Chapter Ten

The pitter-patter of the shower faucet cascaded down his arched back as Anna kneaded her fingers into it. He was so tense that she could feel his muscles stiffening.

"I know what this is Robert. I have been through it in therapy. You are storing all your feelings of guilt and shame and unworthiness. Tell me I'm wrong…tell me you don't feel that."

She kisses across the old scars on his back…reminders of the wars they had lived through all those years ago. She wishes she could take away all of this pain for him…pain she experiences on a daily basis.

"It's not your job to make me feel better about myself Anna."

"You are worthy Robert…you are so worthy. What do I have to do to convince you of your worth? Is this what Holly does to you…because if she does then…"

He reaches for her hand, their fingers linking together. "She's not wrong Anna. I've hurt her terribly."

"She's hurt you too. You have to stop doing this to yourself. You are a good man Robert Scorpio. You are not a perfect man but you are good. You have weaknesses just like everyone else. What happened to me is not your fault. Do you hear me Robert…It is not your fault."

"I should have been there Anna…I should have keep looking for you…"

"How could you know I was alive Robert…All that was left was ashes. "

"If I had gotten there sooner…"

"Don't do this. Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this…If it is anyone's fault then it is mine. If only I had a found a way to contact you sooner."

"It is not your fault Luv…none of this is your fault."

"It is not yours either. I love you Robert. When I took those vows with you, I meant every word."

"And you think I didn't…You were everything to me Anna…Everything...when I thought I lost you forever…"

"I know," she whispers. "It is okay Robert. Just relax. Let it all go for me. Let it go."

He closes his eyes as she moves her delicate fingers to his shoulders. "You're carrying the weight of the world right here on your shoulders. You do not need to do that Robert. You cannot possibly be everything to everyone."

I just want to be worthy of YOU Annie, he thinks. I want you to understand that this is not about me not choosing you…it is about the fact that I let you down. It is about needing to know if what we feel for each other will still be there after Faison is dead… I love you so much my Annie…but are you going to be able to look at me with those same sultry eyes after the danger passes. Has there already been too much despair for us to start over again?

"Where did you go Bobby? I can see the wheels turning in your head. Tell me how I can help you?"

He slid his arms around her waist, tugging her against him as he kissed her under the faucet. She could taste the salt from his tears as he held her in his arms. "Don't leave me Annie. Please, don't leave me. "

She understood what this was. He was afraid that one day he would wake up and she would be gone again…Or worse… that he would wake up to find that this was all just a wonderful nightmare and she was still buried in that cemetery.

"I'm here Robert. I am real. I am not going anywhere."

His fingers wind through her hair as he lifts her up against the shower wall. She is looking at him with those dark eyes as he caresses her cheek. As he gets lost in those heart- stopping eyes, he remembers that day so long ago when he first laid eyes on her. Those same intense brown eyes focused on his and for a few seconds it was as if nobody else existed. Even then, he knew she would be the one woman to get under his skin…He knew because even in those first few seconds, she completely knocked the wind out of him. It was such a cliche but it was true. He felt like when he met her, his soul recognized her...like his heart was whispering 'Oh there you are." She was his soulmate and he knew it from the first second he met her. No other woman ever effected him in quite the same way.

"Hold me," he asks, and she has never seen him quite so Vulnerable. She thinks she might know what is torturing him.

"Have you been having nightmares Robert," she probes.

"Every night. Just like you. Only for me, I keep dreaming of your death. It is always different but it is always painful. I wake up in a cold sweat and I feel like I cannot breathe. It is as if, every time you die… I am the one who feels the pain. "

"Oh Robert," she soothes. "After I was kidnapped, I went through the same thing. I knew you were hurting because I felt it in my bones. I hoped you were not feeling my pain."

She brushes a tear from his cheek and he admits sadly that he did…he just thought he was feeling it because he missed her so much.

She holds his face in her hands as she caresses him…then she brings her lips tenderly against his own. The kiss turns heated almost immediately as his tongue plunges into her parted lips. She wraps her arms around his neck as he lets his hands wander down her hips to her thighs.

He hears her call his name in a low guttural moan and soon he is settling between her thighs as her nails dig into his back. He kisses her neck as she accepts him inside her with rapid urgency. She shifts her hips as he thrusts deeper inside her and she can feel her release coming.

"Oh God Bobby," she pants and he rewards her with another earth shattering plunge.

"Annie," he gasps. "Oh God Annie."

When the water runs cold, he turns off the faucet. Anna still has her limbs wrapped around him so he reaches for a towel and begins to dry her hair.

"Bobby," she whispers against his ear as she sucks on it.

"Annie," he murmurs as he kisses each of her breasts.

He lifts her up off the ground and carries her to his bed. It was almost primal in the way they frantically made love again…Anna reminding him repeatedly that he was worthy. Maybe one day he would believe it but in this moment, the only thing he believed was that Anna Devane was as essential to his survival as the air he breathed.

It was in that moment that he made the decision to end things with Holly as soon as she returned. Their relationship had somehow grown toxic and only part of that related to Anna. He knew that they both made terrible mistakes in their marriage and it was time to end things before they grew to hate each other…If that was at all possible.

He did not know what the future held for himself and Anna but he did know that he could no longer deny that his love for Anna was stronger than his love for Holly. He kisses Anna's head as he holds her close.

"I choose you," he whispers, thinking she is asleep. "Anna I choose you."

Anna cannot help the smile that spreads across her face when sleep finally takes her. Robert finally chose her. All was right with her world again. After seven years in hell, she was finally home. Robert was her home.