I don't own anyone except for my OCs.
The scene takes place at the Smith household as we see Hayley, Jeff, and Mary playing with toys.
"Mommy, does Barbie like makeup?" Mary asked.
"I'm sure she does sweetie" Hayley said.
"Yes I do" Jeff said in a girly voice as he holds up a doll.
(Cell phone dings)
"Hang on" Jeff said as he picks up his phone.
"Oh babe, look at this! My father said that he's hosting a special dinner party with him and his friends and he's inviting the both of us!" Jeff said.
"Jeff, that's great!" Hayley cheered. "When is it?"
"In two days" Jeff answered.
"Oh, is it a boring party?" Mary asked.
"It's okay sweetheart. It's a party for grownups. You'll stay here and play and eat pizza with Roger" Hayley said.
"Hey, you kids are going somewhere?" Francine asked.
"Yes Mrs. S, I'm going to a party my dad is hosting" Jeff answered.
"Oh really, Stan and I are going to a party also. When is it?" Francine asked.
"Here" Jeff shows her the message.
(CRASH)
"What was that?!" Jeff shouted as he, Hayley, and Mary went downstairs. They saw Roger…injuring his left leg.
"My leg! Oh my God! My motherf***ing leg! My g***forsaken motherf***ing leg!" Roger shouted as Hayley covered Mary's ears.
"Roger, are you alright?!" Francine arrived as she and Stan went downstairs.
"Guys, I can't walk! My leg is broken!" Roger complained.
"Oh great! I guess we can't go to your dad's party Jeff. I'm so sorry" Hayley apologized. "Roger, I was hoping you would babysit Mary, but I guess we can stay home and take care of you."
"Hayley, it's fine. I can watch the kid" Roger said.
"No Roger, you need to go to the hospital immediately. I'm sorry, but I can't have you watch my granddaughter with a bad leg" Stan said.
"Grand Stan, you can babysit me while Mommy and Daddy are gone" Mary suggested.
"No can do sweetheart. Your grandmother and I are attending a special CIA party in two days" Stan refused.
"Great, who can watch me? I got it: uncle Steve and aunt Zoey" Mary suggested.
"Yeah, about that…" Hayley commented as we see Steve and Zoey…vacationing at the Bahamas. Both of them are enjoying smoothies at the beach as Steve wears blue swim trunks and Zoey is clad in a black bikini.
"They wanted to spend some time together as a loving couple after defeating Lucy Sheridan to celebrate" Jeff explained.
"I have an idea. Maybe we can ask Mark or Adaline" Hayley suggested.
Later, she visits Mark's house.
"No can do Hayley. Adaline and I are going to Canada to visit her grandparents" Mark said.
"Oh great" Hayley said.
Meanwhile, she calls more people to watch Mary back at the Smith house.
"I'm deeply sorry Hayley. Meg and I need to take our daughter Gwen to the doctor. She has a checkup. Plus I need to visit my aunt Maggie the following day" Eddie Walker's voice was heard on Hayley's phone.
"Oh great!" Hayley sighed.
Later, she walks around in her bedroom in her purple pajamas.
"Let's see here: I don't have Stacy's phone number, Dylan and Axel are attending a video game convention, Cindy and her girlfriend are at Mexico, Matt went to New Orleans with his girlfriend and daughter, Steve and Zoey are vacationing at the Bahamas, I don't have a number from Matthew, Meg and Eddie are busy, no Mark or Adaline" Hayley said.
"Babe, I think I have another person we forgot" Jeff suggested as he puts Mary to bed.
"Who? Vince Chung?" Hayley asked.
"Actually, I sort of took a risk" Jeff said.
"Is it Deputy Watson?! I thought he's a goner" Hayley wondered.
"It's not him" Jeff answered. "I'll tell you who in the morning" he goes to bed.
The next day, Roger comes home from the hospital in a wheelchair.
"Oh man, now I'll never get to leave the house with my costumes" Roger complained.
"Who is this person?" Hayley asked.
(Doorbell rings)
Hayley opens the door and it was…Natalie Clarkson.
"Oh hi Natalie!" Hayley smiles as she hugs her.
"Hi Hayley" Natalie said as she hugs her back.
"Oh my God, Zoey is back and she left Steve! I knew he's a stupid nerd! You owe me $100 Ms. Wilson!" Roger cackles.
