Chapter 6: Search

The sun was beginning to come low into the sky, painting the sky in a warm red color and cool violets near the horizon. Ralph had been trying, for the past ten minutes now, to summon the will to call the meeting he had promised would ensue to Jack. But every time he was able to allow himself to move, he was struck with the overpowering drive to keep himself absolutely silent. It was like he was obligated to keep himself mute. Although he knew, for certain, that this stemmed from the guilt that had stockpiled in his system from the night prior, and from the fact that Simon was nowhere to be seen, even after the usual amount of time that he would be found missing.

He grinded his worn teeth in vague frustration. He felt that his fear to do this was stupid. Why would it matter, to him or everyone else, if one person wasn't present, if the person that was one of the exceptions to the meeting's purpose was not present? Maybe it didn't matter to the others, but it mattered to him. And that was for a vexatious reason he could not exactly distinguish, and under the bane of the sun, it only furthered his frustration and formed it into further restlessness. Ralph's mind wandered back to the taunts, from not too long ago. About the specialness he had apparently imbued to his friend. He did not know why that existed, either, or why he had been taunted about it, as if it were more than trivial that he was friends with someone else.

He cast a futile eye to the forest. Somewhere in there, pig hunting was happening, and someone else was in there, in wait of the event's end. He felt strangely untied to these situations however, as if they were not real. As if they were simply insignificant in this newfound world, a place without much drive or motivation to complete the tasks of life that were usually uphanded by those much older than himself. He suddenly felt, even if briefly, free of his responsibilities.

Then the weight returned in a sudden realization, if not an expectedly futile one.

He is out there alone.

That was true. Simon was out there, alone in the woods, completely unarmed, and in the presence of a monster that Ralph had begun to truly accept the existence of. The thought frightened him, something deepset in his bones. He could be destroyed out there and no one might ever know, they might just think that he's gone off on his own and doesn't wish to be with them anymore… and even if there was no beast, his friend might be mistaken for prey. And that would certainly not end well for any of them.

He could hear the screaming of the littluns at the edges of his earshot, a further reminder of the fact that he was a person with responsibilities. Important ones. But maybe it was also his responsibility to try and ensure that no one died. People back at home would do that; a good leader would do that.

Exhaling through his teeth, he set the conch down one last time and made his way over to the treeline. It looked darker than usual, something that unsettled him, but he chalked that up to just having his eyes not quite adjusted to the darkness as of yet.

The interior of the forest was just the same; some obnoxiously vibrant flora at the entrance before it sloped into a thicket of undergrowth, which served as a sort of passage into other areas. He made note to work to clear that particular area out if they were to stay here for much longer. Which he hoped would not be the case, considering how things had been going so far...

Going down the slope, he descended into a screen of ivy which served as a sort of barrier between himself and the deeper undergrowth. On the other side the ground was much cooler than that exposed to the golden earth above, a respite that soothed some of the staled sunburns on his skin. But he paused for only a moment before continuing, tearing at the verdant earth to clear a path for himself. He moved urgently, feeling a sense of drive not dissimilar from something one might feel if they feared being late to a party. He thought it strange that he would make such a comparison, even out here, where none of those commodical comforts appeared.

He only wanted to go home.

His continuation into the lower earth turned colder still. It was becoming a chilly autumnal texture, and he did not like that. It was wrong, in a way, in a way did not know how to describe. None of this should have been this cold in the first place. A deceitful contrast to the heat he had been accustomed to.

A gelid crawl shivered along his back. This place was not right. It was not a dissimilar situation to the one from earlier today, only with its own twisted spin in that he was alone, crouched in the underbrush like a concealed animal.

The light here was strange. He could only describe it as a slipping twilight-moments that passed him by without his notice, a strange absence of anything or anyone where there were supposed to be other people. But there was not silence. There was still the insectoid humming, ever-present and eternal, a droning noise that had managed to infiltrate even his dreams of home at times. Maybe some of Simon's battiness was rubbing off on him. Maybe it had always been like this and it had just slipped his notice this entire time.

As if he were not supposed to move, he scratched the ferns off his body and stepped haphazardly over a ditch in his path, and he almost instantaneously recognized it to be the pig-run Jack had showed him earlier. There were no signs of disturbance in the small crevice underneath. They must have already been scared out of hiding.

He narrowed his eyes. Somewhere in the underbrush he could see a flash of dark hair, and he was excited at first; but then he caught sight of the second detail, the somewhat frighteningly pale skin-at least, in terms of what would be considered frighteningly pale at a place like this-and he concluded that his hopes were only faulty. Within an instant he could deduce the identity of the person in question; Roger. Even though he was Jack's friend, in truth that was not the individual he had been expecting-or rather, hoping-to see, but it was someone who he could see had some… versatile humanity.

