Key:
Normal text is for the reactions of the Freelancers and their host
Bold is the footage they are watching
Bold, Italic, and Underline together denote song lyrics
[Text in Brackets denotes Maine using the tablet Ivan gave him]
-Line Break-
"I don't know what the technical military term is for it, but, uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!"
-Lavernius Tucker, RvB
-Line Break-
After making absolutely sure that Flowers was okay and wasn't going to freak out again, everyone settled down, but before Ivan could start the next episode, his phone rang.
"Hello?" he answered after checking who it was, "Really? Ok, send it over and I'll give it to him." Hanging up the phone, Ivan then held out his hand. Suddenly, there was a small burst of smoke and fire and a small plushie dropped into his outstretched hand.
"Flowers, package for you, catch." the prince said, tossing the plush to the Freelancer. The plushie was easily caught and the Freelancers were able to get a good look at it.
"Is… is that a Church plush?" Connie asked, recognizing the Mjolnir armor and the sky-blue coloration.
"Yup," responded Ivan, "The sender wanted Flowers to feel better about what he just had to watch, so they sent that."
"Well, I would like to thank them very much." Flowers smiled.
"And I'm sure they appreciate it." said Ivan, "Now, let's get started." and with that, he started the episode.
*Begin Episode 10*A Shadow of His Former Self
Radio noises can be heard as the camera fades in, revealing Caboose crouching beside Tucker.
"Come in, Blue Command." Tucker said into the radio, "This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?"
"Okay, that is the last of it." Caboose said as he stood up, "Your armor is clean now!"
"Did you get all the black stuff off?" asked Tucker as more radio noises can be heard.
"He just said your armor was clean." Connie pointed out. No one bothered to point out they couldn't hear her.
The camera then cuts to Vic sitting at his control panel.
"This is Blue Command. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha." he replied.
"Hello, Command! We need help!" Tucker said desperately.
"Roger that, Blood Gulch. What is your request?" asked Vic.
"I don't know what the technical military term is for it, but, uh, we're pretty fucked up down here." responded the aqua soldier, "We need men!" hearing this made Vic pause a moment before answering.
"…Dude, how long have you guys been down there?"
"Are you kidding me?" South threw up her hands, "Is even the supposed 'Command' of this quote unquote 'army' a joke?" Flowers, meanwhile, blinked. Why was Vic acting like that? He didn't remember his personality being programmed that way.
"No, no, no, n-not like that!" Tucker replied frantically, "We need more men to help us."
"Roger that. Did you get the tank we sent?" Vic checked.
"Yeah, that got blown up too."
"Wow. Sucks to be you." Vic said bluntly.
"Yeah, we know."
"Okay, here's what I can do. The nearest Blue forces can be there in 16 days, or I-" Vic said, before being interrupted.
"16 days!?" Tucker cried incredulously, "That's almost 2 weeks!"
South buried her face in her hands.
"These guys are going to give me an aneurysm from sheer stupidity." North gave her a consolatory pat on the back.
"OR" Vic continued, "I can hire a nearby Freelancer and get him there within a few hours."
"I like the 'in an hour' one." Caboose put in his two cents.
"Yeah, me too." agreed Tucker, "Roger that, Command. We prefer the quicker solution."
"10-4, Blood Gulch. We'll contact Freelancer Tex and have them there post-haste. Command out." replied Vic as he cut off the transmission.
"Finally Tex is going to show up!" York shouted.
"…Did that Vic guy just call you a dude?" Ivan pointed out.
"What?" asked Tex.
"Vic, he referred to you as a 'him'." To prove his point, the prince rewound the video a short bit. Hearing the part that Ivan was referring to, Tex chose not to comment.
"Whoever he is, make sure he can fix a tank." Tucker added.
"What's a Freelancer?" asked the Blue rookie.
"Freelancers are independent." the aqua soldier explained, "They're not Red or Blue. They're just guns for hire who'll fight for whoever has the most money."
