A/N: Sorry for taking so long to post another chapter. Life has been happening. Work and children you know the deal! And maybe a slight binge watch of THE FLASH. I know it is my guilty pleasure. I am sorry if i have missed any mistakes, I haven't edited it because i felt guilty for making you wait for so long!
CHAPTER 20 MEETING MARIA
I have never felt as attracted to anybody as much as I have felt for Christian. His cool demeanour and rigidity mixed with a spark of playfulness and self-assuredness; I found the combination immensely alluring. No, it wasn't because we finally had sex. I'll admit I was partially in denial about how I felt. We must be the most two unusual looking puzzle pieces to fit together in the universe. I smile at small memories of his affections and attentiveness. Like placing the sunflower in my hair, brushing my hair back and tucking it behind my ear, making my cup of tea without being asked and just listening to me babble, caring enough about what I had to say. This is not the version of Voldemort that was spoken about in school and certainly not a version that has ever been seen before by anyone but me. I feel a little special when I think of it that way. It's silly. I still struggle with the guilt, but it has lessened. Dumbledore would be rolling in his grave if he knew what was going on.
Christian warned me last night as I had anticipated he would, informing me that I need to do something about Ron, or he will. I sigh as I enter the crowded lift at the Ministry. It was another huge invasion of privacy, I mean entering my bedroom without permission, while I had Christian between my legs doing outrageous things with his tongue. It's unacceptable. I feel my body heat up at the memory of Christian kissing me down there.
I don't want to have to end the friendship, but even avoiding him doesn't seem to have an effect. I just… yes, I am a loyal friend, and some would say to a fault. It feels like by yelling at him I'm rubbing my new relationship in his face and I don't want to do that. I just wish he would move on and see how happy Christian makes me. Maybe he could have that too?
I exit the lift onto my floor, and I can see Kingsley waiting over by my door, I frown. I don't remember having a meeting with Kingsley this morning. As I get closer, I see a man that is facing away from me talking to Harry and Ron standing beside him with a look of extreme distaste.
I falter….is that Christian? What is he doing here?
He turns and sees my shocked expression. His smile turns mischievous.
"Hello love", I open my mouth but then close it again. I don't want to seem unprofessional in front of Kingsley.
"Hi…what are you doing here in front of my office?", I clutched my folders that I was carrying closer to my body almost using them as a shield, for what I wasn't entirely sure.
"Well Hermione, Christian here from the American Ministry is going to be working with you as the consultant on the artefact case. He claims to know you, so I'm sure there will be no problem working together in a professional capacity?", Kingsley answered before anyone could open their mouths, I'm sure he could see the irritation slowly seeping into my expression.
My eyes darted to Christian who had a look of immense satisfaction upon his stupidly good-looking face. So, this was why he has been acting weird every time his employment was brought up, he didn't want me to know about this. I pretend to be angry and huff in mock frustration.
"Yes we are well acquainted-", then Ron cuts me off with a loud scoff and gagging noise. My expression turns deadly…if looks could kill then Ron would be dead a million times over.
"In my office now!", I point like a parent scolding a child. I guess we are going to be having the conversation I was not prepared for right now. He looks slightly hopeful, I roll my eyes is he delusional? I turn back to Kingsley who was taken aback by my outburst.
"Sorry Kingsley, just some personal issues I need to sort out with Ron. I'll keep you posted about any breakthroughs Christian and I have with the translation". He looked at me seriously.
"Just…get it sorted I don't want personal relationships to interfere with our work, ok?". I hate that I felt I was somehow letting him down. I turn my head to look at Christian and Harry. The latter was looking at me smiling and the former was clearly checking out my arse unabashed.
"Eyes up soldier" , his eyes snapped up to meet mine. I could see the pinkish tint on his cheek bones at being caught staring. I smiled broadly as I felt Kingsley squeeze my shoulder and brush pass me heading towards his office. My eyes never left Christian's. Harry laughed out loud and slapped Christian on the back, his expression shifted from blank to a soft scowl there was no effort behind it. I trailed behind the boys entering my office, my movements slow I was stalling as much as I could thinking over everything. Unfortunately, by doing that all the anger simmering rose once again to the surface.
