28/05/17
Regina fumbled aimlessly around her phone, fingers gingerly dancing above the screen as she hoped maybe she could find an instruction manual on how to work this damned app. And in the meantime, was having her head religiously pulled back by the hairstylist that was getting a little bored of her clients insistent bowing of her head and frustrated groans that would cause her whole body to shake.
The brunette winced as the tugging became something a little more malicious than it had been before, taking the hint and placing her phone in her lap. She could deal with that some other time.
But there hadn't been enough talking to distract the brunette from the app she had no idea how to work, she could barely even remember the name – Chatsnaps? Snapshot? It was a completely ridiculous app that made absolutely no sense, with no clear instructions and it had Regina absolutely reeling that she couldn't figure it out with the first try.
"Stupid," she spat out to the phone, eyes rolling simultaneously and hand tapping in frustrated beats along her thigh.
It hadn't been her idea to use this infuriatingly dumb platform, but her manager said it would enforce a better more intimate relationship with her fans and with that Regina had jumped at the opportunity. But now all she could see was red, as again she gripped at her phone, playing a dangerous game with the hairstylist who had a tight grip on Regina's dark hair – so she played this round a little more cautious.
She held the phone out with the full length of her arms so that it was in balance with her eye line and so she wouldn't have to bend over and get another furious tug to sit back up. And still, no matter how long she had glared at the app and how hard she had been willing for it to just work all by itself, the screen remained blank.
"You just click the circle to take a picture and hold it down for a video," her hairstylist had mumbled. She met his gaze in the mirror, her lips tingling with a thank you but her mind too proud to say anything.
So instead a soft smile grazed her cheeks as she continued to do as she was told. And after what felt like centuries the woman had finally taken a photo. Not the most flattering to say the least, because she hadn't expected it to be so sudden, but a picture at last.
Her smallish smile was spreading into a much wider grin, finally feeling like she could do anything once again. So, after being taught how to, she took another, posing this time with a slight pout and a playful scowl, only getting her stylists hands in the shot as she noticed he was wearing a glare that meant his patience was wearing thin.
Within moments she was posting the photo to her story and finally she felt a little more at ease, placing the phone back to her lap and allowing the rest of her hair be done in peace.
It hadn't been a long trip to the venue, and she had been non-stop snapchatting, as her stylist had called it, and getting the hang of filters and videos and relishing on the idea of keeping her fans in the loop.
She met Zelena there and seeing her ginger friend suddenly reminded her of how much she was missing Henry. Not that she would be gone long, and she wasn't far from home – but she'd decided to leave him with his nanny for the evening – which made sense, and it was the smart motherly decision she would expect but it didn't make it hurt any less.
They sauntered in, linked by their arms and chained into a beat they could walk to in unison. Only Regina's step had been a little off key upon entering the room – her eyes glossing over a corner of the box she had mentally made a note to stay away from.
Emma's usual curls that splayed messily down her pale shoulders had been pulled into a low pony tail, the kinks straightened so that the hair looked silky. Regina noticed how awkward the woman had been standing, a spaghetti strap black dress clung to her frail figure, roping around her limbs and tightening to reveal her curves – the possessive nature in which the dress hugged her almost looked non-consensual as the blonde every so often pulled at the material so that it would hang a little looser. And when that hadn't worked, she grudgingly wrapped her arms around her waist – using the black jacket she had resting on her arm as a barrier to any naked eyes that would pry at her almost bare body.
Regina stopped with her staring, being conscious of those around her and realising almost a little too late that she had been near enough gawping at the woman she was supposed to hate. Zelena, as always, noticed things Regina hadn't wanted anyone to notice. And soon enough a pale hand was picking at the tanned arm that had been loosely linked.
"If you're going to pounce on her at least warn me so I can steady my balance," Zelena laughed, and she pulled a glare from the dark eyes that had already been melting into her.
But yet again, against her own will, Regina was bringing that glare to meet the blonde who had seemingly not noticed the two women entering the smallish room.
"What are you on about?" Regina barked out, knowing exactly what Zelena had meant but was too in-denial to delve deeper into the topic alone.
