A/n: Sorry for the insanely long wait! I wanted to get some work done my Drarry Severitus - a much bigger project - but I am back now to this story, and updates should be coming much faster now! There's not that many chapters left now.
Chapter 12
Harry woke up the next morning alone. At first, a sense of fear went through him that Severus had left, but no, that was ridiculous because he was in Severus's bed right now. The man was an early riser; he should have known that. Taking a deep breath, he got up, getting dressed before heading out of the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen to find his lover sitting at the dining room table, fully dressed. He was ready the morning Prophet and drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up as Harry walked in. "Good morning," he said. "I did not wish to wake you up. I thought it best to let you sleep."
He understood that Severus had to work. Harry didn't change that. "It's okay," he said. It had been a bit shocking to wake up in a strange bed alone, especially after the nightmare, but his lover knew exactly how to handle it, though. Anyone else would have asked to talk about it or asked if he was okay. Severus wasn't like that because he understood. Harry walked over to Severus, giving him a quick kiss before going and pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Mmm, did you eat already?"
"I don't eat much in the morning, but I have already gotten what I needed," he said. "I did save you some sausages, though. Feel free to use them and anything else you need." Harry smiled at him because, in Severus-speak, that was pretty much saying that he should make himself at home. "Also, you should go home." A wave of fear and pain had washed through him before Severus continued. "Your warden called while you were sleeping last night."
Harry's face turned into a look of confusion. "Hermione did? Why?" Then it hit him. "Oh, I came over here without saying anything and then didn't come home. She must have been worried." She had been out with Draco, and it hadn't even occurred to him to write a note to let her know where he'd be. Of course, she had probably been worried when he hadn't come home that night. He felt like an arse for worrying her like that, especially with his recent health issues.
"Yes, she seemed to be so," Severus said, having on briefly looked up from the paper he was reading. "At least until I confirmed that you were, indeed, here. Nonetheless, I would advise next time that you leave her a note. We cannot very well have her calling here to ask where you are every time you spend the night."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I will, and I'll go and talk to her," he said. He would definitely need to apologize for worrying her like that. Then he had caught what Severus had said - the next time that he spent the night. A smile crossed the young man's face. "So, there is going to be a next time?"
"Yes, and you can wipe that smirk off your face, Potter," he said. "I would not have slept with you last night if I didn't intend to bring you back here." There was a pause before Severus continued speaking. "Also, I thought I saw another expression cross your face earlier. What was it that you thought when I told that you should leave?"
A light blush crossed Harry's cheeks. "Nothing. It's not important." He was glad that the bump in the road with his relationship with Severus was over. It seemed to have snapped something in the older man because he was no longer pushing him away. Now, if only his first day at his new job would start so that he could get his life back on track, everything would be as close to perfect as it was ever going to get for him - depression, nightmares, and everything else notwithstanding.
Harry cooked himself breakfast and stayed until Severus headed down to his lab for work. After that, he went home, though he didn't end up seeing Hermione until she got off of work that night. "Harry!" she said as soon as she came home. "You're back! I wasn't sure when you were coming back. So, you and Severus made up? That's great! I'm happy for you!" She spoke quickly, in typical Hermione-like fashion, without letting Harry get in a word in edgewise before coming up and giving him a hug. "How did it happen? What did you say to get through to him?"
Harry was finally allowed to speak now as Hermione finished talking. "Er, I sort of yelled at him," he said. "I was so frustrated that he was giving up on us because he was scared. I forced him to hear me out, and then… well, I sort of him kissed him. We had sex and then we talked. He's stopped fighting me now, so I think that's a good sign." A smile crossed his face, having a feeling that this time he wouldn't have to worry about Severus not contacting him.
Hermione paused for a second before speaking. "Well, you're obviously fine, and it's good that you two made up," she said. "You didn't have an attack or anything last night, did you?"
Harry shrugged his shoulders. He knew that she only asked because she cared, and Severus hadn't been wrong last night when he said he might not be ready for this yet. Harry himself had wondered that briefly before he stopped caring because he wanted it so badly. "Well, I did have a little pain afterward, but nothing that bad," he said. "Severus helped me through it, and that might have also been due to all of the anxiety before I even got there and the yelling when I did get there. And I woke up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, but it helped to have Severus there."
Hermione smiled at him before putting a hand on his shoulder. "Well, it all worked out, and good thing he was there to help you," she said. "I suppose sex is no different than any other exercise, and you've been working out fairly regularly with no discomfort. You're probably right. It was probably just built up being anxious about going to see him, and arguing before hand." She rattled off the words without taking barely a breath, and Harry had to wonder if her mouth had trouble sometimes keeping up with her brain. He was glad that she agreed with him, though. That probably was why. "I'm just glad to see you smiling again."