"Like a mercenary." Caboose pointed out.
"Mercenaries?" Ivan asked, tilting his head to the side, "I knew you guys were called the Freelancers, but I didn't know the name was so literal."
"I'm sure it gets explained later." said North.
"Right. Or like your mom when the rent's due." Tucker jabbed.
"…Oh, that's funny." Caboose said after a moment.
"Yeah?" asked Tucker, "You didn't think that was too obvious?"
"No, no, not at all. It- It was good." replied Caboose. Then, a ghostly image of Church faded into view between Tucker and Caboose.
"Tucker…" Church called out in a ghostly voice, "Tucker…"
Everyone but Tex, Maine, and Flowers stared at the screen in shock.
Wait a minute! they (not including Ivan) thought Is he…?
"Who the hell are you!?" cried the aqua trooper.
"I am the ghost of Church, and I've come back with a warning!" the ghost of Church replied.
"You're not Church! Church is blue. You're white!" the Blue rookie pointed out.
"Rookie, shut up, man!" Church said, frustrated and dropping the ghost voice, "I'm a freakin' ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?"
"Yeah, that's definitely him." Tucker confirmed.
"Now I gotta start over again." Church grumbled before clearing his throat and going back into his ghost voice, "Tucker… Tucker…! I've come back with a warning!"
"Is it really necessary to do the voice?" questioned Tucker.
"Yeah, it's kinda annoying." agreed Caboose.
"Do you know any ghosts?" Connie asked Ivan.
"Yes, why?" he replied.
"Do any of them speak like that?"
"Only when they're making fun of, or bitching about, how they're portrayed in some media."
"Fine." Church said, dropping the ghost act again, "Okay, here's the deal: I've come back from the dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let-"
"What's the warning?" Caboose interrupted.
"Shut up for one second and I'll tell you!" snapped Church.
"Oh, sorry."
"Seriously, man. I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. Do you think this is easy? It's not." Church ranted, "It's not like, just, you know, pop in and out whenever I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration."
If it weren't for the fact that I saw how he died, I'd be surprised he's even back at all. Thought Ivan.
"Sorry." Caboose apologized again.
"I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with but now I come back and I can't get a word in edgewise, man." Church took a deep breath, "Okay, here's the deal-"
"Is this the warning?" the Blue rookie interrupted again.
"Alright, that's it. I swear to god, Caboose, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you."
"Yeah, you're even starting to bug me." agreed the aqua soldier.
"Shouldn't you be telling Tucker to not be so hard on Caboose or something?" Connie asked Flowers, catching him off guard.
"Well, uh, Caboose would technically need to be punished for the team-kill…" he trailed off, toying with the Church plushie and trying to think of an excuse. He wasn't 'mad' per se, but he still wasn't happy about how Caboose almost damaged or, heaven forbid, destroyed the Alpha.
"Who cares." South interjected, drawing an annoyed look from Connie.
"Okay, Tucker. You remember that I told you that I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right?" asked the ghost of Church.
"No." Tucker said bluntly.
"Sidewinder? Isn't that the ice planet?" the Blue rookie pointed out.
"Yes." responded Church
"Cool! What was that like?" Caboose asked excitedly.
"Um.. it was cold." Church's ghost said bluntly.
"That's it?" Caboose pressed, "Just cold?"
"What do you want from me? A poem?" Church asked, annoyed, "It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's really.. fuckin'.. Cold."
[Can confirm.] Maine piped up.
"Will you just let him talk?" Tucker asked the blue soldier. Hoping that he would be receiving no further interruptions from Caboose, Church began his story.
"Alright, well…" Church began to narrate, the camera fading to a view of the Blue Base on Sidewinder, "One day, when I was there, everything was just like normal. I remember.. I was out on patrol with my partner, Jimmy. That Jimmy was a real good kid. Everybody liked him."
"D'ya think I was a good kid, Church?" asked Tucker.
