"How much longer am I gonna have to do this?"

Nicky said, her pace increasing to keep up with Reds.

As soon as Red neared her bunk, she stopped quickly and turned to face her daughter.

"How many fake injuries or illnesses can I have? I mean the guards and medical staff aren't exactly America's best and brightest, but even they have to know I'm full of shit," Nicky continued.

"Don't worry about it. I've gotten word that Ruby knows you have to be in the yard today. They'll be waiting, but we'll be ready," Red replied calmly.

"Yeah about that. You say you have a plan, but you still haven't actually told me what it is. Forgive me for losing faith in a plan that you refuse to tell me anything about, but the closer we get to me getting stabbed the more I want to freak the fuck out,"

Red looked around and then once she saw no one was paying attention to them, she led Nicky into her bunk, away from anyone who might overhear.

"The plan is that I will plant the bag of drugs in Ruby's henchman's pocket and cause a disruption before anyone gets close to you. The guard keeping watch will be notified that she is carrying drugs and she'll be sent away,"

"That's your brilliant plan? Well, …what happens when she gets put back in gen pop? What happens if Ruby decides to just send another one of her girls after me?"

"This is a battle. We will win this, but we must continue our way through the war," Red said.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Nicky shot back.

"It means that you will survive today, but in order for you to keep surviving…we're going to need to do something drastic,"

"Such as?"

"Such as…taking down Ruby's operation," Red said, anticipating a less than happy response from Nicky.

"Okay…okay now I know you've fucking lost it! Ma, you cannot just take down someone like her…it's not that simple," Nicky yelled.

Red hushed her and continued to try and help her see reason.

"You're right…it is not simple at all, but it is possible. She has built her operation on a weak foundation, relying upon others to keep herself in power. What she has now is a delicate balancing act, knock one thing out of place and everything will come crashing down,"

Nicky huffed but didn't reply. She was piecing it all together in her mind, but before she was done, Red was speaking once more.

"Nicky, trust me. I've been playing these games for a long time. I know what I'm doing,"

"For my sake, I really hope you do," she replied.

"Now…how about we spend the day together. We can go get a bit of that disgusting slop they somehow call food and then go listen to Lorna talk about baby names," Red suggested.

"Sounds great, but if Lorna tries to use a paper fortune teller to name her unborn child again, I'm out,"

Red chuckled and went to leave but stopped when she noticed Nicky wasn't following.

"Ma, can I ask you something?" She asked.

"Of course," Red replied.

"I know it's a bit of a tough subject, but you and Healy…what's the story there?"

"It's…complicated," she replied.

"You two never…" Nicky couldn't finish the sentence, but Red understood what she meant.

"No," Red answered quickly, breaking the eye contact they had held for a moment.

Nicky noticed her flinch at the question, the way a person flinches when they feel a sudden pain, like touching a hot stove. She didn't want to push the subject any further, didn't want to cause any pain.

"What we had were a few missed opportunities and unkept promises," Red continued.

Nicky waited for elaboration, the curiosity twinkling in her eyes, but Red picked up on her hesitation to ask any more about it.

"It started out as me trying to manipulate him. I wanted back in the kitchen and using him seemed to be the fastest way. Eventually, I wasn't forcing myself to spend time with him as much I was looking forward to it. He had a sweet side, a gentle side. He was a good man, despite how he may have seemed,"

"And you…loved him?" Nicky asked.

"Yes, I loved him, and I know he loved me. But it didn't matter, nothing could've happened, nothing would have ever happened. His death didn't change anything. I was never going to see him again, and now I know. I'm never getting out Nicky," Red said, sadness weighing in her words.

"Ma, you can't say that for sure,"

"Yes, I can. I was given extra time. It's time that I don't have at my age. I was never going to see Sam again, and I'm never going to see my family again…not after the last time I fucked up. I had to physically beg my son to bring his children…and I couldn't control myself long enough to actually see them. I chose revenge when I should've chosen my family. Now I have no one,"

"Hey, you got family here too. I'm not going anywhere, at least I hope not," Nicky said sincerely, hoping that Red wasn't about to start crying.

