8. Learnin' the Blues
But you can't forget her - soon you even stop tryin'
You'll walk that floor - and wear out your shoes
When you feel your heart break - you're learnin' the blues
The Wests' bodies had been taken out of their home, burned or buried B didn't know. Hadn't asked. But she'd found no sign of the Family at any of the locations Evan King had suggested, though she had found a ghoul that wanted Sugar Bombs for a reason that still didn't make sense to her, and so here she was, sitting on the floor just next to the door, head in her palm.
"I just don't know, Dogmeat," she murmured with a heavy sigh. At the sound of his name, the dog thumped his tail on the floor. "I mean, I like him and he makes sure I'm okay, but after the Butch thing, I don't know if I like him for him or because he's taking care of me. You know?"
He rolled over, showing her his belly. She smiled despite the pensive mood she'd been in, reached over, and gave him belly rubs. Then she returned her gaze to the blood streaked floor. She was almost alarmed that a blood streaked floor didn't even faze her anymore but she just sighed again.
"Oh, Dogmeat. Everything would be so much easier if we- Wait." Her hand stopped moving and after a few moments, Dogmeat rolled back over and put a paw on her knee, thumping his tail again. She ignored him, standing up and going over to a section of the floor that had something black streaked into the floor alongside the dried blood. B knelt, reaching down to touch it. She rubbed her fingers together slowly. "Soot. Soot!" Soot like this came from the combustion of coal to make steam, the primary power source before nuclear fission and fusion. Which meant an old train station, two hundred year compensation and it would still be old, but outside and not a subway station. The Family lived in an old train station. Finally an end to this.
She scrambled out of the Wests' residence, completely forgetting to shut the door. "Evan! Evan King!" The man turned from his lookout post when she slid to a halt beside him. "Are there any train stations around here? For actual trains, not necessarily in a subway?" She didn't bother trying to explain. Most people couldn't keep up.
"Just the one that I know of. It's called, oh, what's the name…" Evan King scratched his chin as he thought.
"Meresti?" The trainyard where she'd met Adam. She'd seen the rail cars, but hadn't thought… Hadn't known the information then.
"That's the one! Good job, missy! Eh, why did you need to know?" He stared at her, frowning. His whole face sort of dropped forward and if she wasn't riding an intellectual, light bulb sort of high, she might have giggled
As it was, she couldn't hold back the bright grin as she stared down at him. "Because I know where the Family is."
Dogmeat woofed, tail wagging. B tapped the brim of her hat and then she was gone.
Unlike nearly every other trip she'd taken across the Wasteland, this one was uneventful save for a couple of of Bloatflies. With her shoulder almost fully healed except for a ropy scar, she enjoyed the way they'd exploded in a squishy mess when she hit them with her bat. What she did not appreciate overmuch was the goo on her face that almost immediately began stinging where it touched the disfiguring scar. She gripped her bat between her thighs and wiped the goo off with her fingertips. She flicked her hands to splatter most of it on the ground. Her Pip-boy gave a few half-hearted clicks.
She looked down at her hands and a wry smile curled her mouth. There were a few new calluses from shooting practice and a few new scars. The one from the stab wound was particularly noticeable but mostly healed. A stab wound. B heaved out a breath, almost a chuckle. "I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore, Toto." She leaned down to wipe her hands on the lower legs of her suit. "Come on, Dogmeat."
When they arrived at Meresti, she was covered in dust from a slip down some rocks and her foot ached. Blood still splattered the ground where she'd killed the molerats the days before. They took a moment to scout out the area and found nothing, though B wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. She paused, tipping her head to the side. "If I were the Family, where would I be hiding?" Inside the train cars would be too vulnerable. She'd heard Three Dog on the radio say something about super mutants and from a conversation between Billy Creel and Jericho she'd overheard, they were huge and dumb for the most part but dangerous. Wastelanders trying to live safe wouldn't be dumb enough to expose themselves like that. They'd be pinned down like whatever passed for meat in a can of Cram. I really need to ask Billy what they look like.
