Light.
There was so much light.
Enya turned around, trying to get away from the sun that burned on her face. She stretched her legs and felt soft silk sheets caressing her bare skin. She felt well rested, like she just had the first good sleep in ages. She yawned and snuggled into the bed again.
'Where the fuck are we?' her mind requested.
Right, she always forgot her mind liked to ruin happy moments like this one.
No wait, not only happy ones. Just every moment in her life when she didn't need her pesky inner self commenting on her every move.
'I mean, I don't know where we are…' her mind went on. 'So I hope you do, En. Because for all we know, we're in an unknown bed, possibly with a weird guy and we might already have done SOME THINGS WE WILL REGRET FOR ALL ETERNITY!'
What?
Enya flinched.
Well, so much for her relaxed and happy mood. She'd probably find out where the heck she was, because her brain wouldn't stop chattering before she did.
'En, how are you doing?'
Someone pulled her from her reflections and touched her hair. He went on with stroking her forehead in a gentle manner.
Enya froze, unsure what to do.
'Honey, you've been sleeping for the past few days. You need to eat.' Jason whispered in her ear.
'WHAT?'
She got up faster than a speeding bullet.
Jason was sitting on her bed. A cup of tea and a plate filled with biscuits in his hands. Enya rubbed in her eyes. How did she end up in her own bed? She just went out for a run this morning, right? What was going on? Why was her cheating boyfriend in her bedroom?
'Relax babe.' He smiled. 'You've got some kind of flu. And a nasty one, too. You were lucky I happened to stop by a few days ago. You were acting crazy!'
'But I was…' Enya stammered. 'I've got to go…'
Jason put down the plate on her nightstand and pressed the mug in her hands.
'You've been raving about the strangest stuff the last few days, Ennie. I had no idea what you were talking about!' he told her. 'It appeared to me like your mind was living in some kind of a fantasy world…'
Tears clouded her eyesight. Enya felt confused, her brain suddenly awfully quiet. Although the last thing she DID remember was leaving the house for her usual running routine, a small part told her she hadn't been home for the last few months. Enya tried to recall WHERE exactly she had been then, but her memory was failing her. A numb pain was spreading through her body and drove out the positive aftermath of her sleep.
Enya exhaled slowly. Right. She apparently caught some kind of weird flu after finishing her workout, which knocked her out for days. Assuming this was right, it still didn't explain why she had the feeling she'd been living on the road for months. Why she had a feeling she should be somewhere else, instead of her own bed. Oh, and why she particularly remembered a pair of breathtaking blue eyes…
What exactly did happen? Before she could ask Jason why she didn't remember being sick, and more importantly, why his cheating ass was in her house, he started talking again.
'I'm glad you're awake again, love.' He said.
Enya nodded shortly.
'Why are you here, Jason?'
'God, En! What a question!' he groaned. 'I took care of you all this time and this is your way of showing your gratitude?'
'Well…' Enya studied her nails and noticed that they were unusually short. She liked to keep them longer. What did she do? Did she unconsciously start to bite her nails again? She frowned.
'The last thing I remember, we broke up. You cheated on me with Abbie again, Jay.'
'I would never.' Jason eyed her angrily. 'And I don't know why you would accuse me of such a terrible thing.'
Although Enya was confused about the whole situation, she did know one thing: Jason normally didn't communicate like this. And he had never taken care of her like this before. Jason wasn't sweet and caring. No exceptions. It almost felt like… She couldn't put her finger on in yet, but something was very off. Enya took a sip from her tea and her left hand reached for her hair, unintentionally in search of the comforting cold metal-
It was gone.
Enya cried out and in a reflex she jumped from her bed. The tea mug escaped from her hands and shattered into pieces on the floor.
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' Jason yelled as he tried to avoid the hot fluid that flew into his direction.
'WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY BEAD?' Enya shouted.
'Bead?' Jason shook his head. 'I didn't hear you talking about that, En. There are no beads here, I swear. Please stop screaming.'
'There was a BRAID in my hair!' Enya yelled. 'WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?!'
'Babe, I have no idea what you're talking about!' Jason told her.
'I want my bead…' her voice cracked from all the emotions that ran through her.
'En, I need you to calm down.' Jason urged. 'I don't want you to have another episode.'
'Episode?' she spluttered. 'First you tell me I'm ill. And now I'm also having episodes?'
'Yeah, ones in which you black-out completely and won't stop crying.' Jason declared. 'It's terrifying to watch, actually.'
She didn't want to cry, but it was impossible. Although her reason told her it was completely irrational to sob over the loss of a simple bead (and since when did she braid her hair anyway?) the tears already ran all over her face. She couldn't even remember what the bead looked like and why the hell she was so attached to it, but the thought she lost it broke her heart.
'Babe, relax.' Jason cooed as he pulled her shaking body into his embrace. 'You'll be fine. I'm here. I'll take care of you, okay?'
Enya sobbed.
'You'll be fine. I promise.' Jason coaxed. 'Why are you crying over a bead in your hair? I've never seen you wearing one.'
'I don't know.' Enya confessed softly.
She tried to wipe the tears from her face, but it was no use. They kept on falling. One after the other.
