Joe's Note: I'd like to start out by thanking papiliokaze for the awesome new addition to this story's summary. Probably the funniest review I've gotten in two or three years. Moving on, a few more people guessed what Luciana's ancestry is. Rock on. For all of you who haven't yet - or are only here because you like Harry Potter and my general brand of insanity - we'll be digging deeper into that particular mystery in this chapter. We should also be seeing the Cerberus contingent in another chapter or two, and possibly another look in on human's future Spectre. Kinda surprised at the lack of reaction to her first appearance back in Chapter 7; I didn't think any of you would see that coming, especially given her portrayal in the story that inspired this one…
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Leigh, Noh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Judedeath, Ken, Thyatira, William, Wil, Thomas, Jack, Pat, Chris, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing. Additional thanks go to the incomparable LogicalPremise for his amazing set of references covering many untouched facets of the Mass Effect universe, as well as listening to me ramble about ideas for the future of this story.

"Well, I suppose that explains the name. Collectors, eh?"

Ah yes, Aria would know what the Reapers' current thralls looked like, wouldn't she? After all, she allowed them to operate out of her station with impunity and even dealt with them herself on occasion. Luciana made a note to raise the woman's clearance despite her lack of firm commitment to their cause; she had a feeling that they would gain an ally against the Collector's predations once Aria knew who and what they really were. And if learning that she was indirectly aiding the Reapers with their cycle of galactic genocide against all spacefaring sentients didn't sway Aria? Upon her return to Óasi, Luciana would need to sit down with the archons to discuss removing Liselle and other assets from Omega… along with the practicality of invading and subjugating the station. "Not quite. Or perhaps right in a way, but not entirely so."

Aria opened her mouth to question that, only to find herself cut off by the one - or rather, one of the two - that Luciana was actually on the station to see. "You have four eyes." Unaffected by the glare that Aria shot her way, Luna leaned forward as she stared up at Luciana in wide-eyed fascination. "And you're not part-batarian. Their eyes are arranged vertically, not horizontally."

"And you, Luna Lovegood, are a small blonde human who is currently wearing something that is far too stylistically similar to a Thessian justicar's outfit to be mere coincidence." Luciana let out a soft chuckle as Luna merely shrugged in response, her purple dress brushing against the floor as she closed the remaining few feet and leaned down so her face was mere inches from Luna's. "You have clearly been gifted with fantastic powers of observation, little one. Is there anything else you'd like to share with us?"

Rather than take advantage of their closeness by leaning in for a kiss - as Luciana honestly expected based on Calia's reports about the woman - Luna actually pulled back a bit… and then her eyes dipped to stare unashamedly at the exposed tops of the asari's breasts. After almost a full minute of intense inspection, silver eyes slid back upward to meet Luciana's quartet of golden orbs and then the corners of Luna's mouth inched upward. "You have an amazing rack."

Groaning in disgust, Aria buried her face in her hands even as Luciana burst into loud laughter at the blonde's comment. She really needed to get off of Óasi more often, she decided; it was genuinely refreshing to deal with people who treated her with none of the reverence that came with a position she was essentially stuck with due to her heritage. And while she had no real interest in Luna, it was always nice - especially at her age - to hear that someone- "This one is of the opinion that more than a handful is a waste." Luciana shot an incredulous look back over her right shoulder, making Epipsychidion cross her arms over her chest defensively and look away. Seriously? Last time she'd had checked, Epipsychidion had been well into her seven hundreds, not seventy. "This one's are also significantly perkier."

"Yes they are. But while I generally prefer quality over quantity, quantity is a quality all its own when you're in the mood to go motorboating." Blinking owlishly, Luciana returned her attention to Luna, who cocked her head to the side curiously as she looked from Luciana to a point over her shoulder - presumably Epipsychidion - and back several times. "Why does everyone look confused? Is that not a thing anymore? Or does it have a different name now? I'm talking about when you press your face into someone's cleavage and shake your head back and forth rapidly. Some people - myself included - like to accompany it with noises."

