Chapter Eight

You're the One

Ella

Seeing my mother standing in front of me, living and breathing was keeping me awake. I rolled over in bed to stare at the ceiling. "You're restless." Claire said with a yawn. "Turn out the light, babe." She reached over and ran her finger along the bridge of my nose.

"I can't."

"What's on your mind?"

"Other than the obvious?" I laughed dryly.

"More like, more specifically."

Clementine groaned in her sleep between us, and I reached down and scratched between her ears. She purred happily in response and cuddled closer to me. "More specifically... I have so many things bouncing around inside of my head." I rolled onto my side to look at Claire in the darkness. Her blue eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. "My Mom is back."

"She is."

"It's all I've wanted my whole life. I've wanted to know her."

"Now you get the chance." She said quietly, pushing my hair behind my ear. "So what's really bothering you?"

"Things are never easy for us, Claire. Never. We don't get to just have happy endings. Micheal is still inside of Dad, and honestly, I don't know anything about Mom. What if she's a nightmare? You remember what it was like when Grandma Mary came back... How disappointed Dad was."

"You're worried she won't live up?"

"Kind of. Or that I won't live up won't live up to what she expected me to be."

"You're the best person I know, Ella. You don't need to worry about that."

"But I do." I said quietly, my voice breaking. "This has been my birthday wish my whole life. To see my Dad happy. To have a Mom, and fuck... what if it doesn't fix everything?"

"She's just a person, El. You can't put that much pressure on her. She probably won't fix everything, but that doesn't mean that you can't have the things you want. Plus, I know she will love you. If not, she's probably missing her soul."

"You're a pretty big softie, for a badass hunter."

"Yeah, yeah. You do that to people." She smiled widely. "It's hard not to be all gooey around Eleanor Winchester."

"Gross don't say my full name. I feel like I'm in trouble."

"Oh, sweetie, you are in trouble." Claire grinned, wrapping her arms around me. She pulled me to her, taking my lips against hers in an urgent kiss. She was warm, and soft. She was present. It was hard to feel like anything could be wrong in the world when I was this close to Claire. Her lips were still minty from brushing her teeth, and I breathed her in. My fingers tangled in her curls as I ran my tongue along her bottom lip.

"Mmmm. Punish me then."

"I wonder if this is what your parents are doing." Claire mumbled against my mouth, causing me to yank away from her.

"What? Gross! I can't believe you. Just said that!"

She busted up into laughter. "What did you expect to happen, Nel? You thought they were just going to hold hands? I'm sure that's why they're locked in that bedroom. What did you think they were doing?"

"Honestly? I don't know... talking. Figuring their shit out. God, you think they just jumped into bed?" I didn't know why the thought was so disturbing to me. Claire was right, it was what I wanted. I wanted my Dad to be happy, but more than anything I wanted him to have the love of his life back. I wanted him to have what I had with Claire. I just hadn't considered sex, not really.

"I don't know." She admitted, opening her arms back. "Don't think too hard about it."

"It's all I'm going to think about now." I complained. "You planted a seed."

"Aw, stop, you little perv." She smiled and wiggled her fingers in a come hereway.

I rolled my eyes and cuddled back into her arms. Back where I felt safe. "God, I can't believe you brought up my parents having sex."

Claire shrugged. "I don't know. I think it's kind of sweet."

"Maybe, but still really fucking gross."

Dean

I wanted to kiss her. Fuck. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to take her into my arms like she never left, and memorize her body all over again. I wanted to kiss her, but it wasn't about what I wanted. The playing field wasn't level. It was like we were meeting for the first time all over again. She was Ava. She was a fucking angel, beautiful, perfect, and I was a fuck up. I was some old guy that'd been through his fair share of shit storms in the last decade and a half. She deserved to know it all before she was back back.

"I...I've missed you, Ave. More than I thought I could ever miss another person, but I think you deserve all of the facts before you decide."

"Decide? What is there to decide?"

"If this is what you want. If I...fuck, I'm not the same Dean Winchester you left. I don't even know that guy anymore." I admitted, through clenched teeth. "I just don't want you to feel obligated. To me, I mean. You have to see Nel... she's a fucking gift. Best thing I've ever done, Ave. You're gonna love her."

"So, what? You're going to lay out all the cards and then we just decide if we are going to stay married or get a divorce?"

"We've both been legally dead a few times over, Sweetheart, I don't think a divorce will be necessary."

"What do you want, Dean?" She asked me, seriously.

"It doesn't matter."

She smiled slightly and rolled her eyes. "You say you're different, but you seem the same to me." She took my hand in hers. "It matters. If I want to stay, and you don't want me to, then I won't. You're not obligated to me, either."

My eyes met hers. A sea of blue. An endless sky. Looking at her was a fucking Summer's day at the lake with Nel. Sammy teaching her to catch fish while I finish of a twelve pack by myself. It was s'mores in the night time, and stories dancing around the fire. Castiel telling us about the creation of the fucking world. Her eyes were home.

