Not interested

"Um, hi," I replied to the massive man standing beside me. He was dressed in jeans and a white tee shirt, not really going with the theme. He looked more greaser than gangster.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Of all places, I was getting hit on at a gay club by a man? Really? I could have handled a woman and not been surprised. But a man? It instantly made me annoyed.

"No, thanks," I replied, turning my attention back to Edward.

"Why not?" He asked. Who asks that? That was just rude. When someone said no, they meant no. They didn't have to give a reason.

"Because I'm not interested."

"Interested in me or the drink?" He asked in a teasing voice. I frowned, ignoring the question. "I'm Felix. You're Bella?"

"I'm waiting for my date to return," I somewhat lied to him. I was here with Alice, she just wasn't my date. He didn't need to know that.

"You're not a lesbian," he stated plainly. I turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"And how exactly do you figure that?"

"You've been drooling over that pretty boy playing piano since he came in. I'm not stupid."

"If you're not gay, why are you at a gay club?" I asked instead of acknowledging his last sentence. I was not drooling. And he was stupid for bothering me when I obviously didn't want to be bothered.

"I like to keep all my options open. Play both sides of the field, as it were," he smirked at me and I felt a hand slid down my back. My skin prickled with annoyance. "And you're one option I'd like to explore."

"Well, I'm not an option you'll explore anytime soon. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm waiting for someone to return and trying to enjoy the show."

"Look," Felix all but growled, grabbing my arm. "All I wanted to do is get to know you a little bit better in private."

"I think the lady said no," a familiar Italian voice said. I turned slightly to see Aro, the dance instructor from my gym, standing there with his hands on his flapper dressed covered hips. "Now release her."

Felix the fucker, the name I have dubbed him in my head, scoffed. "Yeah, whatever princess."

"Let her go or I'll be forced to use violence," he warned. If I wasn't so worried I would have laughed as well. Aro didn't exactly look that scary. Maybe crazy, but not scary.

"Fuck off."

Aro removed his hand from my arm, twisted it backward, and then punched him straight in the face. All within a matter of seconds. My jaw probably hit the floor the same time Felix did.

"I did warn you. Security!"

Two very large men came up, frowning at the man on the floor. "Yeah, boss?"

"This man was bothering this woman. Please make sure to escort him out. If he refuses to leave then call the police," Aro said, coming to my side as they dragged the now passed out man out of the club. "Are you okay, my dear?"

I just opened and closed my mouth several times before finally swallowing heavily. "Thank you."

"Of course. We can't have scum like that around here. Besides, we have to stick together now don't we?"

I nodded stupidly. Alice walked up just then, her eyes wide. She had switched from a beer to something in a cup. "Everything okay?"

"Just had a little trouble with another patron," Aro told Alice before turning to me. "Now, we have a self-defense class at the gym. I want you to sign up on Monday, yes? I'll help you make sure that something like that doesn't happen again."

"Thank you," I breathed again as he walked away.

"What the hell?" Alice asked. I shrugged and took her cup, taking a big drink. I had already finished my other drink and now I really needed another.

"I'm going to step outside and get a breath. I'll buy you another drink when I come back inside," I said, pushing my way through the crowds without an answer. I needed a moment to cool down. My entire body felt too warm, my stomach in knots. I kind of doubted that the liquor would help but I couldn't imagine it hurting much.

I walked away from the front of the building, going to the side. I leaned against the bricks and closing my eyes as I took another big drink.

"It's not safe for you to be outside alone," Edward said quietly, his hands in his pockets as he walked towards me.

"Apparently it's not safe to be inside either," I said sarcastically, finishing the drink and putting on the ground. "Shouldn't you go back in there?"

"I finished the first show. There is a two-hour break and then another show," he shrugged. "Are you okay?" Edward asked as he came to stand in front of me. "Everything just happened so fast. One minute you were fine and the next you're out here."

"I'm fine. He was just an idiot."

"You've got a bruise on your arm," Edward sighed, carefully reaching out and touching my skin. He was right. There was a thumbprint, deep and purple in my forearm above my elbow.

