now... were the rumours true? Did you really hook up with another guy back in middle school?"

He looked at me, not afraid like when he first saw me, but relieved, and replied, "Yes."

I gave him a thumbs up, "Nice."

Back in the storefront, Kotaro was trying his luck with the cashier again, to no avail.

"How about you give me this one on the house?" he said, holding up a chocolate ice cream.

"I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to pay for it or put it back."

"Yeah Shades," I interrupted, "besides, this one's mine."

I snatched the ice cream from his hands, unwrapped it, and took a big bite out of it right in front of the cashier. I gave her a flirty wink to top it off.

"Ogay Godaro, dime do-"

"Saki, you're not making any-"

I gulped down what was left of the chocolate, "The tree. He's given it to us."

Minami gasped, "He did!? He gave you the tree?"

She didn't mention the ice cream, which was good because I didn't have the money to pay for it.

"Yep," I replied, "it's ours to keep, he said! So Shades," I slapped him on the back, "you know what that means?"

He didn't.

"It means it's time to GO GO GO! GO GO GO GO GO!"

He wasn't ready for me to steal his line, but he jumped into action out of sheer shock. He ran for the tree, grabbed it in both arms, and we were out of the store and into the storm so fast I didn't even get to wave Minami goodbye.

I gave Kotaro a friendly elbow to the arm, "How'd you like a taste of your own medicine?"

"It just proves to me that my methods work."

"Well when you scream something with enough energy, it'll get anyone motivated."

"You'd know."

"Damn right I would. You can't fire up a biker gang with poetry, you know? You gotta scream at 'em."

The snow was falling thick and fast. It didn't help that the wind had decided to rush right at us as we struggled down the road, flinging snow directly into my eyes.

"What's up with this weather?"

"I don't see what's so bad about it."

"Don't act big, Shades. You've got that tree to protect you, not to mention your sunglasses. What have I got?"

"I thought you had guts?"

As he said that, a huge gust came wailing through the street like a snowplough, kicking up all the shit lying on the ground and throwing it about all over the place. It nearly tore my jacket off, but I kept my footing. Shades wasn't so lucky. He was dragged off his feet and into the road. As he fell, the tree was torn from his hands and flung against the wall of someone's house. All the decorations jingled off and flew away into the blizzard.

"Shades, the tree!"

I ran to grab it but as I got close it got blown away again, further the down the road. I kept chasing it, always just out of grabbing distance. Eventually I'd had enough.

"I'm gonna get you, you bastard tree!"

I leapt through the air. The tree tried to escape but it couldn't outrun me this time. I landed right on top of it, crushing most of its branches and definitely smashing what remaining decorations it did have, but at least I finally had it in my arms.

Behind me I heard the faint sound of applause. Clearly Kotaro had picked himself up after his fall.

"Good job, Saki."

I rolled off of the tree and lifted it out of the snow, "I hope you didn't want the decorations."

"I already have plenty in my office."

A flash of lightning shot across the clouds. The thunder came soon after. We had to get back indoors, and fast.

"How far are we from the house?"

"Hmm," Kotaro replied, "well I don't normally walk this far. I usually take the van."

Another bolt of lightning. This time the thunder came immediately after, rumbling so loudly that I could feel in my chest.

"Dude we need to get indoors before the storm trashes our tree."

"Indoors where?"

"How about, uh..."

Then in the distance I saw it. A big red sign glowing in the darkness. One of the few places around Karatsu that was open 24-7.

"Hey, Shades, you like family restaurants?"

"Family restaurants...? The kind with self-service drink bars?"

"Exactly."

I pointed to the sign, "Got a 'Gusto' over there, might even be one of those twenty-four hour ones."

More thunder. My fingers were starting to go numb. Kotaro trudged past me silently, his cape completely snow-encrusted in the storm.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then."

I practically fell through the door. It was so warm inside that it felt like we'd just walked into an oven.

"Hello!" said the chirpy waitress, "Two?"

"Uh, yeah, and a tree." I replied.

"Right this way!"

The place was totally dead, dead-er than I was, even, but she still dutifully directed us to a little table for two in the corner of the restaurant, by a huge window. It wasn't much of a view; the blizzard was so intense it felt like being inside a shaken-up snowglobe.