I close my door, or I should say I closed it violently making the frame vibrate and the pictures on my wall rattle. It made Ron flinch breaking the intense staring contest he had going on with Christian. Neither Christian or Harry seemed bothered by the hot tempered display. I wasn't bothered having this conversation with Christian and Harry here, because they would end up knowing anyway.
I put my handbag and folders down first so I could collect my thoughts before turning around.
"Ron step away from Christian", I tried to keep my voice neutral but firm. I wanted to keep my anger in check because exploding at Ron would get me nowhere. Christian moved and surprisingly sat down next to Harry, the two nodding at each other, in some unspoken man code.
I shifted my gaze back to Ron who was already looking red in the face.
"Ron we need to speak about the other day. I haven't let you off the hook for that, I am just not sure how to address the issue, when I feel as though I have made my position clear in the past about your behaviour", I crossed my arms over chest. Yes it was a defensive position, but I knew that in a few seconds I will need to defend something.
"Yes, I wouldn't have expected you Hermione to have done that. Did he manipulate you into doing that? He looks like he would do that. He's turning you against Harry and I-"
"How exactly is he doing that? When you are doing a fine job at destroying the rest of this friendship "He continued on as though he hadn't heard my question.
"We don't even know anything about this guy, he looks shifty, sneaky like a Slytherin. For all we know he could be an evil villain in disguise", I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, but that last comment kind of hit a little too close to home. I turned and looked at Christian, he just had a sly smirk and winked at me. Of course he would be enjoying this. I let out a breath and looked to the ceiling for guidance on how to proceed with Ron. Much to Ron's chagrin Harry was the one who piped up in defence of Christian.
"Ron what you did was unacceptable, you're lucky Hermione hasn't hexed you into next century for that. Hell, if I was in Christian's position I would have beaten you to a pulp. The fact that he hasn't tells me that he cares about Hermione very much", I mouthed a thank you to Harry. Ron's faced turned even redder and the look that telegraphed on his face was blatant betrayal.
"Harry! Don't tell me you're now on their side? See he's turning everyone against me. Trying to replace me! I can't believe you would turn your back on me like this". Harry look flabbergasted and I felt exhausted from this conversation.
"Ron, we are not turning against you for Christ sake. You are not the one owning up to your actions. How dare you enter my bedroom without permission, especially during an intimate moment. You are not my partner Ron, not any longer. You need to accept that for everyone's sake"
"No but I could be, come back to me Hermione we can work on the issues you have, and I'll even go down on you if that's what you want", I stumbled looking for a response to that. Christian growled from the couch looking murderous.
"No..Ron. I won't. Even without Christian I wouldn't go back to you. You treated me poorly and took me for granted", I felt Christian come up behind me and pulled me too him. His warmth seeping into the many layers of clothing I had on. He was silently offering support. Ron's eyes narrowed in disgust. "It took someone else for me to realise that Ron, that this wasn't all my fault. You are mostly to blame for the situation you find yourself in", I felt around for Christian's hand and laced our fingers together. I needed this support. I could feel tears stinging my eyes like a thousand needles. It felt like our friendship was dying. And I guess in a way it was. It was illogical to believe that things could go back to the way they were.
"You can't just expect me to turn my feelings off overnight. Ok, I love you. I love you Hermione. Doesn't that mean something?", I closed my eyes briefly, trying to hold back the tears. Even now as angry as I am at him, I hesitate. I was at a loss, part of me just wanted to turn around and leave. The situation had devolved quickly.
I unlaced my fingers with Christians and brought both my hands up to rub my eyes. It was still only the morning and my body and mind were already fatigued. For me the word love doesn't get thrown around often. It is something I only say if I am sure and at important moments. I'm sure Ron loves me but the way he is using it has lost meaning.
