Flash Drive
The night after my lunch with Alice I worked on stuff until nearly two in the morning. And even though I did that, I was able to drag myself out of bed at nine in the morning to go with Alice to join the gym. We got everything set up and we even saw one of their personal trainers.
Apparently, I would have to lose around forty pounds to be a size ten. I nearly gagged at that number. The trainer thought it wasn't that much. When you had trouble taking five pounds off, it was. She thought I could lose the weight by Thanksgiving and even encouraged me to me go for a lower size. Maybe a six, which would have been around sixty pounds, if not more.
I told her first things first. I didn't even want to think about sixty pounds. We would have to see how it all went.
After setting up a time the next day to meet Alice at the gym I had a meeting with a client. It wasn't something I was looking forward to. The woman was a real bitch and if it weren't for the fact that she paid a lot of my bills than she would have been the one I told off.
In a hot second.
I was actually fantasizing about all the names I would call her while she talked about things she didn't understand in the least. Like fake plastic ho. Or, a blow-up doll with an IQ lower than that of the rat she carries around in her purse that she calls a dog. Gold digger also came to mind. She must have been twelve and her husband eighty. She certainly wasn't married to him for the sex.
But, I kept my mouth shut like a good girl. Maybe that was one thing on my list I should just forget about doing. I decided though that I should just wait and see. If Lauren wasn't careful, it might just happen without my permission.
After finally finishing up with the stupid cow I went to the bookstore and picked up Interview with a Vampire. I knew this was something on my list that I could cross off quickly.
I read a chapter before starting my healthy dinner of lemon grilled chicken on a salad of iceberg lettuce. I was on my way to crossing another thing off my list. I just had to keep at it.
Hey, I had to start somewhere. I knew not all of my goals were going to be as easy as throwing myself at Edward.
I almost burnt my chicken thinking about Edward.
"Stop that. Work on me first," I scolded myself, flipping my hair over my shoulder. "Me first for once."
After dinner, I did some more work and paid some bills before I made a playlist for the gym. It was kind of funny the amount of music I had from the nineties. A lot of it reminded me of high school or early college. It was a good time for me. After that very brief thought I compiled a list that I named 'High school happiness.' They weren't all exactly from high school, some before or after, but it would be great to work out to. The whole thing was almost an hour and a half long.
I read another chapter of Interview before finally crawling into bed. I was going to meet Alice at three to work out for an hour or so. I knew I was going to need the rest.
"I'm going to DIE," I wheezed after ten minutes on the treadmill. To my credit, I had already done the bike and the evil step machine of fucking death. It sucked though that I still had to do something called a rowing machine and some weights. "I'm going to die at a gym. This is not how I wanted to die. I wanted to die while eating pie or something."
Alice laughed.
Bitch.
"Just don't think about it!" She said from beside me, looking all adorable in her workout gear. If I didn't love Alice so much I probably would have wanted to kill her peppy ass. No one should be that happy while working out. "Let's talk about something else. Oh! I meant to tell you, Jasper offered to help you cross something off your list today if you wanted."
"What's that?" I said, cursing mentally at the stitch in my side. I was trying to work on my foul language but it wasn't working all that well at this point. Well, one step at a time I guess.
"He was wondering if you'd like to bake a cake."
"You're serious?" I laughed sarcastically. "My first day at the gym and your husband wants to fatten me up with frickin cake?"
"No, no. Apparently, it's some kind of healthy cake recipe he wants to add into a new cookbook and he wants to see if 'normal people' could make it. Made with Splenda or something and it has prunes in it."
"Prunes?" I frowned a little bit.
"I said the same thing," she made a little face, "but he said they were sweet with a lot of fiber and that they go well with chocolate. Would you help him out so I don't have to make it?"
I laughed, shaking my head. "I see how it is. I'm actually helping you out, am I?"
"I scratch your back, you scratch mine." She winked. "You know how these things work out."
After our little conversation, we went on with the rest of our workout. I wish I could have said that it got easier as we went along, but that would have been total bullshit. Once I was safely back in the showers, I leaned against the wall and prayed that my legs would support me the rest of the night. They burned like a mother. Alice came out of the showers looking perfect, of course.
I came out looking like a drowned rat in its flannel pajamas. "I should run home and get changed," I said, holding up my arms and looking down at my outfit.
"Nah! You're perfect that way. Besides, it's just going to be us and Jasper. He always cooks in his pajama pants. I'll even change into mine if it makes you feel better."
"We'll have a sleepover without the sleeping over part." I smiled at her, walking with her back to her little yellow Porsche. My car looked pretty sad next to it. But mine was a hybrid and hers was a sports car. Big difference. "Yeah, okay. Oh, what are we doing for dinner? Want me to pick up something?"
"Jazz is making homemade pizzas. All healthy just for us," she informed me.
"Sounds good," I answered as I slid into my car, throwing my gym bag into the back. "I'll meet you there."
I hooked my mp3 player into radio, flicking it onto my new workout playlist. I turned it up on high, bobbing my head to TLC. No Scrubs was all over the radio my junior-senior year of high school. I could still sing the entire thing from memory. I didn't even get through the entire song before we got back to Alice's place.