"Tucker, don't get jealous, man. Just listen to the story, okay?" the ghost chided the aqua soldier lightly, "Like I said, the guys were hanging around, waiting for some action, bitching about the cold…"
"Man, it's fucking cold." said one of the Sidewinder Blues.
"I hope we get some action." agreed another.
"Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me all about this girlfriend he had back home."
"Yep, as soon as I get back, I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask her to marry me." said a soldier, speaking in a highland southern accent.
"And that's when Tex showed up." A soldier in active camouflage moves in front of Jimmy and Church.
"Private Mickey was the first to go. He was halfway across the base when all of sudden he started screaming bloody murder…"
"Bloody murder!" one of the soldiers shouted, spinning in circles and shooting wildly, "Bloody murder!"
Everyone sweat drops at the soldier's cry.
The camera cuts to a Blue soldier firing an Assault Rifle being hit from behind by a camouflaged Tex.
"The whole thing was over before it even started." The camera cuts to Tex killing another Blue, before switching to Jimmy and Church firing their guns.
"Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head, and beat him to death with it." The description of the death resulted in the camera cutting from the flashback back to Tucker at Blood Gulch.
"Wait a second.." The aqua soldier questioned, "how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible."
"Seriously?" York asked, turning to Tex, "You did all that?"
"I don't remember any of this." Tex frowned. Flowers remained silent, thinking back to when the Alpha was first implanted into Private Jimmy.
"That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming." Church replied. The camera then cuts to Tex hitting Jimmy with his own skull.
"This doesn't seem physically possible!" the Sidewinder Blue screams, before he collapses to the ground, dead, "Hurk! Bleh…"
Everyone sweat drops again, harder.
The camera then cuts back to Blood Gulch.
"Bottom line is, these Freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst." Church finished.
"Well, fuck you, too." York grumbled.
"Prick." agreed South. Maine, Wyoming, and Tex all remained silent and acknowledged the fact that they do end up putting these guys through a ton of shit in the future.
"If he's such a bad-ass, why didn't he kill you?" Asked Caboose. The camera then cuts to Church standing alone on Sidewinder, then panning out to reveal the ground covered in blood and corpses.
"To tell ya, I don't know why I'm not dead." admitted the ghost of Church, "Coulda killed me at any point. ...But maybe it's because Tex and I have run into each other once before."
"Where?" asked Tucker.
"You, uh.. you remember that girl I told you about, back home? Well, let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married." Church explained.
Everyone but Tex blinked and turned to stare at her. Tex simply continued to watch.
"Guys, I'm fading fast, and I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning. Don't let Tex get involved here." Church insisted.
"Okay." said Tucker.
" I mean it, Tucker. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it…" Church warned one last time before fading away.
"So..!" Tucker turned to Caboose, "Tex and Church were after the same girl."
"I told you his girlfriend was a slut." said Caboose
Tex buried her face in her hands.
Goddammit Caboose she thought, remembering back to how the Blue soldier wasn't even aware that she had been standing right behind him when he said that. At least she ended up getting payback.
The camera than panned back, revealing Tex standing behind Tucker and Caboose, before the screen fades to black.
*End Episode*
Tex turns and sees everyone staring at her.
"What?"
"Nothing! Just…" Connie trailed off.
"Didn't know you swung that way." offered York, causing Tex to facepalm.
"I don't."
"Hey, we're not going to judge. It's okay if you're into-" North said before being cut off.
"I said it's not like that." Tex interrupted, "What it is is that- you know what? Ivan, just play the next episode." Ivan said nothing, instead opting to shrug and comply.
*Begin Episode 11*Knock Knock. Who's There? Pain.
The camera fades in to Sarge and Grif standing next to the Warthog, which is now on its side behind Red Base. Lopez is crouched over it, repairing it, as evidenced by the socket wrench heard in the background.
"And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and.. shit just started blowin' up. I don't know." the orange soldier sighed as he finished his explanation. Sarge exhales in exasperation.
"Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?" the Red Sergeant asked.
"I-I don't know," the orange soldier stammered, "uh, like, uh, what.. ten, ten.. twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, you-you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?"
"Probably." everyone chorused.
"Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya." Sarge replied, indicating the brown soldier behind him. Upon hearing this, Lopez stopped working and stood up to face Grif.
"Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really, really sorry here, and-" Grif tried to amend, only for Lopez to put down his tool and pull out a gun.
"Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi." counted Sarge.
"Less talking, more running." York advised.
"Okay, uh, I guess I better get going then." said Grif as he began to back away.
Lopez and Sarge looked at each other, then turned and started firing at Grif off screen.
"Hey guys, that's not funny! Somebody could get hurt here." Grif called from off screen. The camera then cuts to the top of Blue Base, where Tex is firing at something while Tucker stood next to them, finishing his explanation on the current situation.
"That's basically it, sir. They have five guys over there and a big jeep." summed up the aqua soldier.
"And your flag." Tex added, their voice heavily distorted, as they reloaded.
"Right, that too." Tucker admitted as Tex threw a grenade at something.
"Uh, hey, Tex?" asked Tucker, "I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here." The camera then panned to reveal Tex had been firing at Caboose.
"I'm scared." said the Blue rookie as he stood completely still, surrounded by bullet marks on the wall behind him.
Everyone looks at Tex again as she smiles at the memory.
Tex then goes to look over various weapons, and Caboose runs over to the black and aqua troopers.
"So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see." Tucker pointed out, "Were you in the Special Forces at some point?" Tex did not respond, and instead just looked at Tucker while reloading a gun.
"Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th-" Tucker tried to continue before Tex ran off.
"Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later." The aqua trooper called.
"I don't think he likes you." Caboose whispered loudly.
"I don't like him, either." Connie and South said at the same time, causing the two to glare at each other again.
"...Thanks." Tucker replied sarcastically. The pair of Blue soldiers then ran to the edge of the base.
"Where are you going?" Tucker asked.
"Red Base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back." The black mercenary replied curtly.
"Oh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans.. Porter…" Caboose replied, uncertainty in his voice. The camera then cuts to Grif on top of Red Base.
"So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because somebody didn't believe in it." said the orange soldier, turning to look pointedly at Simmons
3… 2… 1… Everyone counted down mentally.
"Bullshit." denied the maroon trooper.
There it is. Everyone thought.
"He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges."
"Hey, since I captured the flag, d'ya think they'll give me my own color armor now?" asked Donut, who was still holding the flag.
"What do you mean 'captured'?" asked Simmons, "You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot."
"Still, you think there's a shot?" the rookie pressed.
"Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog." joked the maroon trooper.
"Hyeah," Grif laughed long, before a sort of realization hit him, "heh-wait... You don't.. You don't think they'd do that, do you?"
"Armor color really matters to these guys, huh." Ivan noted.
"These things are titled 'Red vs Blue', surely you must have expected color to be something of an important matter." Wyoming pointed out, holding up the Season 1 case to prove his point. When Ivan did not respond the mustachioed Freelancer smirked and turned back to the video.
The camera then cuts to Sarge standing behind Lopez and watching him fix the Warthog/Puma as a socket wrench is heard in the background.
"Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingy there." Sarge suggested, causing Lopez to stop and stand up.
"I think that's what's makin' that rattle." the sergeant continued. Lopez wordlessly turned to face Sarge.
"Word of advice," said Wyoming, "Don't tell other people how to do their job. I know I hate it when that happens to me."
"I think I'll let you do it." Lopez returned to his work. Meanwhile a shimmer can be seen as an invisible Tex runs by behind them.
"What the...?" Sarge seemed to sense something, "What was that?" he wondered when he saw nothing. The camera cuts to Grif.
"Simmons, what's going on? What's over there?"
