Here it is.

Oh and I noticed I wasn't doing this and everyone else does so here it is...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters (except Landon) just the plot. All rights to 'The Host' charaters goes to the fabulously talented Stephanie Meyers, who we wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. :)

Enjoy.

Chapter 5: Missed

I hugged Jamie to my chest. Tears flowing down my cheeks. Jamie clung to me and I rubbed his back, trying to sooth him. I didn't blame him. Wanda was gone. She was now in the soul's territory. I closed my eyes, willing the tears to stop. I didn't have much hope since I was thinking about Wanda.

I could almost see Wanda sitting in a healing facility tears flowing down her cheeks. She put her head down into her hands so they covered her eyes. I felt the connection like when she was in my head. I felt it. I felt her there. I imagined hugging her, trying to comfort her. I willed the connection to let her see out of my eyes. I opened my eyes and everything was just a little fuzzy like looking threw a thin blurry piece of fabric. There were a few people picking at their food and chatting with each other. I looked around like I had earlier and saw that everyone, like Jamie, was down about Wanda.

Lily had stopped crying and was leaning against the wall drinking a bottle of water. Violetta, Jeffrey, Andy, Page and Lucina were sitting at the counter. I saw that Page and Lucina had puffy eyes and the other three were just frowning. I looked over at Sharon sitting in between Aunt Maggie and Doc. She was holding Doc's hand and leaning against his shoulder. She had cried a few tears and I thought she looked like she was still crying.

I knew that Wanda was still in my head so I went to the person that she'd want to see. When I looked at Ian I knew that this wouldn't make her happy or comfort her in any way. Ian was sitting in the corner of the kitchen on the floor with his legs against his chest. He had his hands on either side of his head and he was crying so hard that his body was shaking. I wished that I could walk over there and comfort him; we were in the same boat after all.

I was confident and definite in my thoughts. We'll get her back. I promise Wanda. We will get you back. Then she was gone.

Jamie straightened up and yawned, he'd been 'leaking manliness', as Jared had put it, on and off for hours.

"Time for bed I think." Jeb said walking over to us.

I looked into his face and saw that his beard glistened with tears shed and his eyes were slightly red.

I stood up and helped Jamie to his feet. I heard a rustling behind me; I'd forgotten that Jared was behind me.

I walked with Jamie at my side and Jeb on my other side with Jared right behind me.

"No shame to be crying Jamie." Jeb said in his deep authoritative voice.

"He wasn't crying, right Jamie, he was 'leaking manliness'." Jared said.

"I suppose that's another way you could put it." Jeb said with a smile.

"Been leaking some manliness of your own Jeb?" I asked looking at him.

He looked at me and I knew it was true, "Nope."

"Your eyes are red."

"I got something in my eye."

"Both eyes?"

He didn't say anything till we got to Aaron and Brant's cave. "Can't I sleep with you two just for tonight?" Jamie said turning and looking from me to Jared.

"Nope sorry bud. Mel and I have some things to talk about." Jared said putting his arm around my shoulders.

He turned back around and before going inside he turned to Jeb, "its ok for you to cry Uncle Jeb."

He nodded, "Night kid."

Jamie went inside and we continued on our way to Jared and I's cave.

"Go ahead Jared; I'll be there in a minute I want to talk to Jeb." I said stopping.

"Ok." Jared said looking at me curiously but he went on anyway.

"What is it Mel?"

I turned to him, "I know this is your house, and your rules. But you are just as human as the rest of us. You heard Jamie, its ok to cry over missing her."

"Now hold on there kid." Jeb began.

"No listen to me Jeb" I said maybe a little louder than I thought necessary, "You were the first one that saw threw the blind hatred and accepted Wanda first. You were her first protector. And she became like a daughter to you. It's ok for you to cry because you miss her. And it's ok to admit it too."

Jeb put a hand on my shoulder, "Mel. Sure I miss her but I'll shed some tears when I'm alone. I'm not gonna flaunt that I cried about her. Someone's gotta keep their head around here."

I hung my head, he was right I was losing it but I wasn't as far gone as Ian.