"One second longer of your staring and you might start drooling, Regina," she hummed, mocking her much smaller friend and wrapping a single finger around her chin to shut the gap melding into the pink stained lips.
"You'll catch flies keeping your mouth open like that, you could at least be a little subtle when you check her out," she laughed again, but stopped abruptly when Regina pulled out of their little bubble – an offended frown painting her lips.
"I was doing no such thing," she sounded breathless and guilty – like a child trying to lie its way out of getting into trouble. But consciously Regina hadn't been checking Emma out, that was the last thing she would have ever wanted to do, and-
"I shouldn't have to explain myself," she lashed out, interrupting her own thoughts as they started to become loud and messy. Hoping shutting down her still laughing friend would silence her mind – but all she had become was confused.
Zelena was wearing a knowing smirk but held her hands up in defeat – ushering for Regina to join her side once more.
Regina hadn't made contact with the blonde for most of the time they spent in that room, she conversed with network directors and other actors she had met briefly at prior events, but majority of the time kept to her own.
And seemingly the blonde had done the same, and in those very small moments that Regina would feel herself catching a glimpse of the blonde ponytail in the back – she noticed how uncomfortable the woman had looked, how she almost looked ill and pale and sickly and despite everything she felt an impossibly small amount of sympathy fall against her will into the pit of her stomach. But each time that would happen she was distracted by some random conversation Zelena had pulled them both into.
As moments went by and meaningless conversations came to an end Regina found herself playing with that damned app she had suddenly felt comfortable on.
She was whispering gently into the camera "I'm backstage at the upfronts!" she started before swirling the camera around, so the slowly dispersing crowds were in full view.
"The ABC up front's and look who's here!" she continued, the camera had full view of the room, and only after having finished recording did she notice Emma had been caught in the back. Regina stared closer and noticed Emma's eyes rolling before she had purposely removed herself from the view of Regina's recording.
She glared up to find Emma staring just as hard back, a fix on the brunettes' movements so frozen Regina thought she could feel the cold dripping through her limbs.
The blonde hadn't even meant to be here, but she was accompanying her fiancé. Who come to think of it was nowhere in sight – which Regina thought was strange enough as Killian had always ravished the thought of being centre of attention, without taking into consideration that actually no one wanted him to be.
The brunette's eyes rolled unwillingly at the thought of him, whilst still staring at Emma, who had assumed it was meant for her – letting the exasperated and purposely loud sigh turn her into some random conversation so that she didn't have to engage in the uncomfortable encounter any longer.
Regina mimicked the sigh but hadn't moved from the corner she'd isolated herself in.
Instead she messaged Henry's nanny, Mary-Margaret, so she could complete her annual hourly check on Henry. Only to be irritated by the obnoxiously cheery reply and overuse of kisses and exclamation marks.
But her heart did swell with a fondness upon receiving a photo of him building his own rocket in Lego, and with that she felt a smile slip so effortlessly onto her cheeks to replace the irritated frown.
"That's cute."
Regina groaned, knowing exactly who had made the comment and snapping her phone shut, primal instinct kicking in as she dared to glance up and be met with a smiling Emma.
Her pale body had been leant forward a little to get a glimpse of the picture, giving Regina's glaring eyes full view of the blonde's chest – the dress not leaving much for the imagination and the heat and anger from her scowling could have been horribly mistaken for something else entirely if she had been caught. But for the first time she had felt herself having to force her eyes away, peeling them back up to Emma's face.
An eyebrow cocked to match a smirk on her pale cheeks, Regina couldn't help but sigh with irritation.
"I could have been doing anything on my phone Miss Swan," she offered – marginally offended and instantly drawing it back to hide the screen from nosy idiots, regrettably gaining a laugh from the woman in front who had taken Regina's' reply as an invitation to join her against the wall. The two slid together with a weirdly large gap between them – but still neither one edged closer to get rid of it.
"Well that's a lie, that smiles only reserved for Henry," she knew she was right, and Regina knew she was right, and it infuriated the brunette to the point where she was ready to fight. "And besides, what could Regina Mills have possibly been doing that's so scandalous in such a public place?" she was teasing her words out now, her eyes fluttering down to the black screen and slowly back up to Regina's scowl – a smile being bitten playfully by her pearly teeth as she did so.