"I know. Out of all my daughters, you were always the one I held closest to my heart, and I swear that nothing will happen to you. Not today, and not ever. It's a promise I intend to keep,"

Nicky nodded and gently smiled.

"I know you wanted to get food first, but let's go find Lorna. I think she was trying new baby yoga poses," she suggested.

"Oh god, I hope she didn't get stuck in the downward dog again," Red said with a laugh.

The two of them spent a few hours together. They ate, they laughed, and reminisced about life before and life now. Time flew by until suddenly a stark reminder came in the form of an officer shouting.

"Ok prisoners, time to go outside,"

Red looked into Nicky's eyes.

"It's time," she said.

"I know," Nicky replied.

They got their jackets and put them on slowly. Nicky's hands were shaking to the point where zippering her jacket became difficult. Red noticed and zipped it up for her, leaving her own jacket open.

"Breathe, you'll be fine."

"I'm trying, I'm trying, but every time I close my eyes, I can see a shiv coming right at me,"

"Just stay near the door and keep away from everyone," Red said.

Nicky nodded, but continued to look worried and frazzled.

"Nicky, can I give you a word of advice?"

"Was that a real question or are you going to give the advice even if I say no?"

Red smirked.

"Do you love Lorna?" Red asked

"Guess it's the second one," Nicky said to herself.

"Do you?" Red asked again.

Nicky didn't reply, instead, she looked down and blew out a deep breath. Her silence was Red's answer.

"That's what I thought. My advice is…don't wait. The circumstances aren't good, and the timing is shit, but the circumstances will never be good, and the timing will always be shit. Don't wait until your chance is truly gone, to take it,"

"Ma…"

"No. That's all that I have to say. Now we focus,"

Nicky huffed and shook her head.

"Fine, we'll focus," she said.

"Let's go, inmates, single file line," a guard called out.

The two of them walked outside, one behind the other just like everyone else. The cool air nipped at their skin, their jackets did little to conserve the heat they carried with them. Red closed her eyes and took a shaky breath before fully leaving the comfort of the heated building.

As soon as the two of them were outside their eyes simultaneously began to scan the yard. Nicky saw her first, nudging Red with her elbow and directing her to the corner where Ruby stood. She was talking to another inmate who promptly ended their conversation with a nod as they both looked directly at Nicky. Ruby shot her a sickening grin, sending shivers down her spine.

"Ma, I don't know about this,"

"We're fine. Where's the guard?"

"He's over…fuck!" Nicky whispered, turning away from the guard to face Red. Her expression had lost all calm.

"What?" Red asked, concerned.

"That's the guard who works for her…one of them at least,"

He stood in the yard, a tall man with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. His stature allowed him to physically do what he had mentally done all his life, look down upon others. His features always formed a pissy expression as if someone had just insulted him, but usually he was the one throwing the insults.

"Ok, …it's fine. I had a backup plan in case something like this happened. Just trust me and stay back," she said.

Nicky nodded and Red walked over to the guard.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"The fuck do you want?" the guard replied.

"I'm feeling a little faint, I…" Red didn't finish her sentence, instead, she practically fell into the guard, one hand wrapping around his neck for support while the other quickly snuck the bag of drugs into his back pocket.

"What the hell! Back the fuck off inmate or I'll toss you in solitary for a week," he yelled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I just felt a little dizzy. I'm feeling better now,"

"Don't let it happen again," he said sternly.

"I won't, I promise," she said walking away, her hands held in the air.

As she turned around, she saw Nicky backing up into a corner as a crowd began to form. Ruby stayed back, remaining a silent onlooker to the events about to unfold. Looking to the guard, Red half expected him to put a stop to things, but he wasn't even looking in that direction. She caught him wink at Ruby and then continue to stare at the laces on his shoes.