"Here's the Grand Menu," she explained, taking two huge plastic menus out of a holder on the table and handing them to us, "please ring the bell when you're ready to order."

Next to the salt and pepper shakers was a little plastic button that when pushed rang a bell to summon the waiting staff. I didn't often go to family restaurants when I was alive, but seeing the little bell really took me back.

"You hungry, Shades?"

He was staring forlornly out into the white nothingness.

"Hm? Ah, no, not really. I might have some fries or something."

He didn't break eye contact with the snow. Beside him the tree was slowly melting into the floor.

"Dude, is something up? You don't look right."

"I'll have a drink bar."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

He rested his head on his hands, "Things didn't go as I planned..."

"No shit, we should've left the whole trip for another day when the weather wasn't trying to kill us."

He looked down at the 'Grand Menu'. I'd never seen him so blue before. I rested my elbows on the table, "Look, we got the tree, didn't we? I mean, I know it got a bit wet in the snow just now, but it doesn't look too bad! Nothing we can't fix."

He remained silent, his eyes unreadable behind his sunglasses.

"Come on, Shades, get a grip already! We did it! We got the damn tree! No one has to know it wasn't the tree you planned to bring back, do they!? What is your problem!?"

"Ugh," he sighed, "I'm sorry, Saki."

Now that one threw me. That had to be the first time I'd ever heard him to apologise like that – not just to me but to anyone.

"Coming in here," he continued, "it reminded me... I... came here once before, with uh, well..."

"...with who?"

"I didn't expect the memory to hit me."

"Yeah but with who? Don't leave me hanging like this."

"...it was with Sakura."

At first I didn't make the connection, "You came here with Sakura? When was that? I don't recall you two heading out alone since I woke up."

He let out a bitter chuckle, "No, no... this was..." he leaned back in the chair and sighed again, "Ahhh I think I'm finally feeling the effects of staying up all night."

I couldn't make head or tail of his weird behaviour. Maybe it was the hunger, or maybe I'm just a dumbass, but somehow it didn't occur to me to think 'Wait a minute, maybe he knew Sakura before she died'. You know what I was thinking, though? I was thinking I could really go for some Extra Spicy Chicken with infinite soda. So I pushed the button.

Within seconds the waitress had descended upon our table.

"What can I get you?"

"I'll have the Extra Spicy Fried Chicken and a drink bar," I said. She noted down my order then looked over to Kotaro. He was still moping, so I suggested,

"I think what you need is some sweet relief, my man. Get yourself a drink bar."

He nodded, "Yeah, I'll have a drink bar. Just a drink bar."

"Okay, coming right up! Please help yourself to the drinks!" she replied, then off she went to the kitchen. Probably the chef would be happy to have some work to do, I thought. But then again, if it was me, I'd much rather have a nap than cook some jackass a fry-up.

Kotaro stood up and asked me, "What do you want to drink?"

"Nah it's okay dude, I'll get my own. I like to have a bit of everything."

We wandered over to the drink bar together, "A bit of everything? Even the coffee?"

"Hell no, just the soda."

"I like my soda pure."

"Yeah but when you mix them, it makes the wildest flavour."

He pushed a lever and poured himself a glass of cola, no ice.

"You don't do ice, Shades?"

"The ice dilutes the cola flavour as it melts."

I started working my way through the various sodas. Cola, Melon Soda, Orangeade, Lemonade; you name it, I added it to the glass.

"Ah shit, I should've added ice before I did the soda."

"It doesn't need ice."

"If the chicken is as spicy as they say it is I'm gonna want a cold drink."

I dropped a few ice cubes in my full-to-the-brim glass. Some of the liquid spilled onto the floor but not enough to matter. As we sat back at the table I downed half the glass in one go.

"Damn that's good! Honestly Shades you should try this!"

He sipped his cola, "I told you, I-"

"Yeah yeah, you like your soda pure, I get it."

He took a bigger sip, "What's the time?"

"I dunno man, you're the one with the watch."

"I lost it in the bike crash."

"Well I don't wear a watch."

"I just figured you might know."

"Why would I know the time? I haven't got zombie time-telling powers or anything."

Now he was staring into his drink. I didn't understand how he could go from being in a good mood outside in a blizzard, to being so sullen inside a nice restaurant in the warm.