Ralph's frustration increased and faded. For only a fleeting moment he thought he had found his friend, but instead he found only a hunter. Just his luck. Or maybe he would never find Simon at all? Was his warning a closer premonition than he had originally implied?

There was a rustling, not too distant in the trees. He froze for a second before continuing to move. He might've been mistaken for some sort of prey, like he thought Simon would have been, and he hoped to avoid that. He could only hope that the crashing in the ferns behind him was really a sound heading in a different direction, and not his.

That hope was proven incorrect once he felt something nearly slice against his shoulder-and he flinched as it punctured into the earth beside him, apparently missing by some hidden miracle.

He whipped his head around to face his attacker, but instead of being met with pale eyes as he was expecting, there were only dark ones, glistening with a morbid spark that was foreign to him, one that he could not quite deduce the intensity of.

His knuckles gripped so hard to the weapon that they were white, and dark bangs hung lowly in his face, which didn't seem to bother him very much but painfully made Ralph aware of his own yellow strands, thinned and made stringy by a lack of maintenance.

The other was suddenly overcome with some sort of strange reverence, shown by the widening of his eyes and the paces backwards he took. He said nothing, only clutched tightly to the makeshift weapon in his hands and dragged his fingers across it slowly.

"Sorry," he muttered, not like he was unapologetic-more like he was almost intimidated by Ralph's presence, which perplexed the fair boy. His eyes nervously flitted between the chief and some random location that he could not distinguish.

He wondered briefly about the true intentions of Roger. He had never once truly seen him carry out any explicit act of violence, but he'd always thought that he'd gone into that state while he was out of Ralph's vision, considering his relationship with Jack. He was certain that he was likely predatory somewhere on the inside, but fortunately that assumed aspect of him seemed to be not showing at the moment.

"What are you doing?"

There was no attempt to make a response or any sort of regard to what Ralph had said himself; only some awkward shuffling and a deeper lowering of the spear. It was almost like he was genuinely curious, although his tone would suggest otherwise.

"I'm looking for someone," the fair boy replied simply. It was truthful, but he wasn't feeling up to giving a full response at the time. He tried to regain his focus and gather his bearings for the area again, scanning over the tinted undergrowth and scratching at the dark earth to tear some of the floor-creepers away, which had, as usual, become a nuisance.

"Oh. I thought you were going to have a meeting."

"I was. But I have to do something first." He narrowed his eyes. Roger's curiosity certainly began to edge on his nerves; he had never seemed particularly inquisitive or even talkative for that matter. Although, perhaps Ralph was only paranoid, considering Roger's occupation… and also, considering his somewhat addled state due to his increasing nervousness that he wouldn't find Simon after all, maybe he was right to be a little frightened.

"We are hunting."

Ralph was almost relieved to hear about that particular subject again. Right. That was the reality of the situation. It was only hunting, not what Simon had implied what the hunters would do... The sudden encounter had snapped him out of the surrealistic attitude he'd possessed not too long ago.

"Maybe you shouldn't. You might hurt someone. Like the littluns. You'll just slice right through their shoulders."

He thought briefly of a bladed weapon gliding smoothly through bleeding flesh. A disturbing, macabre idea, made real by the fact that he'd come close to being in a similar state.

"But the pigs." Ralph turned away from his search in the growth to see that an unusual intensity had formed in Roger's eyes, not dissimilar from Jack's whenever he spoke about this subject, but it was also foreign. Something dangerous that remained unleashed for the time being. He narrowed his eyes in observance.

"There's nothing special about them," he replied, almost aggressively. "It seems that's all you hunters will ever talk about."

A momentary pause passed between them, and in that time Ralph turned back, casting a halfhearted glare. The glint in Roger's eyes had returned.

"But don't you want meat?"

Ralph froze. The temptation of meat arose once again, the temptation to feed the necessary desire for flesh. Humans could not survive on fruit alone, but he had to try, for if he didn't… well, he honestly didn't know what would happen if he ate some of the meat. It seemed harmless, although the idea of being the one to go through with the killing still disturbed him a little. There was just the perpetuating idea that consuming the meat was wrong in some way or fashion.

"No," he scowled, "it isn't right to eat the meat." The glint in Roger's eyes vanished.

"Oh," Roger mumbled, clearly made uncomfortable by his statement. Ralph turned his attention back to scouring more of the deeper part of the jungle, getting increasingly annoyed and being left to wonder why he wasn't being left alone yet. Although, he was lacking the right courage to ask the other boy directly as to exactly why he was being followed. "Why not?"

"Because," the fair boy scowled, "I've said it ten times and I'll say it again-we have the fruit to eat, and you'll never get to eat the meat in the first place if you hunters just mosey around as recklessly as you have been."

"But we need it." Ralph unnecessarily tore at some young ferns in an unknown frustration. He couldn't think of a reason as to why the hunters being so hellbent on a necessary resource was angering him so much.