"I thought I saw something for a second." Simmons replied, looking over the edge of the base. The camera then pans down to reveal the invisible Tex, before cutting back to Grif.
"Hey rookie, tuck the flag someplace safe until we can figure out what's goin' on." the orange soldier instructed.
"Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway." said Donut, before turning and dropping the flag into the middle of the base.
"So much for that flag being so important if he's just gonna toss down into the base like that." Ivan grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.
The camera then cuts to Tex, then back to Grif and Simmons as they look off the edge of the base.
"Did you hear that?" asked the maroon soldier.
"Yeah."
"Hey! What's going on?" whispered Donut. The camera cuts back to Tex, who throws a plasma grenade, then to a view of Grif and Simmons from behind as Grif turns around.
"What the fuck?" said the confused soldier. The camera cuts to reveal Donut with the plasma grenade stuck to his helmet.
"Not cool, Tex." said York as he touched the scar on his face.
"Sorry." Tex mumbled in response. Wyoming and Maine shifted uncomfortably.
"What?" asked the Red rookie. Simmons then turns around as well.
"What is that thing?" he wondered.
"Again with the underwhelming reactions." muttered Connie, "Do you seriously not recognize the fact that your teammate has a grenade stuck on his face?"
[Pretty sure we established a long time ago that these guys are incompetent.] Maine pointed out.
"What thing?" asked Donut, concern in his voice.
"There's somethin' on your head." said Grif.
"What, is it a spider? Get it off!"
"No, it's not a spider, it's, like a.. blue thing." said Simmons.
"What, like a blue spider?" asked Donut, "Get it off!"
"It's not a spider! Calm down. It's some kinda.. fuzzy, pulsating thing." Grif tried (and failed) to clarify.
[That has to be the worst explanation, ever.] said Maine.
"Of all-" some of the other Freelancers began to say.
"Of all time. Yeah, we've made that joke a bunch of times already." interrupted Ivan, who was totally not feeling left out by being the only one to not really be 'in' on the joke.
"That doesn't sound much better than a spider." the Red rookie pointed out.
"Does it hurt?" asked Simmons.
"No."
"Maybe we should try to take it off." suggested Simmons.
"Good idea." agreed Grif, "Go for it."
"Me? By 'we' I meant 'you'. Asshole." the maroon soldier retorted.
"Am I the only one who feels like South and Connie would have a similar conversation?" wondered York.
"Probably." replied South.
"Well…" Tex trailed off.
"…Given the current relationship between the two…" Ivan continued.
"It doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility." Wyoming agreed slowly.
"Really?" Connie deadpanned as she looked around at everyone. Maine looked away while whistling, and Flowers did the same.
"I actually don't mind agreeing with you on this." South grumbled, "Seriously, what a bunch of idiots. Right, North?"
"Uh…" North's hesitancy to reply resulted in South glaring at her twin, making him look away and shift uncomfortably.
"Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous." said Donut. Just before the grenade exploded.
"Son of a bitch!" Grif and Simmons cry. The camera then fades to black, the sound of people getting hit can be heard.
"Sim- Where'd he go?" Grif asked, more sounds of people being hit can be heard.
"Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die!" the orange soldier cried.
*End Episode*
"Can't wait to see their reactions when they realize Tex is a girl." said Connie as she stood up and stretched.
"It'll be a good lesson for Tucker and Caboose to not assume that just because someone's a badass then that means they're a dude." agreed North as he also stood up and worked a kink out of his neck.
"Let's take a break for a little bit before we start the next episode." suggested Ivan. Everyone agreed.
Author's Note:
Good news everyone! This fic isn't dead! That aside, this really needs to stop becoming a habit. As per usual, I am really sorry that this took so long. I can only blame school, the fact that I wanted to work on some other stories a little, and because I'm a lazy fuck. I'm hoping to get back into this fic a little since Season 16 is going to be starting soon, so I'm hopefully going to focus on this more. Since it's been so long since I uploaded a chapter, I'm sorry if there was a drop in quality. Obligatory apology out of the way, onto replies!