Instead she turned her attention to the building. One eyebrow lifted and she took a couple steps back. Door. She whistled and Dogmeat came to her side. B took a moment for her eyes to adjust, crouching low near the floor, hand tangled in Dogmeat's fur. He remained still, nose lifted to scent the air, only moving when she began to creep through the tunnels.
The way forward was blocked, deliberately or by collapse over the years she didn't know. What she did know was she had to go left. She and Dogmeat carefully skirted a metal trap but the baby carriage in front of her had her head tipping to the side.
When the sound of a baby crying reached her, she was moving forward before logic could caution her. A foot away, she heard a low ticking under the cries and blinking red lights in the carriage. Dogmeat grabbed a hold of her arm, whining and trying to drag her away.
Two precious seconds passed. B's eyes widened as she remembered Minefield. She grabbed Dogmeat and threw them both back as the mine exploded. The force of the explosion shoved her a couple extra feet, almost dropping her in the metal claw trap they'd avoided scant heartbeats before. Heat and shrapnel washed over them, one piece nicking her over her right eyebrow.
She sat there, arms wrapped around Dogmeat, eyes wide, feeling stunned. One tear fell, then another. She buried her face in Dogmeat's fur to smother the choked sobs that wrenched through her body. A deep primitive longing for 101 and its inhabitants gripped her.
"I can't go back. I can't go back. I can't go back." A low keening wail broke from her throat. At that moment, had she been able to, she'd have given just about anything to go back to the Vault and not have to live in a world where there were booby-trapped baby carriages. Baby carriages made to sound like there were abandoned children in them.
It took her precious time to get herself calmed down but she wasn't sure any amount of time would be enough to make her not feel the gnawing bottomless pit of grief in her soul, such a vast difference from the high she'd been riding up to this point.
The nick was still bleeding so she used the rag that was forever in her back pocket and pressed it to the wound. That made it sting but she used her other hand to wipe away what was left of the
Whatever otherworldly being was left in this godforsaken world was watching over B after that. None of the remaining traps did much damage after that. Even the swinging lump of Brahmin only clipped her shoulder. It would leave a bruise but one bruise she figured she could live with.
Emotionally, she was completely drained. When she found a gun pointed at her face, she felt only a vague stutter of fear. "Are you part of the Family?"
"What's it to ya?"
"I have a letter for Ian. I know he's here."
The guard hesitated before lowering his weapon and stepping aside. "We'll be watching you." The growled threat was not lost on B but all she could muster was a tired shrug.
She kept going through the tunnels, following the sounds of voices, and laughter. "I'm looking for Ian." Her voice echoed slightly.
Heads turned in her direction, eyes bright in the reflected light. Dogmeat, close at her side, gave a soft grump.
"You're new. I thought I knew everyone in the Family. I'm Justin." The one nearest to her hopped over a bench and stuck his hand out.
"B but I'm not part of the Family. I'm just looking for someone." She had the sense that she'd just stepped into a radscorpion nest and the slightest misstep would cause major trouble for all involved parties. Well, mostly her. Almost exclusively her. Carefully, she placed her right hand in his and shook.
"How the hell'd you find us, anyway?" Another man circled up close, curious. Her left hand began to tremble and she quickly clenched it into a fist.
"There was soot in a house in Arefu." The people exchanged quick glances with each other and B curled in on herself a little before forcing herself to not show that fear. She knew that she was only trading one set of tells for another but "I figured it could only come from a train station and Meresti was the only one close enough that wasn't solely a metro station."
"You'll want to talk to Vance, then." A woman that immediately reminded B of Nova with slanted blue eyes jerked her chin upwards. B followed her gaze to see a man in a long coat looking down on them.