"I know that! But we won't be here for much longer, I'm sure of it," he replied, his tone wavering a bit at the end at the reminder of home-and home meant fire. He'd almost forgotten about it in this whole mess, he'd almost forgotten about his top priority. That worried him greatly, but he tried to shake it off and focus. Before he came to a sudden thought: if the hunters were hunting, then who would be tending to the fire?

"Are Samneric looking after the fire?" he blurted, grazing his nails over some of the plants worriedly.

"Uh… yeah," Roger mumbled uneasily, and the fair boy heard him take a step back behind him. "Yeah… we wouldn't leave the fire… unattended." The uncertainness in his tone told him that the answer was no. He curled his fingers so tight around handfuls of grass in frustration that his knuckles turned white, but he managed to keep a controlled tone.

"If it isn't, then go tell them to guard it right now. Get someone to guard it. Because if no one's there no one will see us."

"I don't think that Jack-"

"We have to get home. Please go tell them."

There was a brief awkward shuffling behind him and the crunching of leaves and foliage, and Ralph stilled in wait of his answer.

"Okay, chief," he mumbled, strangely genuinely, and the fair boy was relieved finally to hear the shuffling of leaves behind him. He allowed the grass he gripped some respite from his grasp, although now it was mangled. That couldn't be helped.

Annoyed and somewhat mystified by the encounter-the latter more due to the way Roger had acted towards him, although that was probably just because he was the chief, after all-he resumed his work of proceeding deeper yet into the jungle.

It was a while after of covering more ground that he began to become nervous. He had explored a good part of it so long ago with Jack and Simon, but these sections were unfamiliar to him. The trees were thicker, but not impassable by any means, and the canopy still allowed snippets of the sky to peek through. White and pale yellow flowers grew among dark leaves, a certain rose-like type that he had not seen thus far, even with his occasional exploratory ventures. Ivy and moss grew thicker on the bark, and the grass was more untouched by the harshness of the sun here, making it much more comfortable to walk on rather than the dried blades that fringed the beaches.

This is stupid, he suddenly thought, staring at the darkening sky. Why would he even come this far?

He reminded himself that he would need to go back as fast as possible and make sure that the fire was alight again, or else they'd just be stuck here until they died. The thought frightened him. Then again, the thought of losing someone also frightened him.

Then he remembered the beast again. He had been so foolish to head out here, so deep into the forest that no one would ever even find him, all alone, when he knew that there was probably a threat that could easily snap his throat-or worse-with ease. He had put himself at the very risk he believed his friend to be in. And the thought of something else-what if the beast had gotten to Simon before him, and he was simply too late? He shivered simply at the idea of someone he knew suddenly falling dead. It was almost incomprehensible. Of course, like everyone else, he had thought of the prospect of death before; it was inevitable that people died. But now, the idea of death, for someone to no longer exist… it seemed more real and terrifying than it ever had before, a terror which was furthered by the fact that it was a concept that surrounded one of his best friends at the moment.

He was frozen in the middle of the darkening forest as he contemplated if he should turn back and make sure that things were still stable, or if he should continue forward to confirm that his terror was unnecessary. He wished that this situation had never even happened in the first place. All he wanted was to go home and forget about all of this.

In a split decision, he decided to continue forward. He didn't feel particularly hungry, nor was he ready to deal with more of Jack's ridiculement. And he wanted more to know that no one had died under his leadership. What sort of leader would he be then?

He was not very much aware of where he was going as he descended a slope and continued into what may have been one of the deepest parts, where the white flowers grew in more abundance, since he was doing everything he could to ignore the pressing issue of the time. He didn't want to be alone in the darkness while he had absolutely no idea where he was-that just sounded like an absolute nightmare. So instead, he only told himself something to believe in-You'll find him soon, soon, not too much longer. It will all be alright.

After trudging unbearably through the mats of creepers and intertwined foliage, he finally seemed to come to a place of noteworthiness. He had thrown himself off track with following where the white flowers grew, but only because he had assumed they held little importance to the task at hand. Instead, this place gave off more of a vibe that he was on the right track-there were tiny blue flowers here that grew in abundant clusters, intermixed with tropical leaves and shrubbery. The disturbed mats on the other side of the small clearing gave him hope that someone was here, and not too long ago; maybe, if he was lucky, they had only left a couple seconds prior to his arrival.

Hurriedly, he dashed across the clearing in desperation to see if someone was there. But when he looked through the mats and onto the other side-nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He ran a hand through his shock of gold to try and conceal some further frustration. What kind of game was this? A sick one? He felt like he was being messed with and he didn't know what he had done to deserve this. He just wanted to assure himself that everything was alright. Yet he had to be stuck here, chasing after someone he barely knew the location of, and all because he thought he had said some things he thought were the wrong thing to say at the time, and...