"I don't know what it is you're suggesting Miss Swan, but I would much rather you go irritate someone else" Regina bit back, being cautious of those around them and who might dip into the conversation.
And this time when Emma laughed, the brunette was watching – paying close attention to the details. The way her smile would widen, but only by a few inches that seemed to make such a huge difference. And how her eyes would crinkle at the edges, and how her shoulders would bob up and down, surprisingly unruly, as the laugh continued to echo into the room.
And then she noticed how in that moment she hadn't minded the laugh, she hadn't wanted to frown or sigh or moan, she hadn't wanted to tease or mock the blonde and instead she wanted to laugh alongside her. But those few seconds went by quickly and the brunette was bitch slapped back into her harsh reality where the two would never get along.
"And here I was thinking this was the start of something beautiful."
Regina scoffed at the remark, turning to take another look at the crowds and this time being met with a hungry kind of beady eyed glare. Zelena had caught the pair and was smiling a wide smile from the other side of the room, causing Regina to instantly move away just a few inches more from the blonde – just in case her friend had any other ideas or absurd comments to add.
"How is he?" a now distant voice called out, and Regina still hadn't broken the eye contact with Zelena – her head turning but eyes remaining loyal to the ginger mane, feeling frightened that if she were to glance away for longer than a second, she would pounce on the two and make this whole thing worse than it already was.
"What?" the brunette asked in return, continuously getting lost in thought and barely paying attention to the woman who sat at an even weirder distance from her now.
"Henry. How is he?" Emma asked again, a sigh lacing through her words as she could sense the genuine lack of interest in the woman beside her, instead of the usual playful ignoring she'd gotten accustomed to.
"He's fine," Regina's voice was a low murmur, so much quieter than the thoughts that were racing loudly in her mind, she hadn't been paying close enough attention to have some sort of sarcastic reply. And Emma couldn't help but feel a little disheartened when she hadn't received some snippy come back about it being none of her business.
So, for a few moments the two sat in silence, until a rather loud Killian had appeared from absolutely nowhere.
Regina caught his appearance in the corner of her eye and groaned, loudly.
"Always a pleasure to see you too Regina" he mocked, taking that same attitude Emma had always approached Regina with, but for some reason whenever he did it, it just made the woman want to punch him clean in the nose instead of tease back.
In fact, whenever he spoke it caused a thread of anger to tingle in the tips of her fingers, and the temptation to fight him was always pushed to the very front of her mind.
She ignored his remark, replying with an eye roll instead – yet again inching further away from the couple. It was bad enough she had to see this scumbag near enough every day on set, so she had no intentions of spending her valuable time with him socially.
"I've been looking for you everywhere," Killian was whining like a child, pawing at Emma with his clammy hands and, was that alcohol? Regina turned her head sharply, it was. A thick and sickening blanket of rum filled the air, it was clear in the way he stumbled to press clumsily against the blonde as well.
An embarrassment.
"I was stood right here this whole time Killian," she argued back, her response blunt and short. Regina could see that Emma could sense the sickly smell of alcohol too as her nose was shrinking and her lips were pursing together as if she were scared that any second she could throw up everywhere. She was trying her hardest to push his hands away, but Regina could tell she hadn't wanted to create a scene so was failing miserably in keeping him off her.
Killian had no intentions of keeping this subtle, with his insistent touching and groping and the way he had Emma pinned against the wall made Regina's stomach churn with something much deeper than the anger she felt before.
A different kind of instinct than she hadn't expected to feel with Emma kicked in automatically as Regina noticed the pained look melting and dripping from Emma's eyes – that same smile she was wearing moments before had suddenly become hollow and empty as she fake laughed at his jokes and reluctantly gave into his violating study of her body.
"I think Gold was looking for you Killian," Regina chimed in, momentarily gaining the man's attention before it was put heavily back onto his frail looking fiancé.
"Gold can wait"
"Gold doesn't wait, and you know that" she argued back, and like a child Killian moaned – taking his hands-off Emma so to push his weight from pinning her to the wall.
He groaned again, winking at the blonde and waving to the brunette as he skulked off to find Gold, who hadn't actually been wanting to see him at all – but it was all Regina could muster up as an excuse for the time being.