She took a deep breath, lifted her head, and headed toward him. "It is not often we have visitors from the outside world." He peered at her with interest though not the kind that made her skin crawl. "Welcome to our home. My people call me Vance. I lead this group of weary travelers and outcasts who need a home. And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
B hesitated, cautious but curious. He sounded kind of ridiculous, like in an old vid. "This place isn't like other settlements I've visited."
Vance smiled warmly, proudly. "What you see before you is the last bastion of hope for the downtrodden and misunderstood. It is a sanctuary for the oppressed and a beacon of hope for the tyrannized." He gestured out to the station floor, at the people. "We are the remnants of society cast aside like the clean-picked bones of a hunter's feast. I led my flock beneath the sun-baked sands of the Wasteland to keep them safe and to teach them my ways." He reminded B of the Overseer but there was a kindness to this man where there hadn't been to Amata's father. Still, the aggrandizing? Not a fan. "Men of science would call us cannibals, eaters of human flesh. Society labels us monsters, demons, and the unclean." A chill ran down B's spine and she suddenly worried about what she'd gotten herself into. Though, now the marks on the Wests' bodies suddenly made sense despite the fact that there was still something not quite adding up, something itching in the back of her mind.
"I know what you are," she said quietly, fear she couldn't quite disguise showing in the tension between her eyebrows.
Vance saw the fear and disappointment crossed his face. "Oh? You do, do you?"
She hesitated, seeing the disappointment and feeling the need to bolt coil more strongly in her gut.
At her hesitation, he smiled though the expression was more than half bitter. "I am afraid that the knowledge required to appreciate our true nature is far above your level of comprehension." Her spine stiffened and the fear gave way to indignation.
"Wait a minute." She paused, trying to figure out what she was most irritated about. "Teaching your ways implies that there is something wrong with what they're doing in the first place. So you're reforming them."
Vance smiled, amused, and shook his head. "Your words illustrate why the hardships persist for my people. Reforming implies something is wrong with them and needs to be eliminated. I think of my teachings as more of an improvement, a way to transcend our cannibalistic nature."
"An improvement on cannibalism." Fifteen shades of crazy. But he didn't seem crazy. She pulled back, not wanting anything close to a fight. She was the outsider. She'd get the blame.
"Yes."
B lifted an eyebrow. Okay, then. Down the rabbit hole we go. "If, and that's a hypothetical if because this seems kind of crazy and I grew up in a Vault with all kinds of crazy, but if I accept that you're no longer cannibals, then what do I call you?"
Vance was still amused but she had impressed him somehow. "Your open-mindedness is very rare for a human. I find that fascinating." Do you become something other than human when you're a cannibal, B wanted to ask but bit her tongue against the question. "Allow me to bolster your insight with a lesson in objectivity. I say we are no longer cannibal, only consuming the blood of our prey. What would that make us in your eyes?"
"A vampire. But that would be ridiculous since they don't exist." She shrugged. "I don't know what else to call you."
"Then that is a mystery you will have to solve on your own." The humor died and she stared at Vance. "In ceremony, each member of the Family must speak one of the Laws. It is theirs to remember and enforce. Perhaps from these Laws you can discover what we are. Return to me when you are ready." He turned and it was as effective a dismissal that B had ever heard.
Her gaze flicked down to the people below. One on one, they shouldn't be too bad and she felt reassured when she looked down to see Dogmeat sitting at her feet, tongue lolling out. He would protect her.
One by one, she spoke with the members of the Family, learned their names, and realized that they were probably the most civilized people that she'd encountered since she left the Vault. It was while speaking to Holly, Vance's wife, that B caught sight of a computer to the side of the room. Holly followed her eyes. "If you need more information, you can look."
B turned back to the older woman and didn't understand the sad, sympathetic smile she received. Still, she dipped her head and thanked her.