"I bruise easy," I reasoned. I cleared my throat, searching for another topic of discussion. "You look amazing tonight."

"You're one to talk. My god. Honestly, are you trying to kill me?" He smirked, leaning against the wall beside me. "You could have warned me."

"Warned you of what exactly?" I laughed, looking over at him curiously.

"Hm, let's see. That you've obviously lost weight. What? Three sizes?"

"Two," I rolled my eyes.

"It's a major change from your appearance at the concert. And the hair."

"Don't get used to the hair," I laughed again, pushing against the wall and facing him. "It's only for tonight."

"Oh... Thank God..." He smirked again, "I mean, oh really? Why is that?"

I laughed, smacking his shoulder. He grabbed my arm, pulling me to him and giving me a hug. It was comfortable and warm, so soft. It was what I needed. I laid my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and just taking a deep breath as his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Don't like the blond?"

"I told you, I prefer brunettes."

"I thought your favorite color was red. What if I dyed it red?" I asked him, looking up at him. I chuckled at his lost expression, his eyes foggy with thoughts. Such a guy thing to do. "I'm going back to brunette."

"So, I've always wondered. Do blondes have more fun?" Edward asked with a chuckle.

"Don't know. Only been one since this morning. So far, not so good," I rolled my eyes as I looked up at him. He was gazing down at me, his expression intense.

"Let me see if I can change that for you," he breathed just as his lips touched my own.

His lips tasted like milk and honey. So delicious and sweet. His fingers wound around the back of my neck as his other hand rested on my waist, pulling me closer to him. It felt like if he could have pulled me into himself he would have. His tongue slid leisurely over my top lip before nudging my mouth open. It curled around my own, taunting me with pleasure I could not have.

His hand slid down my waist to my knee, pulling it up around his waist as he twisted us around. He pressed me against the wall, his kissing more powerful by the moment. My arms slowly wrapped around his neck, enjoying his taste. It was so good.

But forbidden fruit always tastes the best.

I pulled away from his mouth, sliding my hands down his chest. "Don't do that."

"Why?" He breathed, leaning down to kiss my neck. It was so hard not to give in. I wanted to so bad.

"I told you. I need to work on myself before I'm ready to be in a serious relationship."

"I want to help you. Let me. Let me show you how beautiful you are."

I pushed away from and Edward flopped against the wall with a heavy heave. "I'm not ready."

"What are you afraid of?" He asked. "What's holding you back? Bella, you flirt with me. You tease me. You kiss me like that. Then you hold me at arm's length."

"I'm sorry," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck as I turned. I couldn't face him. "I need to be happy with me. I need to give you more than a work in progress. You wouldn't understand."

I began to walk away. I wanted to find Alice and just go home to cry.

"I don't understand? Ha. Yeah, okay."

"No. You wouldn't." How could he? He was perfect.

"I've lost a hundred pounds and I've kept it off for three years. I think I would fucking understand better than most."

I turned to look at him slowly. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I know about working on myself. I know what it's like to not like yourself the way you are. But let me tell you something. Losing weight and playing with your hair isn't going to change that. You're going to have to look at a mirror and see the good things. Because Bella, there will always be bad things. There will be things you hate. Things you want to change. I don't know what trauma you went through or whatever, but I know I want to help you. You can't do something like that on your own."

I shook my head, "I don't understand. I mean, you're..."

"I'm what Bella? You know what I see when I look in the mirror?"

I shook my head slowly, biting my bottom lip. "No."

"I still see someone who struggles with themselves. I have to watch everything that goes into my mouth. When I came to America, I was just a normal kid. I had friends. And then I was thrown here where I'm nothing but a red-haired freak with a weird accent. I was totally isolated. All I had was my aunts. And all they wanted to do was feed me. My happiest memories as a teenager are centered around food. And they told me how talented I was. How I'd be a star. So I went to Los Angeles to try to get a career in music. I got one audition. One. And do you know what they said to me?"