'Jay, I've got a feeling I forgot something very important…' she whispered. 'And I cannot tell what it is…'
'Your mind is still confused from being in the dream world so long.' Jason told her in a confident manner. 'You'll feel better in no time boo, I promise you.'
He held her in his arms and stroked her back until the sobbing stopped and Enya's breathing became normal again.
'Why are you suddenly so caring?' Enya breathed in his ear.
'Because I lost you, Ennie.' He replied. 'And I'm not prepared losing you again. We belong together. You and me. The lumberjack and his little cutie-pie…'
Enya smiled vaguely. His words were sweet and she was tempted to believe him, but something inside of her held her back.
Little cutie-pie…
Heck no. She was too fierce to be called cute.
'Let's get you cleaned up.' Jason encouraged.
He put her on her feet again and smacked her ass.
'I bet a hot shower with even hotter company will make you feel all better again, eh love?'
Enya wanted to make a remark on him smacking her ass, but she got distracted by one word he used.
Company…
Again, Enya knew it was important to her, but she couldn't tell why. The word told her something crucial, something she needed herself to remember, but her mind was still blurred. It was like grasping fog… she reached it, but then it was gone.
'Thanks Jay.' She said while creating some distance between them. 'But can I postpone the hot company until after my shower?'
'Of course.' He answered. 'Let me get you a towel and some underwear.'
'No, I'll be fine.' Enya reassured him. 'You don't have to do everything for me, Jay. You've done enough.'
'Oh come on, please let me pick your underwear.' Jason pressed. 'After all that fussing over you, I want some fun.'
Enya eyed him for a moment, wondering what she should do. She didn't want him to pick her underwear. Of course she didn't. If he thought that some sweet words or caring actions would make her take him back, he was mistaking.
'I think you can manage a little while longer without fun.' She finally responded.
Jason leaned forward, ready to kiss her.
'Alright miss independent, you choose. But it has to be sexy. I see you downstairs.'
'Yeah' Enya said and she tried to dodge his kiss, but he was quicker than she was.
Luckily, it was just a shallow one.
Jason smiled and then turned to make his way to the stairs. Enya listened as the sound of his heavy footsteps faded. With the back of her hand she wiped the taste of his lips off hers. Ugh! It didn't feel right to kiss him.
That feeling surprised her a little bit, because normally she would've been over the moon with Jason's presence. Even after everything he had done to her. That "old" Enya (before this assumed flu) had been heartbroken by his betrayal again, but also would've been desperate enough to take Jason back. She knew she would. She'd probably would have felt proud about that too, thinking that in the end he chose her. Enya slowly shook her head. She couldn't tell why she felt different today. Why the fact that Jason cheated on her with Abbie wasn't bothering her as much as it should any more. Actually, she wanted him to direct his attention to other girls. She wanted him to be gone, and never have to deal with him again. His kiss wasn't right. He lacked passion. He didn't possess those blue eyes she couldn't stop thinking about…
What did this so-called sickness do to her?
Enya turned around and opened her closet. Right. Back to business. Towel. Underwear. Enya shrugged when her hands automatically picked out one of her favorite corsets. She wanted to wear it, but she knew Jason had nothing to do with that urge… Oh well. Maybe she just wanted to get pretty for herself. Enya smiled and she grabbed her favorite clothing before she made her way into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and just wanted to undress when she saw her own reflection in the mirror.
'Who is that?' she whispered.
The mirror image looked back, the expression on the girls' face intrigued.
'Is that me?' Enya gasped. 'Really?'
She carefully touched her face. The reflection did the same. Damn, she looked really… hot! Due to that sickness she lost a fair amount of weight, making her cheekbones more pronounced and her stomach… flat. Her complexion was smooth and spotless and felt like she just came home from the spa after a detox treatment. Enya purred as she slowly turned around before the mirror. God! Her bum was rounder and cute and… Had she been squatting in her bed during those episodes? No, she couldn't possibly do such a thing without remembering it. Enya bit her lip when she noticed that only her bum, but her whole body looked more fit than usual. Seriously, what was going on? What was Jason not telling her? Losing some weight during an illness was normal, but how on earth did her body get that healthy? Enya shrugged and turned on the shower. Her clothes landed on the floor. She smiled. She shouldn't complain about the fact she suddenly had a flat stomach, because it made her belly button piercing even more pretty…
'I like this piece of jewelry…' A low baritone voice told her.
Enya looked around, trying to find the person that spoke to her. But there was no one there.
'What?' she said.
No answer. Enya shrugged. Maybe this was the last phase of her flu. Hearing voices other than her own… But yet the voice had sounded so familiar, so loving. She wanted to hear it again… She stood still for a while, waiting for the voice to return. But when it didn't and all she could hear was the sound of the running shower, she stepped inside. Her body relaxed when she felt drops of warm water rolling over her skin. Enya closed her eyes and tried to enjoy her shower rather than panicking over the fact that she had no idea what just happened. She slowly started to wash her hair, massaging her scalp by making rhythmic circular movements. She really needed to calm down and set her priorities straight.
'Tell me your pleasure is mine.' The voice whispered to her.
Enya suppressed a quiver. Her body suddenly felt needy, like it remembered something her mind didn't.