Red huffed in frustration and made her way to the crowd, pushing her way to the front. Once she made it, she saw a tall girl with short black hair pull something out from her waistband and step closer to Nicky.

She could see the panic on her daughter's face as the girl came closer.

Nicky looked frantically for a point of escape, but there was none, she was completely trapped. With a deep breath, her eyes closed as she waited for the pain to wash over her.

Red couldn't just stand back and watch, so without hesitation, she ran towards the pair. Her heart was racing, and she had forgotten how to breathe, but only one thought repeated through her mind 'Save Nicky,".

As Nicky's eyes were closed, she stood shaking in anticipation, but nothing happened. The girls around her had been cheering and hooting as they waited to watch the action unfold, but in an instant everything was quiet. Nicky opened her eyes and saw Red standing in front of her.

Before any reaction could occur, the hand that had swung back, rushed forward to meet its intended target.

The next thing Nicky saw was a blood-soaked shiv in the girl's hand, crimson drops slowly fell from the sharp object and onto the cold cement. As the warm blood made contact with the cold ground, one could see the steam rising and mixing with the wintery air. Nicky felt as if the world had slowed. She tried to make a noise, to even breathe, but it took more than a few moments for her body to catch up with her mind.

"No!" she screamed.

Red had felt the blade as it pierced into her. The adrenaline pumping through her veins ensured that she felt little pain, but all of the sudden it was hard to breathe, and then to stand.

As her knees buckled, she felt two hands gently guiding her to the ground.

Finally, the guard stepped into action, yelling at the prisoners to step back, and using his radio to call in the emergency. Immediately, an alarm began blaring and lights flashed. Everyone scattered, running towards the building, holding their ears to muffle the sound.

Ruby's girl went over to her

"What should I do? I wasn't expecting the old bitch to step in the way. Should I kill Nichols now?" she asked.

"No. The debt's been paid. She's learned her lesson," Ruby replied, her expression softening at the sight of Nicky holding her dying mother in her arms.

She held her close, one hand cupping her face.

"No, no, please… Hey, look at me. Red you stay with me do you hear me?" Nicky asked as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Blood was spilling from Red's abdomen, even with pressure from Nicky's hands over the wound, the flow remained rapid and uncontrollable, slipping through her fingers. Nicky increased the pressure and muttered to herself.

"What the fuck?"

"You said you had a plan…you said-" she started, but Red spoke, her voice weak and breathy.

"This…was the plan," she confessed.

"You lied to me. You told me no one would get hurt!" Nicky said shaking her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You're safe…it's all that …matters," Red replied.

"You are all that matters," she said with a gentle smile, as blood began to drip from the corner of her mouth.

"No, I can't do this without you…I can't. You have to stay," Nicky cried.

Red tried to speak again but winced in pain. After a few seconds, she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You…are so much stronger than you think,"

"Please. Ma," Nicky pleaded.

Red looked deep into her eyes as her last breath escaped her lips and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Ma?" Nicky croaked.

"Red?…Red! Fuck! Stay with me, please. Help is coming, just wait…"

"You have to wait… you have to be ok…please," she begged.

"Prisoner, get inside," the guard yelled, but she remained.

She was shell shocked, everything else had faded. Nothing mattered. Her mother was still there in her arms, her body still warm, her deep blue eyes still looking into her own, but she was gone. She was gone because of her and there was nothing she could do.

As if something had broken inside her, she released a scream from deep within. All the anger, the sadness, and the shock emerged violently.

"I said to go inside," the guard yelled and tried to grab her arm, but she shook him loose. Her hands went back to holding Red's face, brushing the hair off her forehead, and wiping the blood from her mouth with her sleeve.

Once the other guards came out to the scene, two of them grabbed Nicky by the arms and physically dragged her from the body. She began thrashing and screaming at them to be let go, but they didn't listen.

"I said get the fuck off of me! Go help her, you have to, you have to fucking help her!" Nicky yelled.