"Roger, this is not Zoey. It's her cousin Natalie! She agrees to babysit Mary while Jeff and I go to his dad's party" Hayley said.
"Who is he?" Natalie asked.
"Don't mind him. He's just a friend of the family" Hayley said.
"Makes sense" Natalie smiled as she enters the house.
"Hi…Zoey?" Mary questioned as she saw Natalie.
"(Laughs) I'm Natalie Clarkson, Zoey's cousin" Natalie answered as she picks up the baby.
"Thanks girl for watching our little Mary. We'll be back in two days sweetheart. Bye!" Jeff said as he and Hayley waved bye and left.
"Uh, Ms. Clarkson, can we play with dolls?" Mary asked.
"You betcha!" Natalie cheered as the two started playing. Roger looks at them with a frowning look.
"Oh come on! That was supposed to be our special thing!" the alien complained.
"Uncle Roger, you need to rest your leg. Ms. Clarkson and I will be fine" Mary said.
"(Giggles) call me Natalie please sweetie" Natalie smiles as she continues playing with Mary.
"Oh great! A bimbo is trying to steal Mary away from me!" Roger thought to himself. "Oh well, gonna get my whisky now."
Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff arrived at the other side of Virginia, where they arrived at Jeff's dad's house. They wait outside.
"Hi Jeff, it's so good to see you again" Henry smiled as he hugged his son.
"Hi Dad. Are we invited to the party?" Jeff asked as he and Hayley went inside.
"Wow, there are a lot of people here" Hayley commented as the couple sees a lot of people socializing, drinking, eating, and having a good time.
"I thought this was gonna be a simple dinner party" Jeff thought.
"At this house, there are no simple dinner parties. Instead, we get a wild and crazy one!" Henry laughs as the partygoers drank heavy amounts of tequila and shots.
"Jeff, I thought it was going to be peaceful!" Hayley crossed her arms.
"Babe, I'm sure it will be fun. We get to be wild and crazy animals for the first time since you gave birth to Mary as well as saving the world" Jeff explained.
"No thanks! Come on Jeff, let's get out of here" Hayley said as she was about to leave, but then…
"All you can eat cereal!" someone shouted.
"GIMME!" Hayley runs to the kitchen.
"Oh yeah, Dad, I forgot to tell you cereal is her all time favorite food" Jeff explained as Henry laughs.
Later, Mary arrives home as Roger opened the door for her.
"Hello, Ms. Fischer-Smith. How was your fun day with Natalia?" Roger asked.
"It's Natalie. We had lots of fun. We went shopping, played at the park, and she took us to Cheese E. Charlie's. Roger, are you okay? Is your leg better?" Mary asked.
"Oh I don't know. Maybe I ought to…" Roger stands up, but he's feeling much better.
"Hey, I'm all better! Now you don't get to spend time with that stupid blondie biotch anymore" Roger laughs.
"Roger, that's not nice" Mary looks sad.
"Why? Do you love her more than me?" the alien asked.
"I love you, but can't you be nice to other people for once?" Mary asked.
"You want nice? I'll give you nice" Roger said as he…gave Mary a nice bubble bath.
"Thanks uncle Roger" Mary giggles as she plays with the bubbles as Roger squeaks a rubber ducky.
Later, we see Hayley finishing her…10th bowl of cereal.
"This was…fabulous! Is there one cereal I've never tried?" she asked as she looks around and then sees one…Sugar Candy Crunch.
"Oh my God…it's Sugar Candy Crunch cereal! I thought this stuff was banned in America" Hayley thought.
"Welcome to the party. My friend brought it all the way from the Netherlands. I'm not sure why it was banned here, but go for it" someone commented as Hayley pours herself a big fat bowl.
"If this is good, I would give Mary some" Hayley said as she takes one spoonful of the cereal, but then…she gets crazy hallucinations that Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls got from eating the banned smile dip. She imagines sliding down a rainbow and climbing on top of a dog and going swimming in a pool of rainbow water as she smiles. However, we see Jeff and Henry looking at Hayley spinning on the floor.
"Babe, are you okay?" Jeff asked.
"Party all you like!" Hayley cheered as she continues to spin around.
"All right, I'm gonna smoke some weed!" Jeff cheered as he removed his shirt and ran.