'Why would I do such a thing?' Enya demanded, ignoring her yearning thighs.
She growled in frustration when the voice didn't reply to her. What was she supposed to do?
What was he trying to tell her? She closed her eyes and lowered her head to let the stream of water wash out the soap that she put in her hair. What was going on? Why did he sound so familiar?
'I… I believe I love you, miss Blueheart' the voice whispered against her skin. 'And when this is all over… Will you marry me and be my queen?'
'There is nothing in this world that I would want more.' Enya blurted out.
She didn't know why she said that, but she did know it felt astonishingly right to do so.
'Will you allow me to make you mine?' he asked softly as his hot breath caressed her naked skin.
'Please do.' Enya breathed.
She could practically feel his hands all over her and his hot kisses in her neck. Suddenly her bathroom was gone. She was stuck between the damp prison wall and the hot body that belonged to the voice. His hands trailed down, finding the sensitive spot between her thighs and slowly massaging it, making her tremble with delight in his arms. Oh gods yes, she wanted this. She wanted him more than anything in the world.
'Oh Thorin, yes.' She whimpered.
THORIN?
Enya's eyes flung open and she put her hands on her mouth before she could cry out his name again. Her body was shivering, clearly frustrated from the sudden interruption of her sexual fantasy.
But this wasn't exactly a fantasy, was it? She had been there, he had touched her exactly like that.
Thorin.
Oh god. The memories started to flood back into her mind. How they met, when she accused him of being part of a big larping event. The way he tied her up in her corset the first time. How they quarreled when she found out he didn't want her to join the company. His remark "I've never seen you speechless before" when he caught her from that stoned trolls' grasp. Enya smiled. How could she ever forget his anger management issues, particularly that day when Fíli and Kíli stole her clothes and she went after them? He didn't object her reverted striptease in Rivendell though… She giggled as she remembered them arguing about her bitchfight with Dolvira… Thorin pushing her against a tree and kissing her with an unsaturable hunger. She blushed when she recalled the rest of the evening, when he decided to, in his words "tried to calm her down" by getting down on her. Good gods, in that department that dwarf really knew what he was doing. Enya bit her lip when her thighs twitched in anticipation.
There were so many memories! She giggled again when she remembered how they flirted in Beorn's house, how he defended her against Thranduil. His cute confession, when he finally had the guts to tell her in words how he felt about her. Oh, and how frustrated he had been afterwards when Bilbo disturbed their little rendezvous in their shared cell. How he laid a possessive arm around her waist, to show Jason she was off limits. Enya's smile disappeared.
How Jason forced her to come back with him to earth.
Gods. She sat down as the water trickled over her body. How could she not have seen this earlier? She had all the pieces of the puzzle, but yet she was too blind to put them together.
How could she not have seen that Thorin was as much in love with her as she was with him? Seriously. How could she have doubted his feelings for her? Enya frowned. This wasn't just lust, like Dolvira tried to let her believe. This was love. A fierce one, like he admitted to her in the elven kingdom in Mirkwood. Enya winced when she realized the obvious truth.
He was her one.
And he was in another dimension. Another world. Separated from her. And to make matters worse, she had search someone who had the rare skill of making portals, so she could find her way back to him.
Well, fuck.
'And did I tell you how much you screwed up his respect for you when you managed to ask him to get together with Dolvira again?' her mind remarked.
'So you're finally back, eh?' Enya whispered angrily, not wanting her mind to put salt into her open wounds.
But her mind was right. She completely messed up. What was she thinking? How could she ask him to love Dolvira again?
Honestly, when she looked back, how much of that story was true? She couldn't believe Thorin would just promise the redhead something and started to court another woman after that. This wasn't like him. It absolutely didn't suit his character. He was too honorable for that. But did that mean that the warrior woman made the whole story up? Just to scare her away? Enya wiped away a tear that welled up from her eyes. It felt so right to leave these two behind, but now… she wasn't so sure any more about that decision. What had she done? How could she ever face Thorin again?
'Don't wind yourself up in self-pity, Blueheart.' Her mind scoffed. 'Go make it right.'
Enya closed her eyes. Yes, she screwed up. She had to talk to Thorin. But right now, her priority was to find her bead and make her way back to him.
'How was your shower, hun?' Jason asked as Enya walked down the stairs.
He was watching sports on her television and didn't bother to turn around to watch how she really was doing. Normally she would've been offended, but today she was grateful for his big amount of disinterest. She had to find her bead first and she didn't need him walking around the house, asking what she was doing.
'Splendid, thank you.' She replied.
'Good.' Jason commented, his attention already directed to the sports program again.
'I'm going to put the trash out.' Enya told him.
'Yeah.' He said.
Enya disappeared through the back door and walked around her house. Jason wasn't the brightest soul on the planet… So where would he hide stuff he needed to get rid of? She didn't believe he actually was stupid enough to put the evidence of her being in middle earth in the trash bin, so he must have found another way to hide her bead.
And clothes. And traveling bag!
Enya pressed her lips together. Right. She just had to think like Jason. What would he do? He surely wouldn't try to…
Oh no.