While dragging her they left a trail of Red's blood. Nicky was coated in it, it was on her clothes, her hands, in her hair.

Lorna had been walking the halls when all of the commotions caught her attention. An alarm blaring, guards yelling at inmates to get back inside, inmates running back to their bunks, and finally, a blood-soaked Nicky being dragged off as she screamed and cried. Lorna's heart dropped into her stomach.

She walked up to a guard.

"Hey! What the hell is goin on?" she yelled.

The guard ignored her and kept directing inmates back to their bunks.

She scoffed and took a deep breath before pushing past the guards and inmates as fast as she could to get outside. She needed to know.

"Inmate! Get back here!"

She ignored him just like he had her and made her way to the yard. As her head turned to face the outdoors, her rapid pace came to an abrupt halt. Her lip quivered, and her jaw fell open. The tears flooded her eyes as her hand flew to cover her mouth in horror. Her knees began to buckle, but before she fell to the ground two guards came up behind her to pull her back inside.

A few more guards passed Lorna on their way to the scene. They hadn't been given much information but knew there was an emergency and backup was needed.

Luschek was one of the guards responding to the call, and as he walked out, he saw Lorna being dragged away crying.

"What the fuck is going on?" he asked, walking up to Ruby's guard.

"Altercation in the yard. We're gonna need a body bag," the guard replied.

Luschek walked a little further until he saw Red lying there in a puddle of her own blood. His face grew stern. He hadn't known the woman very well, but he knew she was someone people didn't mess around with. He also knew that she was more of a mother to some of the girls than their actual mothers.

He couldn't look at her anymore, and he turned back to face the guard. The irresponsible guard who let this go down.

"How the fuck did something like this happen? You're supposed to watch them…it's kinda your only fucking job," he said angrily.

"I was watching them. It all happened so fast," the man replied.

Luschek noticed something sticking out of the guard's pocket and pulled it out.

"I'm guessing this was what maybe…slowed down your reactions?" he said, waving the drugs around.

"I don't know how that got in there, I swear I'm not on anything man. You gotta believe me,"

"What I 'gotta believe' is that you'll turn in your resignation by the end of the day. I'd do it before word gets out that you let a prisoner die right before getting caught with a bag of drugs hanging out of your pocket,"

The guard nodded guiltily and walked off.

"Fuck," Luschek muttered, shaking his head.

After a few hours, the lockdown ceased, and people could move freely once again. Word of Red's passing circulated and while most were unaffected, many of the girls who were with her in minimum were devastated.

Once Lorna had calmed down, she knew she needed to talk to someone.

"Nicky?" she said softly as she entered her bunk.

Nicky remained silent, still lying down in her bed her eyes, open and staring at the blank wall before her.

She was still wearing the same clothes, still covered in the now dry and stale blood.

"Nicky…" she whispered, her voice cracking at the sight.

Nicky sat up and as soon as her eyes met Lorna's, she began to cry.

Lorna rushed over and hugged her, holding her tight and letting her tears fall on to her shoulder.

"Shhhhhh…I know…It's ok," Lorna said, trying to calm her down.

"Let's get you cleaned up ok?" she said with a sad smile.

Nicky didn't say a word. Her eyes were blank, and her breathing was ragged.

She grabbed clean clothes and helped her get changed, one step at a time. Next, she took a rag and gently got rid of the blood on her cheek and her hands. She pushed Nicky's hair out of her face and smiled weakly.

"There, that's better," Lorna said with a gentle smile.

"It's my fault," Nicky whispered.

"No, it's not," Lorna said sternly.

"Yes, it is. I should never have let her get involved…I shouldn't-"

"Hey, you look at me. You and I both know that once Red Reznikov sets her mind on something, there's no changing it. She wasn't goin to let you get hurt,"

Nicky wasn't convinced, she still let herself take the blame. If she hadn't been using, if she hadn't crossed Ruby, and if she hadn't turned to Red for help, she would still be alive.