"I'm not obligated to you, Ava, I'm in love with you."

"After all this time?"

"What time?" I reached forward and brushed her cheek. "Time stopped when I lost you."

"It didn't stop, Dean. No time has passed for me." She murmured, her lips barely moving. "But for you... you've had an entire life without me. I want to know all about it."

"Okay." I ran my thumb across her cheekbone. "Fuck I don't even know where to start."

I caught a tear as it escaped her eye. "Start with Nel."

I smiled widely. "That's a pretty damn good place to start." I pressed my forehead to hers. "Come to my room?"

"Dean Winchester, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Actually, no." I smiled a bit. "I just have some things I think you'd like to see."

"Okay." She murmured, putting her hand in mine. I lead her through the hallway and opened my bedroom door.

"Welcome to my humble abode."

"It's..." She ran her fingers along my plain red comforter. "It needs a woman's touch." She turned and smiled at me. "Its very Dean."

"Thank you?" I raised an eyebrow.

She lowered herself onto my bed in a seated position. "What did you want to show me?"

I crouched down in front of the book shelf against the back wall and pulled out the baby books. "I tried my hand at scrapbooking." I explained with a dry laugh. "I sucked, but Cas was weirdly good at it. So... well we got this." I handed her one of the books and sat down next to her.

Ava

I couldn't say the words out loud. It was like I blinked. I blinked into another world. There I was, running my fingers over the front of a scrapbook that Dean Winchester put together. I wondered if the monsters knew that he cut letters out of patterned paper. I opened the book, and sucked in my breath. "Oh, Dean."

Photos of me and Sam the day Eleanor was born.

Every page tore at my heart a little more. Hand written scribbles next to photographs of Dean holding a toddler Eleanor with teeth poking through her pink gums. Tiny pigtails and perfect braids. Bows in her hair.

"Is this the bunker?" I asked, looking at a picture of Eleanor sitting on Sam's shoulders with her arms in the air in front of a weird building that was half under ground.

"Yeah." He said quietly, his thigh brushing mine. "It's weird, but it's home."

"How did you find it?"

"It's a weird story, actually." He laughed dryly. "We came across a demon... a Knight of Hell actually, and along with her came my Grandfather. Like through a portal." He raised an eyebrow.

"Weird, but not that weird for us. Go on."

He nodded. "Apparently back in the day there was a group of guys called The Men of Letters, kind of like hunters, but instead they read a lot of books. Kind of like Sammy."

"And this was, what? Their headquarters?"

"Basically."

"So you thought you'd move in?"

Dean shrugged. "Seems like as good of a place as any. It's safe, full of lore, in a good school district." He offered a bright smile.

He looked so good.

"What else?" I smiled, peeling my eyes away from him and back to the book. I flipped the pages. Stickers of angel babies, ketchup stains, Eleanor's kindergarten graduation. "What do the pictures not say?"

"She has a girlfriend."

I raised my eyebrows and met his bright eyes. "A... girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Cute little blonde."

"Huh. Is she nice?"

"She's great. Strong. A little edgy. She's a hunter."

"Dean Winchester!" I gasped, hitting his arm with an open palm. "You let her date a hunter? Are you fucking bananas?"

"No? Ow. Ave, she is your daughter. I can't stop her from doing anything. She's stubborn."

"She's a Winchester." I agreed with a sigh. "She would always be stubborn."

We looked at each other. There were years worth of pain behind his eyes. Pain that I wasn't sure I could heal. "Our girl is all grown up."

"She's amazing." He said quietly.

I pressed my lips together, trying to find the words. "Lacey was a demon, and I trusted her. It's all my fault that she got that demon blood, Dean. Has it..."

"Yeah. Yeah it has. Just manifested, actually. She's sort of... psychic, I guess. She can read minds sometimes. She pulled me out when I was stuck in a delusion."

"So she isn't..."

"Dark side?" He shook his head. "The exact opposite. She is the light, Ave. She's all light."

I covered my mouth to let out a sob that had been bubbling up inside of me. She's okay.

"Hey, shh." He pulled me against his chest, and I let it all go. Snot and all. "Ave, what's wrong?"

"She's okay... She's healthy, smart, happy. I'm so happy." I was heartbroken for missing her childhood, but Dean was a good father. He was everything I knew he could be. "I'm so glad she has you."

He kissed my hair gently, like he used to. "I was glad to have her. I think I would've lost it if I didn't have her to take care of."

"I know the feeling." I admitted, looking up at him. "You keep saying you've changed. That you aren't the same man I knew, but... But I know you, Dean. You're the same."

"I've just been through some shit, Ave."

"What shit?"

He let go of me and looked away. I could see the muscles in his back tense under his shirt. He was struggling. I reached forward and touched his shoulder, he flinched in response. "You can tell me." I murmured. I already knew what he did in Hell, what could be worse than that?