"It's ok to miss her." he said, "But we can't let it get the best of us; we need to keep our heads until the danger passes." I nodded. "Go on and get to bed. Jared's waiting."

I nodded again and gave him a hug. "She's family Uncle Jeb. We gotta get her back."

He hugged me back, "We will kid, but it's gotta cool down first."

I nodded and started walking the rest of the way to my room.

When I walked in and made sure the screen was secured. I turned to see Jared shirtless and in the pajama pants Wanda had gotten for him. "Ready for bed already?"

He nodded and walked towards me and gave me a tight hug. "It'll be al-"

"Please don't say alright." I said putting my arms around his neck holding him to me. "It's not alright without her here."

I pulled back from the hug and gave me a tender gentle kiss, "but it will be alright Mel. It's going to…. Work its self out." I heard a quiver in his voice.

I looked at him, "Jared?" I could see the tears filling his eyes "Are you going to cry?"

He hugged me again, "No." his voice suggested otherwise.

He brought his lips back to mine and kissed me harder than before. I couldn't help but respond though I wanted to know his thoughts. I closed my eyes and I put my hands around his neck pulling it and his lips closer.

I felt tears fall onto my arms and tears started to build up behind my closed eye lids. He moved his lips back, "You're not alone Mel." He whispered, "I loved her too."

I pulled looking back into his honey colored eyes, "Oh Jared."

"She was like a little sister to me. I owe her so much for bringing you back to me. And while she was in you I grew to love her. Love her like my little sister." His voice broke when he said sister.

I had him lay on the bed while I changed and then we laid side by side looking at each other. "It's ok to cry over missing her." I said repeating myself. "She was important to everyone, even those who wouldn't admit it."

His breath caught a bit, was he sobbing? "I noticed Sharon." He said.

I nodded, "Yea, she became Wanda's friend and was just starting to think of her as part of the family."

"She's probably worried that the seekers will find us, more." He said

"Yea, maybe." I said scooting close to him, "But she still feels the loss of Wanda."

Jared took deep steadying breaths, "I wonder if Ian is going to do something stupid."

I shrugged, "I think once he's got all that crying out of his system he'll probably want to steal the jeep and go find her."

"It's too dangerous to do that ya know." He said connecting his nose and forehead with mine. "It'll be a while. We'll only be able to go out for food. And it'll have to be one big haul so we don't need to go out for a while. And we'll have to start making cactus soap again when we start to run out of those bars that Wanda got us."

I put a finger to his lip, "Jared, get out of raid mode and kiss me."

He did, I moved my finger and he started to kiss me with a sense of urgency. His body and mine moving in synchronization was the exact distraction I needed.

I slip the screen open and closed it behind me. I cursed myself for not going to the bathroom before bed it was always so creepy walking through the caves at night.

On my way back from the bathroom I caught a glimpse of light that wasn't moonlight because it was coming from a hole less tunnel. I decided to investigate. It was dark and my sleepy brain wasn't sure where this tunnel led. I walked down the tunnel then I saw the light again. After a minute it disappeared. That was weird.

I bravely continued and then I smelt something, I knew where the tunnel led, the game room. I continued the smell of the sulfur becoming stronger with every step.

Just as I turned into the entrance to the game room the light shone right in my face. It turned off almost immediately, "Sorry." A voice said.

I rubbed my eyes. "Who's in here? And what's with the light?"

"It's just for me to have a little light." A really deep voice said. "I'm use to the light shining down on me."

"Who are you?" I said trying to connect a deep voice to one of the men.

"You know Melanie; I'm surprised that you're not catatonic. Wanda was so close to you. I'd have thought you'd be more upset." The deep voice continued.

"I am upset." I said defensively, "I'm being strong…. For"

"Jamie." He finished my sentence. "Plus that's the way she'd want it. She wouldn't want you to cry or be catatonic…."

I knew who it was now. "She wouldn't want you to be catatonic either Ian."

"But she's not here." I heard his voice break.

I took a step forward, "Hey shine the light at the cave sealing or floor so I know where you are." I put my hands over my eyes and I heard the light click on. I cracked my fingers letting my eyes adjust to the light.