"She told me to give you something. She said to wait until after you were back from the yard. I asked her why she couldn't give it to you herself…she didn't answer," Lorna said.

She took out folded papers and handed them to her. Nicky unfolded them, recognizing the handwriting immediately.

"I'll come back a little later. Some of the other girls and me are planning a memorial service. I really hope you come,"

Nicky nodded and then looked back down to the letter once Lorna had gone.

To my lovely daughter,

I didn't carry you, I didn't bring you into this world, but ever since the day you fell into my lap, I could've sworn I had. You have the biggest heart, slightly hardened by years of mistreatment, but it is full of life and love and excitement for the world. One day, you'll get out of here. One day you will have the opportunity to make something of yourself, so I'm begging you not to fuck it up. I have a feeling that I won't survive past the week but just know that I'll still be watching, and I will always look out for you.

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the true plan, but I knew that if I told you the truth you wouldn't let me go through with it. The only thing that matters is that you are safe. I've lived my life, and I don't want to waste any more of it in here. You have a shot at happiness, I'm begging you to take it. Lorna loves you, take it from someone who has lived long enough to recognize the look she gives you. Don't let her go without a fight.

And Nicky, before you go down a path of guilt and self-pity, know that this wasn't your fault. This was my decision and mine alone. I'm so sorry that I have to leave you like this, but you've convinced me that you are strong enough to get through this. You got yourself clean, you owned your mess and took care of it, you're ready. Listen to me and go live your life to the fullest, don't waste it.

-Love, your Mother

Nicky smiled as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"I love you Ma," she whispered.

As days went on, Nicky's heart began to heal. Each night before she slept, she reread the letter and let the words float across her mind. She dreamt of Red's smile and her voice, yelling at her to stop moping around and start living.

Rumors spread around the prison that Ruby had been out of business ever since her supplier quit suddenly. Her empire came crashing down and she was once again at the bottom of the food chain. Her group soon found a new leader and things managed to balance out once more.

The memorial service that Lorna had put together, had been a beautiful reflection of Red's life. Stories were told, speeches were given, and tears were shed in great abundance. Nicky chose not to speak, rather she listened to everyone else. All the people that Red helped with little to nothing in return, in fact, more than a few of them had turned on her or sold her out at one point or another. After everything had come to a close, Nicky pulled Lorna aside.

"What's going on?" Lorna asked with a chuckle.

"I have something to say, and it's kinda important. I don't need an answer today, or tomorrow, but I know that if I don't say it now I never will. I love you, Lorna. I love to look at you, I love to hear your voice, believe it or not, I love to hold you and to be around you. Someone told me that…that I shouldn't hold anything back because we never know what's going to happen, and I wanted to tell you before I miss my chance," As she finished, she realized that Lorna was staring at her wide-eyed and unsure of what to say. Nicky held her breath in anticipation of her response.

"Wow, well it is pretty concerning when you of all people are speechless," she joked.

"Nicky…I…I'm married. And I got the little one on the way I mean…talk about timing," Lorna said with a tearful chuckle.

"I know that this is coming out of nowhere and that things are complicated right now. I'm not asking you to abandon everything or make some big confession like I just did. I just needed you to know and now you do so—"

Lorna cut off Nicky's rambling with a kiss. It was quick enough, so the guards didn't see, but still passionate and loving.

"I..I love you too…but that doesn't change the situation," Lorna said sadly.

"I know, I know. I just want you to be happy," Nicky replied.

"This is a lot to think about. I should go. I'm glad you came tonight," she said

"So am I,"

"Nicky?"

"Yeah?" she asked.

There was a silence, and neither knew what to say. Lorna only called her back to see her one more time, so she quickly said the first thing that came to mind.

"Get some sleep,"

"I will… you too," Nicky replied.

Lorna nodded and walked off.

Nicky laid down in her bed and stared at the letter in her hands as she'd done so many times. With a huff and a wry chuckle, she whispered.

"Well Ma, you were right… She loves me,"