"The short version? I started the apocalypse, let Lucifer out of his cage, let him posses Sammy... Sam tossed himself into Hell to protect the world from Lucifer. He came back, with his soul gone. Fucking gone, Ave. He wasn't Sammy anymore. Cas went looney tunes a time and again. There were all of these Leviathan creatures that we had to take out. When we cut off the head, metaphorically, Cas and I got blown to Purgatory."

My head was spinning. "The Purgatory?"

"It was awful. I was there for a year, and Sam was here, playing Dad to Nel. That's probably the most normal her life ever was, but she was still pretty young."

I swallowed hard. "Are you okay?"

"It's been awhile." He said with a smile that told me, no. He was not okay. "Then... then uh..."

There's more?

I tried to hold it together, and wait for him to gather his thoughts. "I got the Mark of Cain. Which made me this horrible killing machine..." His hands curled into fists as he tired to level his breathing. "I did it to kill Abaddon. The demon that came in with my Granadad?"

I nodded slowly and reached my hand out to him.

He took it willingly, and gave it a squeeze. "And then... then I died." His eyes flickered to mine. I didn't move. I remained emotionless. He died, but he was in front of me.

"What was the catch?"

"The catch... I woke up as a demon." He winced.

"You're not... now right?"

"No. Sammy cured me."

"A cure? For demons?"

"That's what you're stuck on?" He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, theres a cure for a lot of shit that we didn't know about before."

"Okay, we can come back to that later." I exhaled a shaky breath. "Is that... it?"

"No. I got rid of the Mark of Cain, and it let out darkness... which is Gods sister. Oh shit, Ave. You remember Chuck?"

"The guy who wrote the Supernatural books?"

"Yeah, him. Well... funny story... he's God."

I couldn't control my face anymore. "Like God God. The God?"

"Yup."

"What the actual fuck?"

"Yup."

"He was ridiculous! He was wearing a bathrobe when we met him."

"Sure was."

"You weren't kidding." I shook my head. "Wow, So wait. God has a sister?"

"Yup. She was locked away in my arm making me fucking bananas. So when Rowena, this bad ass witch we know, got the mark off of me it sent the darkness out into the world. It was pretty touch and go for awhile, but turns out that her and Chuck just needed some sibling bonding time."

"Okay?" I raised an eyebrow, feeling like he had to be downplaying all of that.

"She had a thing for me."

"The darkness?" I asked, and he nodded with a shrug. "Of course she did."

"So she gave me something when we got her back with Chuck." I watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallowed. "She brought my mom back."

I stared at him. I tried to take in everything he was saying. His mom. "Mary?"

"Yeah." He smiled wide. "She's staying at Bobby's cabin right now, for some R and R."

"Bobby! How is he?" I asked, brightly. "I bet he's feeling older than ever after all of this..." My eyes landed on Dean's. His jaw was tight and at the mention of Bobby his eyes were red along the edges. I knew that look. "He... he died?"

"I'm so sorry, Ave. During all the Leviathan shit. It's... it's been a long time."

"But your mom is at his cabin?"

"Oh... well shit, there's more."

"More?" I felt sick to my stomach.

"Not much." He promised, quietly. His forehead was wrinkled. He could see right through my skin. Into the cracks that hide below the surface. I feared that he knew I was about to break. "Lucifer had a child. A Nephilim, is what they call them. A half human half angel."

"The antichrist?"

"That's what I thought, but no. The kid is good. He came out as a full grown teenager." He laughed dryly. "Weird little fucker, but we are trying to raise him. Nel is such a good sister to him. It's pretty incredible."

My eyes flickered to him. Another child. "How old is he?"

"Two."

"Hmm."

"When he was born it ripped a hole in our world. Into another version of earth. One that I never existed in... one where Dad died a long time ago. Before he ever met my Mom. Mom got stuck over there with Jack, the kid, and when we got them out a bunch of others came through with them. An alternate Bobby, and a few others that we lost in our world. It's kind of bonkers, but I just didn't want you to be surprised when you saw him. He's not your Bobby."

I nodded and ran my tongue along my bottom lip. "What else?"

"That's it." He said, sucking in his breath. I could tell he was waiting. Waiting for the other shoe. Waiting for me to run, but I think he forgot, after all of this time, that I am a Winchester. We don't run.

"That's a lot." I admitted slowly, my eyes trailing from his lips, nose, eyes. I locked my eyes to his. "I know what I want, Dean."

"And?"

"You. You fucking idiot. It's always been you." I grabbed his face in my hands. The scruff on his cheek scratched against my palm. "You've aged. You have scars that I don't recognize, but I'll learn them. I've memorized your body before. I've memorized your soul. I will memorize it again." I couldn't get enough of him. There was no more childishness in his face. He was a man, and fuck was he beautiful. "Thank you for staying alive. For waiting for me to find you again, because I believe that I will find always find my way back to you. Through distance, and through time. I'm here. I'm back, and nothing can keep us apart. Not anymore."