7. I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free

I wish I could share

All the love that's in my heart

Remove all the bars

That keep us apart

Another day of trying to get that stupid letter delivered. She suspected that she'd gone in entirely the wrong direction from where Evan King had told her to go yesterday. Or she'd bypassed them entirely. Oh, well. This just gave her more landmarks to navigate by.

The only reason it had taken her so long to get back to Megaton with Leo's Addictol was because she'd gotten turned around twice before she'd started logging landmarks into her Pip-boy. Had she done that to begin with, she might not have been injured and have neat little scars on her belly. They were still pinkish but probably wouldn't minimize much more except by age.

Still, here she was at a train yard,

"You know, it's a good thing I was so fascinated by pre-war things," B told Dogmeat, not really expecting any sort of an answer. She rounded a railcar, heading for the stone hills so she could get the layout of the land and figure out where she was going. "Otherwise I'm pretty sure that I would be so- Shit!" She spun around at the sound of shifting dirt behind her; B knew it from years of working with Stanley down in the bowels of the Vault.

Despite the fact that her left shoulder was mostly out of commission for a few days, her body reacted before she finished vocally responding, one-handed swing at the precise height that a molerat would jump. I have the scars to show for that knowledge. There was a sickening crunch as wood connected to flesh and bone and the molerat flew back, smacking into a railcar with a thud. Her right shoulder groaned in protest from both the impact and force. Dogmeat lunged at another, jaws closing around its neck and he shook. Bone snapped.

He dropped the limp body and peered up at B, tongue lolling out in a doggy grin as he wagged his tail. "That is really gross but thank you." She stared at the bodies, lips pursed together. "I don't want to carry them around. Why couldn't they have waited until we were already heading back to Megaton so I could dump them off at the Lantern?" She sighed, tipping her head back to gauge the sky. "Okay, Dogmeat. Go get wood so I can cook this. Fetch wood."

The dog let out a low woof and bounded off. B flipped open her switchblade and set to work.

Eventually, a low fire was built and chunks of the remaining meat from her shoddy butchering job were skewered and cooking. B sat near the fire, every sense straining outward for danger, fingers nervously tapping her thigh. Both pistol and bat lay within easy reach. She'd toughened up a little but didn't think she'd ever feel anywhere close to safe outside at night. Not that it was dark out yet. But she knew from reading in the vault that night was when the big predators came out to play and she'd just set up a beacon alerting anything with a nose that there was fresh meat nearby.

Dogmeat lifted his head and gave a soft warning growl. B twisted, right hand resting on the bat. She opened her mouth to call out and quickly shut it. Not until she knew what she was dealing with.

Seconds ticked by into minutes. Occasionally, she'd glance down at Dogmeat. The dog had gone silent but he was still alert, miscolored eyes focused on the nearby ridge. Finally, B couldn't take it any longer. "If you aren't going to try to kill me, I won't hurt you."

A head finally poked up over the rocks. Human. Good. She could work with human. "How do I know I can trust you?" Male voice, but it sounded rough, unused.

"Because I'm not some lunatic raider and I haven't been out of the Vault all that long."

He shuffled forward a bit, exposing his shoulders, and even from this distance, she could see how gaunt he was. "You…from a Vault?"

"That doesn't mean I'm an idiot," she warned. "I just haven't been out here that long. I'm learning fast."

He inched a little farther. "I-I could smell your meat. I ain't eaten in days."

"Oh, my gosh. Come down here and I'll share." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop to think about it. In her next breath, she wished she hadn't because she didn't know him and she wouldn't put it past raiders to try a bluff like this.

But the way he perked up, exposing an obviously makeshift bandage around his arm and the disbelief in his "Are you serious?" pulled at a part of her that she thought she'd buried years ago. Apparently they weren't as gone as she'd hoped.

Who was she kidding? That was always going to make her chest ache.

Shoving memories aside and blinking back sudden tears, she gestured down to the fire. "I've got plenty and I will send Dogmeat up to drag you down if you don't come willingly."

The last time B had seen anyone move that quickly was about three days before she was forced out of the Vault. Butch had accidentally walked in on her and she'd been stripped down to just a bra and her underwear. The look on his face had nearly been worth the humiliation. This time, though, she wasn't completely mortified. B held a hand over her mouth to hide the smile as he scampered down the ridge. She scooted over so he had room on the rock she'd been sitting on.

"I have no idea if they're fully cooked or not. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out this whole survival thing." She pulled one of the skewers out of the fire and handed it to him, wincing in apology at the blackened meat. When he opened his mouth to tear off another bite, B saw that most of his teeth were broken or missing. Worse, now that he was this close, she could see how horrible he looked and it horrified her. She had no idea humans could survive in that condition. The man was about as skinny as some of the wild dogs she'd seen, dirt crusted hair matted and she couldn't tell what the original color was. And he reeked like he'd never been clean in his life. "What's your name?" she asked, pitching as much kindness into her voice as she could.

He froze, eyes flicking toward her before fixing on the ground. "Don't got one. Ma died birthin' me and the Slaver never bothered."