Harry smiled back at her. "I'm glad you agree, Hermione, and thanks," he said. "Oh, and er… I'm sorry about not leaving a note or anything and just… not coming home, especially after everything, you must have been worried, so… I"m sorry." He really did feel bad about that, because it wasn't his intention to worry her. He would imagine what happened if she hadn't come home, but she had Draco, and he hadn't been technically seeing Severus at the time. Of course, she was not spending the night with him and certainly wasn't going to do so in Malfoy Manor.
Hermione's smile never left her face. "Don't worry about it," she said, "though I do appreciate the apology. Everything turned out fine, and that's what matters. I just thought it was a bit… odd, that's all. Now, at least I know where you'll be." Her smile turned into a smirk, and Harry couldn't help it, but a light blush crossed his face. After that, the conversation turned to dinner, which Harry had already started, and Hermione's new job in the Magical Law Enforcement Department, which she was adjusting to very well. She also talked about how things with Draco were going, which was quite well. Maybe things weren't perfect, but for Harry, they were better, and he was more than okay with that.
The next day passed without incident, except for a Floo Call from Severus asking if he'd want to have lunch together the next day. Harry was more than happy to say yes. He was just glad that the older man was not pushing him away anymore, and any excuse to see him was a good one in his mind. Besides, he wanted to make up for the past week or so of not seeing each other at all. He understood that Severus worked, though, and he also understood that the man was a workaholic. That was why lunch was fine for him, and then maybe Severus would allow him to spend the night again. He had a feeling that wouldn't be such an easy thing for him to agree to. Harry just wanted to spend more time with him, especially since he was starting work on Monday and he was quite nervous about that.
The next day, Hermione came through the Floo in a rush around lunchtime. "Hermione, what's the matter?" he asked, seeing her look a bit frazzled.
"I forgot my money at home today," she said. "I didn't make myself anything this morning, so I was going to just go and grab something quick from the diner nearby, but… no money, either Muggle or Wizarding." She gave a heavy sigh. "The bag was in my other robes, so I'm going to make something real quick before heading back to work."
Harry just chuckled at her. Typical Hermione… "You have an hour for lunch, calm down," he said. Severus was coming over soon, but they could stay here in the living room or go into his room, so it wasn't as if she would be bothering them at all. "Just take your time." She was always in a rush when it came to work-related things; for her, there were never enough hours in the day.
His bushy-haired friend shook her head. "No, I'm only taking a short break for lunch, I have a lot of work to do," she said. He highly doubted it was as much as she said, and even if it was, chances are she only had more because she was putting it on herself. "I haven't been doing this job for that long, so I have to work harder than everyone else." She walked into the kitchen, raising her voice so that he could still hear her. "I have to make a good impression, and you don't make your way up the ladder, so to speak, by sitting on the sidelines and only doing what is asked of you. You do it by going above what is asked, by doing more and doing it better than anyone else."
Harry shrugged his shoulders, not that she could see that, of course. He had to admit that she had a point. He had never accomplished anything but sitting around and watching. It made him think about starting his own job next Monday. He was about to respond when a moment later, the Floo activated again. Turning around, he saw Severus stepping out the fireplace and dusting himself off. A bright smile crossed his face as he looked at the older man. "Severus! How was your morning?"
Severus looked up at him. "Productive," he said, coming over and sitting next to him on the couch. He drew Harry closer to him, leaning down and covering his lips with his own. Harry eagerly melted into him, wrapping his arms around his lover as Severus slowly drew away. "How was yours?"
Harry shrugged. "Boring," he said. "Just going through some of my Healers books so that I can try and be prepared for my first day of work." He gestured briefly to the books sitting on the table in front of the couch before putting his arm right back where it belonged, around his lover.
"I'm sure you will be more than satisfactory," Severus said. That was a high compliment coming from him, though Hermione had said very much the same thing the night before.
At that moment, the bushy-haired witch rushed back into the living room, stuffing a sandwich into her robes. "I thought I heard another voice," she said. "Severus, how are you?"
Severus gave Hermione a nod. "I am fine, Hermione," he said. "And yourself?" The exchange sounded a bit stiff and formal on both of their parts, but Harry had no room to complain at the moment. The two of them had never really had a problem with each other. It was Ron that annoyed Severus.
