A/n: Please note the higher rating and added mention in the summary. :) Can't promise either of those will be necessary for later chapters - not sure yet - but they definitely are here!

Chapter Eleven

Harry almost lost his nerve a couple of times as he made his way down Diagon Alley that night, having decided to wait until he knew Severus would be done for the day before going to see him. The shops were dark now, most closed up by this time of night. Only a few stragglers remained on the dark street. He almost turned back a couple of times, but he refused. He had fucking faced Voldemort down, and goddamn it, he was a Gryffindor. He was not going to let this intimidate him. He was not going to let his health issues stop him from getting what was his. Severus Snape was a stubborn but so was Harry. He was not going to let him get in the way of this, not without a fight. He knew that love could be scary, but it had never occurred to him that he would get pushed away because of it.

Shaking the thoughts of him, Harry took a deep breath as he reached the back door to the apothecary shop. He reached up and hesitated a second before knocking on the door. Severus would have stopped working by now. He'd be upstairs, reading in front of the fire. After a few moments, there was no noise coming from the other side of the door, so Harry knocked louder. His heart was beating rapidly inside his chest, and he told himself that it was because he was anxious, not because he was having an attack. He took another deep breath to steady himself as he heard some loud footsteps coming down the stairs.

The door finally opened, and Harry was faced with an irate Severus Snape. "I thought I made it clear -" he began, but Harry cut him off.

"You did, and call me a stubborn arse, but I don't care," he said. " We are going to talk."

"No - "

"Yes, we are." With that, Harry shoved past him and turned, stomping up the stairs. He heard the door slam, and angry footsteps follow him.

"Get out of my house," Severus demanded as Harry turned to face him. He looked angry, but now that his head was a bit clearer, her saw through the mask. A truly angry Severus Snape was enough to send anyone running home in fear. While the older man had a great control over his emotions, he had a breaking point. Harry had been on that end often enough to know what it looked like when he was truly angry. That was not what was facing now. Right now, Harry was being faced with the supreme acting of a former spy, but he knew him well enough that he could see that it was all an act.

"No, because you don't really want me to leave, any more than I want to," he said. "You're scared, and I get that, but…"

"We are not -"

"No, you stubborn arsehole," Harry said, cutting him off again. He needed to get this out before Severus physically threw him out again. Next time, he might not let him back in at all. "I'm not letting you do that; I'm not letting you throw this away. I know how you feel about me."

The older man just stared at him blankly, and Harry wondered what he was thinking. It was possible to tell sometimes because he hid his emotions so well. However, that mask only lasted about ten seconds, and then Severus seemed to snap. "Who are you to tell me what I do and do not feel, Potter?!" His eyes narrowed, and Harry could see him clenching his fists.

He would not back down, now that he was here - he was going to get Severus to see reason. It was his turn to get angry now. It was infuriating to see the older man try to deny what they had, what had been going so well just because Harry had said he loved him maybe a bit too soon. "I'm not letting you throw this away before we even have a chance to truly see what this is! So, I said I love you. So, what? That's a fucking compliment! "

They just stood there, staring at each other. The tension was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. Severus seemed to be breathing just as hard as Harry was. He wasn't sure what made him do it later, but something snapped inside of him, and he lunged at Severus. Harry threw his arms around him, standing on his tiptoes and kissing him hard on the mouth. It only took Severus a moment to kiss him back, and another moment to take control of the kiss. The next thing Harry knew, the older man was pushing him up against the wall. Harry had never given much thought to liking being shoved around a bit, but he had to admit that he wouldn't mind if Severus did that again.

He moaned into the kiss, his hands eagerly moving over Severus's chest, unbuttoning each of the damned buttons on the man's robes before pushing them off his shoulders. Harry next worked on removing Severus's button-up shirt as the older man quickly rid him of the t-shirt he had been wearing. They were both pushing at each other's pants, dropping them to the floor as they sought to devour each other with their mouths. Severus quickly wrapped an arm around his waist, and led him to the bedroom, pushing him down on the bed. He looked eagerly up at him before Severus leaned down, covering his lips with his own once more.

In a moment, Harry felt Severus remove his boxers. He had wanted this for so long it seemed, he had no time to think about the fact that maybe this was happening a bit too quickly, a bit too soon, that maybe he wasn't healthy enough for this yet. As Severus sat up to even the playing field so that there was no more clothing between them, all he could think about was yes, he wanted this, and damn it, he needed it. Severus returned to his previous position, covering Harry's body with his own. Harry wrapped his arms around him as they kissed, running his nails down the older man's back.