The next day, Mary is seen playing dress-up with her dolls as someone approached.
"Hey Mary. It's me Zoey. I'm back from my vacation. I can take over from my stupid cousin. She can get the hell out of here!" Roger arrived, dressed as Zoey Wilson.
"Hi Zoey, where's uncle Steve?" Mary asked.
"Mary, it's not Zoey. It's Roger disguised as her" Natalie warned.
"Uh…he went to the bathroom?" Roger lied as Mary went upstairs.
"No he didn't" Mary said as she walked back down.
"Oh wait, I remember, he's at his friend Snot's house playing video games" Roger added.
"Which one is Snot?" Mary asked.
"Uh, the Asian one?" Roger answered in an asking tone, but Mary removes his wig.
"Uncle Roger, what's going on?" Mary asked.
"Yeah, and why exactly are you dressed like my cousin?" Natalie asked.
"Uh you see…you stay the f*** away from my Mary. She's Hayley's daughter and I'm an important figure to her life!" Roger shouted.
"Uncle Roger, she's not evil" Mary said.
"Roger, I'm an Ultimate Heroes. We love kids. She trusts me. I think it's best if you just stop this charade" Natalie suggested.
"I think that you should give me your pants, considering that you are dressed like Zoey and I can't tell who's who" Roger demanded.
"Or else what?" Natalie crossed her arms.
"Or else…(whacky noise)" Roger successfully pantsed Natalie, revealing her red panties. Natalie kicks him in the groin super hard as she pulls her pants up.
"Guys, knock it off!" Mary pleaded.
"Natalie killed teenage girls!" Roger shouted.
"Roger shipped your father to outer space!" Natalie argued.
"You bastard!" both Roger and Natalie screamed in unison as the two started fighting similar to the Family Guy chicken fight. They fight all around Langley Falls, as they punch each other back and forth. They were about to fall off a bridge, but then they suddenly stopped.
"Hold up a sec, are we like that fat man and that creepy chicken?" Roger asked.
"Ha ha, you're the fat man…HEY!" Natalie shouted.
"(Laughs) you should have seen the look on your stupid face" Roger cackled as Natalie…laughed too.
"Wait, why are we fighting?" Natalie asked.
"Honestly, I don't know. Oh okay, I just don't want you stealing Mary away from me. You treat her a lot nicer than I do. You got to play dress up, wear makeup, and do other fun and girly things while I just sit and watch her play" Roger confessed.
"Roger, I like Mary, but she's Hayley's daughter and you are her uncle. I can't take her away from you guys. I want to be her friend. Mary reminds me of myself when I was a little girl before my dad started hunting teenage girls thinking that they were witches" Natalie said as she tears up. "I've never got to live like a little girl at all. It's always witch hunting and fighting. I've never played with Barbies, played dress up, go to fun places like the mall or anywhere else, or even had pizza."
"Wait, you've never ate pizza?" Roger asked.
"Nope, it was always a strict diet to fight off witches" Natalie answered.
"Natalie, I'm so sorry. I know you like her and so do I. Great, I bet she hates us now. I guess we can go talk to her and apologize" Roger said. "I was worried about Mary trusting you and you revealing your true instincts. So, I guess we have to say sorry to Mary now. I hope she would forgive us."
"You think so?" Natalie questioned.
"Only one way to find out" Roger said as they went back home.
However, Mary was…playing with her dolls instead.
"Mary, Roger and I wanted to say…" Natalie was about to apologize, but Mary interrupts her.
"Hi guys! That was funny!" Mary smiled.
"Wait, you're not upset about what we said to each other and fighting?" Roger asked.
"Nope. Mommy and Daddy told me everything before. Plus aunt Zoey told me about you aunt Natalie. As long as you guys love me, I love you guys" Mary said.
"Wow! Oh my God, I've never thought that a little girl like you would be cool about it. Oh Mary, you're awesome!" Roger picks her up and he kisses her.
"You are so adorable! If I ever have a baby girl one day, I hope she acts like you" Natalie smiles.
"Can you both babysit me from now on? It's more fun" Mary suggested.
"Will do" Natalie and Roger said in unison.
Meanwhile, Jeff found someone with a bag of weed.
"Oh my God, weed! I thought I would never see you again!" he drools.
"Hey, that's my weed! Go get high somewhere else!" someone snaps at him.