"We should get going soon," he mumbled.

"Look at that snow," I said, pointing to the window, "we aren't going anywhere in that."

He fiddled with his sunglasses.

"I know something's up with you, Shades. Just spit it out already, before I lose my patience."

"That depends," he said, eyeing up the salt shaker, "can you keep a secret?"

"DUH! Of course I can!"

He looked at me skeptically.

"All right, all right, so I'm a bit loud. But you can trust me. Have I given away the fact that I'm a zombie yet?"

Just then the waitress arrived with my spicy chicken.

"Here you go," she said with a smile, "please enjoy!"

Kotaro was still giving me the stinkeye.

"Fine, if you aren't gonna tell me I'll just sit here and eat this chicken and you can mope in silence."

I took a bite out of the chicken. They called it extra spicy, but it wasn't even like a mild chicken from Drive-in Tori. Neither of us said anything to each other. The only sounds in the room were the muffled wails of the wind outside and the quiet grumbling of the restaurant's aircon. Even the waitress was quiet. I'd almost finished the food when Kotaro finally asked me,

"Have you ever loved anyone, Saki?"

I replied straight away,

"Yeah, I have. I thought you'd know that."

"Research can only tell me what you did, not who you were."

"That's deep."

"There's a lot of overlap between necromancy and philosophy."

"What, because both of them attract weirdos like you?" I joked.

"Hmph! You're one to talk."

"It's all right, we're both weird. Hell, we're all weird, all of Franchouchou."

"It's why I chose you."

"Cos I'm a weirdo?"

"Because you all belong together," he replied.

Outside the snow turned to hail. Suddenly it sounded like the restaurant was under attack from an army of machine guns. I took a straw from the stand where the menus were and started stirring my soda concoction.

"So did you figure that we'd all turn out to be gay?"

He frowned, "No..."

"Hahaha! Why do you sound so grumpy about that? Don't tell me you've got a crush on Ai? Or is it Junko?"

"Not at all! I-"

"Oh no, Shades, please, is it Lily? Will I have to call the cops?"

He was blushing now.

"It is Lily!? Dude seriously?"

"I do not have a crush on Lily!"

"Then who?"

"Sakura!"

My jaw dropped.

"No way... is that why she's the center?"

His face was as red as a tomato. I chugged down what remained of my soda mixture.

"Hey man I'm not judging."

He crossed his arms and pouted like a little kid.

"When did you get this crush on her?"

He tapped his fingers on the table, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"...middle school," he said quietly.

"Hmm?" I teased, "what was that?"

"I knew her in middle school."

It took me a moment. But then I realised.

"Ah! So you knew her before she DI-"

He smacked his hand over my mouth. I went to punch him but then I saw the waitress wandering by, wiping tables that were already perfectly clean.

"Mmhfmfhm."

He took his hand off me.

"You panic too much," I grumbled.

"We have to be careful."

"You have to be braver."

That annoyed him.

"I'm not a coward, Saki."

"And yet you never told Sakura your feelings."

"Did you tell your crush yours?"

Now it was my turn to be annoyed.

"I was in love with Reiko. She was straight."

"How do you know that?"

"Well I just, I just knew, all right? I just assumed... I never really told her my feelings so it didn't come up. I mean she must've known about me, kind of everyone knew about me-"

He smirked, "Of course they did! How could they not?"

"...I'll take that as a compliment."

We sat in silence for a while after that. The ice in my glass had completely melted in the restaurant's oven-hot room temperature. I went and got another drink, same as last time, still putting the ice in after the liquid, like an idiot, and still spilling everything everywhere in the process.

Should I have told Reiko that I loved her? I stood there, soda glass in hand, staring at the melon soda button on the drinks machine trying to think back, trying to find any memory of Reiko indicating that maybe she was interested in me like I was in her. It's easy to make bold decisions when you're not afraid of messing up. When everything's screwed already why worry, right? I was a fuckup from get-go. Every decision's a good decision when you start out as badly as I did. But with Reiko it was different. Reiko mattered to me. I didn't wanna fuck that up. It was better to hold it in, to keep it to myself. The one time I needed to have guts, and the one goddamn time I didn't have any.

I sat back down at the table. Kotaro looked about as good as I felt.