"Emma. I-" Regina had tried to start once the man-boy was out of ear shot, she didn't know where she wanted to take it and she had no idea why she was saying anything, but the woman's name had just slipped out unwillingly.
But it didn't matter because the blonde was suddenly hysterical – leaping from the wall as she was interrupting anything Regina was going to continue to say.
"What?" she commanded, her eyes squaring into Regina's before she forced them to look down - clinging angrily to the brunette's pink tainted lips as she dared her to say another word.
"I just-" but again she hadn't been allowed to continue as Emma was already marching off into another room, not uttering another word and leaving Regina completely clueless of what the hell just happened.
It wasn't unusual for the guests to have gotten drunk to the point their conversations where just muffled nonsense, but Regina had other things on her mind and hadn't intended on staying longer than a couple of hours, so she found it pointless to even attempt at listening.
Not that anyone would have minded her absence, she hadn't exactly been the topic of conversation throughout the evening – she was rarely even invited to join the conversation, but people had put up with her being there as they were rather fond of her much brighter and more energised ginger friend.
She'd found a quieter corner of the dimly lit room, but she could hear Zelena's laugh from a mile off and for some strange reason it was mildly comforting, but the instantly recognisable cawing of another much more annoying and much deeper British accent had been just as loud – and that had caused an unreachable itch to crawl at the base of her neck.
Much to no-one's surprise, Killian Jones held the floor and the men circling him like putty in his hands – a twinkle of admiration in their eyes and laughs so loud they were only boosting the man's already overflowing ego.
Emma, even at her best, could easily be the most infuriating person Regina had come across in a long time but that was no where near a good enough explanation as to why she had settled for someone so horrendous to be around.
With further inspection, Regina noticed Emma wasn't part of the congregation surrounding Killian, she didn't even seem to be in the room and actually Regina hadn't seen her since the blonde stormed off from their earlier conversation.
She shrugged off the thought, edging around the groups of people so she could slip quietly into the bathroom – hoping that five minutes of peace would be enough to get her through the rest of this damned night.
But with each step she took, she felt that same numbing pain tingling under her skin – itching as it tried desperately to claw itself out to reach the surface. Regina had fought it off as best she could, but still felt her eyes gloss over with tears so hot she thought her face would start melting if they were allowed to fall freely from the prison.
"Regina!" Zelena near about screamed the woman's name, and Regina responded to her call – stopping in her attempted exit before turning on her heel, she sighed. "Drink this" her friend was thrusting a glass of something in Regina's direction immediately after approaching her, and the brunette smiled a small smile before taking it – being cautious in sipping at first but the familiar flavour of expensive champagne coating her lips was enough to make her take it all down in one.
A wide eyed Zelena started laughing at her friend's sudden eagerness to drink, taking the empty glass and dropping it onto the nearest table without prying her glare from Regina's unmoving body.
"Is everything okay?" she seemed a little worried, but her loud voice and the hum of laughter that accompanied her words was making the question a whole lot less serious.
"Why wouldn't it be" the brunette mumbled, her bottom lip being sucked at and torn apart. Her hand was reaching out to grip at her opposite arm – fingernails digging in deep at the contact, and Regina was sure they would leave half-moon shaped dents in the skin that lay victim beneath her hold.
Perhaps it was because someone had finally asked what was wrong that caused the darkness to blanket around her figure again, perhaps she was overtired or maybe it was something else entirely, something she really hadn't wanted to dig into. But that unforgiving sadness was sweeping through her limbs, twining itself into her mind and once more she felt that bitter cold bristle against her soft skin.
Soon enough her vision was clouded, and it was hard to make out where she was, her mind was brimming with impossible thoughts and that blanket of darkness had snaked its way around her neck – she was suffocating, and she had no idea why.
Zelena clicked instantly, smiling a smile that made it clear she was so unsure on what to do before acting on instinct and pulling her friend into the bathroom.
"You look like you're going to combust Regina," Zelena whispered, battering at Regina with her words in hopes the brunette would just cave and tell her what the hell had happened in the ten minutes they'd been apart.