But of course, Simon had to wander off into the forest again like the bat he is, he internally growled, nearly cursing at himself for using the mocking name that had been attached to his friend. To vent his anger, he scratched at some loosening bark on the tree next to him, taking notice of the unfavorable condition of his nails. He would have to fix that when he got home.

In the midst of his venting, he nearly excused the sound of moving foliage behind him as another ambient sound, before he heard a voice call out to him.

"Ralph?"

He whipped his head around to face the other person, unawares to the fact that he must have looked a little crazed at this point in his search. At least it did not turn out fruitless, after all this. He recognized the tone of skin and the coarse black hair almost immediately, but could not bring himself to move. He felt like he needed to make sure it was really his friend, and not just another dead end.

"Sorry I wandered off. If I worried you, I didn't mean it. I'll help you more tomorrow…" the other boy murmured, averting his gaze to the ground when Ralph still gave no reply due to his own shock. "Sorry," he added in a mumble, still uncertain.

Ralph removed his hand from the tree to face him fully. "Simon, I have been looking everywhere for you," he said, in a mix of both his former frustration and relief, although his expression was still blank.

"O-oh," he stuttered in a bit of a startle, "I'm sorry. I must have upset you with what I said, didn't I?"

"Where did you go? I was going to call the meeting but then, I thought that maybe…" The fair boy trailed off, suddenly reminded to the fact that Simon did not believe in the beast like him. At the near mention of it though, the other boy's mysterious grin returned, and Ralph was glad to see that some things were still the same in spite of this whole thing.

"Please don't follow me next time. But that's all right, you've got nothing to worry about with me," he assured him. "I'll always come back."

With those last words, the smile seemed more forced, once again putting Ralph at unease despite him still being relieved to find his friend after searching for so long. He tried to play it off as his friend just trying to reassure him, but he couldn't help but feel the return of the fear that he had felt from the night prior…

"I won't," he replied, although he was unsure if he would completely follow up on that promise later. "But you didn't upset me… earlier. I'm sorry if I said something wrong."

"Something wrong?" Simon chuckled, the friendly smile still in place. "I don't think you've said anything wrong at all. I told you before, right? Don't pay any mind to what I said last night."

Ralph still remained unconvinced, but he felt like his time to ask questions was running out as fast as the daylight. "But what did you mean?"

He received an answer very similar to the last one. "Don't worry. We have more important things to do. So we should get back before it gets dark." He paused and the grin became more genuine. "Before something gets us."

"I guess you're right," the fair boy replied, finally smiling at this point. The joke didn't really land with him, due to his fear… but it was lighthearted, at least.

As they began to make their way back towards the beach, the seemingly last truly safe place that Ralph could think of, most of the trip was spent in silence, and whether that was from Ralph's uneasiness at the whole situation or something entirely different, he couldn't tell. But somewhere into it, Simon turned to him, the gentle smile that Ralph had become used to seeing from him still in place.

"Thank you for being my friend, Ralph," he said. The slight tone of sadness in his voice confused him as much as his words did.

"You're welcome, but we're still friends, aren't we?" the fair boy replied, suddenly fearing whether or not Simon actually would stop talking to him after this whole situation. He didn't want that at all. Piggy was always a good friend, he could recognize that; but without Simon, he would have no one to build the shelters with, or work with, or talk to in his spare time…

"Of course we are," Simon smiled, and Ralph flinched at the sensation of skin against his at first, mistaking it to be some sort of animal-but he was even more surprised to find Simon's fingers brushing against his. "I just wanted you to know that… no matter what happens, we will still be friends. I think that you are a nice person. I mean, I might not have looked for me, if I got lost," he added, the ending more playful than the rest.

"Do you have something in mind that will happen?"

"Nothing in particular. I just don't want you to worry." Simon's hand retreated as soon as Ralph had begun to respond to his motions, trying to hold his hand in some way; but it seemed that he was rejected. "Let's keep going, then. That's all I wanted to tell you."

Ralph nodded, but at the end of this long day, he was still confused about everything. He didn't understand why Simon would deny everything he said last night when he seemed so panicked, he didn't understand why Jack seemed so obsessed with the friendship between himself and Simon; it seemed that he couldn't understand anyone today. At least Piggy could be predictable in his behavior, and there was a sense of order to it… but whatever was happening with everyone else, it just seemed like one big mystery he was incapable of solving, and not even one of his closest friends would tell him the answer.

Maybe he wasn't allowed to know for his wellbeing, though.

Alright, well, finally got this done. It's been a while since I posted a new chapter, but this might be around how much time it takes at the moment due to school and finals coming up, and all that... But don't worry, this story isn't dead, it just takes me a while to write these things.

Hope you enjoyed though, and as always, any feedback is welcome.