The List

Edward took my hand as he crawled into bed beside me. I snuggled into his side, laying my head on his shoulder. He rested his other hand on my waist, kissing the top of my head before sighing.

"This is so nice."

"This is. You don't know how long it's been since I've felt this content," I told him, rubbing my foot against his calf.

"Tell me."

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"Tell me. Tell me everything about you. Tell me how you feel. For so long you've been so sheltered from me, hiding your feelings. The day we spent together I think was the only time I've seen you unguarded," Edward said, running his fingers over my jaw. "I want to know everything about you, love."

"I'm not the only one that has been guarded," I told him, tucking my head underneath his chin.

"I know. I'm sorry," he sighed. "I promise not to be from now on."

I tugged on his shirt, pulling it out of his pants so that he would be more comfortable. He chuckled, lifting up his ass slightly to get it completely out. Edward rolled onto his side, looking me straight in the eyes. "Tell me about your past."

So I told him, filling in the bits that I kept before. I told him about Jacob, I mean really told him. How I felt, how hurt I was. How sad it made me. How alone I was.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "But, it does truly seem like he didn't mean to hurt you."

"No. There was no malice. And even though it hurt, I was glad to let go. I wanted him to feel loved. He was my best friend."

"How did you meet?" He asked, changing the subject slightly.

"I've known Jake since I was a kid. His dad Billy and my dad are the best of buddies. They were both cops. Charlie always went to their place on holidays when I was growing up because well, it was just us. We were almost family."

"What does he do now?" He asked.

I shrugged, "work. Last year was the first year that..."

"That what?"

"That I was alone on Thanksgiving. I had a TV dinner and went to a movie," I laughed humorlessly at my own lameness. "I'll probably do the same thing this year."

"The hell you are," Edward said, shaking his head. "Next week, you're spending Thanksgiving with me and my family."

"I don't want to impose."

"If you don't come with me then I'll stay with you," he said, bringing my chin up to look up into my eyes. "You won't be imposing. I want you with me."

"Okay," I breathed, leaning forward and kissing him deeply on the lips just once. I ran my fingers through his hair, leaning my head on his chest. "What do you do for Thanksgiving anyway?"

"My mom's family throws a huge potluck. There are like a hundred of us, usually. Everyone brings a dish. Everyone, man, woman, child. It's kind of a requirement."

"Wow, that's a big family and an ass load of food."

"Well, my mom is one out of ten siblings. Two brothers and seven sisters. And they have kids and grandkids, and so on and so forth. It used to be bigger but some have moved away or go to other things now," he explained. "Everything with McCarty's is centered around food. Honestly, Thanksgiving is the only day I really give in and eat whatever I want to."

"I love Thanksgiving food," I sighed with that contented thought. "I'll make a dish to bring."

"You don't have to. I'll make enough for both of us."

"I want to," I shook my head. "What about Alice and Jasper?"

"Actually, we were planning a celebration of our own on Friday because I know that they'll go to Jasper's parents and Alice's parents for a while on Thursday. I know they'll want you to come as well. Alice has already expressed that."

"That sounds like fun. You won't be working that Friday?" I asked.

"I take Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off around Thanksgiving because I usually work so much around Christmas. It's a mini vacation of sorts. What about you?"

"Honestly, right after Halloween is the busiest for me. I've got most of the things done for the Christmas season. Then after Christmas, it goes into spring which is a little slower. Thankfully."

"Busy girl."

"I am, but I know you understand how that is," I said, running my hand along his waist. "You know," I started slowly, "I can't imagine you other than anything besides thin. You'll have to show me pictures."

"Ugh, no," he groaned loudly.

"Oh, yes. I've thought about it and I've decided that I would have been attracted to you no matter your size. You are handsome. Your face, your eyes, your hair. Those things really haven't changed. And your voice," I shivered just thinking about it. "Those are the things that turn me on."

"Turn you on?" He smiled wickedly. "That is very good to know."

"You knew you turned me on already. Don't act all surprised," I teased him.

"Well," he said, running his hand down the side of my thigh before hitching my leg over his hip, "there are certain things I must admit I'm still working on. Hearing anyone say that I turn them on... Well, it still surprises me. It's hard to grasp."

"I know I'm not the only that has told you that," I said, scooting closer. There my leg was wrapped around him but we weren't actually in a sexual place. It was just comfortable.

