Ava

I kissed him. Of fucking course I did.

Dean

I couldn't breathe when she looked at me like that. "You. You fucking idiot. It's always been you."

A thousand times over. A thousand lifetimes. A thousand dreams, waking up in a cold sweat. It was her. It was always her.

Ava

It was urgent, and I felt him give way to me. I took the fabric of his flannel in my hands, and I pushed it back. He wiggled his arms out, his mouth never leaving mine. He sucked and bit on my bottom lip insistently. He only pulled back to reach behind his head, to pull his shirt over his head. I didn't get a good look at him before he pulled his mouth back to mine, tangling his fingers in my hair.

Dean

My fingers snaked under her sweatshirt. I'd never done drugs, well not anything serious. But for the first time I thought I understood addiction. I didn't think I could pull away from her if I tried, and that scared the shit out of me. I'd spent the last sixteen years, and the almost thirty before that, learning how to just be me. Sammy was the exception to that rule, and then it was Eleanor. I tried to keep everyone at a distance for a reason.

There was no distance between Ava and I, and I didn't want there to be. She was right, we had enough distance already. We found our way back to each other time and time again. She found me through time and space, and fuck that has to count for something, right?

Ava

Dean's hands explored my stomach, my back, the space under my breasts. I pulled back a bit, my lips leaving his. I watched his bottom lip poke out, like a child, and it made my stomach flip. I lifted my hands, and his pout quickly transformed into a huge grin as he peeled my shirt off of me and tossed it aside.

"You're so fucking beautiful." He said before pulling my face back to his.

I ran my fingers along his back. He had scars that I hadn't felt before, and it broke my heart. Our lips moved together. Time didn't stop for him like it did for me. Everything changed in a blink. He was Dean. He was still my Dean, but there was more. He had a lifetime of pain and change without me. I wouldn't let him live a second alone again.

I rested my hands on his chest and pushed him down slowly. I hovered over him. I leaned down and kissed him again. He ran his fingers down my back, taking my bra clasp in one hand, letting it loose. I shimmied out of it, tossing it aside. He leaned up, pressing his chest against mine. We were skin to skin and it made the hair on the back of my neck rise.

We were always good at that. Sex. It felt like a familiar song that that was played over and over again. It never quite got old. I could listen to it forever, and I planned to. His hand pressed flatly to his back and he flipped me over. I gasped in surprise as I looked up at him. He was smiling down at me. He always looked so fucking proud of himself. I loved that look.

He leaned down and left open mouth kisses down my neck, my collar bone, leaving purple pucker marks between my breasts. My heart fluttered as he kissed down my stomach and along my pant line. "Dean." I murmured looking down at him.

He smirked up at me, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of my pants. I lifted my hips slightly to allow him to shimmy me out of them. He ran his hands down my stomach and along my thighs. I opened my eyes to look at him, because the kissing had stopped.

His green eyes were wet along the edges and his mouth was slightly open. "Dean?" I propped myself up on my elbows to get a better look at him. He sucked his bottom lip in. I reached up and touched his cheek. "Babe." I exhaled. "What's wrong?"

He smiled, his lips still pressed together, as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I just can't believe you're here."

"Believe it." I whispered, wiping his tear. "And I'm not going anywhere." I leaned up and pressed my lips to his again desperately. "Be with me."

"Okay." He whispered against my mouth, but it didn't stop the flow of tears. I could still taste them in my mouth. I could feel his muscles tighten around me as he pulled me closer.

I kissed him slowly. We didn't need to rush. We had all of the time in the world. We were together, universe be damned.

Dean

About 12 years ago

"Daddy watch me!" Eleanor said from the top of the slide. She was four years old with two bouncy pigtails, and her two front teeth missing.

"I'm watching Princess! You got it!" I shouted back to her.

"Still kind of weird seeing you like this." Sam admitted, taking a swing of his water bottle. Cas sat at the end of the slide to catch Nel at the bottom.

"Like what? Relaxed?" I laughed dryly, giving Nel a thumbs up.

"Yeah, maybe. As a Dad. You're doing well."

"Thanks." I raised an eyebrow at Sam. I didn't need his approval, but I liked it anyway. "We fight monsters, man, and this is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done."

Sam laughed lightly. "That's an understatement."

"I never thought this would be our life, Sammy. That little girl... fuck I can't even explain how much I love her."

