Tuesday (Continued)

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Cloud's anxiety escalated with every step he took to get to Zack's apartment. I can just turn back and forget that all of this ever happened. The walk upstairs was lengthy and Cloud ensured that he dragged it on as much as he possibly could; he was dreading the inevitable confrontation that Zack would put him through, he'd rather be anywhere but in this tenement. Before he could change his mind however, he saw that the door to the man's flat was left slightly ajar, presumably for Cloud's convenience and ease of access. This might not be so bad after all.

Cloud knocked on the door gently before pushing it open further, he wanted to at least be polite in this situation, he didn't want to damage this man's opinion of him even further than it already presumably has been.

"Come in," he heard a low voice call from within the apartment. Cloud wanted nothing more than to just go in, collect his wallet and leave – but he knew this wasn't how things were going to be, things are never simple in his life.

"I left my wallet," he stated sheepishly, his eyes fixated on the wooden floor, not daring to look up in case his gaze met Zack's. Cloud's heart raced as if he just ran a marathon and his hands were drenched in sweat; this was more than he had bargained for, perhaps more than he could handle before an inevitable breakdown. I need to get out.

"I know."

Shit. Shit. Shit. He knows.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me, Cloud?" the question was direct and the disappointment in the man's tone of voice was unmistakable, sending a gulp down Cloud's throat aching like shards.

It took another painful gulp and a pair of clenched fists to prompt the boy to reply, his manners haven't left him just yet, "I'm sorry, Zack. I really am." Cloud wasn't an apologiser; he couldn't care less about those around him but he knew that all of this was his own fault. He had to smooth things over before he left or this'd plague him.

The silence in the room was deafening and the tension between the men grew by the second. Cloud didn't dare look but he could feel the pain in the man's expressions; he really hurt him. Since when do I care about those that I hurt?

"Cloud," he let out an exhausted sigh. "What happened last night… it can never happen again and no one can know about this. We could both be in a lot of trouble because of your dishonesty."

"I don't need a lecture."

"Be quiet when you're spoken to. You – we – need to stop this: this could spell the end of my life and lead you down a path of misguidance." Zack was furious and Cloud's mind lingered on every word that the man spat out. He wasn't prepared for someone to detest him as much as he detests himself – especially not Zack, there was a hint of comfort which he felt when they spoke, a trace of home.

"You know nothing about me!" Cloud's mental state has reached its limit and he was falling apart right in front of the man that stole something he valued so much less than twenty-four hours ago. Fighting back tears and digging his nails into the palm of his hands, he snatched his possession from the coffee table and made his way out the way he came but this time, slamming the door shut behind him as he exited the apartment.

OOO OOO OOO

Who does he think he is? What makes him think that he's allowed to talk to me like that. Fuck him. Cloud's mind was flooded with why's and the disastrous confrontation seemed to be playing on repeat as he drenched his pillows in tears. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in far too long and he has never felt this much pain ever before. His aching body hasn't been able to recover due to his sleeplessness and his mental health was rolling down a downward spiral. The signs were all there and he could no longer brush them off as he grew used to – he needed help and he needed it fast.

Zack (Tuesday)

It had been way too long since Zack had had a drinking session as intense as the one which he'd had with Cloud the previous night. The effects of all those cocktails he'd sworn that he'd regret had almost paralysed his muscles and his eyelids felt heavier than his conscious. He could still smell Cloud, that same sweet smell that had infiltrated his nostrils just a few hours ago when he had buried his face in that messy pile of blonde hair to fall asleep.

All he had wanted at that moment was to put his arm around Cloud's skinny frame and pull him close, make him feel cared for and valued; this wasn't a one-night-stand – Zack didn't want it to be. It had been way too long since he'd had someone to hold, someone to wake up next to, someone to care for.

Today was his day off of work, this would be an amazing opportunity to spend some time with the younger man and get to know him, perhaps it could blossom into something bigger. Zack was too preoccupied, thinking of different ways to approach Cloud when they'd both had enough sleep to notice the younger man's movement on the opposite side of the bed, getting up and stealthily making his way to the other side of the shoebox-sized room.

Zack was going to open his eyes and utter a sleepy "good morning sunshine" and smile; he was going to make him his favourite americano for breakfast, it would be the beginning of something greater. He wasn't prepared for what Cloud was going to do. He heard a soft groan; a thud and the sound of fabric being lifted from the ground. Was this just a one-night-stand?

"Cloud? Is everything okay?" he asked the younger man sleepily, forcing his eyes ajar, allowing the light to pierce them and forcing them closed once again before he could even look at the blonde-haired man kneeling beside the bed. The pounding of his head skewed his face.

"Yeah, I have to go."

And he was off. Just like that, what Zack had started developing good feelings about, was gone. Fleeting.