At the computer, she got the same information about the Laws that the Family had told her and she gave a little snort at the idea that they actually had them memorized. It was almost cult-like but these people didn't seem fanatical in anyway. And she grew up in the Vault. She knew fanatical. But the word "Arefu" caught her attention and she opened the file. Her eyes flicked over the words. Cold washed down her back as she realized what had happened and she sat back in the chair, stunned. A cold nose on her hand roused her and she clicked out, mind spinning.
At the top of the weird stairs once more, she faced Vance. "Well, what have you learned?" he asked, voice a little breathless, like he was waiting for something.
"Okay. You asked me what I thought you were. But really? Do you really believe that you're vampires?"
Disappointment radiated from Vance. "Do you think I believe I can turn into a bat and fly away? Of course not. Do I cast my image in a mirror?" Dignity, or perhaps indignity, seemed to wrap around the Wastelander like a coat. "Now ask me if I believe these individuals from every corner of the Wasteland need me to give them a sense of identity and purpose. I have shown these people the ways of the vampire. I've provided them shelter, organization, and a sense of belonging." His voice, so measured and calm before, had started to rise and B immediately thought of the people below who would surely defend Vance if they thought he was threatened. Cult even if they seemed normal and non-fanatical. Still a cult.
Her left hand began to tremble and she clenched it into a fist to hide the shaking. "So you do that by convincing them that they're mythical creatures."
Anger flashed across his face and B barely managed to hold her ground, the ghost of a slap blooming on her cheek, a mere memory but one that had reached deep and scarred. "Now you disappoint me. You need to open your mind and think before you pass judgement." He leaned in closer and B's jaw tightened. "I have reigned in their cravings and taught them to eat not of the flesh but to drink of the blood. Most importantly, they have a Family. A place where their quirks are tolerated and accepted."
B watched him as the temper smoothed out and in its place returned the man she'd first met. Still, that didn't make her feel entirely better. But...she did understand the need for a family. And Lucy needed hers. "I get that. Believe me, I do. But why and how is that different than eating people? Cannibalism itself causes all sorts of problems and there are all sorts of blood transmitted diseases that I'm fairly certain run rampant out here."
Vance studied her and B lifted her chin despite the trembling in her left hand. "You are genuinely curious."
"Of course I am. You're...reformed cannibals. And I don't mean that in the something is wrong with them way," she added when he stiffened, eyes narrowing. "I mean that in the no longer that type of way. Revised. You say you aren't cannibals. Fine. And since you didn't immediately pounce on me or try to convince me that all of you are normal, despite the lack of time in the information I have, I don't believe you'll feed on me or even hurt me unless the situation warrants it."
"You have a scientist's mind." Something about that pleased Vance and B found herself relaxing a little.
"Yeah, my dad...he's a doctor. And I was an engineer in the Vault, if you want to call my position that. I learned bits of just about everything but if you give me electronics and pipes, there's no one better."
"Indeed. Would you mind, then, if we borrowed your services? Our generator has been acting up and it would be...unfortunate if it failed."
"Of course. But not until I've done what I came here to do."
He tilted his head to the side. He had to look up at her, nearly everyone out here did, but it didn't negate the way he wrapped himself in control and authority. "Which is?"
"I'm looking for someone. His name is Ian West."
Vance smiled and she couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing. "Ah, yes. My newest charge. What would you want with him?"
"I have a letter for him, from his sister. It's taken me a ridiculously long time to find him."
"Then a part of his human family still remains? Even more of a reason he needs to remain in isolation."
"Is this because of the Arefu incident?" For a moment, startled that she'd be that bold, they both stared at each other. Then his chin dipped in a slow nod, reluctant to admit it, maybe.
"Ian is at a critical moment in his life right now. After all that occurred in Arefu, he is scared and confused. It would be ill advised for me to allow you to speak with him while he decides what to do."
"Vance, where is he? I just want to talk to him, and Dogmeat and I can take care of ourselves."