"I know what you mean." Sam said quietly.

Eleanor was our Kryptonite. There was no doubt about it. The littlest Winchester was adorable and eternally optimistic. Not to mention that shit eating grin that I knew she got from me.

I watched Castiel lift her up. "Good job Eleanor! You are an excellent flier!"

"Cassiel I am flapping my angel wings like you!"

My heart squeezed. I wished Ave could see her.

"What's on your mind?" Sam asked, bumping me with his shoulder.

"Life." I admitted quietly. "It's hard to think about all the shit we have lost, though, when everything is this sweet."

Sam nodded knowingly. "I get what you mean. I knew the moment I first saw her that nothing would ever be the same again."

"The idea of her changed everything." I admitted quietly. "But I never really thought I'd get to see her grow up, man, ya know?"

"And here you are. That's a fucking win."

I looked at Cas spin Nel around, her giggling uncontrollably. "Yeah, it is." I stood up and jogged to Cas. "I'm here to save you!"

"Daddy!" She giggled, reaching for me.

I plucked her from Cas' arms and held her against me. Her chubby arms wrapped around my arms, and I snuggled into her hair. "Did you have fun with Cas?"

"He is silly." She said pulling back. She put her hands on either said of my face and smiled widely before placing a large kiss on my nose.

"He is." I agreed. "I think it's about nap time, don't you?"

"No!" She whined. "It's ice cweam time!"

"Okay, okay. Fair enough. Ice cream and then nap."

She huffed but nodded in agreement. "Fine, but you nap too."

"You got it, kid."

She rested her head on my shoulder, and I thought she wouldn't make it to ice cream. She was exhausted. "I wove you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Princess."

It used to be hard to say, before Ave I never did. Not to Sammy or Dad or anyone. Once I said it, though, it was like a flood gate. I told the truth, and I'd be damned if my daughter grew up not knowing that I loved her. Not knowing that she was my everything, because she was.

Ava

Present

I could hear Deans heartbeat against my ear. I couldn't stop kissing his skin.

"I'm so fucking tired." He said with a breathless laugh.

"Me too." I laughed against the damp skin above his tattoo. I looked up at him. We made love for hours, making good on our promises to memorize each other again. "Dean?" I whispered, looking up at him. "We don't know what this is. We don't know how much time we have. What if there are consequences to me being back?"

"We will deal with them together." He pushed my hair behind my ear.

"I want to meet her." I said suddenly. I didn't realize the ache I had in my chest for our daughter. The absence I felt for the childhood I missed. "Do you think she wants to meet me?"

Dean sat up a bit and I followed his lead, looking at him nervously. "Ava Winchester of course she wants to meet you. I'm sure she's bursting at the seams. I've been selfish... I should've introduced you already."

"Hey, don't do that." I said, touching his cheek. "We needed this... us. Now when I look at our daughter I'll know that everything is right in the world." I smiled widely my tears welling up. "What should I know? What is she like?"

His eyes flickered away from mine. He was looking past me, so I turned to follow his gaze to see a pair of blue green eyes staring in through the crack in the door in the darkness. "Why don't you ask her?"

"I'm sorry!" Eleanor squealed shutting the door.

My heart was pounding, and I looked at Dean, trying to refrain from smacking him for not locking the door. He shrugged with a smile.

"Eleanor wait!" I called After her, struggling into my sweatshirt and pants. I pushed out into the hallway to find her leaning against the wall nervously.

We stared at each other in the darkness of the hallway. Everything we wanted to say floated between us. I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

"I'm sorry I stormed in on you two." Her voice was quiet, and somehow just as I expected it to sound.

"Don't be sorry." I said finally. "We were just talking about you."

She sucked in her breath and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Do you... do you want to go somewhere? To talk?"

Her eyes met mine and she nodded. "I'd like that."

She showed me where the kitchen was. "This place is like a maze."

"You get used to it." She said carefully before flicking on the light. I turned to look at her, and my breath was knocked out of my chest. My daughter. She was so beautiful with her sleepy aqua eyes and her fathers pout. Her hair was down and messy, and she wore one of Deans band T-shirt's. It looked huge on her. "What?"

"I'm sorry you just.." I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I pressed my hand to my chest, as if to keep it from crumbling under my fingers. "You're so big."