I shook my head, unable to speak.

"They told me a fat ass would never get a job. And they were right. So, Emmett asked Rosalie to beg Jasper to let me have a job with him. I stayed in Los Angeles until I couldn't take it anymore. I was surrounded by all these pretty people and I wanted to die."

"Edward-"

"So, I lost weight. And I loved myself even less afterward. It wasn't until I started finding worth in the things around me that I started to care about who I was. I mean really care. And I could not do that alone."

"I'm sorry," I breathed out.

"Bella, I have been... drawn... to you since the first moment I saw you. You were just as drawn to me. You still are. You're fighting it. I'm a patient man. I really am. But, I can let go. Tell me if I need to let go."

"I don't know," I shook my head, feeling tears streaking down my cheeks. "I'm not worth this trouble."

"See! That's the problem, Bella. You totally fucking are. You are breathtaking in every single fucking way and you don't see it! I wouldn't be at your beck and call if you weren't."

He shoved himself off the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Edward," I whimpered as he walked away from me, turning the corner. He stopped, straightening his back.

"Call me when you're willing to see yourself. And we can be friends or we can be lovers. I don't like being toyed with, even if it's by you."

And Edward walked away.

I sobbed, leaning against the wall. "Fuck, fucker, fuck! ARGH!"

"Bella," Alice said quietly, turning the corner to look at me. She was frowning. And I could tell by a single look that she heard that whole thing. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, rubbing my face with my arm. "I'm fine. Just frustrated."

"Why don't we go home? I know you're hurting right now."

"Hurting?" I all but shouted at her. "Really? I'm not the one hurting. Okay. God, I'm a selfish bitch. A stupid fucking selfish bitch and you're worried about me."

She shrank back slightly. "Bella-"

"Let's just go home. I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

Alice nodded slightly as she followed behind me to her car. I got in without a word and we drove back to my home in silence. Once we pulled into a parking space, Alice looked at me as she touched my hand. "Bella, I know it's hard but Edward-"

"I need to be alone for a while," I said as I got out of the car before she could finish what she was saying. I didn't want to hear anything else.

When I got to my apartment, I checked my email. I knew it was stupid. All that was in there was spam mail forwarded from my dad.

I went to my bedroom, slamming the door like I child. I knew I was throwing a temper tantrum. I knew it was childish, but I didn't care as I sank down onto my bed. I just wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry for more than just me though. I wanted to cry for Edward. Cry for the fact that he was, and is still, in pain. The fact that he didn't see that he was wonderful. I had no doubt in my mind that he always was and that I would have been attracted to him no matter his weight. I cried because I knew how he felt.

I overslept the next day and missed my hair appointment. I made it for the following Tuesday, figuring I could live with being blonde for a couple of days.

I got my paper from outside, hoping that maybe there would be a flash drive or something waiting for me, but there was nothing. After making some breakfast, I grabbed the paper and flipped through the entertainment section. I noticed that there was a special double feature for Halloween playing at a local theater. It was a showing of Young Frankenstein and Men in Tights, both Mel Brooks movies. My dad loved them.

I sighed when I thought about my dad. It had almost been two months since I talked to him, let alone seen him.

Before I could think about it anymore, I dialed his number.

"Chief Swan," he answered gruffly.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hey, baby girl! How are you doing?" He said brightly. It was nice that he always seemed to get happier when he talked to me. I just always felt like I got in my mother's way.

"Um, alright. Are you working tonight?"

"No, I get off at four. What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you in trouble?" He asked quickly. I snickered, my dad always going to worst possible thing first.

"Yeah, Chief Swan. I'm fine. I just saw this Mel Brooks double feature thing tonight and I really wanted to go. Would you like to go with me?"

"Seriously?"

He was actually shocked. That kind of hurt me for some reason. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I waited for his answer. "Yeah, Dad. Seriously."

"That would be great! What time does it start? Maybe we can get dinner beforehand."

"Seven. And I'd really like that."