"...Saki..." he began, absorbed in his reflection in the restaurant window, "what should I do?"

With me and Reiko it was already over; she already had a kid, a husband, everything. Kotaro still had a shot, or at least a chance to actually tell the person he loved how he felt.

"You've gotta tell her, man."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is."

"But Saki-"

"No, shut up for a second and listen. I lived and died without saying how I felt-"

Kotaro grimaced. I look around and the waitress was staring at us. I glared at her and she went back to messing around with the empty tables.

"-I never told Reiko how I felt, and now I'm stuck with it forever, all right? You wanna know how that feels? Let me tell you: it feels like shit."

"I know."

"No you don't."

He kept looking right at me. Or at least, I thought he did. His shades hid everything. Maybe that's why he wore them all the time.

"You knew Sakura in real life, right?" I continued, "You've known her longer than any of us. Even if when you tell her it all goes to shit, she's not gonna turn her back on you."

"How do you know that?" he said, his voice getting louder, "I could tell her, and she won't feel even remotely the same way! Now I'm a creep, now I make her feel awkward, make it impossible for her to be in Franchouchou-"

"Woah hold up-"

He started to become frantic, "she'll be forced to leave, alone, nowhere to go, and it'll be my fault! After everything I did to make her dream come true, I'll be the one to destroy it, and there'll be no coming back, nothing..."

He slumped in his chair.

I took another swig of my soda concoction, "Let me talk to her."

"No! You can't."

"Why not?"

"Please, let me handle this."

"Seriously-"

"Please. Promise me you won't tell her."

"If I don't tell her, will you?"

He sighed, "Just promise me, Saki."

"All right, all right, I won't tell her. I promise."

I knew right away I wasn't keeping that promise.

"Shades," I said, "you're kidding yourself if you think you can just ignore these feelings."

"If I'm going to tell her, I want to tell her at the right time. It needs to be perfect."

"No it doesn't. It just needs to be genuine. I waited and waited too, and look where I am now."

He frowned, "I'm sorry Saki."

"...for what?"

"When I brought everyone back from the dea- uh... well when I brought everyone back, I knew this was a possibility. I knew it was possible you'd meet people from before, and relive regrets from the past. This is my fault, really."

"My shit is my shit, all right? Don't blame yourself. I had my chance and I blew it. That's on me. But now you have the same choice. Right now, you're going down the same shitty path I did, and you can keep on going that way if you want, but you'd be acting like a goddamn idiot. Learn from my mistakes, Shades. Tell her."

I could see it was tearing him up inside. In the past the only side I ever saw of Shades was Mr. Bold and Confident (and a bit goofy), but that night I saw how vulnerable he could be. It was weird. That wasn't how I expected to feel about Kotaro. If I'd gone back and told the others about what happened I don't think anyone would believe me. He was like a different person.

Then he adjusted his sunglasses.

"Alright," he said.

"Hm?"

"I'll do it. I'll tell her. What you said was right," he continued, his voice getting louder with every word.

"Can't believe you just admitted that."

"Hmph! You'll have to keep that a secret as well!"

"No chance!"

He stood up dramatically, knocking the tree onto its side as he swung his arms out, "Right! It's time to go home. Oh and Saki..."

"Yeah?"

He pointed at me and grinned, "Thanks for the idea."

"What, to tell Sakura? I thought that was your-"

But it was too late, he was already throwing money at the cashier and racing for the door.

"Hey! Wait up god damn it!"

I grabbed the tree and ran after him. The storm hadn't let up even a little bit. Immediately snow was flinging itself into my eyes.

"You owe me one for this, Shades."

He clapped me on the back, "I don't have to pay you for official idol activity."

"Don't push your luck."

"We'll discuss it when we get home. For now, Saki, lead the way."

"I thought you knew the way back?"

"I did, but everything looks different in the snow."

"That's what got us stuck here in the first place..."

"I trust you."

Yeah, he was back to his usual self all right. I almost preferred him when he was mopey and confused.

The journey back felt like it would never end. Every turn we took was somehow a wrong turn. At one point we even ended up at Karatsu Castle. Thankfully we passed by an old bar I used to (illegally) drink at, and from there I knew the way back to our hideout at the edge of town. Kotaro's van was sitting outside the front door, half-buried in snow.