"What are you listening to?" She asked when she got out of her car with a small laugh.
"My gym music. All songs from when we were in school," I informed her, pulling my mp3 player out and showing it to her.
"Bring it in! I want a copy," she clapped her hands, leading me up to the house like a little kid.
After eating our pizzas that were covered in sun-dried tomatoes, onions, garlic, sweet peppers, and basil which were amazing, Alice put on the music playlist, blasting it as loud as she could.
"You know who you forgot to put on here?" Alice said, dancing around to Sugar Ray. "Spice Girls."
"Boo!" Jasper and I said at the same time, making Alice frowned. She loved them back in school. She even dragged me to see that horrid movie, Spice world. Alice wasn't pleased, especially since we kept it up until we got to the kitchen.
Jasper got all the ingredients out and preheated the oven for me. Apparently, he was going to direct me but not actually cook. I was sure that it would end in some sort of disaster. I wasn't sure what, but I knew it would end very badly.
"Okay, first take your butter," Jasper began, pointing at my bowl.
"Because butter is so healthy," I muttered under my breath.
"Shut it, woman. Now take your Splenda and cream it together until it's nice and smooth," Jasper laughed at my sassy attitude. "Blend the eggs one at a time with a mixer before adding the vanilla."
"Yes, master," I sassed him again, making him roll his eyes. I blew him a kiss, cracking an egg into the bowl before turning on the mixer. Then his phone rang.
"Alright, slave, just add the other egg then the vanilla until it's well blended," he said before picking up his cell. "Hello?" Jasper yelled over the loud machine. "Hey, man. What's up?"
I raised an eyebrow at Alice who was sitting across from us on the island. She just shrugged.
"I don't know. Let me ask her," I heard Jasper say just as I turned off the mixer. "Hey, Bella. What kind of flowers do you like?"
I think I could have been across the room and heard who was yelling on the other side of the line. "You douche! You total fucking douche! Don't do that!" I heard Edward scream.
"Oh, my god," I breathed, instantly turning red. "I don't want flowers."
"She doesn't want flowers," Jasper said into the phone.
"Jasper!" Alice and I cried at the same time. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "Tell him that he shouldn't feel the need to send me flowers."
"You shouldn't feel the need to, apparently," Jasper said into the phone. He pulled the mouthpiece away. "He says that he doesn't want you to think he used you."
"I don't," I assured him. "I don't want him to feel that way either and-"
Alice snatched the phone away from Jasper and began to walk out of the kitchen. "Look, Edward, Bella had an amazing time and yes, I know you're not that kind of guy. She's not that kind of girl. But Bella recently went through some trauma and she needs to work on herself some."
Apparently turning thirty was traumatic. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Alice," I whined as I followed her out of the kitchen. I felt like I was back in high school. I knew from personal experience that there was no way I was going to get that phone away from her though.
"I think it would be a fantastic idea that you two get to know each other better but she has some stuff to deal with first. I know you understand that part. You've dealt with some of the same things. Aw, sweetie, you're so sweet. Just give the girl some time," Alice sighed, pulling the phone away from her face.
"He says he feels the need to at the very least explain himself." I just shook my head. "Edward, you don't need to. Okay. Okay. I'll talk to you later, honey. Alright, bye."
"Ugh, he probably thinks I'm a bitch," I cried, putting my face in my hands.
"Not at all. He feels awful," Alice patted my shoulder. "I think you two should at least get to know each other."
I shrugged, frowning at her, "I'm too embarrassed at this point."
"Are we baking this cake or what?" Jasper shouted from the kitchen. I took that chance to escape, going into the kitchen to finish the 'healthy' cake.
After adding flour, baking powder, baking soda, chopped up prunes, and cocoa we stuck the cake in the blazing hot oven so we could start on the 'lower fat' cream cheese frosting. Alice cranked the song back up, dancing to the music while I whipped up the white soft cream cheese. The only sounds that could be heard over all the noise we were making were the loud plopping of the rain falling outside.
"A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly..." Alice began and I just laughed.
"Ugh, new song please," Jasper complained. Alice rolled her eyes, singing loudly as she went to change the song to something he would approve of.
When No doubt came on, she squealed. "I'm just a girl. I guess I'm some kind of freak!" Alice said, hopping around like a maniac on crack. Where did she get that much energy? I needed to find her source and raid it, or something. "OH! BELLA IT'S RAINING!"
"You're a regular weatherman," I teased her.
"No! Let's go dance in the rain. Come on, we've got some great tunes and it's not lightning or anything. I'll go with you."
I weighed my options. I had my workout clothes I could change into and she was right. This would be a perfect chance. Once we got to October or November it would be just too cold to until the spring. So, I nodded, smiling as I walked after her. Just as we got into her backyard Smashing Pumpkins came on. I laughed, headbanging along with Alice.
"DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I'M STILL JUST A RAT IN CAGE!" We yelled along with the lyrics before we grabbed each other's hands and began to jump up and down. Jasper stood in the doorway and laughed at us as we got soaked.
That is until we heard a loud bang and the smoke alarm going off in the kitchen. We all ran back inside to find smoke pouring from the oven.