But Regina had always been stubborn, and although the two were close they were never very good at communicating – so for a while they just stood in silence, with the echoing sounds of the drunkards outside the door drowning the conversation.
"I'm tired," was all that was offered, but her voice was so small, so dainty that even Zelena knew that wasn't the truth. And she sighed, a long and heavy sigh – making it clear that she was looking for an answer other than that. "And I miss Henry," she added, releasing her arm from the wrath of her hand and swinging it with as much force as humanly possible – a smile marrying her movements and a laugh ringing out into the nothingness of the room.
"I'm fine, really!" she continued to laugh, almost to the point that it was getting a little weird – but she turned and stopped at the mirror to check her makeup. Noticing the tears brimming in the corners of her eyes but choosing to ignore it and instead busying her shaking hands with reapplying her lipstick.
But she could still feel the burning gaze of Zelena's eyes boring into her side.
"Has it got something to do with Em-"
"It has nothing to do with anything."
The taller woman was thrown completely off her sentence because Regina knew exactly where the end of that question was headed, and she had no intentions of answering it once it had been asked. She glared to her friend as her words started spilling impatiently out of her lips. She stood, resting her hands on the bathroom side with only the top half of her body twisting her attention to the woman who looked unpleased with Regina's responses.
Zelena gave a smile back, stepping lightly forwards as her arms started to reach out from her sides - but the way Regina's eyes grew and the way her body had stiffened told Zelena that perhaps now wasn't the time for a hug.
"Come find me when you're ready to go home and we'll leave together," she spoke instead, lingering a few moments longer to see if the brunette would speak up. But after having realised tonight wouldn't be that night, she left. And Regina was abandoned in a somehow even quieter silence.
But hearing the click of the door only ushered the tears to finally fall – no matter how hard Regina had fought and how quickly her fingers had dabbed at the wetness, the tears kept spilling down her cheeks. An aching kind of silent sob was caving through her chest, and all she could do to help herself was hold the place her heart was supposed to be resting. Instead it was beating a hundred miles an hour, a sticky kind of darkness was icing through her and melting like thick tar.
Tears shamelessly stained her dull cheeks, thin lines of dread and regret blistering her skin and scaring her heart and as soon as she thought her crying had stopped, the drying wounds were filling with a familiar salty, warm liquid once more.
The edges of her fingers grazed the water, pushing the drops away in hopes of stopping the endless stream of hurt but her eyes fought harder and soon a waterfall was gushing. A painful but silent sob erupted from her chest, echoing out into nothing and being heard by no one.
She really had no idea why she was crying, she had no idea why she had been feeling so down recently but for now that didn't matter because what happened next was far worse than anything she'd been subconsciously battling.
The creak of the bathroom stall was verging on silent, but the tiny tapping of heels on the tiled floor caused a sobbing Regina to jump and turn to see Emma shamefully stood at the cubicle door.
The brunette cursed under her breath, turning upon seeing the frowning woman and praying that the blonde would just mind her damned business, willing the thought hard enough she was sure her head would explode. But clearly her prayers had not been heard or had just been arrogantly ignored like everything else she had ever thought, because Emma stayed.
Regina was patting furiously at her tear stained cheeks, forgetting for second that maybe that was the stupidest idea she could have acted upon, for the white on the sleeve of her dress was turning a distinct shade of black, and that alone had forced a very hearable sigh to envelope the air the two women stood in.
Regina felt Emma tiptoe to stand beside her, turning the faucet on before rinsing her hands slowly in the waterfall. And then she had felt a breath puff from the blondes opening and closing lips, Regina only assuming Emma had been searching for something to say.
And again, Regina sighed, this time a little quieter.
"If you're going to say something just say it. Don't stand there like an idiot," Regina muttered, her chest hurting with each word she spat out as her heart was still threatening to explode with another unstoppable round of tears.
"I was just going to ask if you were okay," Emma had taken her glare from deepening into the brunette to focus on her own mess of a face in the mirror opposite.
"Well that's an impossibly stupid thing to ask," she mocked, feeling a little bit of the pressure ease from her chest as she found a new focus in how blatantly idiotic the blonde could be and now, she was laughing a little. Her eyes stinging a little less and her frown curling into something happier. "I think you already have the answer to your own question Emma," Regina added in a small irritated mumble.