Harry could feel Severus's thick erection up against his own, and he rocked his hips up into him. The older man moaned into the kiss, gripping Harry's hips tightly. He felt his lover's rough hands move in between his legs, slowly easing them apart. He had no hesitation, letting Severus do whatever he wanted to him. The older man broke the kiss, and moved, reaching over to the bedside table. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to stop. He was quickly proven wrong when a moment later, Severus slipped a lubed finger inside of his arse.

The feeling was different, and it took Harry a moment to adjust to the feeling, but as Severus thrust the finger inside him, he moaned, rocking his hips into him. His hands were no longer on Severus's back, instead were resting on Severus's shoulder. He ran his hands down his chest as the man inserted a second finger inside him. He moaned again, rocking his hips again, trying to get as much of the fingers inside of him as he could. Severus quickly leaned down, sucking and nibbling on Harry's neck as a third finger joined. He moaned even louder as he felt the fingers brush against his prostate, causing him to see stars. "Severus, please… " He heard the needy sound in his voice, and Severus took his lips off his neck.

Severus moved up, locking eyes with him. He kissed him quickly before removing his fingers from inside him. Harry moaned at the loss of the feeling inside him, though he knew that feeling wouldn't last long. The older man moved positions again, and soon, Harry could feel the head of his cock pressing against Harry's arse. Slowly, Severus pushed his considerable length inside him until he was fully seated. Harry moaned, digging his nails into the older man's shoulders as Severus allowed him a moment to adjust. The pain passed quickly, and then he just needed Severus to move.

The older man seemed to know exactly what he was doing, but he soon started doing just that, thrusting long and slow within him. All Harry could do was moan beneath him, eagerly rocking his hips into every thrust. He just wanted more, and Severus seemed all too willing to give it to him. With every long, slow thrust, Harry knew that this couldn't be the last time they did this because damn it, it just might kill him. They needed to do this again because it was fucking good, better than good.

With each thrust, Harry felt himself getting closer and closer. He didn't want this to stop, but he knew it, and with one last thrust inside him, Harry called out Severus's name. The older man groaned as he came soon after him. Now spent, Severus slipped out of him and came to lay beside. For a moment, neither of them said anything. "We have got to do that again."

Severus chuckled but said nothing, and a moment later, Harry felt the bed beneath them move as he changed positions. "I shouldn't have done that, Harry, no matter how much either of us wanted it," he said. "You are not ready."

"I don't think that's for you to say," he responded, though he could tell by the tightness in his chest that Severus was right. He didn't regret this, though, not for a moment. "I'm fine, see?" His heart leapt a bit at being called Harry again, thinking that maybe they might be past all the fighting and Severus's insecurities, as much as they ever could be past it.

"Are you in any pain?"

Harry knew better than to lie to him, knowing that Severus could read him too easily for that. He reached a hand up to his chest, rubbing it lightly. "A bit, nothing bad, though," he said, honestly.

Severus reached up, joining his hand with Harry's. "Take a deep breath," he said. "I can't give you more potions for it; you have to learn to deal with this on your own." He breathed with Severus until he slowly felt the pain in chest subside. "I should not have lost control."

"It's okay, I'm fine," Harry said again, smiling up at him. "I wanted that; I wanted you more than I've ever wanted anything, especially after what you did…" Pain shot through him, though it had nothing to do with his injury. "Look, Severus… I understand that you're scared. I am, too. I'm fucking terrified." Their hands were still joined together on Harry's chest. "I know I shouldn't have said that I loved you so soon, but I'm not afraid of it. I know I do. I do love you, and I'm not stupid. I don't expect you to say it back. I just… I need you to know and be okay with it. That doesn't mean that you need to push me away. We'll figure it out together."

"You could have anyone you wanted," Severus said. "You deserve better."

"No, I don't," Harry said, though he was glad that Severus was being honest with him. If this was ever going to work, they needed, to be honest with each other. He wouldn't let the older man ruin this. "Because there isn't anyone better. No one has been through more than you, and no one deserves to be happy more than you. And aside from all of that, no one understands me the way you do. You get me, and you don't expect more than I can give. That, all of that and more, is why I love you."

Severus was silent for a moment, and Harry wondered briefly if he was going to push him away. The potions master leaned down, kissing him briefly before pulling away. He grabbed his wand and cast a quick cleaning spell over them before laying down beside him again. Harry took that a sign as that he was going to be allowed to stay, that they were going to work past this. He snuggled into Severus's chest as he felt the older man wrap his arms around him, pressing a quick kiss into his hair. Yes, Harry thought as he felt himself getting drowsy, this is what I need.