B blinked. "You can't have been called 'Hey you' or 'slave' your whole life."

He shrugged.

Her eyebrows lifted. Then what he'd said registered and her brow furrowed together. "Wait. You're a slave?"

Now he was hunched defensively over the near finished skewer of meat, a guarded look in his eyes. "Was. Ain't no more."

"You're a runaway."

"So? What's it to ya?"

B stared at him long enough that he began to inch away, preparing to bolt. "Nothing," she finally said. "I was only trying to figure out if I cared how much trouble I'm inevitably going to get in for helping you make a new life."

"You're-what?" His jaw dropped.

"You heard me. I've got a house in Megaton that you can live in while we figure things out."

He just stared at her, eyes wide, mouth open. She handed him the second skewer and it took him a second to start eating.

As he ripped off a piece, B dug into her pack, looking for a gun she'd picked up from one of the raiders she'd killed on her way over here. It wasn't in good shape and she'd been intending to take it apart to figure out how it worked so she could clean and maintain, maybe even tinker with, the ones she sometimes used, but if they ran into anything, she wasn't sure she'd be able to protect both of them, even with Dogmeat's help. She didn't think that she'd be able to do it with a healthy pair of shoulders as it was, let alone with one out of commission. She slid the gun over to him, careful to make sure it wasn't pointed at him.

She didn't realize how much of a potentially terrible idea that was until she'd already slid the gun halfway over. "Here."

Once again, he froze. "Don't know how to use one. I weren't-"

B waved her hand, cutting him off. "You'll learn. I did. But I'm not heading directly home. I'm trying to deliver a letter and it's not as easy as it sounds."

He stared at her, obviously trying to figure her out. "So...you want me to come with or somethin'?"

"It's probably best. That way you don't accidentally end up dead."

The runaway slave finished his last bite of molerat and B tossed the skin and attached fat that she'd been charring to Dogmeat, who caught it in midair with a snap of his jaws. As she slung her pack onto her back, B paused. "More importantly, you need a name." A small smile curled her lips in response to the grin that grew on his.

B still wasn't back when Andy locked up the Brass Lantern. Leo leaned against one of the supports outside, trying to look nonchalant and not like he kept eyeing the door as he took a long drag of his cigarette. His younger brother glanced at him, shook his head, and pocketed the key. "Girlfriend not back yet?"

Leo stiffened and snuffed out the cigarette on the support. "She's not my girlfriend."

"And yet you knew exactly who I was talking about." When Leo didn't respond, Andy just sighed. "Look, just be careful. She's a Vaultie."

In the fading sunlight, Andy saw Leo's jaw tighten but he was silent long enough that he thought he wasn't going to reply. But despite their close proximity, when he did, Andy had to strain to hear his brother. "She doesn't belong out here."

"Neither did Mom. I thought-"

The door to the Wasteland creaked open and they immediately swiveled to face it. "-radroaches. Absolutely terrified of them. Leo!" B broke off whatever story she'd been telling when she saw him. Her limp was more pronounced as she bounded and slid down the ramp into Megaton but other than that seemed to have no new injuries. Following her was a man who looked like he'd come out of the wrong end of a Brahmin and even at a brief glance was jumpy and nervous. Both brothers put their hands on the pistols at their sides. "Relax." B hugged Leo, still clearly favoring her left shoulder. Her lip curled as she used that hand to pull his away from his gun but didn't make a noise in pain. "He's a friend."

"Friends out in the Wasteland aren't always friends," Leo leaned back, eyeing the man suspiciously.

Bottle green eyes narrowed at him and she clicked her fingers in his face. "By that logic, I shouldn't have made friends with either of you. Yet, here we are."

She turned and waved the man over. He'd been hiding behind the Brahmin, trying to stay out of sight but still be able to watch what was going on. Cautiously, he crept into view fully. "This is Adam. He's sorta like me. Not a Vaultie, obviously, but he does need some help getting acquainted with the Wasteland."

The man straightened a little but he still looked like he was ready to bolt. After a moment, Leo held out his hand. "Leo." At his side, his brother tightened his stance.

Adam stared at his offered hand, eyes flicking uncertainly to B. "Shaking hands is how you greet someone," she said gently, nudging him with her good shoulder.

"Oh!" If he grabbed Leo's hand a little too hard, no one commented on it. If anything, B just beamed pride. "Sorry, I'm new at all this."

"It's okay, Adam. Why don't you go into that house up there? Wadsworth will show you my spare room. It's a bit cluttered but we'll figure things out. Wadsworth is the Mr. Handy. The robot." Immediately, he looked absolutely terrified but he swallowed and nodded. B waited until she couldn't see him anymore to turn back to Leo. "Is your hand okay?"

"It's fine."
B nibbled on the inside of her cheek and eyed Andy. "How would you like to make a deal?"

Andy relaxed, lifting an eyebrow. "Business?"

She nodded. "Adam's a runaway slave. WIll you hire him so he can get some working experience? In return, you'll have first pick of whatever scav I don't need before I sell it to Moira."