"Not much of a help if you've got your hands over your eyes." Ian said.

I dropped my hands, "Just letting my eyes adjust." I saw him sitting against the wall in 'middle field' in between the two goals. I walked over and sat next to him.

"My eyes hurt worse than yours. Believe me." He said. His voice was much deeper because he'd been crying. I got a look at him properly before he turned off the light. His eyes were so red and puffy, his cheeks were flushed and he had tear streaks all down his face.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked. 'Are you ok?' would have been the stupidest question ever.

"Being catatonic." He said turning what I found to be a flashlight on and off.

I nodded. I wanted to say something comforting but anything that I thought I could say would sound insensitive or like a lie. I decided on, "We will get her back."

The flashlight clicked on, "Sure Mel. You keep telling yourself that." It clicked off.

I looked at him. "What do you mean?" Ian didn't answer. "Ian O'Shea." I said anger coming into my voice.

"Well." He said turning on the flashlight. "Jeb paid me a visit in my catatonic state." I groaned, Jeb. "He told me that if I did something stupid that I would no longer be allowed here." He turned it off, "He…." I heard tears creep into his voice, "He told me I couldn't go get her."

I took a deep breath, "Well she needs us. She's family and I won't let Uncle Jeb threaten me into abandoning her." I reached over and took one of Ian's hands. "And we'll be smart about it. We'll find a way to get her back without endangering anyone."

I heard Ian give a little sob. "Wanda. Wanda." He murmured.

I leaned my head on his shoulder. "She'll be fine. I know that they haven't sent her anywhere. She'd still here."

"You couldn't possibly-" he started

"Yes. I can. I…. It's complicated. You'll just have to trust me."

He shifted his weight se he was facing me and flipped on the flashlight, "Melanie Stryder. Tell me. At least the best you can."

I sighed, "When I was in the kitchen right before I went to bed I closed my eyes and…. I thought I was just imagining it but then I…. Felt her in my head." He gasped and I saw that I had his complete and full attention now. "Well I tried to let her in and I opened my eyes and I could feel here looking out."

He wiped his eyes tears leaking out, "I bet I didn't look to great."

I shrugged, "As great as could be expected."

He stared into my eyes piercing sapphire blue that Wanda had become so attached to; I had to admit that his eyes were very pretty. But I was parcel to my Jared. "Could you connect with her now?"

I shrugged, "I'm not exactly sure how this thing works."

"Will you try?" he whispered.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture Wanda in a bed with real sheets and fluffy pillows. I tried to feel the connection that I felt before but I couldn't get it. I tried again squeezing my eyes tightly closed, concentrating. Wanda. Let me in. That didn't work either.

I opened my eyes and looked at Ian, "I'm sorry. I couldn't get her.

He looked down at our hands "its fine." I saw a tear come into his eye and roll down his cheek.

"I'll tell you next time I get her ok? I promise." I said wiping the tear from his cheek.

He sat against the wall again and, still allowing me to hold his hand, turned off the flashlight. We sat in silence for a long time and I started to think he had fallen asleep. I stood up and let go of his hand.

"Going back to bed?" he asked his voice still gravely and almost horse.

"I thought you'd fallen asleep. But I think I should get back to bed. You should go to bed too." I said.

"I couldn't even if I wanted too." He said sniffing, "I got so use to having her next to me that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. And I can't bring myself to go back into that room and have everything remind me of her."

I nodded, "I get that. So your just gonna sit here and play with your flashlight?"

He turned the light on and then off again. "Yep."

I shrugged, "Mind giving me some light?" He clicked the flashlight on and I walked over to the mouth of the tunnel. "Remember when Wanda went catatonic after she saw the massacre before she gave me back?"

"I'm not likely to forget it." He said sadly.

I turned my head to face him, "Don't neglect your well being. She can't be rescued by a weak Ian who hasn't eaten in days. I'm not going to be able to disobey Jeb's threat without you. As long as you think Wanda's worth the risk."

I knew what he'd say, "She's more than worth the risk."