There was a beat of silence before anyone had uttered another word, and Regina thought that maybe she had lucked out and Emma would finally just leave.
"Okay, well then whats wrong?" the blonde was turning fully now, her words were a little more assertive than those of before.
Regina's eyes squeezed themselves shut, and her hands were tightening on the faucet before she had finally found the will to turn and meet her blonde acquaintance.
"I'm feeling tired, but not that that's any of your business," Regina scoffed. She hadn't taken in much of Emma's appearance upon turning and instead her worries were lying much with herself, but the longer she waited for a reply the longer she had to stare and the more she started to realise that this hadn't been a general visit to the bathroom for Emma either.
Regina noticed the black stains bruising the underneath of Emma's already stormy eyes. And how those same half circles had dripping from them, small trails of that black elixir running unforgivingly dark lines across her cheeks. They'd somehow been rubbed away without having disturbed the makeup that lay perfectly beneath their marks.
Her own eyes were tracing the tracks until they fell on her lips, the reddish colour Emma had been wearing at the start of the night was wiped viciously clean – leaving only a pale tint behind on the trembling flesh. And now she was focusing on that same sickly complexion she had seen right at the start of the event, it was flooding Emma's cheeks, a frown melting deeper into her face as Regina's prying became something more intimate than when she had just been waiting for a response.
But that's all she had been able to capture, for the blonde had turned abruptly on the heels of her feet. Going back to the cubicle and re-appearing just as quickly with a mound of tissue to hand.
She was thrusting it towards Regina, who had pulled her eyes to meet the offering. Her mind racing with thoughts filled with nothing but also everything at the same time. And the next time she had brought her gaze back up to meet Emma's she found the green eyes finding home in anything other than Regina's stare.
Regina took the tissue, dabbing silently at her eyes – feeling Emma's glare burning inexplainable holes into her side. But what was even stranger was how weirdly comforting the whole situation was slowly becoming for the two of them as they silently embraced one another's unspoken sadness.
"Why are you hiding in here?" Regina finally asked. Breaking the silence, but not for one second going to meet Emma's stare.
"I'm not hiding," Emma argued folding her arms like rope around her waist as she backed herself slowly into the wall.
"Right."
Emma sighed at Regina's response, stepping light steps towards the woman who had put all her focus on trying to fix her makeup.
"Do you ever get tired Regina?" she asked, it was so random and the lilt in her voice was so genuinely curious that Regina hadn't been able to reply within the same beat. And it certainly wasn't anything Regina had expected to be asked.
But it was that, and how suddenly close the blonde had gotten that sent a bitter dry to hurricane through her throat.
"Of?" she finally gulped out, pushing off the sink so that she could lean into the side and face Emma. Trying hard to decipher where the hell this conversation was headed.
The blonde was unreadable, she almost looked emotionless but the sadness swirling like pools of lost hope was giving everything away and suddenly Regina felt an unfamiliar swell of sorrow erupt in the pit of her empty stomach – automatically she reached to hold it tight, hoping the small comfort would silence the pain.
"I don't know, everything I guess," Emma sighed in her response, and it was then that Regina could smell that sickly-sweet scent alcohol, and suddenly things were slowly starting to piece themselves together. Her eyes fluttered shut and a sigh was forming in the base of her throat, slowly slipping out through her nose and in return gaining a frown from Emma.
"Like, life you know? Sometimes I just think about what my life could have been if I'd made some better decisions," there was a gloss of sadness swimming in her eyes, and Regina could see Emma was making a conscious decision not to blink, because if she had those pools would be spilling like an endless stream of hopelessness. Neither one of the two had wanted that, this situation was already becoming far too uncomfortable and intimate for them both.
She knew there was something more to what Emma had been trying to say than just life, but she had no intentions of finding that out. Regina ignored the cry of pain that was swirling at a fast pace in her stomach with each waking moment, she gripped at the tightening muscles with a harder hold.
"You're drunk Emma," Regina accused, a sigh still lingering in her words – lacing around each syllable and for some reason Emma thought that maybe the brunette was disappointed, that was definitely the tone being painted in the small amount air between them.