"Is that what it's called? I remember a few of my dancers mentioning that humans do it to them, but I…" Trailing off, Aria shook her head. "Why am I letting myself get distracted? I really, really don't care. Matriarch, I'm a bit too attached to my life and position to demand anything of you. Pelesa, occasionally. You… no. So would you perhaps humor me by enlightening me as to exactly what you are, if you're not in fact a Collector hybrid? And then perhaps take your leave so that you can do what you came here to do and I can go back to running my station?"

Despite her own curiosity about this whole 'motorboating' thing, Luciana was willing to concede that Aria was right: they both had more important things to do at the present. And besides, she could always ask Luna about it once they were in private. Perhaps even request a demonstration before the blonde got too wrapped up in Epipsychidion. Or on Epipsychidion; despite the justicar's words, she wasn't exactly a 'handful' herself and would probably qualify for the experience. Straightening up, she considered the first half of Aria's request as she smoothed her hands down the front of her flowing gown before deciding to indulge the Thessian's curiosity. "Seeing as how we'll be discussing the Collectors in greater depth before I leave Omega, I see no problem with sharing a bit of information now. The Collectors and my particular strain of Sylléktries would be… siblings, I suppose? We're both descended from the same forefathers: the protheans. The species, not the empire."

Aria's brow furrowed in thought for a few seconds, and then she shook her head ruefully. "I'm sure there's a positively fascinating story behind how your mother managed to fuck a prothean, but I'm equally sure that I don't have time for it right now. Maybe we'll revisit that after the conversation we're evidently going to have about the Collectors. If there's nothing else, I'll release Lovegood into your protection and let her show you to where her and Potter are staying. I'm reasonably sure that you can keep her from getting killed between now and when you leave the station. Reasonably because… well, I've met her."

"I'm sure that Epipsychidion will take excellent care of the woman that she's hoping will be the aithntar of her firstborn daughter." Raising her left arm, Luciana activated her omni-tool and called up the highly edited data file that she'd prepared, transmitting it to Aria. "The Illusive Man is dispatching a pair of operatives to try and interfere with-"

Luna abruptly hopped to her feet, waving her hands back and forth to get Luciana's attention. "Wait a minute. Are you saying that you want me to shag the walking glow stick and make baby asari with her?" Furrowing her brow, Luciana held up a finger and then accessed the extranet via her omni-tool. After looking up exactly what a 'glow stick' was, she looked over at Epipsychidion and then shrugged. It was a… crude but not entirely inaccurate way to describe the Sylléktria's appearance. "Yes! Yes yes yes! Woo! We need to tell Harry. Immediately. And then I'll make jokes about our first threesome being out of this world. Get it? Because you're an asari?"

Before Epipsychidion could gather her wits and reply, Luna lunged forward and wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist. Then she twisted her hips slightly and the pair… disappeared? Luciana's jaw dropped as she took a step forward, reaching out and waving her hand through the space that Epipsychidion and Luna had just been occupying. "Yeah, she does that." Aria picked up a nearby glass and pitched it through the empty space, letting it shatter against the floor at Pelesa's feet. "Didn't know she could bring anything with her, though. It actually makes her even more terrifying than before, now that I think about it. Because if she can pop more than just herself, she could pop a bomb somewhere. Or a krogan high on red sand, which is even more destructive and probably easier to get your hands on around here. Shit. I should probably stop threatening to shoot her and her boytoy, huh?"