"No!" Jeff shouted.
"Or else" the person threatened.
"Or else…feel the wrath of Toxic Touch" Jeff threatened back as he left hand turns green.
"Oh crap, you're an Ultimate Hero? Why didn't you say so? Go for it man!" the person lets Jeff smoke some weed and he also gets hallucinations as well.
"Oh my God, I see everyone here! Hi friends!" we see Jeff "hugging" hallucinations of the Ultimate Heroes, but really, he's hugging…a tree that attached a pinata that kids are playing.
"Hey look, a weird and smelling man! Let's get him!" the kids shouted as they hit Jeff with the stick.
"Hey, my body is not made of candy! Or am I?" he asked as he falls asleep.
Meanwhile, Hayley wakes up from her sugar rush.
"Huh? Where the hell am I?" she asked as she got up while adjusting the strap of her tank top back to normal.
"Ugh, I can't believe I got a sugar hangover" Hayley commented as she slowly walked. She sees Jeff…going back and forth as he hugs himself.
"Babe, I did it again" Jeff said.
"What did you do Jeff?" Hayley questioned.
"I relived the days before we had our little Mary" Jeff answered as he smoked a blunt, but Hayley takes it. She looked resistant to the marijuana but stopped.
"Yeah, let's…oh screw it. We'll probably not have fun like this in like forever" Hayley commented as she smoked a bit and they danced around similar to Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley cooper in Silver Linings Playbook.
"Shall we dance, milady?" Jeff offered like a gentleman as Hayley blushed.
"Why are you red? We're married" he laughed.
"I know" she giggled as they danced. However, moments later, we see Hayley and Jeff jumping like angels on a fun moonbounce, but in reality, we see the party guests watching Hayley and Jeff…jumping up and down on flowers.
"I dare you to upload this to YouTube" someone said.
"Done" the other person responded as he records it.
Later that night, Hayley is seen eating white bread. Jeff is seen…eating white bread as well. They are both shivering from their earlier actions.
"What the hell is wrong with us? We partied like we've never partied before. We're terrible parents" Hayley whimpered. "I'm officially about our little Mary. That's it. No more drugs or booze for either of us until we retire from Team Smith and the Ultimate Heroes."
"Babe, it's okay. I think the problem is that we never spend a lot of alone time together, aside from being Team Smith and the Ultimate Heroes. I guess we aren't used to having crazy times like we had before. It's okay. We're okay and that's all that matters" Jeff said.
"But what about that penis tattoo on the back of your head?" Hayley asked.
"Not too worry babe. I'll ask Matt to remove it or I can simply wear my hat forever" Jeff said.
"Not if I can help it" Hayley said as she takes out a black marker and draws on the back of Jeff's head.
"Problem solved" she smiles.
"Thanks babe" he kisses his wife. "But let's still ask Matt just to be safe."
"You got it" Hayley blinks.
Later on, Natalie, Roger, and Mary were watching TV until Hayley and Jeff arrived home from their party.
"Oh hi guys!" Hayley smiled.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Mary runs towards her parents as Jeff picks her up.
"Hi guys! I'm glad you're back" Roger said.
"Hey Roger, you can walk again" Jeff said.
"Thanks to my new friend Natalie" Roger said as Natalie pays Hayley.
"Oh no, we can't accept money from friends. It's fine. You should keep it. As long as Mary is okay, it's free" Hayley said.
"Oh okay. Well thanks for letting me spend time with Mary. I gotta go" Natalie said as she leaves. "Oh Mary, Roger, Hayley, Jeff, want to go to Fun World this weekend?"
"We love to!" Roger said as there was a photo montage of the five at the theme park. We see photos of them going on rides, eating cotton candy, taking silly photos, and everyone sleeping on the car ride home as Stan is driving them while the chorus of the song "Right Round" by Flo Rida plays.
Meanwhile, in a distance far from the Smith household, we see Steve and Zoey in their normal outfits looking outside on top of a grassy hill as Zoey puts her head on Steve's lap as they are resting on a tree.
"Should we tell them?" Zoey asked.
"We will have to eventually" Steve said as they took a nap.
"Oh dear, they took my picnic spot" Hans Moleman from The Simpsons appeared but he leaves sadly.
End of Chapter
There you go ladies and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed this season premiere, along with the prologue. Read and review and I will see you next time!