"Working experience. Sorry, it's not in our best interest to pick up someone with no skills."

"Except he does."

"What?"

"He wouldn't have survived as long as he has if he was entirely useless. He's just...skittish. He needs to be around people."

"And how is him working in our bar going to help us?"

Leo threw a glare at his brother but Andy ignored him, completely focused on B. For once, she didn't seem overly concerned by the attention. Shoulders relaxed, slow blinking, straight back.

"You and I both know how much you hate Moriarty. The reason he can do what he does is to pay his 'workers' next to nothing. Adam needs to be around people who are not going to hurt him, kill him, or turn him into his masters."

"So why us?"

Leo doesn't miss the way she briefly glances at him.

"The only other person I'd trust him with is Moira and I'm not sure he's ready to be subjected to her personality quite yet. Look, I've been talking to him and he's not educated but he's got a great mind for numbers and he's incredibly orderly. Take him into your bar, let him learn how to be around normal jackasses. Right now, you don't even need to pay him that much. He'll be living in my house. Wadsworth has an outstanding order to make sure my kitchen is stocked with food while I'm gone. Most of his expenses are going to be going to him learning how to live out here on his own wind. But I will expect him to get paid more as time goes on."

Andy hummed, scratching at the blonde stubble on his chin. Leo stared at him. He was actually considering this? How was she convincing him to take this gamble? "What kind of scav are we talking about?"

"Anything I pick up. I never know what I'm going to find. Actually, I'm working on a more efficient generator right now, something closer to what we had in 101 but a lot smaller. If I can get it working, I'd also be willing to sell you one before I sell the plans to Moira. Deal?" B tipped her head to the side, eyes shadowed beneath the ballcap.

Andy deliberated for a few minutes, turning things over in his mind. "Deal. But if this thing with Adam doesn't work out, I'm done."

B smiled. "That's fair." The two shook hands and Leo wondered why she looked so smug. "I have to go get him settled in. See you later, Andy." She nodded to them both.

When she turned to walk away, Leo leaped up after her, clamboring up the slope. Catching her by the arm, loosening his grip at her hissed inhale and tensed muscles, he turned her around to face him.

"Are you sure you'll be safe with him?" he asked lowly.

Her eyes narrowed and she stiffened up. "He won't be sleeping with me. He'll be in the other room. Dogmeat actually sleeps in my bed and I'm pretty sure that even if I'm a deep sleeper at home, he isn't. Plus I sleep with my switchblade under my pillow. I'll be fine."

"And if you're not?"

"I will kill him before he has a chance to do anything." The hard promise in her voice finally convinced him. She'd be okay. Maybe.

She moved to walk away and again he stopped her. "About what happened the other night-"

She shook her head, cutting him off. "It's fine. Really. We don't need to talk about it. Just forget it happened."

Normally, Leo would have agreed. The Wasteland wasn't suited for messy emotions. He flicked the brim of her cap. "Why do you wear this all the time?"

"Stop that." She batted his hand away. "If you haven't noticed, my hair is kind of bright. Obnoxiously bright, if you will. I'm trying to blend in a little."

Laughter rolled through Leo. "You couldn't blend in if you tried. You're too clean."

B opened her mouth to protest, then remembered the cold, sort of bath she'd been looking forward and glared at him. "I'm not too clean," she grumbled.

"B, you're so clean we can smell you coming."

"That's not even possible. You can't smell clean. You can smell dirt though."

"Everything smells basically the same out here except for you."

"Just because I smell normal-"

"Darlin', nothing about you is normal."

They both realized at the same time that they were standing close enough that the brim of her cap nearly brushed his forehead. "You're standing a little close, Leo." Even to her, her voice sounded a little breathless and she cleared her throat, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Are you going to run away again?" His voice was low and it sent a shiver down her spine.

Her chin lifted, defiance making its entrance. Defiance and something else. "I didn't run away."

"What was that then?" He shifted a little closer.

"What is this, Leo?" she retorted.

He searched her face, and saw heat and curiosity in her eyes but enough fear to give him pause. It was an old fear there and Leo took a step back, which forced him to be half a head shorter than she was. The relieved slump of her shoulders told him more than anything she could have said. "Do you need anything?"

She was quiet as she stared at him, eyes searching his shadowed face. "No, thank you," she finally said.

"I'll come by in the morning, make sure you're okay." He touched the brim of her hat with two fingers, before rejoining Andy, who poked him in the forehead. She stayed a few moments, watching as he glanced back at her, a pensive look on her face. Then she finished the climb up to her house.

AN: Laptop that I've been writing on this kind of broke a little so now I have to get a wifi external thingymajig for it. Yay. Hence why this was so late tonight. It's still Friday so...yay? It's been a busy week but a great one. A trip down to Vegas to see Hamilton and then back the next day. Then one day of being at home and then back on the road.

Anywho, let me know what y'all think.

And a lovely shoutout to Prinzessin Mia and .14 for following the story. Y'all rock.