Severus's voice suddenly took Harry out of his slightly sleepy state. "Had you ever had sex before tonight?" Harry shook his head, shifting his face so that he could give the older man a small smile. "With anyone?"

He shook his head again. "No, that was my first time with anyone."

"You and Miss Weasley didn't…?"

"No, we weren't really together long enough to really do anything other than snog, and we were both so young at the time." It seemed like a lifetime ago now; he didn't even feel like the same person, and right now, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else. "Since then, I've had too many issues to think about being with anyone else." He paused for a moment, before continuing. "Does it bother you that I was a virgin before tonight?"

Severus hesitated for a second before responding. "A bit, but I think it might bother me more if you had… been around, to speak."

Harry couldn't help but chuckle, as it seemed so like Severus to get possessive at the idea of him having been with anyone else. To be honest, it bothered Harry, too. He knew that a man Severus's age was no virgin. "What about you?" he asked. "You've certainly done that before." He knew that the older man didn't do relationships, or hadn't before him, but that didn't mean he hadn't done other things.

"I have," he said, "though not as often as you would think. Let's just say that I get what I need when I need it, and nothing more. I have never seen the need to have anything more than casual affairs, usually, on the rare occasion I was away from the school, for instance at the Symposiums during the summer when I deigned to go." He hesitated for a second. "Does that bother you ?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe a little, but I understand that you had a past before me, and that's fine," he said. "It's the future that concerns me."

Severus gently ran a hand down his back and seemed to be thinking about something. "What if this doesn't work?"

The idea of this not working was always a possibility - they were very different people, despite all the reasons why it did work. He was glad that the potions master was finally opening up to him, even if it was just brief moments. This was a huge step in the right direction as far as Harry was concerned. He shrugged his shoulders in response. "So, what if it doesn't? Is that going to stop you from trying, when this could be something wonderful? I think you're asking the wrong question, Sev - what if it does work? Are you going to throw this away just because you're scared? That doesn't sound like you."

The conversation ended after that, but Harry knew he had won this argument - at least for now. He snuggled back against Severus's chest, allowing contentment to drift over him. They had no way of knowing how the future would turn out. The point was that they had to at least try, because if they didn't, then they would spend the rest of their lives wondering what if. Harry was not willing to do that, and he was starting to think he may have convinced Severus of that, too.

Hermione separated from Draco, pulling back from the intense goodbye kiss she had been sharing. The two of them had spent the entire day together. They had breakfast that morning, wandered around London for a bit before having lunch, shopped that afternoon before heading to a park to walk around before doing some shopping before dinner. She wasn't much of a shopper, but her boyfriend seemed to love it. They had dinner, before walking around a bit more and then headed back to her apartment - her and Harry's apartment.

"Do you want to come in for a bit?" she asked. Hermione was reluctant to let Draco go, but with Harry inside, she didn't want the blond to be staying for too long. She hoped that Harry was not depressed still. He had taken the breakup - if one could call it that - rather hard. She admitted that it was rather foolish of Severus, but it fit his behavior and personality rather well. She thought Harry was good for him, though, so she hoped the two managed to work things out.

"Love to," Draco said, smiling at her and following her in.

"Harry, it's us, we're -" Hermione stopped mid-sentence, as she realized that her apartment was empty. It's owner, and her roommate were not there. "Harry?" she called. Silence. "That's strange."

"Maybe he went out," Draco offered, his arm still around her.

"He doesn't go out," she told him. "Besides, he has been depressed since Severus hasn't been speaking to him." Draco raised an eyebrow as the two of them sat on the couch. He pulled her close, and she wrapped her arms around him. She relayed what Harry had told her, as she had mentioned it to him yet. After all, it wasn't her story to tell, really.

"Maybe he decided to give the Professor a piece of his mind. He's not the type to take something lying down, after all."

Hermione shrugged. "Maybe, I just hope he's okay, that's all. I worry."

"I know you do, it's who you are," he said, smiling down at her again and Hermione felt her heart skip a beat. The blond leaned down, and slowly drew her into a kiss. Her lips eagerly parted for him, wanting as much of him as she could get. He pulled her closer before pulling her onto his lap. She straddled his hips as they continued devouring each other's mouths. Her hands wrapped around his neck. Draco's hands were on her back. One moved up to her hair, while the other slowly began to travel down her back. She felt shivers run down her spine, as she traveled a hand down her boyfriend's chest.