"Honestly, dude, we should've just taken the fucking van."

"Shh! Keep your voice down. We don't want to wake the others."

Kotaro tiptoed over to the front door and gently slid the key into the lock. He looked back at me.

"You need to hide! They can't know you came with me."

I scowled at him, "They're gonna be asleep, you moron."

"Get behind the van."

"No."

"Saki-"

"Just open the door already!"

He stood there for a moment, his hand on the doorknob, just staring at me, then he said, "Fine! But don't come in till I give you the word."

He inched the door open and crept in. By this point I was practically a snowman. I couldn't feel my feet and I had no idea how long Kotaro would be in there. I wondered: was the van locked? So I tried pulling on the tailgate. I figured with how paranoid Shades was about me seeing the inside of the van that it'd be locked shut, but no, it swung right open. When I saw what was inside I realised why he said we had to go by bike.

From behind me came the familiar creak of our front door.

"Okay Saki, you can-"

His jaw practically fell off.

"How did you open that!?"

"It was unlocked."

Inside the van was a mountain of Sakura-themed paraphernalia. I'm not just talking photos, I'm talking body pillows, plushies, poorly-drawn portraits and even a school uniform.

"Shades... I get that you like Sakura, but this is next level."

Now he was beside me, scratching his head and avoiding eye contact.

"I can explain."

I held back laughter, "Explain how you're not a creepy stalker?"

"I had to move it out of my office."

"Right, for the Christmas stuff..."

"Exactly."

"But why did you make all this crap in the first place?"

"Actually I had most of it commissioned by a friend of mine. I did the drawings though."

I facepalmed so hard my hand almost went through my face.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Love makes you do strange things."

"I suppose you want me to keep this a secret too?"

"Of course."

"All right. On one condition..."

He audibly gulped.

"Drive-in Tori. We haven't eaten there since the commercial shoot. Take me back there again and I won't tell Sakura you're a creepy weirdo (although honestly she probably already thinks you're a creepy weirdo)."

He sighed, "Fine, you've got a deal."

We shook on it and he shut the door on his mountain of shame. This time he made sure to lock it. Then he took the tree from me.

"You go in first. Be as quiet as possible; no one can notice you getting into bed."

"I can't remember where I left my PJs, so it might take a while."

"Forget about the pyjamas, just sneak in there and get in the futon."

"You're a pain in the ass, Shades."

"I'll go in after you and hide the tree in my office."

I did as he asked and crept in to the bedroom. I saw that Lily was in bed now; she must've woken up after we left. It's possible she noticed I was gone...

'Great', I thought to myself, 'gonna be fun trying to explain that in the morning.'

But I already knew I wasn't keeping Kotaro's secret. If anyone knew Sakura it was me, and I knew I could find out whether she had feelings for the big idiot or not. In truth I kinda had the hots for Sakura myself, and I'd been meaning to ask her about what kinda people she was into, if you get what I'm saying.

Then I got thinking about Reiko again. She may have looked a lot older when I saw her up at Kagamiyama, but she was still just as beautiful as she ever was. I should've said something to her, right there and then. I'm not normally one for regrets, but if I had any regrets it was that I never told Reiko how I felt when I was alive. Maybe now it was finally time to really be gutsy.

Maybe.

Then as I closed my eyes and was about to drift off to sleep, Kotaro, with all the grace of a hyperactive hippo, barged in through the front door. A few hours later and I had to be up to sort out the tree I'd spent all damn night obtaining.

And the rest... well you know the rest. The whole decorating-the-tree thing went fine, better than expected, even, despite how tired I felt. I'm glad everyone else wanted to do the hard work cos after putting up that tree I was done.

As crazy as the night had been, the rest of the day was totally normal. An average day at the Franchouchou house, feat. Christmas decorations. I spent so much time napping that I almost forgot to talk to Sakura. But I didn't forget. Hell no. This year, Santa Claus is a blonde, match-making lesbian, baby. Whip out your mistletoes and get your bells a-jingling, cos Santa's riding a Harley into town this Christmas!

"Saki-chan?"

I froze, startled. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't realise Sakura had walked right in front of me in the hallway.

"Ah, uh, Sakura... I wanted to tell ya something."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "Actually, I have something I need to talk to you about, too..."