"So what if I am? That's nothing to do with you," her voice was rising and falling almost instantly when she remembered where they were and that the wooden door separating them from the crowds outside wasn't soundproof enough to cloud their arguing.
"You should go home," there was something in her words that was completely foreign to both women, something that sounded an awful lot like Regina was starting to care for the blonde, and that frightened her more than anything. So, she snapped almost immediately after having the taste of kindness tingle on the tip of her tongue for a moment to long. "You'll embarrass yourself more than you already have staying here any longer, you look a state," Regina spat out.
"That's exactly what I mean, that right there!" Emma was leaping forwards, pointing an accusing finger directly into Regina's lips and stopping where the tip of her nail was almost close enough to touch the flesh. The brunette had been all sorts of confused and scoffed at the remark, but she hadn't been given permission to ask any further questions for the blonde had continued. "Don't you ever get tired of that? Of just being a big bitch all of the fucking time?" the blonde was whining and suddenly Regina could hear the alcohol slurring her words as her sentences were melding untidily into one long messy ramble of nonsense.
"That's quite an accusation coming from you Emma." Regina pushed Emma's hand away with an aggressive swat of her hand.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means whatever you want it to mean, now if you could kindly remove yourself. I have better things to be doing."
"Oh, you mean like going back out there to all your friends, to all those people that are probably worried sick because you've been gone for so long?" Emma was being intentionally cruel, her insults layered in a thick sarcasm that was almost too violent for her tongue to fit around neatly. Both women knew how Regina hadn't even been a passing thought in that room, and her disappearance would certainly not have been missed.
Regina hadn't let the blonde see how hurt she was, instead she forced her anger to pour through her body in hopes Emma would back the hell off. But when the blonde hadn't complied to her silent orders she spoke up.
"Go home Emma," Regina made an attempt in getting away but was tugged at aggressively by thin fingers. She grunted loudly, trying to burn the tight grip off with her glare but it only made Emma tighten the hold as she desperately searched for something to say.
But the blonde hadn't said another word, even though there was a painful look in her eyes like she knew exactly what she wanted to say. Emma had so many thoughts she wanted to spill out onto the glaring women who was getting more impatient by the second.
The words were all there piled onto her tongue ready in waiting but nothing would form into something she could speak, nothing that would make sense at least. Nothing would empty from her opening mouth, and eventually Regina got tired of waiting for an explanation and pulled at her wrist. Freeing herself and finally escaping the bathroom without looking back.
The brunette sought out her friend, a frustrated growl mapping her words as she told the ginger they were leaving. The two had gone to their separate homes in silence, Zelena knew better than to pry when Regina had gotten into one of her legendary moods, and Regina had no intentions on making small talk for the sake of keeping the journey from anything but silent.
01/06/17
Another day another con. A slow one at that. All seemingly bigger than the last.
Regina was yawning towards the end of the day, and she hadn't got Henry to keep her company whilst she hid from fans in-between panels and autographs, so she sat silently and awkwardly waiting for time to pass faster than it currently had been.
Emma was also sat alone on the other side of the room, but the brunette had been far from turning to start any form of conversation – she wasn't that desperate, not even for an argument. She thought back to the upfronts, and how dangerously close Emma had gotten to actually hurting her feelings. And that was all the more reason to avoid the blonde completely.
Instead she busied her mind with something on her phone. Scrolling half heartedly thought her twitter feed.
Only peering up from the screen to see Emma being handed a bubbling glass of champagne. She scoffed without even thinking, looking back down to her phone. And perhaps her laugh had been a little too loud in that rather empty and quiet room because Emma picked up on it straight away.
"What?" Emma called out.
Regina took a moment to even show she had heard the blonde, a smile drifting onto her lips.
"What?"
"What's so funny?" Emma was irritated, and Regina could feel the argument settling automatically between them.
"I don't think I have to start explaining myself to you."
"Well you do when you're laughing at me."
"I could have been laughing at anything. My whole world doesn't revolve around you Miss Swan,"
Emma was silent for a moment.
"So, you just happened to be looking directly at me whilst you were laughing at something else?"
This time Regina stayed quiet for a beat.
