Chapter 7: Blown Away
Chaos. That's how Bucky would describe war. Lucky shots and answered prayers. It almost seemed pointless. Three days in and they hadn't gained any ground, only defended the gain they'd previously made. Frustration nudged against Bucky's tired brain. He just wanted sleep without the whizzing of bullets and the fear of a grenade landing in his lap.
"What I wouldn't give for a bed, with a down feather pillow and soft cotton sheets," Adams mused from Bucky's right, ducking back down in the foxhole after shooting off a round.
"A nice hot shower with ivory soap and a big fluffy towel," Houser threw out, inching his way behind the men to get a better vantage point.
"Me mother's lamb stew, with carrots and potatoes from the garden," O'Hara shouted out from across the way, joining in on the conversation.
"Girls, with their soft curls, pretty dresses and painted smiles," Fisher chimed in, muttering it around the pin of the grenade he sent flying towards the few Germans who dared to try and get within 20 feet of the foxhole.
"Bucky seemed to manage alright in that department," McKenzie chuckled, nudging Bucky's left shoulder. "Don't think we didn't notice you sneaking off to say goodbye to Anna."
"So, did you finally kiss her?" Adams asked the question all the men had been wondering since Bucky came strolling into their tent a half hour later the night before they were dragged back to the frontlines.
"You guys need to get a life," Bucky mumbled, keeping his eye steadied on his scope as he picked off a few Germans.
"I take that disgruntled response to mean no," McKenzie retorted, shaking his head at his friend. "What the hell are you waiting for? The German's to surrender?"
"Haven't you ever seen a boxing match? You rush into anything, you make mistakes," Bucky countered. He wasn't going to make any mistakes with Anna. He only had one shot at getting things right with her, and he wasn't going to blow it by making a move too early.
"Comparing wooing a woman to boxing, how romantic," Fisher taunted with a good natured laugh after spitting the pin into the grass.
"I figured you'd be more familiar with an analogy than the actual wooing," Bucky retorted, earning him a mock glare from Fisher.
"Well, wait too long and maybe I'll lay one on her," Adams commented with a playful wink, purposefully pushing Bucky's buttons. Anna was a sweet gal, and pretty to boot, but he would never make a move on the girl who had his brother in arm's affections.
"I'd like to be around to see her slap you for even trying," Bucky shot back, a smile forming as he pictured Anna when she was all riled up.
After that, the conversation dwindled along with the fighting. A small respite from constant action. Half took the time to sleep, the other stayed alert should the fighting pick back up again. Feeling generous, Bucky volunteered to let some of the others sleep first. Leaning against the dirt wall, he let his mind wander back to New York.
His mother and Rebecca would just be leaving the factory where they worked. His mother would probably have leftover stew on, watered down a bit from adding more water to stretch it a few more days. Not as much had he still been at home. Rebecca and his mother combined probably ate half of what Bucky used to put away before a boxing match. They'd bow their heads to pray before eating, something they started doing regularly once Bucky got his orders.
Steve was harder to pin down. Bucky hoped he'd be joining Rebecca and his mom for dinner, but he knew the chances of that happening were low. Steve was more likely to be down some back alley fighting the good fight against every bully in Brooklyn. That or attempting to join the army, again. Bucky prayed to god no idiot ever accepted him; that the war efforts didn't make recruiters desperate enough to pull him into this hell.
Pulling out a pen and the letters he'd started a week ago from his inner jacket pocket, Bucky drew his knees in so he could use them as a desk. He tried to keep his letters upbeat, so as not to worry his family or Steve. However, there was only so much spin you could put on a bad situation. So he wrote about the one good thing that came out of him going to war: Anna. He wrote how she'd told off the other doctor who was being a chauvinistic pig, how she's the Howard Stark's sister, and how she got seasick and 'thanks to you Steve, I could play hero.'
The words came easily when he wrote about Anna, but there were some things he kept for himself. Like how she flushed a light pink anytime he said anything remotely flirtatious. The time she laughed so hard at one of McKenzie's jokes she gave a little snort and looked completely mortified after. The way she always fiddled with something, her skirt or a pen or even her own hands, when she was nervous. The way her eyes brightened and a smile touched her lips whenever she talked about her brother. How she called him James. She was the only person he let call him James.
Gunfire tore Bucky from his musings. O'Hara fired off rounds, shouting in desperation at his platoon. Looks like their respite was over. And he hadn't even gotten a wink of shut eye. Jamming the letters back into his pocket, Bucky sprang to action. Through his scope he saw two platoons of Germans marching towards them.
"Wake up boys, the party's starting again," Bucky shouted, jostling Adams and McKenzie with his foot. He never removed his eye from his scope, joining in on O'Hara's symphony of gunshots. The men managed to take out half a platoon before the Germans got too close to count on sniping techniques to pick them off.
"Cover me," Bucky called out as he leaped over the dirt wall of the fox hole. He didn't particularly want to go walking into a platoon of Germans, but someone had to lead the way. Thanks to the patch on his uniform ranking him as Sergeant, Bucky figured he was supposed to be that someone.
"Sorry Ace," Bucky murmured as he crept closer to the enemy, his boots sinking in the mud. The squishing sound was drowned out by crack of guns firing. Bucky had to work hard not to flinch at every gunshot, yet still brace himself for the high probability that he would get hit. Even if he miraculously didn't get shot, hand to hand combat wasn't exactly a cakewalk. The chances of him keeping his promise to come back alive plummeted with each step he took.