"Great, thank you," she said. "I'm glad that you two made up." She gave them both a small smile, though it dropped from her face quickly as she eyed Severus. "Hopefully there will be no more… bumps in the road." Harry just stared at her, a bit shocked that she had done something like that - not that he didn't appreciate her concern, of course, but… "Now, I really do need to get back to work. See you later, Harry, Severus." She rushed over to the Floo and in a moment, she was gone.
"I can't believe she said that," Harry said. "I mean, I can, but…"
"She's just concerned, I'm sure," Severus said. "I imagine I caused you a considerable amount of pain due to my actions. I do apologize about that."
Harry smiled up at him. "I don't want to talk about that," he said. "It's in the past. We're over it. I just want to… move forward. I have enough trouble letting go of the past as it is." He was still plagued with nightmares from the horrors he suffered at Voldemort's hands. "I appreciate that, though." Besides, he understood why Severus had felt the way he had - at least on some level. He was determined to prove Severus wrong because Harry knew he deserved love just like everyone else. He was determined not to let this relationship fail, at least not without a fight.
"Did you have a bad night?" Severus asked. Harry snuggled in closer to him as if the older man's warmth could chase away his demons. He knew that wasn't possible, but it helped. "We don't have to talk about it. I was just inquiring."
"It's fine," Harry said. "I haven't had a full night's sleep in a long time, but that's normal. Even if I don't have the nightmares, I still don't have an easy sleep." He laid his head against his lover. He knew that Severus wouldn't ask, just as Harry wouldn't ask about his nightmares, too. Hermione had always wanted to talk about it because that's how she worked through her issues. That's why she went to those therapy groups, the one where she and Draco had reconnected.
Everyone wasn't like that, though. He didn't like talking about it. Besides, Harry knew what he had nightmares about, or at the very least he could imagine. Severus had a long list of things that he had done in the name of the Greater Good, and he figured that the guilt probably would never leave. Harry wouldn't ask, but maybe one day, he would want to tell him about that - and about the scars that littered his body that he had seen the other night.
Severus pressed a kiss into Harry's hair, and for a moment, neither said anything. "I was wondering if you wish to come over this weekend," he said, looking down at him.
Harry looked up at him and smiled. "Mmm, that sounds wonderful," he said, drawing the older man into a kiss. Severus quickly took control of the kiss, tightening his hand around Harry's waist. He moaned into the kiss, running his hands down Severus's chest. He quickly went for the buttons on the front of Severus's robes as he felt the Potions Master move his hands underneath Harry's t-shirt. He moved one of his legs, and repositioned himself so that he was straddling his lover.
Severus ran his hands underneath Harry's shirt, running them up his back as Harry dug his nails into the older man's shoulders. Severus moaned into their kiss before slowly pulling away. Harry let out a moan of disappointment. "We should stop," Severus said, his breathing slightly laboured.
"You don't want to stop, and neither do I," Harry said, rocking his hips into him, grinding their half-hard cocks together. "You want me."
Severus let out a moan, kissing him again before slowly pulling away. "Obviously, yes, but I worry that you are not healthy enough yet," he said. "Maybe this weekend, but I do not want to hurt you because of urges we can both control."
Harry wanted to argue with that because damn it, he didn't want to control it. He knew that Severus had a point, but he agreed that his attack had likely not been because of the sex - or not just the sex, but everything that had led up to it that night in addition to the sex. Besides, if they did have sex again he didn't want it to be as rushed as it was the first time. "Mmm, if I'm good, you mean?" Harry said, running a finger down Severus's chest.
A light chuckle escaped the older man's lips. "I think we both know that's never going to happen," he said.
"And I think we both know that you like it that way," Harry said, leaning in and giving Severus a soft, lingering kiss.
"Insolent brat," Severus said, though his voice held no bite to it.
"Stubborn old man," he said, and this time, it was Severus who drew him into a kiss. He felt the man's large hands on his back, holding him close as the Potions Master slowly broke the kiss.
"When you go to start work, perhaps you can ask your Healer if you are healthy enough for sex," Severus said, changing the subject. "That might avoid all of this if you get a clean bill of health." Harry nodded, agreeing to do so. There was no point in arguing about that with him right now. The man was stubborn, and this wasn't a fight that Harry needed to have right now. He would ask Healer Brown about it on Monday, and in the meantime - maybe this weekend. He couldn't wait.
It was later in the evening by the time Hermione got home, as today was her and Draco's therapy sessions. Due to work, she was going down to once a week, and although some might find it unnecessary for her to still go to them, it helped her. She and Draco held back afterward, as her boyfriend pulled her close, leaning down for a kiss. She felt herself melt into him a bit before he pulled away. "Did you want to get a drink or something to eat?" he asked her.