OOO OOO OOO

Instead of running after the blonde man, enquiring about what was wrong, making sure that he didn't feel bad – his hangover forced him back asleep. It had been another five hours before he was awake again, feeling significantly better than he did at dawn. Before he got a chance to process the events of the early morning, he swung his arm to embrace Cloud only to be met by an empty space and crumpled sheets. He's gone.

The realisation was raw and jolted Zack straight up, he needed to make sure that he was alright, he remembered the groan and the thud; the pain in his voice when he told Zack that he had to go. Maybe he just had to get to university…

Zack began getting dressed and he was almost about to leave to wander around Midgar State University before he noticed an unfamiliar object on his bedroom floor: a wallet. Cloud's wallet.

He did not mean to pry, he did not mean harm and he certainly did not mean malice – all he wanted was to find out which Sector Cloud resided in to make amendments, he owed the younger man that much; after all, he could have hurt him unknowingly. An MIC was all he needed to find in the black leather wallet, it would give him the answers he needed and put his mind at rest – he wasn't expecting to discover that Cloud was underage and a liar.

Cloud Strife / Twenty-One Years Old / Sector 7

It put Zack's mind at ease, he would go to Sector 7 and attempt to find him instead of mindlessly wandering the Midgar State University – then he noticed another MIC in the slot which the one he held belonged.

Cloud Strife / Sixteen Years Old / Sector 7

Zack could feel his throat tightening and his heartbeat quickening, his hands growing cold and thousands of thoughts flooding his mind prompted a temporary shutdown to his system. This cannot be.

All Zack required at that moment was returning to his state of sleep, he needed all of this to be a bad dream.

OOO OOO OOO

He wasn't aware of the length of time which he had been asleep for and he lost track of the number of times in which he had woken up only to realise that what happened earlier was reality and not a dream. His emotions were mangled and he could not differentiate pain from fury, each emotion fuelling his inevitable breakdown. I could forget this… There was a ringing from deeper within the flat, his intercom. Zack was silently hoping that it was Cloud, but he was also dreading the idea of it being the boy at the same time, he wasn't quite sure how he was going to react upon seeing him in the light of finding out the truth.

Inevitably, upon reaching the intercom, the voice that had been projected from downstairs was warm and it was familiar, yet it was desperate, "Zack?".

"Yes?" his question was unnecessary – he already knew the name behind the voice, yet he wasn't sure if he was ready for this just yet. Am I scared? He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. I'm terrified.

There were countless things that Zack wanted to say to Cloud. He wanted to tell the boy off. He needed to make him aware of the danger that he has bestowed upon the both of them. He wanted to be upset, he wanted to hurt Cloud for hurting him – but he couldn't. His thought process was interrupted by an unexpected sound of gentle knocking to his front door. He left the door ajar to avoid coming face to face with the culprit, "come in".

The blonde boy entered the room and Zack hated the way it felt like he has brought life back into his apartment; he hated the way in which the boy stared at the floor and fiddled his fingers. Cloud was beautiful yet Zack knew that he could not allow himself to feel that way towards the boy and he knew that it would only hurt them both. This boy is a liar.

"I left my wallet."

"I know."

"Is there something you'd like to tell me, Cloud?" Zack snapped, not missing a beat; he had to find out why Cloud did what he did. He needed answers, he was hurting and he was developing feelings for someone whom he could not have, feelings that were illegal in their own sense. He couldn't keep his eyes off the boy and he hated himself for it. I can't think about him that way.

"I'm sorry, Zack. I really am." Zack didn't expect an apology, perhaps the boy wasn't as heinous as he originally perceived him to be. Everyone makes mistakes, he thought to himself. This wasn't just a mistake. It cannot happen ever again.

"Cloud, what happened last night… it can never happen again and no one can know about this. We could both be in a lot of trouble because of your dishonesty."

"I don't need a lecture." The unexpected rebuttal from the boy had taken Zack by surprise, he wasn't expecting Cloud to have the courage to stand up to someone much older than him the way he did; it certainly didn't please him.

"Be quiet when you're spoken to. You – we – need to stop this: this could spell the end of my life and lead you down a path of misguidance." Cloud's rebuttal prompted Zack to reconsider his stance against the boy – if he wasn't going to obey Zack and take his words into consideration like an adult, he wouldn't treat Cloud like one.

"You know nothing about me!" and he was right. Zack did not, in fact, know anything about the blonde-haired boy standing in his living room. He didn't say anything but sit in silence on the couch as the boy took his things from the coffee table and left, not sacrificing a beat to look at Zack even once during the daunting confrontation. The door slammed shut behind Cloud and Zack never felt so alone.

I want to know more about you, Cloud. You didn't give me a chance. "No, it's inappropriate." Life goes on, and once again, I'm forced to keep holding my thoughts in my heart.