He lifted an eyebrow, amusement or surprise lingering there. "Ian's hunger for flesh overwhelmed him and it drove him to kill his parents. Because of my intervention that night he stopped just short of being lost forever to his cravings for flesh." Matching boldness for boldness. B would have been lying if she said the honesty hadn't taken her aback.
"And you covered it up by blaming it on the Family. I already figured that out. It doesn't change the fact that I need to talk to him and give him the letter from his sister."
He smiled again, warmer than the last one. "I suppose I shouldn't condone your invasion but it is rare to find such initiative."
"So Ian killed his parents because he got," she hesitated on the word, "hungry." She paused, not entirely sure how Vance would take her next question. "Does that mean he's an actual cannibal and not just whatever you guys are?"
The smile faded. "I am telling you he will no longer be labeled as such. He has become one of us, a member of the Family. The hunger that drives us must be kept in check. It is one of the most difficult things to teach. Ian lost control because there was no one around to guide him. His own family was alien to him."
"He knows a different way now, right?" B saw the acknowledgement on his face and pressed on. "I'm not going to pretend I understand all of this and some of it is honestly kind of crazy. But I am not going back to his sister and tell her that I can't give it to her because you won't let me see him. I am not doing that. I will give him this letter whether or not you give me permission because he deserves to know and Lucy deserves this contact. Family deserves to be around each other and you are not the only one he has."
B didn't realize that her voice had gotten louder until Holly came over and rested a hand on her shoulder. B flinched out from underneath it but the woman didn't seem to mind. Instead, when B looked over, she had a broad grin on her face. "I think you might have met your match, Vance."
"Ian needs-"
"Ian needs his sister's love." Holly tipped her head up to look at B. "I assume that's why you are so determined to get it to him?"
"She's worried about him. He didn't send a letter to her when he was supposed to and she wants to make sure he's okay. And I'm not leaving without being able to tell her I've seen him and he's fine."
"See? Besides, you tend to reward the kind of loyalty she's showing. I don't see what the issue is."
She lifted an eyebrow, daring Vance to contradict her. Finally, he sighed. "I still do not think this is a good idea. But you may go and speak to Ian. Second room on the left."
B smiled at them both, tipping her hat. "Thank you. Come on, Dogmeat. We have a letter to finally deliver."
Exhaustion dragged the lines of her shoulders as she walked away but tension still lingered in the stiffness of her spine as she turned her back to Vance and Holly.
She walked deeper into the station, the entire Family between her and the exit.
AN: Hands down the longest chapter yet, guys. Almost 4k of just the chapter not including this little note. So long. And during the revision session for this chapter, which started off painfully long, it became even longer. So, here I am, gleefully staring at nearly 4k (seriously, I was fifty words off. Do you know how easy it is to add 50 words in). Hope you enjoyed them. I'm pretty sure that my FBI agent shook his head in exasperation because google topics for the week were the Site (it's called like the Idaho National Laboratory or some ridiculous something. We don't call it that if we're native to the region. It's just the Site) which if things had gone slightly better, they'd be the reason things were fully run on atomic energy. Seriously. Look up Arco, Idaho. First town to be solely powered by nuclear reactors. The Site is super cool and so few people know about it. And because I'm tired right now and can't form proper sentences, the other weird thing I googled was the effects of cannibalism and prion illnesses. Yeah. Because those are normal research topics.
Next week might be a little weird. I'm going camping and might not have time to update. If I don't, I'll be updating on Saturday. Or I might just skip a week. If you're actually interested in reading this, you might follow the story for the week and then if you don't care that much, you can unfollow. I won't feel bad or hurt because I gave you permission to do that.
Anyway, as always, an ask for people to tell me what you think. Chapter and song lyrics from Learnin' the Blues by Frank Sinatra. Ol' Blue Eyes. I watched an archived video of him and Elvis singing a duet thing together. Frank sang Love Me Tender and Elvis sang Witchcraft. Elvis looked like he was trying his damnedest to not fangirl on stage. It was kind of adorable.