"No. You're not. But you're one of the only ones I've believed."

That made me smile.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You may ask me anything," he said, rubbing the back of my neck gently.

"You said you were with four other women. I've told you about my past. Now tell me about yours."

Edward stilled for a moment, thinking about what he was going to say. "Well, my first girlfriend was in high school. She was really amazing, honestly. But much like your Jacob, she was more a friend than a lover. Her name was Angela," he smiled slightly, tilting his head to the side. "She got married last year to her soulmate Ben and I played at their wedding. It was really nice. It was a lot of fun too."

"That's so sweet," I smiled, glad that someone had treated him right. "What about the others?"

"Ah, there was this girl, Heidi, in college. And she was nuts. Truly nuts. We were together maybe seven months before I finally couldn't take anymore and ran. There was another girl in college as well, but it just didn't work out. We grew apart."

"Have you dated anyone since..." I trailed off, not knowing exactly how to phrase that question.

"Since I slimmed down? Yeah, one. And for a short while, I thought maybe that this girl was the one. Her name was Jane. But the more and more I saw of her... the real her, I felt like I was no more than a showpiece which is really odd to say. She was selfish and unkind and really put me off of women," he said before touching my cheek, "until you."

"What made me so special?" I asked.

"Besides being breathtakingly beautiful, sweet, kind, funny, and amazing?" He teased before shrugging. "Honestly, I don't know. That first kiss... You were so vulnerable. And I knew exactly how you felt. Everything about you is so raw and down to earth. I adore that. It's refreshing."

"It's refreshing until it gets on your nerves," I laughed and he shook his head, smiling at me wickedly. "I bet you'll hate me by the end of the week. You'll get sick of me."

"Never," he whispered, rolling me over onto my back and kissing me sweetly on the lips. Edward hovered over me, his deep green eyes bright and almost... smiling. "I want to keep you for forever."

"Why don't we start with dating first?" I asked teasingly, leaning up and kissing him firmly on the lips.

"Can't we start with other things?" He said against my neck before beginning to kiss it lightly. "I have ways of convincing you."

"I'm sure you do," I laughed, pushing him off of me and onto the bed. I quickly straddled his waist, my dress spreading all around us. "But I thought you said you were going to be a gentleman."

"Yes, I did. But you're not exactly being a prim and proper lady right now, are you?" He teased me, placing his hands on my hips. "Not that I mind."

"I'm sure you don't," I laughed again and stretched, yawning loudly as I brought my hands over my head. He hummed in pleasure as his eyes went to my chest. I brought my arms back quickly, crossing them over my breasts. "Pervert."

"I'm a male. It's a built-in genetic trait," he chuckled cheerfully, tickling my sides. I squealed and fell back. Edward soon tackled me to the bed, making me scream louder with laughter. "Are you going to behave now?" He asked through his own laughter.

"Never!" I growled, tickling him back. I was surprised to find that he was extremely ticklish. I pushed him onto his back and sprang on top of him but I stopped when I realized something. There was a faint glow spreading across the floor. "The sun is coming up."

"Yeah. We've been talking for hours," Edward said softly, pulling me down to him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you awake. Do you work today?"

"Don't be sorry. I wanted to. And yes, I have two weddings and a special occasion, starting around one."

"I should let you get some sleep," I said crawling off of him. "Do you want me to set the alarm for eleven?"

"Eleven thirty. My apartment isn't far from here. I just have to get showered and dressed."

I set the alarm and crawled back into bed, this time pulling the covers over us. I fell asleep beside him, still in my size ten dress with my legs and arms tangled with his.

My dreams were a lot sweeter than they had been in a very long time.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, warm and soft as it gently nudged me awake. "Bella?"

"Hm?" I moaned, rolling over but not opening my eyes.

"What's this?"

"What's what?" I asked, stretching and slowly sitting up. My eyes grew wide as I took in the image of Edward sitting on the bed beside me while holding my list. "Oh!"

"I'm sorry. It was just on the floor and I was curious. You put it away so quickly last night. What exactly is it?"

"It's um... It's my list of things that I want to do before I'm thirty-one." I frowned as I flushed.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" He asked curiously, folding it up and putting it back on the bedside stand. "I mean, that explains a lot of the changes and such."

"Because I didn't want you to think you were just something I checked off my list," I said, not looking at him.