Hermione gave him a small smile and shook her head. "Not tonight, sorry," she said. "I've had such a long day. Perhaps we can spend the day together this Saturday, like last week?" She had enjoyed that since they didn't get to see too much of either during the week, both of them had busy jobs. Draco had even missed the group session last week because of work. She felt bad for not wanting to go out, but she was so tired right now. She just wanted to curl up on the couch for a bit before going to bed.
"That sounds wonderful," he said, giving her a rare, soft smile. "I have to work Sunday, but Saturday works for me." He leaned down to give her another soft kiss.
Hermione knew quite well that Harry might not be around this weekend. She assumed, though she couldn't be certain, that he would probably be spending the weekend with Severus again. She was probably not going to mention that to Draco just yet, though. They hadn't been dating that long, not really, though they had become close for a while before they had officially started dating. Draco obviously thought they were ready. She didn't think so. At least, she wasn't.
"So, Saturday then?" He asked, earning him and a smile back from Hermione.
After sharing another kiss, the two of them parted ways. Hermione headed home to find Harry curled up on the couch, going through one of his Healer's books. He looked up as she entered. "Evening, Hermione," he said. "How was work? Wait, let me guess - busy because you always have more work to do."
Hermione just rolled her eyes. "I know what I'm doing," she said. "I want to succeed, and I know how to do that." She had taken off her robe before Apparating and now stood in only a simple skirt and a button-up blouse. She walked over, and sat next to him the couch, setting the robe which she had been holding, on the table in front of them. "I thought you'd go out with Draco tonight."
The bushy-haired witch shook her head. "No, I'm exhausted," she admitted. She could feel it now that she had sat down, that kind of tired that you felt in your bones even when your mind still felt like it wanted to race. Her body was done for the day, and she knew it wouldn't be too long before her mind joined it, too. "Listen, can I ask you something?" Harry nodded, closing the book and setting it on the table in front of them. "I know this is personal, and you don't have to answer, but… This past weekend, when you and Severus… slept together, was it like a spur of the moment thing or were you sure?"
"A bit of both, actually," Harry answered, and the look on his face said he was wondering why she was asking. "I mean, there had been so much built up tension, but I wanted it. I was sure." The dark-haired man paused for a moment before speaking again. "Why do you ask? Is there something you want to talk about?" He gave her an inquisitive look.
Hermione gave a sigh. "Okay, this weekend, Draco and I were spending the day together, and we came back here," she said. "You were gone, and we started kissing… I could tell that Draco wanted to go a bit farther, but I'm just not." She didn't really have any close girlfriends besides Ginny, and she wasn't sure talking to her about Draco was going to the best idea. Besides, she was away at training right now. Harry was here, and she knew she could talk to Harry about anything. "Or I don't think I am anyway. Am I overthinking this? I mean, I know I do that. It's just…"
She took a deep breath. "Ron and I always went so fast. The war was over, and we were just glad to be alive." Harry nodded, and she knew that he would understand that. "I know you never wanted to hear about it, because you know, it's Ron and I, and we're like family to you, but… We always went pretty fast, and never gave much thought to anything else. I'm… afraid that I rush into things with Draco that the same thing will happen. Is that crazy? Am I thinking too much?"
Harry just smiled at her. "No, it's not crazy, and you always think too much," he said, earning a chuckle from Hermione. "You got out of a long relationship that didn't end that well, and you're a bit gun-shy, so to speak." He shrugged his shoulders. "I get it; really, I do. I'm not an expert, far from it actually, but I would say to remember that your relationship with Draco is going to be different from your relationship with Ron. They're very different people, Hermione, which is the point, right?"
Hermione nodded, knowing that he was right on that point. It was the point. She had a very good feeling about how things with Draco were going so far, and she didn't want to screw that up. "I think you should just… stop thinking for a bit, and just do what feels right," he told her. "If you feel it's right to wait, then wait. He understood, didn't he?"
Hermione nodded, giving Harry a small smile. "Yeah, you're right," she said. "He did understand. I know it's frustrating because we don't get that much time alone, but I do feel that waiting is the best thing for now. I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that I'm not overthinking things." She leaned into. "Thank you." It was a good feeling to know that she had someone to talk to no matter what.
After that, the conversation turned to Harry's first day of work, which was Monday. "You'll be fine," she counseled him after he said he was nervous about it. "Just go in with an open mind, and be ready to learn. You're there to train because you don't know it and because you're capable, not because you know everything right now. You'll be fine. They wouldn't have passed you if you couldn't do it." He thanked her. They both headed to bed soon afterward, but Hermione was sure that they both felt just a little bit better after talking to each other.