She ran as fast as she could into the direction of the firepit. If he melted down her bead, that son of a bitch would have to pay for it. With her hands, Enya went through the ashes. It didn't take long for her fingers to become as pitch-black as the charcoal the firepit contained. But she didn't find her bead.
'No! No, no, no, NO!' she shouted.
Okay. Breathe, she told herself. Keep on breathing. She lowered herself on her knees and stared into the pit. She went through it again, thoroughly this time. It had to be there. She gasped when her fingers detected a heavy, small, rounded object. She carefully lifted it from the pit and inspected it.
Her bead.
A spark ignited inside of her. She knew it. Jason tried to deceive her. And oh, he was going to pay for what he had done.
'What the fuck is this, Jason?' Enya said as she plunged down on the pouf between him and his beloved television. She pointed at her bead, which she cleaned and hung on a silver necklace. It was safe. He had to kill her first to get his filthy hands on it again.
'En, you're in the way.' Jason complained. 'Seriously, I'd like to see this game.'
Enya gritted her teeth. 'I'm talking to you, you useless PRICK!'
'What?' Jason said.
'You took my bead and tried to burn it, along with everything that could remind me of middle earth!' Enya accused him.
'Yeah.' Jason replied. 'I did.'
'Why?' Enya asked.
'Because I want you for myself, En.' Jason told her in a matter-of-factly tone. 'I recognized that stupid Thorin Oakenshield in an instant. And the way you looked at him. He was the one you couldn't stop giggling about when reading that tedious book of yours, wasn't he? You tell me I'm cheating on you, but you were cheating on me all this time… with him. In your head, whilst reading.'
'I think fantasies are a bit different than the real deal.' Enya hissed.
Jason smirked.
'It doesn't matter anymore En. We're even. And you're mine. You know that. You've always been mine.' he stretched his back before he continued. 'So I just had to make sure you wouldn't be reminded about the living version of him again.'
'By burning my STUFF?' Enya blazed.
Jason shrugged. 'I still think it was a pretty good idea.'
'That proves again how STUPID you are.' Enya bickered. 'I'm not YOURS. I thought I was clear when I caught you and Abbie in bed. And I was VERY clear when you harassed me in middle earth!'
Jason laughed.
'Oh, Ennie.' He said and he stroked her leg. 'You and I both know that you'll change your mind after I give you the fuck you yearn for.'
'Don't you touch me.' She growled.
'Are you gonna put up a fight?' Jason said as he licked his lips. 'I like a challenge, Ennie. How long has it been?'
Her hands started to shake, but she didn't feel her fire yet.
'The ONLY person that I'll allow to give me the so-called "fuck I yearn for", would be Thorin.' She proclaimed. 'And NO ONE else is touching me without suffering the consequences.'
'Oh come on, En.' Jason purred. 'Does he know how to please you? The midget basically lives in the middle ages! I bet he doesn't even know how to find-'
Enya lashed out twice, smacking Jason hard on his cheek.
'Don't you dare to talk about my king like that!' she roared. 'Your skills are no match to him. I can confirm it myself: he bests you. Easily.'
'That's impossible.' Jason hissed.
Enya sighed.
'Tell me then, master of lovemaking. What is a G-spot?'
'That's a thing. In your body, En..' Jason said, uneasy with the direction in which this conversation was going. 'Listen I don't have to PROVE myself to you. I don't like the fact that you think it's okay to start lecturing me like I'm some kind of high school kid.'
'Good! It is indeed a thing in a woman's body.' Enya praised. 'That thing you cannot seem to find, Jay!'
She patted his head.
'Now. I'm done with you. We're over. I'm going to do some grocery shopping, and when I get back home, you'll be gone. You'll leave your key on the kitchen counter. Understood?'
'Bitch.' Jason growled. 'You asked for this!'
She avoided his grasping fists and slowly walked backwards to the door.
'Get out.' She declared. 'Get out, you son of a bitch! Don't make me hurt you.'
'Where's your magic now, En?' Jason mocked. 'Where's your beloved midget? He cannot protect you like I can.'
He stood up.
'But right now, I don't feel like protecting you anymore. I'm going to punish you for what you just said.'
Enya's hands twitched and stung as she tried to let her hand palms fill with her fire, but there was nothing more than a spark. It didn't work. She eyed Jason nervously. Why wasn't it working? Why did her flames leave her?
'Do you really want to face my fire?' she said in an attempt to install fear.
Damn, her voice cracked. Alright, breathe! Enya inhaled sharply and tried to remember the moves Dwalin taught her.
'If you're stupid enough to lose your weapon one day and you have to face the enemy with your bare hands…' he had explained. 'Try to hit for the sensitive spots.'
'Like what?' Enya had asked, which earned her a deadly look from the tough dwarf.
'You know.' He had growled. 'The vulnerable parts… if you're encountering a male, go for the balls.'
So that's what she did. When Jason lunged forward to take her down, Enya lifted her foot and kicked him as hard as she could.
'YOU BITCH!' Jason howled as he landed on the floor, his hands around his crotch.
Enya didn't wait for him to get up again, grabbed her backpack that hung on the coat rack and ran outside.
By the time Jason followed her outside, all he could do was scream at her car that disappeared from his view. In the car, Enya took a deep breath. She had to get out of here. There was no way she'd ever enter her house again.