"Ron, I know you do and I love you too, but only as a friend", I tried as much as I could to let him down gently. He was my oldest friend I just don't quite have that ruthlessness to cut him out.
"What so you love this guy now?", the tone was dripping with unrestrained derision. Christian's fingers tightened that had moved to my hip. I knew as soon as the word love made an appearance he would react.
"No Ron it's too early for that, but I could see myself having those feelings in the future. He compliments my intellectual level effortlessly and I need that. Is it too much to ask for you to be happy for me?", I know I was asking alot. But maybe if he truly loved me, he would look passed his own feelings and want me to be happy.
"I will show you! I will show both of you, that he is not the man you think he is. Mark my words", I was disappointed as I watched him walk out of my office. He still didn't get it, that he tended to make things all about himself. Not bothering to understand other people's views. He can be narrow minded when it suits.
Harry stood from the couch and begun trying to press the crinkles out of his robes with his hands. Normally Harry never did this, most of the time he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. So, I knew he was considering his next words carefully.
"I'm sorry Hermione I know that I have probably said that multiply times now, but I truly am. Eventually Ron will calm down and everything will... well not go back to normal but be easier. He just needs time and I don't worry there won't be any early morning visits", he chuckled and nodded to Christian and left. I hadn't moved but Christian's arms had now snaked around me pulling me flush against him. I leant my head back on his shoulder, his lips skimming the shell of my ear as he spoke. I could feel goose bumps break out making me shiver. I reflected on the fact that Ron's seemingly innocent touches never evoked the same physiological responses.
"Don't worry your friend will be fine, he will get over it. In time he will understand and find somebody else. Because my dear Hermione, I will not let you go. You are mine", he spoke softly but his words were like granite, a solid promise that would be difficult to break.
"Is that right" I spun around in his arms, bringing my arms up around his neck so my fingers could play with the curls at the base of his neck. I smiled cheekily. "Then I guess that means that you are mine in return". He returned my smile a glint of possessive glee in his eyes. I leaned up on my tippy toes and planted a heated kiss on his lips.
"Ok we should get some work done today now that I have help", I disentangled myself from him and walked around my desk.
"Have you decided what day you could meet Maria? I need time to organise the international floo or portkey", I looked up from the papers I was shuffling.
"I…um I was thinking that Friday would be a good idea and we stay there the night. I mean if that is ok with Maria and you….I didn't want to assume anything", I stopped myself from continuing on rambling, when I get nervous I have trouble with the verbiage that flows unimpeded.
"Hermione, it is fine why would I not want to spend the night with you?", He raised an eyebrow smirking at my embarrassment. My face must have been beet red and I stuttered. Why was it he reduced me to a bumbling school girl underneath his gaze?
"I…I…like I said..um that I don't want to assume" Could that answer be anymore lame? I started chewing on my bottom lip waiting for his response. He looked me over in cogitation. He reached over the desk seeming to have come to a decision and lifted my hand. Softly rubbing his thumb in circles over the back of my hand he answered.
"Hermione as you know I am not a man that deals in feelings very well or expressing them. We are adults, after the night and morning we shared there is no need to be shy about being with each other. We are beyond the parental figures reprimanding us and no need to feel guilty or ashamed about enjoying sex with each other. Don't act like a virginal girl when you certainly weren't shy the other day about telling me what you wanted. Own it. I enjoy being with you Hermione, don't doubt that". He continued rubbing my hand soothingly.
"I am sorry I don't know what came over me. You being older sometimes can be a little intimidating and I begin to doubt myself. I've only been with Ron and I just didn't want to make a fool out of myself", this conversation just had to shift from visiting America to this. As embarrassing as it was, it was probably good to be having this conversation. Communication was a part of why my relationship with Ron failed. I was not going to let that destroy this before it has even really begun even if I was drowning in mortification.
