Chapter 8:

Jamie Reagan was the only partner Eddie Janko had ever really had. Sure, there were brief spans of time when she'd ridden with someone else because of injuries, temporary stuff or even rips from their commanding officers. But it was always just that - temporary. They chose to stay together through anything and everything. After Jamie became a sergeant, the brass assigned Eddie a series of different partners to fill their shifts. Rachel was the first person Eddie had ever chosen for herself. As silly as it sounded, even to himself, Jamie was bothered by that. What made it worse was they were getting along great. Not even three months riding together and they talked every day - and not just about work.

Eddie was sitting at the table just wondering what was going on. For the past week Jamie had been completely confusing. He seemed to be happy one minute and distant the next. They had both agreed that as long as they were both on the street and in the same house, they would take professionalism to the next level at work. They were absolutely determined that nobody would ever be able to say working together had affected the job. But it seemed that for the past few days, Jamie was keeping her at arms length at home too. She didn't know what had happened, but she was sure now it was something. One minute she's talking to Rachel and the next minute he's off sulking. Just like last night when she and Rachel were texting and Friday night too. "Oh wait a minute" she thought to herself. "Can that really be it?" Before she could think about it any more, the bedroom door opened.

"Sorry about that, I was just frustrated trying to carry all that crap." He explained but never quite made eye contact. "Did you see I brought you some of their great guacamole?"

Jamie immediately busied himself pulling out the container with her enchiladas and getting his own dinner for himself. As he arranged things on the table, Eddie quickly grabbed forks and glasses of iced tea for both of them. She watched him closely, trying to decide how to handle this. It would have been the easier choice for her to take his answer at face value, but the reason why their relationship had lasted so long was because neither of them was afraid to poke the bear when need be. Tonight it was Eddie's turn to shake up her husband just enough to figure out what was bothering him.

"So what's eating at you lately?" She bluntly asked once they sat down.

Jamie tried to avoid the question because with every passing minute, the truth became more embarrassing. "Nothing really, it's stupid. I must be over tired. Thursday after we finish up at the 6-3 I'm coming home to get some sleep." He still continued to concentrate on the food in front of him a bit too intently.

"You've been getting plenty of sleep," she countered. "But lately every time I turn around I'm doing something to bug you." She sadly finished.

"Ed, I AM tired and while this op may just be another line on your resume for detective, I've got a lot at stake." Jamie looked up and snapped. Now he was being petty, and he wasn't even sure why.

"Why are you acting like this?" She softly asked. "I can't say anything right, anymore." Eddie stood up, pushed in her chair, and walked out of the room. She knew she should stay and get to the bottom of things but she was tired and sore, and he was pushing her away.

After she went into the bathroom, he heard the water running. He knew she'd already taken a bath, so clearly she was just having a good cry and wanted something to cover it up. Jamie cleaned up their food, putting both containers in the fridge since neither of them had much of an appetite left. He went into the bedroom and sat down on the bed to wait for her.

Eddie did decide to take a shower, if only to hide the tears that were freely flowing now. She stepped under the water. She was totally exhausted. The adrenaline that had carried them through since almost 4 am had worn off. She was sore from a long challenging run and her solid, dependable husband was making no sense at all. After a few minutes she grabbed herself a towel off of the heated towel rack that was by far her favorite bridal shower gift. Leaving the water running to give herself a few more minutes to hide out, she sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. The warm towel usually felt nothing short of amazing, but tonight it wasn't making her feel any better. She could feel the tears start up again as she tried to decide what to do now.

After 15 minutes had passed, Jamie began to talk to her through the closed door. It was the only thing he found easier than talking while driving, staring straight through the windshield. Jamie had found most of his moments of raw honesty came when he had some kind of buffer zone. It didn't matter if it was over the phone, staring anywhere but at her while they drove or talking to her through a closed door, Jamie was his most forthcoming with some sort of barrier. He knew it wasn't his best quality. He heard her shuffling around the bathroom quietly so he knew she would hear him.

"Ed, I think I'm struggling with the new role. I'm missing you and I on the job. I want to be your best friend again, but lately I feel like an outsider. Part of being a boss I guess, right?"

He heard the water stop running as she shut the shower off to be able to hear him better.

"I guess every time I turned around this week, I was under someone's microscope and you were off sharing some private joke with Rachel. I'm jealous Eddie. I know you'll think I'm being ridiculous but I can't help it. I miss being your partner. I want to be the first person you tell everything to."

The door swung slightly ajar and her voice spoke from the bathroom.

"Jamie, you are my best friend. You are the first person I tell about anything important, not to mention most things that are unimportant. But Rachel is a solid partner and she's also the first female friend I've had in a really long time. Not a friend I made through you, like Kara or Linda, but I friend I made myself. Another woman I can talk about girl stuff with. I may be going a little overboard, but it's been a long time since I've had a friend to get a manicure with or go shoe shopping. Not things I've missed out on, or things I did with you, but things I've had to do alone for a long time. I would honestly spend every waking and sleeping moment with you if I could. But since I can't, I'd like to make a few friends outside of our family. Is that wrong?"

"That's my point exactly. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm being ridiculous and I know it. Do you see why I didn't want to talk about it?"

The bathroom door opened and Eddie came out. Her face was tear stained but full of concern. She sat on the floor at Jamie's feet and put her head in his lap. "Since we're talking about friends, I think you might feel better if you talk to one of yours...Lieutenant Renzulli must have dealt with all this when he became a sergeant. Yet, he seemed to really enjoy the job. Why don't you talk to him about how he found the right balance."

"I think that's a great idea, baby. I think I also need to make sure we have some down time fun. Everyone tells us about having date nights and working on the marriage. For us Eddie, I think we need to spend some time working on the friendship too...I'm sorry I've been such a jerk. Of course I want you to have girlfriends. I'm going to get over my hang up. I just needed to be reminded that we're still best friends...Can I just ask you one question...who the hell is Frankie?"

For the first time all night, Eddie laughed out loud.

"Seriously Eddie it's been driving me crazy. Who is this guy?…girl?...I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure out who you've been spending all this time with." The look on his face was seriously pitiful.

Eddie looked up and with all the seriousness she could drum up, and she told him.