'Mom!' Enya yelled as she entered her mothers' house.
She threw her heavy backpack on the couch. After she made a pitstop at Starbucks and her favorite hot chocolate with whipped cream and caramel calmed her down, she realized she needed to get some ladies stuff before returning to middle earth. So she picked up a few things… The lady at the cash register had eyed her suspiciously when Enya threw thirty boxes of tampons on the counter, and Enya had felt the need to explain herself ('I'm going to live in the wild for quite some time, you see'). Which was completely unnecessary, because she probably would never see the lady again for the rest of her life.
'Hello En.' Her mother shouted back. 'It's been a while since I've seen you! But the real question now is: what do I owe the pleasure of enjoying your presence again?'
Enya sighed. So, the tone of the conversation was set, and it wasn't going to be a friendly one. Couldn't her mother just be normal? Just once? She really needed a shoulder to cry on right now. Jason just tried to attack her and she was separated from the love of her life…
'Are my cute brothers and sisters home?' she asked casually.
'Nope.' Her mother replied as she walked around the corner. 'It's just you and me, En.'
'Wow.' Enya blurted out when she saw her mother again. 'You're such a dwarrowdam, mom! Unbelievable! How could I not have seen it?'
Her mother narrowed her eyes, but she didn't seem surprised.
She was short, just like Enya. Unusually short for a human. She had wavy golden locks and mesmerizing green eyes that would make a man do anything for her. She certainly was a female dwarf. No doubt.
'What did you say, En?'
'Your real name isn't Catherine, is it?' Enya challenged her.
She tilted her head. 'No, Enya. You're right.'
'Why didn't you tell me about my ancestry?' Enya demanded. 'Why, mother? What did I do to you? Why did you choose to withhold such a huge part of my life from me? Who am I?'
'Oh, my dear Enya... I hoped the dragon had given you enough to make you forget about that…' her mother muttered.
'The dragon?' Enya said. 'Mom, what is going on? Why did you lie to me?'
Enya's mother started pacing around the room.
'Do you have any idea how hard it is?' she began. 'Do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to be a dwarf, in a human world?'
'You could've told me.' Enya objected. 'I cannot believe-'
'No, I couldn't!' her mother interrupted. 'I couldn't possibly tell you who you were!'
'Why not? It's my right to know!'
'I suppose it is, you're right.' Enya's mother admitted. 'You've been to our homeland, haven't you? Have you met your kin?'
'I have met a couple of longbeards. And someone I love.' Enya whispered.
'And he loves you back, no doubt.' Her mother touched the bead in her neck. 'It's a beautiful courting bead. But why is it on a necklace? Why isn't it in your hair?'
Enya flinched. 'Jason came to get me and he forced me to come back here. I must have been unconscious when he took my bead and tried to burn it. He did a serious attempt to make me lose my memory of going to middle earth…'
'He isn't your one.' Her mother stated.
'No.' Enya sighed. 'The truth is… I found him with Abbie a few months ago. I broke up with him before I ended up in middle earth.'
'He cheated on you?! Again?!' her mother exclaimed.
She sat down on the couch and pulled Enya next to her.
''Honey, why didn't you tell me this earlier?'
Wow. Another tone. Maybe they weren't going to fight after all today.
'Let's be honest.' Enya told her. 'We don't get along very well, mom. I was afraid that you would judge me for it.'
'For telling him to get out when you discovered he was dishonoring you like that?'
Her mother's face was filled with horror.
'En… We might argue all the time, but you're still my daughter.'
'Then please tell me the truth about me.' Enya pleaded.
'Alright.' Enya's mother rubbed her eyes. 'Let me fill the gaps then.'
She took a deep breath.
'The story begins with your grandparents. My parents.'
'Emrak and Gigira.' Enya said. 'The elven king of Mirkwood told me about them. How grandma escaped the city of Nogrod and how grandpa was unable to follow her.'
'Yes. Gigi gave you his locket.' Her mother responded. 'When I was a child, I wanted it so badly. He was my father and I missed him so much…'
'At least you KNEW who your father was.'
'But Gigi couldn't part from it. And when she did, she gave it to you.' Her mother mumbled, ignoring Enya's remark. 'You immediately were as attached to it as I was. I secretly was glad that the youngest of the Blueheart family got our most precious family heirloom, even when she didn't know what it meant to us.'
'Mom. The story.' Enya pressed.
'What?' her mother smiled. 'Oh yes. The story.'
'When Gigira came to this world, with only a few nobles on her side, she was pregnant with me. They managed to survive and a few of them settled in Finland, where she got me. She called me Ailva.'
'Ailva? You lived in Finland?'
'Yes, darling. I speak Finnish fluently.' Ailva told her. 'I grew up there. Those early years in the woods were the happiest of my life. But to avoid suspicion, we had to move every twenty to thirty years.'
'Why?' Enya asked.
'We don't age as fast as humans do. Remember we can live up to 250 years, En. People would've eventually found out and killed us.'
'How old are you?' Enya asked.
Her mother smiled. 'I'm 173 years old.'
'And how old was Gigi?'
'She was 265 when she died.'