He sighed and carded his hand through his hair. "Hermione I may be older than you but as you know my history-" he paused and looked towards my office door. It silently closed and I could feel a muffliato go up around the room to give us privacy. "As you know my history was spent obtaining power and there wasn't a lot of time for relationships. I've been with three people in total a man and two women. I don't have a lot of experience either, this is the first real relationship I have been in. That is if that's where you want this to be going", I could see this was difficult to talk about, with the way he was grimacing at the words being ejected from his mouth. I was a little shocked, I hadn't expected him to be with a man. Personally, I had expected Voldemort to be asexual more interested in everything else but relationships and fuzzy emotions.
"I…yes I want to be with you, of course I do. Thank you for sharing that. Well you're doing a good job of it so far; you could have fooled me. If you don't mind me asking who it was?" I didn't have to elaborate on the question I knew he would know what I was asking. He cleared his throat and looked away.
"Abraxas Malfoy. It was after we had finished Hogwarts, it was an emotional time for him. He was due to be married soon not that he wanted to be. I knew he was gay during school, I'm not sure if anybody else picked up on it. His parents had recently died in some accident I don't even remember the details. He came to me one night he was never afraid of me or to let his guard down. It kind of just happened and I let it. It was my first time. We always did have a connection but being with another man in the 1940s wasn't something that happened and especially in pureblood society. I have had no desire to be with another man since then. I don't want to ruin the memory of it." he turned back to face me, and I was a little proud that he opened up like that. I don't expect it to happen very often and I need to cherish the small bits of information that he offers me. I didn't go to hug him like I would normally do with Harry or even Ron, as I could see his posture and facial expression gradually change like an invisible barrier had been erected back around him.
"Ok, well let's get some work done. Just because you're here doesn't mean we get to slack off", I tried to ease the tension with a light joke. I squeezed his hand gently and pulled back.
Maria Hoehn's house
Hewlett Bay Harbour, New York
10th January 2014
"Your house is quite amazing Maria, thank you for inviting me", I looked around the interior of the colonial style house and it was just as nice as the outside. What made it different is that it wasn't hidden in a wizarding village, or is magical house like Grimmauld place, it is just a plain muggle house situated in a normal muggle street. The house had a pleasant ambience to it, like visiting your grandmother's house. Creaky floor boards, a ticking clock and not a speck of dust anywhere. You could literally eat off the floors if you were so inclined. Following Maria out into the kitchen I became rather nervous, I could feel the faint whispers of dark magic coming from her. I knew that she practised necromancy which made me uncomfortable.
"Ahh don't worry my dear you are safe here. Christian can you set the table please and Hermione and I will finish off getting dinner ready. Let the women folk talk", she made a shooing motion with her hands and the face Christian made had me struggling to not to laugh. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to stifle any noise that may escape. His eyes flicked to mine and rolled his eyes as he turned mumbling something under his breath.
"Hermione come this way I have a job for you to do", I followed her into the kitchen looking at all the pots boiling on the stove and smelling the delicious scent wafting from the oven. "So brightest witch of her age, is working at the Ministry everything that you could have imagined?", Maria asked as she began slicing a tomato with impeccable precision. She chose to chop the tomato the muggle way rather than using magic. It was yet another thing that put me off kilter. I felt like I was thrust into an exam with no preparation, that of course was my worst nightmare.
"It has it's perks. I am allowed a certain amount of freedom with my research. I wish I could travel more or at least have the opportunity to do so. Since the war I felt trapped and I still feel the weight of those expectations upon my shoulders. Everyone expects me to be something and fit the mould of what they want me to be…" I stopped because I realised, I was rambling and perhaps giving my inner thoughts to a complete stranger.
"It's all right my dear, I'm a good listener. Is that why you are open to having a relationship with Christian? Because he bears no weight of those expectations or adds them to your shoulders? Are you with him for the right reasons…because if this is some rebellious phase or experimentation and you hurt Christian….I will not be happy and you will not like the consequences", she raised the knife she had in her hand pointed it at me. It felt a little surreal that someone was protecting the former dark lord from a broken heart. "Are we clear?" the knife slowly descended back upon the chopping board.