"If the Sylléktrion justicar order still exists a month from now, it may do so without the asari who has been its head for the past three centuries. That is how fascinated Epipsychidion is by this young woman that you've discovered. So… yes, you should probably stop threatening Luna if you value your continued existence. 'Popping' ability notwithstanding." Luciana allowed Aria a few seconds to process that before pressing onward. "As I was saying, we took steps to ensure that both The Illusive Man and the Shadow Broker would be aware that we had designs on your guests. The Shadow Broker's team, you can do with as you see fit. Kill them, capture and sell them, it matters not to me. As for the Cerberus contingent… the file I sent you contains their information. One of them is mine; accord her the same hospitality that you've shown Luna. The other is of no consequence."

The curling purple line that ran along Aria's right brow inched upward at Luciana's request. "I see. And just what would your justicar say if she heard you endorsing slavery? Or cold-blooded murder?"

Luciana let out a faint snort at that; had Aria looked in a mirror lately? Was she actually foolish enough to think that her own behavior was acceptable in the eyes of a justicar? To say nothing of… likely a good ninety-five percent of the denizens of the wretched hive of scum and villainy that she ruled over? "Firstly, Omega exists outside the remit of either currently extant justicar order. Otherwise, our meeting would have unfolded in a completely different way. Secondly and most importantly… do you really think anyone who works for either of those organizations would be considered innocent in the eyes of the Code? The only reason I'm not telling you to kill or sell all of them is because I have plans of my own for Miss Lawson that-"

Before she could finish her sentence, there was a faint pop from behind Luciana. Then a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind and the world went black around her as she felt herself being squeezed through a tiny tube.

Aria stared at the space previously occupied by Luciana for several seconds before tilting her head back and sighing loudly. And just when she was started to get invested in that monologue. Now she'd never get closure. Well, at least until Luciana enacted whatever she had planned for her chosen Cerberus peon and Aria got to witness it all unfold. Still. That meant waiting and despite centuries under her belt, Aria was a terribly impatient person sometimes.

Speaking of being terribly impatient, though… her eyes drifted over to the massive asari who had accompanied Pelesa on guard duty. "Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about voyeurism? Because I figure that as long as Pelesa's up here… well, Lovegood and Potter claim that one of their spells can repair anything. I feel like my bondmate and I are being issued a challenge."

The bright flash of light that accompanied the pop of Luna's apparition made Harry look up from what he was doing in the kitchen, and then he raised an eyebrow as the sight of what was easily the oddest-looking asari he'd laid eyes on to date. Presumably a Sylléktria based on the predominately purple outfit, with elongated crests that pulsed with light. As he watched, they transitioned from bright blue-white flashes to a chaotic, almost distressed-looking cavalcade of colors and then the asari began vomiting noisily onto the floor of the apartment. Luna offered Harry a sheepish look, vanished the existing mess, and then disapparated as the new arrival continued to void her stomach noisily. "Got apparated without warning, huh?"

The largely rhetorical question went unanswered for several minutes as the asari continued to revisit what appeared to be everything she'd eaten in the last decade. Eventually, the disgusting display came to an end with a few dry heaves, her crest settled back down into rhythmic blue-white pulses of light, and then she sucked in a shuddering breath before looking up at him with wide eyes. "That was the worst thing this one has experienced in the last seven hundred and forty-two years. What… was that?"

Harry shook his head as he set down the knife he'd been working with, circling around the kitchen island and making his way over to the asari. Drawing his wand, he made quick work of the rest of the mess she'd created on the floor, hit her boots with a low grade cleaning charm just to be on the safe side, and then finished up with a breath freshening charm. "Congratulations, I think you're the first alien to ever be side-along apparated. But if you're asking what it was in a less literal sense, you're in luck because a friend of mine studied apparition extensively and finally managed to put a bit of science to our magic. While we still don't understand exactly what magic is beyond a form of energy that we can naturally manipulate… basically, apparition is when we use it to perform spacial folding and transport ourselves instantaneously from one point to another. And I'm hoping you know what spacial folding is and that explanation makes sense to you, because Hermione lost me about five seconds after that when she started using words with far too many syllables. I do remember hearing the phrase 'Einstein-Rosen bridge' several times, though, if that helps you any?"