'Two hundred and sixty-five…' Enya repeated. 'That's insane.'
Ailva chuckled. 'Better believe it, hun. Tea?'
'Yes please.'
Enya followed her mother to the kitchen, and she sat on the counter while her mother boiled some water.
'Mom, Finnish… I cannot believe it. You actually speak Finnish?'
Ailva laughed.
'Why is that so hard to believe?'
'Because I always thought we were Americans…' Enya responded. 'When did you leave Finland?'
'When I was around thirty, I think. Thirty-three, or thirty-four…'
'THIRTY?'
Ailva touched Enya's cheek.
'The thirty's of a dwarf are like the teenager years for humans. You start to grow up, argue with your parents, start to fancy members of the other sex...'
'That's when I fell in love there you know, for the first time.' She continued. 'I met this boy in town and I told Gigi he was my amrâlimê. I knew I could never love anyone as fierce as I loved Matias.'
'But Gigi ruined it?' Enya guessed.
She didn't want to talk negatively about the dead, but her grandmother could be quite difficult. Although most of the time she had been such a sweetheart, but when you decided to do something Gigi didn't approve of… well you had gotten yourself into trouble. Gigi would stop at nothing to make things "right" again. Enya smiled. Grandma was a true fire beard princess… stubborn as hell and highly opinioned. As were her daughter and granddaughter. No wonder the relationships between the three of them were so strained …
'Yeah, your grandmother decided we should move.' Ailva replied. 'She told me I couldn't possibly fall in love with a human. She wanted to keep the bloodline pure, to make sure another fire witch would be born. Her husbands' legacy had to live on. No matter the costs.'
'And you stood up to her.'
'I did. Gigi and I quarreled, much like we do these days.' Ailva smiled. 'But in the end, Gigi acted quicker than I did and before I knew it, we were on our way to Europe. She told me not to worry, that I would love again.'
'Where did you go?' Enya asked.
'France. And after thirty years we moved to England. You were born in London.'
'LONDON?' Enya squealed. 'Mom, If you were only between sixty and seventy when you got me, HOW OLD AM I? WHY DON'T I REMEMBER?'
'Calm down.' Ailva commanded and Enya recognized her grandmothers' authoritarian tone.
'I was 84 when I got you.'
'But…' Enya blinked a few times.
'You just turned 89. You were born in the summer of 1928 in London.'
'But why did I believe, until recently, that I'm 24? MOM?'
'Let me first explain who your father is.' Ailva growled. 'After that we'll come to the part why you don't remember much of your life.'
Enya took a sip from her tea and frowned. Sure, she wanted to know her whole life who her father was, but she didn't expect her mother to come up with such a crazy story.
But hey, from the day she fell in middle earth, every day had been equally weird.
'We were living in London and Gigi was pushing me to choose one of the noblemen as my life partner.' Ailva mused.
'How many respectable noblemen did come with her to this world?' Enya wondered.
'Not many. I still hadn't forgot the cruel way she separated me from Matias and I told her there never would be another amrâlimê for me. So we made a deal.'
Ailva sighed.
'I would let one of the noblemen court me and I would give her the heir she so desperately wanted. After that, I could do whatever I wanted.' Her mother stated. 'I think she hoped I would find happiness in one of the noblemen's arms.'
'But you didn't.'
'No.' Ailva admitted. 'Your father was the son of a mighty dwarf lord. His name was Rudor. Although we liked each other, he knew I wasn't his one and I knew he never could be mine. Nevertheless, we married in the fall of 1927. After the wedding night I felt so guilty for giving myself to another instead of Matias… I ran away.'
'How romantic.' Enya declared. 'I always hoped I was born out of love…'
'We were practically strangers to each other.' Ailva confessed. 'You see, shortly after we came on earth, your grandmother decided that the group couldn't stick together. It was too dangerous. Rudor and his sisters traveled to Italy and lived there before meeting us in London again.'
'But you've could have tried, mom!' Enya told her.
She knew it wasn't fair for her to say something like that. Because what would she do, if someone told her she could never see Thorin again and she had to marry Jason instead. Enya swallowed hard. She actually would rather die than having to deal with that.
'I'm sorry.' She apologized when she saw Ailva's hurt expression. 'Did you try to find your amrâlimê?'
Her mother nodded. 'I didn't care that it took me a few weeks to travel to my hometown again. But when I got there, Matias and I weren't the same anymore. We changed. I had you growing inside of me and Matias was well in his forties. He clearly hadn't wait for me to come back and started a family for whom he had to provide. He instantly recognized my little baby bump and told me he couldn't take care of me. I was heartbroken, and on my own again.'
'What did you do?'
'I decided to go back to London. I had no choice. You were on the way and I needed someone to provide for me.' Her mother sighed. 'And when I came back… Gigi was mad with grief. She told me about the great flood that had scourged through London. Rudor had been out all day, trying to save the lives of the poor. Ironically, he died just a week after that from a cold he caught by being in the water so long. He saved so many lives that day, but a feisty flu took his…'
Enya didn't know what to say. She had fantasized so much about who her father was. Although her mother had told her he died long ago, she always had kept hope. She wanted to meet him someday. How much she resembled him, because she didn't look like her mother.