"I…ah…um" I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No, I'm serious about Christian this isn't some rebound either from my broken engagement. He challenges me and I like that, so no I will not intentionally hurt him. Quite frankly I am more worried about him hurting me", what I said was true, Christian at this point has the power to hurt me perhaps even more than Ron ever could.
"Good I will hold you to that, that boy needs someone to look after him. Merlin knows he struggles enough as it is on his own. Not that he would tell you of course, too much pride and ego to hide behind", that was an understatement.
I smiled as Maria went back to being the classic protective 'mother', and the threatening façade dissolving as if it never existed.
"Of course he wouldn't, he is still a man, immeasurably flawed but I find that….I am rather drawn to those pieces. The human side of him, even the dark impulses he has. Yes, there are certain aspects that I cannot handle but I guess we just have to work that out", I felt weird tip toeing around particular issues, but I wasn't sure how much Maria knows of Christian. She gave me a heart-warming smile; it was nice having some motherly affection directed at me; it made me miss my own parents. Maria handed me a salad bowl and a platter filled with various roasted vegetables to take out to the table.
"Here you go dear take these out and check on Christian make sure he has set the table correctly. He did it the opposite way before I think just to spite me. I'll be out in a minute with the roast. Oh and yes I know what you were thinking before, we don't have to tip toe around the elephant in the room and I have fed and watered it", she turned towards the oven and I just stood there like my feet where in quick dry cement. It took a few seconds for my brain the process the words. She knew…she knew. Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to worry so much about the secret from slipping out. The other part was on the fence. She didn't seem like she would out him if only mere moments ago she was threatening me from hurting him.
I managed to drag myself in to the dining room still in my head, that I nearly walked right past the dining table, until I felt a firm grip on my shoulder.
"Hey, you nearly walked past. What are you thinking about?", his husky voice filled the silence in the room even though he was whispering in my ear. I looked up into his eyes as he took the salad bowl out of my left hand.
"Maria knows", was all I could articulate. The smile he gave was blinding.
"I like it when your face scrunches up like that, it's cute. But yes, she does know she figured it out all on her own, it was mutually unconfirmed, but she is a smart woman".
"Ok. I just wasn't sure how much to give away if she didn't know. However, her threats where enough indication that she would adore you either way" I responded as I placed the platter of vegetables down the table. That's when I noticed on the other side of the room a large easel set up with a very large portrait covered with a pale green velvet cloth. I was intrigued.
"That's a surprise for after diner if you can wait that long", his hands circled my hips and he rested his chin on my shoulder. An affectionate gesture that was becoming a common course of action of late - I loved it. He wasn't generally a 'touchy feely' person, but his little touches often sufficed the human contact I needed.
"Surprises, I usually hate surprises. I loathe being under prepared you know that. This is going to kill me not knowing what is behind that cloth. It's not for me is it?", it was going to bug me to no end not knowing. He chuckled and walked over to the portrait- well what I assumed to be a portrait.
"It sort of is but isn't. When you see you'll understand", I frowned in bemusement.
"Ok…." again he smiled but there was something in it I couldn't place like a hidden joke or secret only he understood. Which was stupid really because he knew what this was, and I didn't.
"Are you ready Hermione?", it wasn't going to blow up in my face was it? Why all the suspense? And then he ripped the cloth off like a seasoned magician. Full flourish and all.
It took probably minutes for me to understand what the fuck I was looking at. I think even my heart stopped for a second perhaps longer. I gaped and then looked at him and he was smirking. Was this some kind of sick joke? My breathing became shallower like I couldn't quite take a full breath, doctors or health professionals would most likely say that I am hyperventilating. I bent over clutching my chest, desperate now to take in oxygen. I couldn't get the portrait out of my head, the faces and piercing stares of..
James and Lily Potter