Tuesday

Cloud spent most of his morning in the shower, cleansing himself from last night's mistake, taking breaks every few minutes to leave the shower and drink his way through bottles of beer. He wasn't proud of himself and he desperately wanted things to go back to normal. Awaiting Tifa's knock on the front door was a long and painful process. What if she doesn't come?

He was scrubbing his body aggressively with a sponge when he heard a dull knocking come from downstairs. Tifa. He dressed himself instantly in a fresh set of clothes and raced downstairs, she was the remedy he needed, she would make all of this go away. How am I going to keep this from her?

"Tifa," he was delighted to see her standing at his door with her arms folded against her chest. He knew she'd be upset. He knew that she would be furious about the events that took place on Sunday night and he was willing to endure her wrath – as long as it took his mind off of what happened last night.

"Cloud," she exhaled. "What's going on?"

"I'm just glad you're here."

OOO OOO OOO

They sat in silence together for a little while, on the couch in the living room. Cloud, fighting back the thoughts in his head and the aching in his body, attempted to kill the silence, which was smothering them both, by telling Tifa she looked marvellous this morning. Tifa loved hearing compliments about her appearance but, this morning was different – something was eating away at her insides and Cloud could passively feel it.

"Cloud, please tell me, what's going on?" she asked, a hint of desperation in her voice as her eyes locked with his own.

"I'm fine." He looked away.

"It's not even midday and you're drunk, Cloud." She snapped. "You weren't in for most of yesterday after you ditched me at 7th Heaven and then you come home at six in the morning."

Cloud let out an exasperated sigh and closed his eyes, leaning back into the couch. I want to disappear. He needed Tifa's ignorance, he needed her to talk about herself. Everything was derailing, nothing was following routine and it made Cloud furious; she was supposed to be his constant. He needed more alcohol.

"I can help you, please, let me in," she pleaded.

Another sigh escaped Cloud's lips and his eyes opened. Things couldn't get worse than this. I'll tell her, she can help me get past this. But he was so ashamed. He was so embarrassed.

"I made a mistake last night," he began. "I don't remember what happened prior, my mind's a haze but, I woke up this morning in a stranger's bed and-" he gasped, "I was naked. I must've had so much to drink, I can't remember anything."

"Oh, Cloud." she replied, worry in her voice. "We all make mistakes. We can get past this, I'm sure she won't remember your name by the time she wakes up." she consoled. He wasn't feeling better, and he couldn't find it in himself to correct her.

"I guess you're right."

OOO OOO OOO

It took a considerable amount of convincing but he had managed to successfully get Tifa to go to school with him that day. Despite him being overly intoxicated and in agony over his aching body, he wanted to become a better person – even if it meant showing up to school halfway through the school-day. He wanted to excel, after all, he had his whole life ahead of him. I'm sure I've heard that somewhere.

Halfway through his chemistry lesson, Cloud realised that coming into school drunk might've not been the best idea, the chemicals he was working with in the lab required precise measuring and calculation; neither of which he was capable whilst under the influence of alcohol. This hadn't gone unnoticed by his teacher, who had excused him for the remainder of the lesson and gave him the time he needed to cram in some last-minute revision for his catch-up biology test. He wasn't sure about how Tifa was handling herself on her first day back in a few weeks but she has always managed to fit in better than Cloud ever could. She was beautiful, she had stunning features that made the boys stare and the girls jealous. Tifa was aware of her desirable attributes yet she never wanted anyone besides Cloud; it had always been Cloud and it brought her so much despair. She could get any other guy, if only she wanted to.

Cloud was pleased with himself when he discovered, at the end of his biology lesson, that he had scored 92% on his paper. "You have a true calling for this science, Strife, I'd be very pleased to see you frequent my class more often."

He missed the routine of school and homework. I could get used to this.

It wasn't long before lunch break commenced and he reunited with Tifa. She returned to being herself again, talking about her own day and leaving little room for Cloud to comment on her activities. He liked it that way; they were both egocentric but Cloud was a listener, Tifa was a talker, they complimented each other. Cloud finally began sobering up and Tifa was very pleased about that; she never brought up what Cloud revealed that morning and just like that, it has left his mind throughout the duration of the school day. The only reminder of last night's mistake was the dull ache he could feel every time he sat down in his anal cavity, but he did not dare bring attention to it. It never happened.

OOO OOO OOO

Cloud did not wait for Tifa after school. He was sober and he needed a caffeine fix or he'd break down; the events that took place the previous night were slowly coming back to him and he wasn't about to let them through into his mind. He had to take control.

He was about to walk into Jessie's Cookies for his usual americano but it wasn't open. In fact, it had been undergoing renovation for the past week. How did he forget this? Where has he been going for his fix?

It all started coming back to him, Barret's Café, the man with the tan and black hair, Zack; the drinks they had at 7th Heaven. He let the memories flood his mind and his mind fixated on the sexual encounter that he had had that night. Cloud did not want to think about it. It was never meant to happen; but he simply couldn't stop piecing together the events that lead up to it. His mind circling around the memory of Zack's lips against his own – Zack's flesh fused with his own- "Stop!" Why is this happening to me?

The realisation was that, he hadn't made a mistake that night. He had wanted it to happen and he lied to get into Zack's bed. He was selfish and lied to get his way. He had no right to be upset with Zack about taking his virginity, he had no right to be upset with Zack over the fact that he had simply gotten what he subconsciously craved for years. Zack had fulfilled his wildest dreams and his forbidden fantasies. It had only occurred to Cloud that he must have left the man confused and shaken, the manner in which he had grabbed his things and left – without muttering a goodbye. It is always so easy for Cloud to blame everything on alcohol instead of himself, yet he still continues to drink and make the same mistakes. Where is my wallet? Cloud patted himself down and rummaged through his bag, he had not brought his wallet and he didn't have his fake MIC (Midgar Identification Card) to purchase alcohol – he must have left it at home.

OOO OOO OOO

Three hours later and most of his room turned up-side-down, Cloud was not any closer to finding his wallet than he was when he first noticed that it was gone. He needed a drink, he needed to stop thinking about Zack and everything related to him. Then it occurred to him – my wallet is in Zack's room. This cannot be. Cloud was devastated. His real MIC was in there, too, if Zack looked through it; he'd know that Cloud had lied about everything. I have to get to his flat. Didn't he say that he had a day off between each two shifts? Today's his day off. Cloud raced downstairs, narrowly missing an awkward encounter with his father, and he ran for central Midgar.

Retracing his walk of shame, it didn't take him too long to make it to the area in which Zack had presumably lived. Cloud couldn't be too sure that this was the place, he was so severely intoxicated that he didn't pay as much attention as he would have liked to.

How am I going to retrace my way into his apartment? Cloud was growing more and more agitated and anxious by the moment until he eventually started ringing every intercom on the street, desperately ringing and asking, "Zack?" Each time to no avail until he eventually got it right.

"Zack?"

"Yes?" What am I supposed to say? He stood in silence for a few seconds before he gathered enough courage to reintroduce himself to the man.

"It's-" he sighed. "It's Cloud."

There was no reply from the opposite end of the intercom, only the buzzing of the front door being unlocked.