"Alright, well I'll be by your place around 4:30! I'll see you then, baby girl," he said, hanging up. He was so excited that he didn't even ask me what movies were playing. That kind of made me happy. At least I knew he wanted to see me.

There were no emails in my box. No texts on my phone. Nothing. I felt incredibly lonely.

Even when my father was not in uniform, everyone could tell he was a Texas cop. From the Wrangler's, boots, button-down flannel covered belly, mirrored shades, and a white cowboy hat... he just screamed it. When I opened my front door, he smiled widely.

"Well, hell's bells, girl! Where did you go? You're wasting away."

I laughed, giving him a hug before shutting the door. "Yeah, right. Hardly."

"You look good. And the hair?"

"Oh, dad. Don't make fun the blonde. It was only for Halloween." I turned to look at my father's amused expression.

"Don't you make fun of blonds?"

"Yes, in general. But, it was Halloween. I'm dying it back to a normal color next week," I said as we boarded the elevator. He let the subject drop until we were at dinner at a local wing place. My dad ate very few things.

"May I ask what brought on the sudden change?" He asked.

I sighed, swirling around my tea. "Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"Answering a question with a question. Very suspicious," he said teasingly before patting my hand. "Go ahead."

"How did you handle turning thirty?"

"Ah, I figured as much," he nodded his head before giving a heavy sigh. "Well, I was already divorced and had you, but you were with your mother so I was pretty much alone. Thirty is kind of a turning point in your life."

"What did you do?"

"I threw myself into my work." He smiled at me. "And it's gotten me far, in that respect."

"Do you wish...?" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. Apparently, he knew what I meant.

"Every day, but I'm still happy with what I got. I got a great daughter with her own successful business and I'm the chief of police in one of the largest cities in the world."

I smiled awkwardly and nodded. I was so grateful when our food came.

The movies were great, not that I was surprised or anything. I knew they would be. It was nice to see my father laughing so much. We even shared a popcorn during Men in Tights.

When we finally pulled up to my apartment, it was almost midnight.

"Tell me what else is on your mind," Charlie said out of the blue, looking over at me. "I can tell when people are hiding things. Girl, you are no exception."

I chewed over my bottom lip for a long minute before sighing, "There's this guy-"

"God, do I need to kill someone?" He asked seriously, his deep southern accent making me laugh. I shook my head.

"No. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm the bad guy," I told him. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain. I looked down at my nails, picking at them. "There's this guy. And he's wonderful, Dad. I mean, he's really great. He's a friend of Jasper and Alice's. They're kind of family, almost. And..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"And what?"

"I don't know what to do," I admitted. "I don't think I'm nearly good enough for him and I don't want to give him someone so... messed up. I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship but I don't know if he'll wait until I am."

"Bella, you know I was really disappointed when you and Jake broke up," Charlie began.

"Dad!"

"Hush! Let me finish," he said, shaking his head. "Billy and I have been best friends since we were kids and if you married his son, well it would have been like I got a brother finally. But, when I went to the wedding and saw the way that Jacob looks at Vanessa, I was so grateful."

"Grateful?"

"Yeah, Grateful and relieved because Jacob never looked at you once the way he looks at Vanessa all the time. He was a blind idiot to not do so. You deserve a man that does. A man that loves you. Now, how does this boy look at you?"

Wow, the insight of an old cowboy. Who would have thought it?

"Wow, Dad. You've given me a lot to think about," I answered, giving him a grateful smile. "And I had a really good time tonight. We should do this more often."

"Agreed," he nodded. He put his hand on my shoulder as I went to open the door. "Bella, I want to tell you something important. Even if you don't know what you're going to do or how you're going to handle things remember who you are. You are a strong beautiful woman. You're my Birdie," he said, calling me the name he called me when I was a kid. "Don't forget that."

I leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, "thanks, Dad."

Oh yeah, I certainly had a lot to think about now.

This Charlie is one of my favorites.

Who saw Edward's backstory coming? Did you see the foreshadowing?

Thanks for reading!