Hermione wanted this, she wanted him, but another part of her was almost afraid. She hesitated to stop him, though, because it felt so good. Slowly, she felt Draco's hands slip underneath her shirt, traveling up her bare skin as he broke the kiss, moving his lips to her neck. The bushy-haired woman let out a moan and wanted desperately to let Draco have his way with her. "Draco, please, stop."

The blond let out a frustrated groan on her neck, before lifting his head up. "Is everything okay?"

Hermione nodded, slipping off his lap so that she was sitting next to him again, curling into his side. She knew this must be frustrating for him, as they had very little time alone. They both worked so much, and with Harry here all the the time, and his parents at his house… She knew this wasn't fair to him, but she knew that she had done the right thing. "I'm sorry, I'm just... " She took a deep breath, steeling her nerves. "Ron and I rushed into the physical side of our relationship, and I just… I just want us to hold off on… this for a bit longer. I just want to do this right, and I'm afraid if we rush into having sex, that we wouldn't be. Does that make sense?"

Draco smiled down at her. "Yes, it does, Hermione," he said. "You know that I wouldn't rush you, of course."

"Of course," she said, laying her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're not ready, and that's fine. We'll wait as long as you want us to."

Severus and Harry had fallen asleep at some point after that. Severus awoke in the middle of night, as was usual for him. What was not usual was the feeling of Harry's sleeping form snuggled up against him. He wasn't unpleasant, far from it in fact. It was just unusual, though, because he was not used to waking up with anyone. Nor had he, in his forty-two years ever woken up with anyone else. Anytime he had sex with anyone before, it was always quick and rushed. This, what he had with Harry tonight, had not been like that. Nothing with Harry had been like anything he had ever experienced before. Despite all the reasons that he had as to why this shouldn't work, why he should end it, here he was. At the moment, ending things was the furthest thing from his mind.

Slowly disentangling himself from his young lover, he slipped out of bed. Putting on a night robe, he made his way into the living room. That was when he suddenly saw a face appear in his fireplace. "Oh, Severus, you're awake!" said a tired and exasperated looking Hermione Granger.

"Not an usual thing for me," he said, "however, why are you awake? And bothering me at this time of the night?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Sorry, but I was hoping Harry was there," she told him. "I woke up to get a drink of water, and I noticed that Harry still wasn't home. I was hoping he was there, with you." She looked worried, and Severus made a mental note to remind him to leave her a note or something. Something had to be done if she was going to be doing this next time he spent the night.

Next time, Severus thought to himself. So quickly, and he was already sure that he was going to have Harry here again. "Yes, he's here." Hermione seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "He's sleeping right now unless you insist on having me wake him." The tone of his voice said clearly what he thought of that idea. She was his roommate, not his warden.

"No no, of course not," she said. "I just wanted to make sure. I was worried for a bit. Sorry to bother you so late." She smiled at him. "I'm glad you two made up. Have a good night Severus." She cut off the Floo call, and the fireplace was empty once more. Shaking his head, he made his way back into his bedroom. Harry was sleeping soundly on his bed. For a moment, Severus stood there, just content to watch him. Part of him still thought that this was a mistake, but as he undressed and got back into bed, he remembered something that Harry had told him. "You're asking yourself the wrong question. What if it does work?"

Severus lay next to Harry, watching him for a bit. He was about to drift off back to sleep when Harry started to move in his sleep. Something he was dreamy about was clearly bothering him. He jerked this way and that, starting to mumble in his sleep. Suddenly, Harry seemed to awake with a start, and it was clear from the expression on his face that he was shocked, confused and in pain.

Severus reached out and put his hands on his shoulders. "Harry, stop, it's me." He had to repeat it a couple of times before Harry seemed to realize what was going on. Once the shock wore off, the younger man's hand flew up to his chest, wincing in pain. Like he had last night, Severus reached up and put his hand over Harry's. "Breathe, Harry, take a deep breath."

It took a couple of minutes before his young lover's breathing returned to normal. Once it had, Harry immediately seemed to want to get as close to Severus as possible. He knew better than to ask what Harry had dreamed about because he could guess. Besides, it wasn't any of his business, nor did it matter. If he wanted to talk, that was fine. Severus, personally, had never liked talking about the bad dreams that he had from time to time. They were nothing that he wanted to repeat.

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him as tightly as possible as he felt the younger man shaking against him. Slowly, the shaking subsided, and he heard Harry's voice say, "and this is another reason as to why I choose you." He didn't need an explanation for that. He doubted few others would understand how to deal with this situation. He pressed a kiss to Harry's hair before the two of them slowly drifted back off to sleep.