"What the hell?" Jasper yelled as he got the fire extinguisher to put it out.
"The cake exploded!" Alice laughed.
And she was right. The entire oven was covered in chocolate and prunes. It looked so gross.
"It didn't do that last time," Jasper scratched his head after getting something to take it out. Both Alice and I burst into laughter at his expression.
"Well, I think the cake may have to wait," Alice finally said after swallowing her giggles. "At least you scratched something off the list tonight."
"I'm going to get changed," I informed Jasper and patted him on the back soothingly as he whimpered at his messed up oven. "And I'll help you clean up, I promise."
After an hour of working on the oven, it was finally clean and I headed home. Despite the whole Edward phone call, I was in an amazingly good mood. I wasn't sure if it was because of the company or the food or the workout but I didn't care.
When I arrived home there was a surprise waiting for me. A flash drive was hanging by a ribbon on my doorknob. It didn't take a genius to figure out where it came from. I took it off and headed inside, going straight to my computer.
There was only one file on it. It was a word file named 'I'm Sorry.'
Bella,
I realize that you don't want flowers or anything like that, but I felt the need to explain myself in a note or something. I figured this was the best way to do so.
I've been with four women my entire life. Most of them I dated for six months or longer. I'm not the kind of man to do something like that, just jump in headlong, but I couldn't help myself. I just want to make sure that you knew that I wasn't using you because you weren't exactly sober. I didn't mean to take advantage of you.
I would love to have the chance to be your friend and to get to know you better, but I will wait until you are comfortable and ready.
You said that you weren't beautiful. I hope in time you realize that that isn't true. You're extremely beautiful. And extremely sexy.
Sorry, I don't want to make you feel awkward or embarrassed, but it's true.
Please know that when you are ready, I will be your friend if you allow me.
Edward
I bit my lip and sighed. I almost wished that he was some sort of horrible asshole so I could hate him and move on. But I just felt like a royal bitch and more than a little stupid since he was so nice.
Work on yourself, I said in my head. If it's meant to be, it'll be.
I sighed once again. I hoped to God that was true.
For the following two weeks, I worked, of course, but I also went to the gym every single day either by myself or with Alice. I hung out with Jasper and Alice a lot as well. I ate healthy, moving me towards my skinnier goal and my cooking goal. I also finished Interview with a Vampire. It was better than the movie but I couldn't help but imagine Brad Pitt as Louis.
Something about brooding vampires was just hot. I don't know why. It just was.
Besides the book though, I didn't cross anything else off my list. One night when I was all alone and there was nothing on TV, I typed out the list on the computer. I needed it to be fresh in my mind. I gave it a pretty font and even highlighted the eight things I had already done. I printed out two copies, one for me and one for the very determined Alice. She probably already had the damn thing memorized though. I think she looked at it more often than I did.
Two weeks after the exploding cake Alice called me all excited. "How would you like to go to a concert?"
"Depends on who is playing," I answered, perching the phone against my shoulder as I worked on a pets store company's website.
"Jimmy Buffett!" She squealed.
"Like Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett?" I said, finishing up my work and clicking off the internet browser. I knew I wouldn't really be able to work with Alice talking to me anyway.
"Yup! Rosalie, you remember Jasper's older bitchy sister, right?"
"How could I forget?" I snorted. Few people were that beautiful or that mean in this world. She was kind of unforgettable.
"Well, she works for the tourism office and she scored like six free tickets. I remember how your dad used to play him all the time, especially when we cooked out."
"Oh yeah," I smiled. "Good times."
"So, what do you say? We'll cook out beforehand then get liquored up on tequila while dancing to some classics?" She said very excitedly. "I couldn't think of a better way to pop your concert cherry. I heard his were some of the best."
"Okay," I agreed, making her squeal loudly. "When?"
"This Saturday. We'll eat beforehand and then meet Rose and her husband at Pizza Hut Park."
"Is she still evil? Should I wear a garlic necklace?" I asked with a snicker.
"Shit, only if you bring me one too. She still doesn't like me very much most of the time," Alice sighed, sounding a little bit frustrated. "I don't know how Emmett can stand it. He's such a nice guy."
I had never met Emmett before, but if she was still the Rosalie of my memory than any person was nicer. But, I had to be nice myself. "Well, she can't be all that horrible if she's offering concert tickets."
"That is true," she agreed. "Beforehand let's make some cheeseburgers," Alice said, changing the subject.
"With Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes," I said, quoting one of his most famous songs.
"And cold draft beer, baby! Come over here around three. We'll grill. It'll be fun. Actually, I'm going to be around town beforehand so why don't I pick you up and then we can drop you off after the concert?"
"Sure thing," I agreed. "Sounds like a great time. I really need something to look forward to."
"Don't worry, Bella! I promise I will help you make this one of the best years of your life!" Alice said enthusiastically.
I sure hoped she was right.
Why did the cake explode? I'm going to say maybe because Bella put too much baking soda and powder in there while Jasper wasn't looking. But, who knows. Maybe it was the prunes. They knew it was unnatural and self-destructive.
Who remembers Jimmy Buffett?
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