"Knock, knock," Lorna said with a breathy chuckle and a nervous smile.
Red looked in her eyes and then back down to the book in her hands. She had been reading the same page for the past hour, but as long as it made her look busy, she was content. She released a frustrated sigh when she realized the young pregnant woman wasn't going anywhere without discussing the elephant in the room.
"I know you're not talking to Nicky, but she wanted me to tell you that—"
She interrupted Lorna's nervous attempt to talk with a raised hand and a simple phrase.
"Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it," she said seriously, flipping the page as if she was immersed in the words themselves rather than the pain they were supposed to take away.
"Red, I know things between Nicky and you are….complicated at the moment, but if you just talk to her—"
Red had heard enough. Lorna had been wrapped around Nicky's finger for far too long, and now she was fighting her battles for her.
"I'm done talking Lorna. She's using again. Did she tell you that?" Red asked in anger, closing the book and tossing it down on the bed.
Lorna took a deep breath, placing a hand over her stomach and rubbing circles. When Red seemingly calmed down she took a seat next to her on the bed.
"She did. And we had a long talk and it ended with her handing me this,"
Lorna reached down into her bra and pulled out a ziplock bag filled with off-white powder.
"She hasn't used in a week, Red. She's doin' real good," Lorna added.
Red stared at the baggy in Lorna's hand, the substance that had caused so many rifts and fights, that had killed Tricia, and nearly killed Nicky more than once.
"How do you know she doesn't have extra stored away somewhere?" Red asked skeptically.
"Because I know. This is real Red. Now I know Nicky has lied in the past and she's let you down a couple times, but I really think that this time it's gonna stick," Lorna said with a smile.
"That's what we thought last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. How many chances can one person get?" She shook her head.
"You're right, she says she's done and then finds some excuse to go back, but this time it is different," Lorna said.
"How? How is it any different?" Red asked in disbelief.
"Because she never lost you before," Lorna replied simply.
Red stopped and suddenly everything got quiet. She nodded, and Lorna began to talk once more.
"You were there. To yell at her, to talk to her, to help her with the shaking and the throw-up, but now she has to be the one to yell at herself, she has to help herself. I know you're angry and you should be, but don't shut her out," Lorna said.
"Fine. Fine if she wants to talk so badly I'll talk, but she has to—" Red started but was interrupted.
"Oh thank god, it was gonna be pretty awkward if you said no," Nicky said, coming into view.
Red scoffed with a smirk, she should have known Nicky would be snooping.
"I'll just leave you two to talk," Lorna said with a smile.
"Oh..I almost forgot. I can't get caught with this,"
Lorna said, handing the baggy to Red.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" she asked, but Lorna was already out the door.
"Ehh, flush it, burn it, pour it outside. Although the outside thing could lead to junkies eating the grass and that would just not be pretty for anyone," Nicky suggested.
Red tucked it under her pillow. She would have to take it and dispose of it later.
"So, what's going on with your…situation?" Red asked.
"They won't move me out of gen pop. Not enough evidence that my life is in danger, and I can't exactly give them proof without exposing Ruby. If I expose Ruby, I'll be worse than dead," Nicky said.
"They didn't think that you getting beaten was enough evidence?" Red asked, horrified by the lack of care the system had for a woman who was obviously in danger.
"They considered it an 'isolated incident'" Nicky said shaking her head and chuckling in disbelief.
Red sat shell shocked that no one was going to help. In all honesty, she didn't get her hopes up too high, having been let down by the system so many times, but she thought for some reason they might have done something for Nicky.
Nicky broke the silence, sitting down next to Red and looking in her eyes.
"Ma' I know Lorna already said it, but I'm clean. I swear I'm done going down the same path over and over. ,"
"I know. I want to believe you, but it's going to take more than words to convince me. And if I so much as hear that you're using again, I'm done," Red said.
"I know," Nicky replied.
"So…do you have a plan?" She asked
Nicky stood back up and began pacing.
"No, not really. I have no idea what the fuck to do. I'm out of options," she said, on the verge of hysterics.
Red stood up and gently took her face in both hands. She moved a piece of the curly hair out of Nicky's face and looked in her eyes.
"There's always a way. Where's the fighter inside you, hmm? Don't give up so easily, She only wins if you let her win," she said.
Nicky sighed and nodded, calming down.
"When you said she wants to make an example of me, what did you mean?" Nicky asked.
"Her plan is to have you shivved in the yard. A public spectacle, a message to everyone else not to cross her,"
"Fuck!" Nicky yelled, falling back into hysterics.
Red tried to hush the girl as not to alert the guards.
"But, that won't happen if you're careful. Be smart. Avoid the yard the best you can, and stay near guards"
"How is that supposed to fucking help, she has guards under her payroll, how do I even know who to trust?" Nicky asked, her hands waving frantically around as she spoke.
"Avoid the ones you know work for her, as for the rest, you just have to take a chance,"
"Ma, this isn't going to solve anything. She won't stop until I'm dead,"
"No, she said she wouldn't stop until blood was spilled, not until you're dead," Red replied.
"If she fucking stabs me, my chances at survival are pretty fucking slim. I mean have you seen the medical staff here? The fucking nurse is still practicing giving needles to a goddamn orange and the doctor looks like he just graduated kindergarten,"
Red ignored Nicky's rant as thoughts began flooding her mind, scenarios playing out until finally, a lightbulb went off. She sat back down on the bunk trying to piece it together.
"I think I have a plan," Red offered.
"Well…spit it out! What is it?"
"The less you know, the better. Just listen to me when I tell you what to do and you'll be fine. You should go before the guards see you in here," Red said.
"Ok. I trust you, you know I do, but please just try and think of something that won't get me killed,"
"You'll be fine. I swear you will," Red said seriously.
"I'll go. I better go talk to Lorna," she said walking away
"Oh, and Nicky," Red said, calling for her to turn around.
The minute their eyes met, Red spoke again.
"Be careful," she said sincerely.
Nicky smiled lightly and nodded, but the concern was still there in her eyes, still so obviously consuming every thought.
After Nicky had gone, Red took her book out and flipped to the back, where a few blank or mostly blank pages were. She ripped out the pages and began to write on them.
"You want blood, you'll get it," she whispered to herself.
After the pages were covered in writing, she folded them neatly and placed them under her pillow. Her fingers grazed upon the plastic bag and she almost gasped, remembering the drugs were there. She picked them up and tucked them into her bra, mentally adding another step to her plan.