"Why would I think that?" Edward asked, trying to snatch the list back up. I grabbed it quickly and shoved it down in between my breasts before he could get it. He laughed loudly, "do you think that's going to stop me?"

"I hope so!" I said, clutching my chest.

"Why would I think that, Bella? I know you better than that. Now, come on. Take the piece of paper out of your dress before I do."

I guess he was right and I knew he would do it. I slowly took the paper out and handed it back to him. "Because of one of the things marked off on the list. The third one down."

"I did that?" Edward asked happily. "Hell yeah! Go me!"

I smacked his shoulder, harder. He groaned, laughing hard. "Oh, wait... Wait... There's one about a tattoo. When did you get that? I didn't see that when we were together. I want to see!"

I snatched the list back up, holding my chin up high. "I thought we were taking things slow."

"So it's in a place I can't see unless we're nude? Well, that makes me want to see it more," he almost purred, leaning over and kissing me firmly on the lips. I laughed, pushing away from him. He smiled at me, flirting with his eyes. "It is cool that you're doing this," Edward said, nodding his head towards the paper.

"I couldn't do it without Alice's help," I told him truthfully.

"I want to help too," he said, leaning over me. "If you want me to."

"I'd love that," I said, stroking his cheek gently. I glanced over at the clock and noticed the time. "You have to go," I frowned slightly.

Edward frowned as well, leaning down to kiss me deeply on the lips once more. "I do. But, do you want to do something tonight? I should be free after nine."

"Come back over," I said quietly, tugging on his now redone tie. I had just noticed that he was freshly showered and clean, all he needed to do was shave to be ready for the day. He decided to stay with me longer rather than put on fresh clothes.

"Anything you want," he said, kissing my forehead. "Get some more sleep. I'll call you when I'm heading over this way."

"Okay," I nodded, settling back under the covers. He gave me one final kiss before leaving. I sank back under the covers, once again feeling content but not exactly whole.

"Bella?" I heard someone call quietly sometime later that afternoon. I was still in bed, still in my dress and sleepy as hell. I wasn't as young as I once was and staying up that late was a pain in the ass. But I knew exactly who the voice belonged to and I wasn't surprised.

I wasn't going to move out of bed either. She would find me.

"Bella?" I heard as the bedroom door open. "Sweetie, are you okay?"

"Mary Alice, that was a dirty trick you pulled," I said, not turning over to look at her.

"I know," she answered quietly. "But, I felt like I had to do something. What happened last night?"

I toyed with the idea of messing with her. I mean, really really messing with her, but I decided to put her out of her misery. I could tell just by the sound of her voice that she felt guilty. She was my friend after all and I knew she really was looking out for my best interests. "Mike didn't call you?"

"He said you kind of spazzed and left suddenly," she shrugged.

"I went into the bathroom and freaked. I mean really did. Then I decided that I needed to do something."

"What's that?"

"I decided that I needed help in loving myself."

Alice squealed like a little girl. I didn't have to explain everything for her to know exactly what happened. What happened in the end anyway. "I knew it would work!"

"That was a dangerous game you played," I told her truthfully. "What if I didn't go to Edward? What if Edward rejected me?"

"I've learned, as an artist, you must take risks. But, this wasn't a risk. This was a guarantee," she said with her chin held high. I scoffed.

"You didn't know. You're just lucky right now that I'm so fucking happy. Otherwise, your ass would be kicked."

She laughed, laying down beside me. "You can kick my ass later if you want to. But you have to tell me what happened. In detail. Everything."

So I did. I smiled at all the little details. How he held me. How he smiled. How he made me feel. "Oh, and Alice, he was so... so kind. I don't think that I deserve that kind of-" I shook my head. "But, I don't think I want to let go now."

"Good. So don't!" She laughed. "When are you going to see him again?"

"Tonight. And on Thanksgiving apparently. And on Friday. By the way, are we having a get-together? Edward mentioned something."

"Oh! We are! I was just waiting to see what happened to ask you," Alice snickered. "You know... Just in case you killed me. But yeah, we're going to have a nice dinner. Want in?"

"Yup," I smiled, poking her side. "Want me to bring anything?"

"Anything but prune cake."

It was just a little after ten when Edward called. I was beginning to fear that he wouldn't come and had resided myself to putting on pajamas and eating everything I made for dinner. The dinner that was going to be for both of us. I had only gotten as far as the pajamas though.