As he slung his rifle across his back, Bucky felt a sense of loss. He was best at shooting, got the best score in basic for it. He was a sniper walking into a close quarter fight. All because the General had seen a spark of leadership in him. Pulling a knife from his side, Bucky flipped it out of habit before adjusting his grip. Holding it between his left pointer finger and thumb like they'd taught at base camp, Bucky wrapped his palm around the knife. The closer he got, the faster his brain recited the techniques he would need to use.
Don't slit throat, plunge the knife through the carotid artery on either side of neck. Pull enemy onto your knife instead of driving it into them. Push gun arm away from body. Grab wrist. Subdue on ground. Slam hand up under jaw. Knee to groin. Jam fingers in eyes. No hesitation in war. Kill or be killed.
He skewered the first soldier he came close to on his knife, kneeing him in the groin and twisting his head. The sickening crack of the man's neck had Bucky fighting back bile. It wasn't as though he'd never killed before. He'd shot his fair few of Germans and Axis men. But that was the first time he was close enough to feel the life leave the soldier's body as it slumped to the ground.
All hell broke loose after that. Limbs and weapons were flailing. The sharp scent of gun smoke lingered in the air. Chaos. War. Lucky shots. Silent prayers. Someone answered Bucky's. Some of his fellow soldiers had followed him. Bucky had to thank them for that. He'd be dead if they hadn't.
Caught up in a fist fight with one soldier, Bucky didn't notice a second one creeping up on his blind side until it was too late. Bracing himself, Bucky winced at the sound of a shot firing. When pain didn't follow the sound, Bucky opened his eyes to find Adams was the one who had fired, killing the German soldier before he could kill Bucky.
"You can't die before you kiss Anna," Adams shouted, knocking the butt of his rifle against another soldier's head.
Shaking his head, Bucky lost track of Adams and the rest of his platoon as he jumped back into the fray. Tangled limbs, knives, and guns made it hard to see who he was actually fighting. Bucky got whacked in the jaw as he fought off the soldier before him. Before he could register the pain, someone screamed frantically.
"Grenade!" A voice hollered over the smacks of fists hitting skin and guns firing.
Struggling to disengage himself from the battle, Bucky sprinted back towards the foxhole. The rest of his platoon followed right on his heels and he managed to launch himself over the edge of the hole just as an explosion sounded behind him. It shook the ground, causing loose dirt to rain down on Bucky.
As the dust settled, an eerie silence filled the battlefield, the shouts and shots of fighting snuffed out with one tiny grenade. When the wailing of those who hadn't made it to the fox hole, but who had survived the explosion, sent a chill down Bucky's spine.
"What are you doing?" Adams asked, setting a heavy hand on Bucky's shoulder when he started to rise.
"We can't just leave them out there," Bucky insisted. It wasn't right for the men to die alone in the middle of a field. If it was him, he'd hope someone would come for him.
"And you dying to get them would be better?" Adam hissed, watching as Bucky peeked over the edge of the foxhole before hoisting himself up over the side.
Creeping along the field strewn with bodies, Bucky kept low as he made his way towards the soldiers moaning in pain. The scuff of boots behind him had Bucky whipping around, gun pointed and ready. Instead of an enemy soldier, he found Adams and McKenzie with their hands raised.
"We weren't about to let you do this alone," McKenzie said, walking past Bucky to kneel beside one of the fallen soldiers.
With McKenzie and Adams' help, Bucky managed to pull their two injured men back to the foxhole. From there Bucky ordered two men from the 91st to see them back to camp. They needed medical attention the likes that none of them would be able to attempt and provide. They needed Anna.
"I don't know if Anna can fix them up," Adams sighed as he watched the wounded soldiers being trucked off. "They're hurt pretty bad."
"She saved Sanders. If anyone can save them, it's her," McKenzie murmured.
Bucky heaved a heavy sigh. Both Adams and McKenzie were right. He hoped he'd done the right thing bringing the men off the field. With one last glance at the disappearing trucks, Bucky sent out a prayer that Anna could save them or, if she couldn't, that they'd die before they reached her. If only so she didn't have to go through losing her first patient alone.
A/N hello my lovelies. I know this is shorter than normal, but I knew that when I started writing this chapter. I know I missed a Relentless update. Truth be told I'm struggling with writer's block on that one, but I will work through it. I always do. I hope you enjoyed this update!
Onto Guest Review Responses!
Jo: I'm sadistically going to say I'm happy you found the last chapter heart wrenching. That's the emotion I was going for! Thanks for reviewing!
Bucky fan No1: I'm so glad you're loving the story! I am right with you on the Bucky making a move front. I can't wait for them to have their first kiss, but I have to pace it right!
Pam: I agree, the storyline of Winter Soldier meeting a girl who can help him become the man he once was or at least a good man has always appealed to me. Obviously, since that was the first story I wrote. And I agree, pre-war James did seem like a flirt to me too, but I always saw him as the kind of man who would flirt without meaning much by it until he found THE girl. I'm so glad this story has changed your viewpoint! I'm not sure how long this story is going to be yet, but it will probably run for 20 or more chapters to get through all the ideas I've formed in my head (which are just mish-mash of different scenes right now). I am planning on bringing Steve in this story, have no doubt. Thank you so much for always reviewing. I am always happy to hear from you!
Rach
xoxo