'I know it is a lot to take in.' her mother told her.
'Really?' Enya said sarcastically. 'And where is the part where you finally tell me WHY I cannot remember most of my life?'
'I did that for you.' Her mother objected. 'Every twenty years, we had to start all over. We had to say goodbye to our friends, our home… It had broken my heart a few times and I did want to spare you that. So Gigi and I took you to the dragon a few times, to erase and adjust your memory before we boarded the plane again. He ensured us you would be perfectly happy. You could lead a normal life, making friends, having a boyfriend. Get a job. I didn't want the fact that we're dwarves would EVER hold you back from doing the things you love.'
'But somehow I always have known I didn't belong.' Enya whispered. 'You have no idea how much I have hated myself for being different! For not fitting in, but never knowing why!'
'I'm sorry sweetheart.' Ailva apologized. 'I only did what I thought was right.'
'Is that why you hate me?' Enya asked slowly, trying to hide her trembling voice. 'Is the fact that I'm a dwarf the reason why you prefer my half-brother and sisters over me?'
'Don't be daft.' Ailva muttered. 'I don't prefer them over you. You're just more difficult than them, because you're dwarvish. They only have half the stubbornness you and I possess. You just couldn't stop searching for your father, and I wasn't going to tell you. I'd rather wanted you to hate me for it, because then at least you would be safe.'
'Safe?' Enya objected. 'You've lied to me for years! How did you pull it off? Really? Do they know? Did Phil know?'
'It's complicated.' Her mother responded. 'But they all, Phil and your brother and sisters Alicia, Brad and Kaitlynn… they don't know. Gigi and I were forced to take you all to the dragon once in a while.'
'Please tell me: who is this dragon you won't stop talking about?'
'A powerful sorcerer in our world.' Ailva explained. 'He's an expert in deceiving the mind.'
'I don't like that fact.' Enya hissed. 'You allowed him to meddle with our brains? Really? You could've skipped the lies and told us the truth instead.'
'Enya, how? How did you think that would work out?' her mother pleaded. 'I couldn't just go back on my decision! All those memories… It would be too painful for you to regain them again! And not just only for you… Think about your brother and sisters… Your stepfather…'
Enya scoffed. 'I'm sure these painful memories you talk of are better than living a lie…'
Ailva kept silent.
'You forced me to live with these false in my head.' Enya muttered, trying to hold in the anger that was resurfacing.
'I mean: I have recollections about playing with my siblings, but how could that ever be true? I'm 89… and they're in their twenties…'
'Enya…' Her mother stroked her cheek. 'All your childhood memories are true… they're just sometimes… a bit modernized and adjusted. In reality you watched your brother and sisters growing up, but your mind thinks it was you that grew up along with them. And they do too.'
Enya didn't know what to say anymore and stared at her feet.
Ailva pressed her lips together.
'Enya, I'm terribly sorry about this. Like I said: I did what any parent would do. I gave you your best shot.'
'You still want that?' Enya whispered.
'Of course I do, honey.' Her mother smiled. 'I love you, you know. I've loved you for 89 years.'
'I suggest you take me to the dragon then.' Enya said. 'Because I need to get to middle earth again.'
The dragon was a tiny, but impressive man. His eyes were, just like his hair, black as a ravens' feathers. He was wearing bright red Chinese robes with dragons embroidered on it. He watched Enya curiously as they came in. To her, he and his shop seemed all too familiar. The fragrance of spices and incense hung heavily in the air. The peculiar objects exhibited on the shelves along the wall… Although she couldn't consciously remember it, she knew she had been here many times before.
'The usual, Ail?' the dragon firstly inquired, but then hold up his hand before both women could speak.
'No, you don't want the usual. You daughter needs me. She wants me to open a portal to middle earth, isn't it? Strange.'
He paced around the room.
'Two portals in two days… that doesn't happen often.'
'Yes. My ex-boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to go on a "rescue a damsel who's having a good time" mission.' Enya told him. 'He dragged me into this world again, and I need to go back.'
Behind her, she heard her mother backing out the conversation. Ailva started walking around the room, feigning a large amount of interest in the dusty bookcase just next to the door. She was glad Ailva gave her some privacy.
'Why, my dear? Earth is safer than the world you just came from.'
'Because I belong in Middle Earth.' Enya said. 'I'm a fire witch from the fire beard clan and my kin needs me. I need to slay a dragon.'
The dragon smirked. 'Not me, I hope.'
Enya giggled. 'No. Unless you refuse me my portal.'
'I wouldn't dare to refuse the future queen of Erebor her right to be in her homeland.' He said as he bowed before her.
'But why did you allow Jason to bring me back?' Enya sighed.
'I read his mind and his intention seemed clear. He told me he loved you dearly.' The dragon said and he started pacing before her.
'But it seems he deceived me. When I sent him through, I discovered that he took one of my strongest memory potions. It must have slipped in his pockets when he waited for his portal.'
'So you just let him do that?' Enya blazed. 'You knew he would try to erase my memory! You decided to wait and do nothing?'
'I didn't know this was about you.' The dragon defended himself.
'But you can read minds.' Enya shot back. 'How could you NOT know this was about me?'