He looked so tired when I opened the door. Edward was wearing a pair of slacks and an undershirt. I could only imagine he removed his suit jacket, shirt, and tie. I held my arms out to him and he instantly fell into them.

"You smell so good," he groaned, leaning his face into my neck.

"Long day?" I laughed, rubbing his back gently. He just nodded into my hair. "Then why don't we eat some dinner, drink some beer, and watch a mind-numbing movie?"

"I don't care," he spoke into my curls. "As long as you're in my arms the entire time."

"It'll be kind of hard to eat like that," I teased him.

"Don't care," he said again, his voice still muffled. "You're soft, warm, and you smell good," Edward repeated.

"Eat first, then I'll cuddle with you?" I said, pulling back to look at him.

"Okay..." he drew out. "If I must."

I wasn't the best cook. I would admit that. But, I was still trying to make a new dish a week. I decided to try out my newest dish on Edward. It was an Asian stir fry. He was polite enough not to spit it out in front of me. He was even sweet enough to lie and say it was good. It wasn't the best thing I had made so far. I would have to try to cook him something different later.

After we decided on wine because Edward made fun of my girly fruity beers. I just ignored him and told him that it was on my list.

"Let me see the list again," Edward asked as he settled on the couch. "Please? I really want to help you as much as I can."

Instead of arguing as my instincts told me to, I went to go get my list from the bedroom. "You've already helped me," I informed him. "With several things."

"They don't count if they're not on purpose," he laughed, smiling as I sat beside him. He brought my legs up onto his lap, rubbing my knee gently as he read over the paper again. "I want to help you with this one," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

I didn't have to look at the list to know which one he was talking about. "Oh, do you know how to knit?"

"Ha ha," he drew out, blushing a little bit. "What exactly do you consider kinky, Bella? Didn't you ever do anything with Jacob?"

"He smacked my ass every once in a while and liked it when I called him daddy, but no. I really don't consider that kinky. I mean like... role play. Hardcore. I don't know," I laughed in embarrassment. "I'll know it when I see it."

His tongue flicked over the corner of his lip as he smiled, his eyes going over the printed out list. "That is informative. That could be dangerous. My mind tends to wander."

"And where does your mind wander to?" I asked in a teasing manner.

"A wild place fueled by my fantasies and a lot of porn. A whole lot of porn," Edward snickered, his cheeks flaming even though he was amused.

"So is that where you got all those good moves?" I asked him with a smile, teasing him further.

"Had to learn them somewhere," he replied without a second thought. Edward rolled his head to the side as he looked at me. "The internet is for porn after all. Might as well use that to my advantage."

"I am horrified, amused, and slightly freaked out," I laughed and he smacked the bottom of my foot gently, making me cackle even more. "So is that all you're going to help me with?"

"Mm," he hummed, tossing the list onto the coffee table. He pulled me down so that I was laying on the couch and moved between my legs. "I'd like to help with those fancy knickers as well."

My fingers went into his hair, pulling him down to my lips, "I figured as much."

We kissed leisurely for several more minutes before he pulled away. Edward's lips trailed down my neck softly. "I want to help you with everything. I want to help you reach every goal you set."

"Do you know what my goal is right now?" I asked him in a very soft and flirty voice, my fingers running along his ribs gently.

"What's that, love?" He shivered underneath my touch, his eyes rolling back into his head.

"To get you into bed."

I was off the couch and thrown over his shoulder in a matter of seconds. I squealed like a little girl, holding on for dear life.

"That sounds like a lovely plan."

"Put my fat ass down!" I shouted. "You're going to drop me!"

"Your ass is HARDLY fat. Actually, it's very nice. Perfect for me. I like them nice and round," he said, playfully nibbling on my butt through my shorts. I laughed loudly, smacking his ass as hard as I could. "Oh, baby," he said rather dryly, "just like that."

Then I sank claws in. Edward howled like Goofy in an old Disney cartoon. "Put me down, boy."

"Okay!" He laughed, rubbing his ass after he sat me down to the floor. "Sorry. It was too fun and I couldn't help it. Would you still like me to share a bed with you?"

Without answering I walked to my bedroom, swaying my hips as I did so. As I got to my bedroom I flipped my hair over my shoulder and looked at him with the best seductive smile I could manage. He actually looked a little dazed. I was proud of myself.

"Coming, Edward?"

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