"This one is afraid that she hasn't put any serious study into the sciences in over half a millennia, but spacial folding was covered during the basic physics classes she took back in her twenties. If she recalls correctly, it's currently believed to be impossible given the limits of our science and technology, even on Óasi. The fact that you can do it naturally is…" Trailing off, the asari shook her head in disbelief as she brushed past Harry and stumbled over to throw herself down bonelessly on the couch. After taking a few more breaths to center herself, she looked up at Harry uncertainly. "Exactly how powerful are the two of you?"

There was a muted pop as Luna reappeared, followed by noisy retching as the second asari to ever be apparated proved no better suited for it than the first. Even as Luna rubbed the newcomer's back and vanished the vomit as fast it appeared, she stared intently into the eyes of the still nameless asari on the couch. "Terrifyingly powerful, I'm sure, even compared to people who can control dark energy and mass effect fields. Biotics has nothing even remotely similar to transfiguration or conjuration, as Alyona found out today, and even most of our battle magic is beyond anything a biotic can do. Your powers are… remarkably limited compared to ours, to be honest. Neat, with a very pretty glow, but very limited." Bringing her free hand up, Luna tapped a finger against her temple. "For instance, I just used eye contact to channel my magic and scan your surface thoughts, which was how I knew that you asked the question even though I wasn't here. With my wand, a bit more power, and some concentration? I could use legilimency to dig around in your memories and find specific things that I wanted to see."

"Given that asari can share information through even linking, this one finds your 'legilimency' to be… disquieting from a security standpoint, but not truly terrifying."

"…that makes sense, yeah. Hmm. Well, maybe once Luciana is done vomiting, I can conjure something and then transfigure it. See how you feel about me then." Luna gave the woman beside her one last pat on the back as the asari entered the dry heaving stage, vanishing the last of the mess on the floor before making her way over to sit next to… Harry paused. Luciana. As in Matriarch Luciana? Leader of the Sylléktries? That was who'd just finished puking on his floor? Lovely. What a wonderful first impression they were making on the people whose help they needed. "By the way, how do you feel about… no, Pipsy sounds like a house elf. Maybe Epee? It's a type of human sword, which feels like an appropriate name for someone like you. I'm usually fine with full names, but I just feel like focusing enough to scream 'Epipsychidion' in bed is going to take me out of the fun."

…and that certainly wasn't going to help matters any. Groaning, Harry buried his face in his hands. "Luna…"

If not for the fact that they'd made eye contact after she dumped off Epipsychidion - and that was quite the mouthful, he had to agree - Harry would have almost thought that Luna was unaware of his presence up until that point. "What? It's a very real concern, considering she's the one they want me to shag and have babies with." Well that changed… not much, really, since he still wasn't entirely sold on the idea of the Sylléktries yet, no matter how well they suited his current needs. Not to mention that it was just plain crass to talk about that sort of thing in front of others. Which had never really stopped Luna, Harry was forced to admit, but… there was no time like the present to pick up a new good habit? "Oh! Introductions. Harry, this is Epipsychidion. She's the soon to be ex-Justicar Mistress of Óasi." Leaning forward, she lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "She wants to shag me so bad that she's quitting her job. That's incredibly flattering, isn't it?" Even as a darker blue blush stole across Epipsychidion's bright blue cheeks, Luna raised her voice and continued on as if she hadn't just offered that little tidbit. "And the lovely busty asari in the dress that was probably meant for someone two or three cup sizes smaller is Luciana. I don't know if she's here to shag you, but I wouldn't mind having her in our bed too. She has really pretty eyes. And a bunch of them."

As Luciana straightened up and tried to regain her composure, allowing him to finally get a good look at her, Harry found himself amending his earlier statement. Now this… this was the oddest-looking asari he'd ever seen.

Although Harry had to concede, Luna was telling the truth. Luciana's eyes were rather pretty…