Eleanor sucked in her breath again, a tear rolling down her own cheek as she closed the space between us, wrapping her arms tightly around my middle.

"Don't cry." I said, as my own tears covered my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly.

"You first." She laughed a bit, sniffling.

She pulled back a little, but we stayed in our embrace. "You're so beautiful, Nel."

"You are too. You look so young." She touched my cheeks. "I bet Dads freaking out."

"Just a little." I admitted quietly. "Sorry I was here for a few hours and already scarred you."

"It was less scarring than I thought. He's been unhappy for so long. All I want is for him to be happy."

My heart warmed as I watched her. She was poised, and she carried herself unlike any sixteen year old I'd ever met. "That's all I've wanted, too." I took her hand in mine. "He did a good job raising you. I can tell."

"He's the best. I couldn't have asked for a better Dad."

"Tell me everything. I want to know it all." I said suddenly.

She nodded, letting go of my hand. "Okay, but I'm getting a snack."

"Deal."

She walked into the pantry and pulled out a party sized bag of Lays Dill Pickle potato chips and I smiled widely. "You like pickle chips?"

"I do." She said, her cheeks growing pinker by the second. "Dad thinks they're gross."

"I loved pickles when I was pregnant with you." I said softly. "Couldn't stop eating them."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I lowered myself into a chair at the table and she sat next to me.

"I love them, too. They're sour and delicious." Eleanor pulled a chip out of the bag and ate it, before offering the bag to me.

I pulled out one and plopped it into my mouth. She was right. They were so sour. My lips puckered and I felt chills. "Oh my god those are intense." I laughed and she met my laughter in response. "Other than pickle chips, what else do you like?"

"I'm.. I'm dating someone." She said carefully.

"Claire? Your Dad told me." I said with a smile. "What is she like?"

I watched her body relax at my words. She must've been worried that I wouldn't accept her. "She... she's so great, Mom."

Mom . My heart squeezed. It was easy, it was all so easy. It never had been easy for Dean and I. Maybe our chance was in that moment. Maybe it was finally here.

"She's so pretty, and she's had a really tough life. You know Cas, right?" I nodded. "She is his vessels daughter. Jimmy. Jimmy is gone now and has been for a long time, but when she got into some trouble Cas brought her in. I fell in love with her instantly."

"You love her." I breathed. "And she loves you?"

"She does. It's easy. Effortless."

"Being with the person you love should be."

"Is that... is that how it is with Dad?"

I nodded. "The universe hasn't always been on our side... but we loved each other. I couldn't have dreamed of a better love." I touched her arm gently. "He said she's a hunter."

"She is."

"That isn't what I wanted for you." I admitted quietly. "It's a hard life to love someone who is always leaving. Who is always in danger." I thought of all of the wounds I dressed for Sam and Dean. All the nights I spent wondering, especially when I was pregnant. All the times we lost each other.

"I know that." She met my eyes. "I've watched Dad go my whole life. Every day is like the last day, and it hurts, but I appreciate every moment." She leaned in seriously. "But if we weren't a family of hunters... then I wouldn't be here with you right now."

I nodded and pulled her into a hug. "You're right. I wouldn't change anything about your Dad. You can't help who you love, Nel. I know that better than anyone, but just be careful with your heart. You only get one."

"Dad always says if it hurts that means its real."

"He's smart." I said, pushing her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry, Nel." I pressed my lips together.

"Sorry for what?"

"For dying. For leaving you. I was supposed to be here."

Eleanor laughed quietly. "You're made for each other, you know that?"

"What?"

"You and Dad." She shook her head. "You can't apologize for something you have no control over. Plus, the past doesn't matter. All that matters is that we are together now. We are a family."

"She's right, you know." Dean said from the doorway. His arms were crossed and he leaned against the doorframe. "Sorry to interrupt."

"No you aren't." Nel said with a wide grin.

"You're right." He walked toward us. He wore a pair of sweats and an AC/DC t-shirt. "I'm a selfish asshole, and I wanted my girls."

I stood up, unable to stop myself, and I wrapped a single arm around him. Eleanor followed my lead and hugged him from the other side. The three of us folded into each other. Like it was always supposed to be.

"Nel?"

"Yeah Dad?"

"Thank you." He breathed.

Even if it was just for a second, everything was perfect.