MKDemigodZ-Warrior
Flowers was in charge of picking out the Blood Gulch Crew, so I'm pretty sure he got a look at Sarge's file or something.
BraveSeeker3
Flowers appreciates the plushie, as you probably read. As for the whole 'Vic titling the episodes', that was an on-the-spot idea/joke I came up with, believe it or not.
slayer of the abyss
The other AI were straight up deleted by the EMP, the Tex that you see here was the one from the Memory Unit. The circumstances of her 'death' just seemed so unique to me that it made sense to me to include her here. As for Church, I am thinking of adding him later, but at the rate I'm uploading chapters for this fic, that's going to take a long time.
RWBYSTRQ
Glad to hear you enjoyed it! The fic isn't dead, I've just been busy with other stuff. Like school, other fics, and my own laziness. I do plan on focusing on this story a little more once Season 16 starts, though.
Sailor Luck
Yeah, he always seemed like a caring guy to me.
LordOfMemory
I'm pretty sure the other Freelancers knew that the Alpha was hidden, just not where. That aside, they're gonna be able to put it together pretty quick that Church is an AI.
guest
What the fuck?
Guest
Glad to hear it! I hope you continue to enjoy my writing.
bluechair607
Glad to hear you enjoyed it! I'm also pretty proud of how I wrote Flowers too, glad to hear you liked it. As for your english, I actually wouldn't have known it was your second language if you hadn't told me, don't sell yourself short.
haydenunstopable
Never thought of it like that. But then again, that's Reaction Fics in a nutshell.
haydenunstopable
I'll be sure to include that at some point. It'll probably result in Ivan saying "I told you guys that the pantry would magically produce food, you know. This shouldn't surprise you.".
Shadow the Ranger
Glad to hear you enjoyed, and I will try to upload more often with Season 16 coming soon. As for more episodes per chapter: if I did that, I'm pretty sure I would literally never get around to updating this, sorry.
CrimsontheBloodyDemonKing
Yeah, I like them too. Though sometimes I get frustrated if I find one for a series I wanted to see a fic for, only for it to be poorly written. I'm glad to see that you seem to enjoy mine. And Season 10? God, that seems so far away…
RelativityTargaryen
Thank you so much for thinking so highly of this! And you can understand Lopez? That's impressive, especially since that, as far as I know, the writers deliberately make sure Lopez's spanish is somewhat poor. Like using the incorrect forms of certain words, or just writing the lines in english and then putting them through an outdated translation program one word at a time.
Guest
I plan on it, don't worry.
Chaos. Creator Of The Universe
Don't worry, I do plan on continuing this.
AGCrossingWorld
Hopefully this will sate you until the next one, then.
kingvlad2011
You mean the Reds and Blues watching RvB? Or something else?
Storylover213
I'm glad to hear you enjoy this, and hopefully Season 16 will help me to get off my lazy ass more.
Lord Of Memory
Thank you, I will.
Shiranai Atsune
Fear not, my boi! Season 16 shall hopefully light a fire under my butt, so I'll hopefully make you all have to wait less between chapters.
Dragonsatan
Don't worry, it is. I've just been busy with other stuff. And I'm lazy.
Doombringer069
Yes, sorry for making you all wait.
And done! With that out of the way, time to sign off. If you enjoyed this fic, be sure to follow it so you can see the updates if you haven't already. If you enjoy my writing, also be sure to check out my other stories if you feel like it. As always, be sure to tell me what you think, and I'm always open to constructive criticism. Emphasis on constructive.
South: Oh, yeah. There was that one guy that was kind of a douche on one of your other stories, wasn't there.
How did you get in here?
South: Him. *points to Ivan*
Ivan: How's it going, boss?
Yeah, that makes sense. Regardless, this is Finch Daemon signing off. Peace!
-Finch Daemon