"I was just wondering whether it's smart for you to be drinking," Regina had pulled a glare so angry she could feel the heat building in the room.
"And what the fuck do you mean by that Regina?" Emma was sighing out a small laugh although she knew exactly what Regina had been referring too. Her words toppling into the drink she had taken another stubborn sip from – as if to prove some stupid point. Regina sighed, adjusting herself in the seat that was slowly becoming uncomfortable.
"I was just concerned about you not knowing your limit. Especially after the other night," Regina hadn't taken the time to see Emma's face crumple into something so angry and hurt it was practically its own person.
"I'm not yours to be concerned about. And I can control my drinking," Emma spat through a bitter murmur. Regina hadn't replied she hadn't even looked up to the blonde and instead only offered a cock of her eyebrow, as if to discredit Emma's argument. "You know what, I'm sick of this."
Regina sat up straight when she heard Emma slam her glass onto the table, her eyes forcing Regina to keep contact.
"I am sick of you," Emma continued, her words becoming even more dangerous in the way they had bled some sort of vicious poison.
"Well if you hadn't noticed, I'm not too keen on you either Miss Swan," Regina smiled, trying to lessen the seriousness that the conversation had just become.
"You just think you're so above me. Newsflash, you're not." Emma was smiling now as well, but hers was a little crueller in nature. "Look. I'm sorry for-" she paused, looking around to make sure there weren't any prying ears. "For what I said the other night, I wasn't in my right mind," she offered finally looking a little less angry.
"I don't need your apologies Emma, but you're right. You weren't in your right mind," Regina scoffed, feeling a want to go back and busy herself with something, anything other than engage in this conversation. Emma sighed, and Regina watched her cheeks flood with a red.
"Every time I try with you. Every time I try to get on some sort of level playing field you just act like such a bitch and shut me out," Emma was breathless in her arguing and Regina could feel the blonde giving up with each word – her anger sounding tiredly drained.
"Have you ever thought about the possibility that I don't want you to try with me," Regina bit out. "Oh wait, I forget you only ever think about what you want."
"You can pretend all you like Regina, but I see you smiling when I come into the room." Emma accused, cocking an eyebrow playfully.
"Whatever," was all Regina could offer in return, she was in no mood to be battling with Emma over how she felt.
There was an added moment of silence before Emma had piped up again, receiving an irritated groan from Regina who sat rigid on the other side of the room.
"Why do you hate me so much?"
Regina scowled to the blonde, who'd in turn put her hands up as an act of surrender.
"You can't seriously, actually hate me because I spilt some coffee on your expensive dress."
In that moment Emma had never sounded so naive and that had angered Regina more than anything.
"This stopped being about a dress a long time ago," she shouted aggressively enough the security were turning on their heels ready to pounce on the actresses in defence. Only to awkwardly turn once more upon seeing it had been the two women arguing.
"Then please, enlighten me. Tell me what it is that I do so wrong."
"Why do you care Emma."
"Because Regina, once a upon a time I thought maybe we could be friends. That maybe we could get along, but every stupid day we spend together you convince me otherwise," Emma sounded genuinely upset, even a little frustrated.
"You thought we could be friends?" Regina tried to mask her sudden sadness with a scoff, although the lump in her throat was hardening and getting more difficult to swallow. Emma hadn't replied but her head bobbed in a small nod, her shoulders shrugging as her nerves were swallowing her movements.
"Well, not anymore. But that's exactly what you wanted right? So, no big deal," Emma got up from her chair, looking down to her watch – sighing as she realised, she was needed elsewhere.
"Emma," Regina croaked out through a voice so tiny it was barely even loud enough for her to hear.
The blonde swallowed hard before she forced her eyes to look up from the watch and meet Regina's glare.
"I don't hate you," Regina could only whisper. Her tongue was desperate to keep the words from escaping her lips, but her mind was so set on letting Emma know. She bit back her tongue immediately after speaking. Emma waited a moment, assessing the situation. Her frown softening into something sadder.
"I have to go."
Regina felt herself sink into the chair as a sickness was dripping like a dizzy kind of regret into her limbs. She took in a hard breath, trying to focus on anything other than that short conversation.