'You're smart, miss Enya.' He admitted. 'But even I do miss certain things sometimes. Besides, your powers are now stronger than any memory potion I possess. It cannot hold your true self back anymore.'
The dragon walked up to her and looked her in the eye.
'He hurt you.' He exclaimed.
Enya nodded. 'He harassed me today, yes.'
'And I unconsciously let him.' The dragon admitted. 'I apologize for that.'
'It's fine.' Enya responded. 'Although I would be relieved if you could do something for me.'
'Anything.'
'Can you please let Jason forget about me? I cannot risk him threatening the lives of my kin, again.'
The dragon said nothing but just nodded.
Suddenly she felt so tired. The loss and gain of her memory, the fight with Jason, the conversation with her mother… it was all too much. Her head was buzzing with questions… Was there any way to get her memory back? Did she want that anyway? Why did that portal open up to her all those months ago? Did she lose her powers on her way to earth?
'That portal was meant to be.' The dragon answered, in a manner like she just asked him that question aloud. 'I don't know how you conjured it, but you did. Not one portal looks the same and they don't appear on their own.'
'I was singing when it happened…' Enya muttered. 'Well, screaming actually.'
'What did you say?' the dragon inquired.
'It's so hard for me, seeing light at the end of the tunnel…' Enya answered him.
'There you go. Your heart knew where you should go. The magic in you did the rest..'
'You lost me there.' Enya confessed. 'My powers are derived from nature, like I'm some kind of modern avatar. But how can I summon a portal?'
He chuckled. 'Modern avatar. Good one, I should remind that one.'
Enya rolled her eyes.
'Who says nature doesn't have the power to open portals?' the dragon mused.
'You're even worse than Gandalf.' Enya groaned. 'Why speak in riddles when you can be clear about the things you mean?'
'Because the truth is never clear.' He smiled.
Enya sighed. 'Never mind.'
The dragon laughed.
'You're still young, my dear. You don't have to understand everything. Just experience your life. Live it to the full. Use your powers, but with care. In time, you'll understand what I told you.'
'But my powers…' Enya fretted. 'They don't work anymore.'
'Magic works differently in this world.' He replied. 'Your powers are still there. You're just in the dark how you should use them.'
Enya frowned.
'I'll make you a portal.' The dragon promised as he patted her shoulder. 'Now go say goodbye to your mother. I'll be ready in a few minutes.'
Her mother grabbed her into a tight hug.
'I love you.' She whispered. 'I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, Enya.'
'Mom.' Enya breathed.
'You're just like your father.' Ailva cried. 'You have his eyes, his hair. He was a kind and loving dwarf. I'm so sorry I couldn't love him like you wanted me to, but I do love you more than I can describe.'
Ailva touched the courting bead on Enya's necklace.
'Now go to Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thror. Be his queen. Go claim your birthright.'
'How do you…' Enya began.
'Gigi mentioned Thorin once. Your grandfather had told her about the quest for the lonely mountain. She said my unborn daughter, princess of the fire beards, would become its queen one day.' her mother replied. 'And on that day the longbeards and the fire beards will be united again…'
'But…' Enya whispered.
'Oh, there is so much I want to tell you, but there's no time…' her mother interrupted. 'Enya, your locket… Your locket can do powerful things. When it's in the right place, it can protect you, and your kin.'
'But that doesn't make sense!' Enya protested. 'What is the right place?'
'No time.' Ailva told her. 'You need to go. A portal cannot stay open for too long.'
She pushed her daughter away.
'Step inside.' The dragon ordered. 'You have to leave.'
Enya took a deep breath, but then turned around.
'Mom, I love you too.' she said. 'I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to.'
'I know.' Ailva responded as she watched her daughter disappear into the golden whirlwind in front of her.
'I know, my daughter.' She repeated.
The whirlwind was just starting to fade when the door of the shop burst open and a large muscular male walked inside.
'YOU LET HER GO?' Jason yelled behind Ailva. 'AFTER I DID ALL THIS TROUBLE?'
Ailva turned and she clenched her jaw.
'If that isn't Jason.' She growled. 'You hurt my daughter.'
'Is that what she told you?' he smirked. 'She was the one that was rude to me today and I intend to teach her a lesson.'
'Make me a portal, dragon guy.' He ordered.
The dragon folded his arms.
'I don't think so, young man. The lady explicitly said she didn't want you to follow her.'
'I don't care what she thinks.' Jason told them. 'I want her. So she's gonna be with me. Whether she likes it or not.'
Ailva's fist was fast. It landed on Jason's jaw and he howled in horror. With a quick whip from her legs he was on the ground. Ailva pinned him down.
'You will NEVER hurt her again.' She whispered. ''
'Let's give him what he deserves…' the dragon said as he handed Ailva a small flask with darkish brown potion in it.
'I'm not drinking that.' Jason whined. 'Please don't do that to me.'
'You should've thought about that when you hurt Enya over and over again.' Ailva told him. 'But back then, you didn't care about her OR her feelings, huh?'
'Please let me go.' Jason tried.
'No. This will give her the best shot she's got…' she hissed. 'You will be the last one to disturb her happiness… NOW DRINK UP!'