Chapter 8: First Aid

"Patients die all the time. Especially out here. She should get used to it," Dr. King muttered as he paused in the tedious paperwork required when patients died.

"Just because you're a heartless bastard doesn't mean she has to become void of all emotions," Helen harrumphed as she finished laying new linens on the cots.

"She's too emotional. That's why women shouldn't be doctors."

"Maybe that's what makes me a better doctor," Anna countered as she ducked into the tent. "I can take over the paperwork from here."

Dr. King didn't object, setting down his pen immediately and making his way towards the entrance of the tent.

"You look horrible by the way. Maybe try to get some more sleep," he commented as he passed by Anna.

"Don't listen to him, you look fine," Helen said once Dr. King had left the tent.

"No, he's right. I hardly slept the past few nights." Anna knew she had bags under her eyes and was sure her face showed the complete exhaustion her whole body felt. However, she needed to work. She'd received a three day reprieve from the medic tent, but she couldn't hide from it forever. She couldn't let herself be afraid of working on patients and she needed something, anything, to keep her mind preoccupied.

Stepping up to the desk, Anna read over what Dr. King had written to the families who lost their sons. As expected, they were cold and formal. Crinkling the papers up into a ball, Anna pulled fresh parchment out and began writing her own letters. It wasn't exactly getting her mind off the patient she lost, but it was therapeutic all the same.

Several more crinkled balls of paper joined Dr. King's letters on the ground as Anna tried to find better words of condolence than 'I'm sorry I let your son die at my hands.' When she finished she had ink stains on her hands and her heart. Writing a heartfelt letter to the family was better than nothing, but it still wouldn't bring their son back. Shuffling the paperwork together, Anna let out a long sigh. If only she'd gotten to the patient sooner. If only he'd been prepped before he got to her. If, if, if.

"I hate to admit it, but Dr. King is right. You can't save every soldier. The important part is you always try," Helen murmured before leaving to take the paperwork and letters Anna handed her to the general.

Washing her hands and face with cold water from the wash basin, Anna patted her face dry before approaching Corporal Sanders.

"Are you ready to try and reach the other side of the tent today?" Anna asked as she stood beside his cot.

"How about to the fourth cot?" Sanders bartered.

"Deal," Anna smiled, helping Corporal Sanders up and letting him adjust his grip on her before they started walking.

"How's the pain?" Anna asked when Corporal Sander's grip tightened between the third and fourth cot.

"Bearable," he muttered through clenched teeth.

"Let's turn around. I don't want to push you too hard. It'll do more harm than good," Anna insisted, turning them around.

"Can I ask you a question?" Anna asked once Corporal Sanders sat on his cot.

"Of course," Sanders responded immediately, without a second thought.

"Was there anything more I could do to save Private Schneider?" Anna whispered, smoothing out her skirt as she waited for an answer she might not want.

"No. You did everything in your power to save him. Maybe if us soldiers had learned more about how to help the wounded in the field, they'd make it back to you in better condition."

"That's it!" Anna exclaimed with a smile, grasping Corporal Sanders' shoulders. "I could train platoons basic skills. Ones that would help the soldiers make it to base in a condition I could heal."

"But platoons are already fighting on the frontlines," Sanders pointed out.

"I'll start with the ones left here. When they cycle out I'll teach those coming in from the lines. I have to start somewhere." She had to do something to help keep soldiers from becoming lost causes on the route back to base.

…

"It's really quite satisfying when boys realizing you're smarter than them," Helen smiled as Anna and her packed up their supplies. They'd spent the day teaching the platoons still at base simple life-saving medical tricks they could use in the field.

"I particularly enjoyed you tightening the sample tourniquet around Hudson's leg when he started getting mouthy," Anna responded with a smirk.

"I was just trying to show them how it's properly applied," Helen commented lightly, her smile widening.

Anna had always liked Helen, but in that moment she felt a kindred fondness. Ever since Anna lost her patient, Helen had her back, in the medical tent as well as with Dr. King. It was nice having another person on base who didn't talk or look down at her. James, his platoon, and Corporal Sanders had been the only ones who hadn't questioned her station.

"Do you want me to bring you some food?" Helen asked, pausing on her way out of the tent. It was Anna's night shift in the medic tent. Dr. King had left for food as soon as they returned from their teaching session.

"That'd be great. Thanks." Anna tended to avoid the cook's tent during meal times when she could, grabbing food to go instead of staying to eat. She didn't know any of the remaining soldiers well enough to eat with them, and Helen and her usually had to eat in shifts as one or the other remained behind in the medical tent.

Anna sat on the cot beside Corporal Sanders as they both ate the thin broth the cook called pot luck soup. She had a new letter from her father sprawled out across the cot. He talked about New York, how the price for fruit has gone up, and how it's 'hot as Hades.' He even mentioned yet another potential suitor, complete with a photo. The only thing her father hadn't mentioned was the war.

"Who's the guy?" Corporal Sanders asked when Anna tossed the photo carelessly to the side.

"According to my father's letter, Nathan Ainsley. Even thousands of miles away, across the ocean and in another country during a war, he's still trying to set me up with a 'nice' boy." Anna sighed.

"You could always tell him you found a nice soldier. Maybe it would curb his enthusiasm," Corporal Sanders suggested.

Anna's thoughts immediately drifted towards James. His easy smile, charm, and wit. Her father would love him. But she wouldn't put herself in the position of pretending they were something more only to get her father off her back. It would be mortifying should James find out. And it didn't feel right to make up a soldier, or lie about one she'd met.

"I think I'll stick to ignoring his prods and hints. It'll be much easier with an ocean between us."

…

The 107th returned in the middle of the night, under the cover of darkness, a week and a half later. It was a much needed break. Constantly being on alert took a toll: emotionally, mentally, and physically. Bucky was thankful they were able to switch out platoons on the front lines. He knew it wouldn't always be the case, so he relished in the small time they would get to regroup before heading back out.

Falling into the cot in his tent, Bucky kicked off his boots before curling up under the scratchy, green, army regulated blankets and falling asleep. He slept like a rock, not waking until the next morning when Adams pulled his blanket off of him.

"Sorry to wake you from your slumber, but Anna's outside the tent for you," Adams smiled widely. He watched as Bucky stumbled to his feet, slipping on his boots.

Splashing a bit of water on his face, Bucky debated whether to shave or not. Glancing in the mirror, he decided it was worth the time to look as presentable as possible. After checking to make sure he didn't miss any spots shaving, Bucky straightened out his shirt, twisted from sleep, before heading towards the front of the tent. Anna waited off to the side, but she glanced up as the flap of the tent closed behind him.

"Get in much trouble while I was gone Ace?" Bucky asked as he moved towards her, forcing himself to keep a respectable distance between them. The way her face fell at his question had his smile faltering. "What's wrong? Did someone say something, do something?"

"No, it's nothing like that," Anna breathed out, tears collecting in her eyes. "I lost a patient. It sounds stupid. We're in the middle of war. People are going to die. But. It's the first time I've had someone die at my hands."

"Ace, it doesn't sound stupid at all. I'm so sorry," Bucky took a faltering step forward, about to wrap Anna in a comforting hug before catching himself. It wasn't his place to comfort her so intimately. Instead he offered her his handkerchief. The one his mother had given him before he got sent out. It had his initials sewn into the corner.

"Thanks," Anna murmured, taking the cloth and dabbing at her eyes.

"I hate to ask, but who was the soldier?" Bucky didn't necessarily want to know if it was one of the men he'd sent back to Anna, but he needed to know. Needed to apologize for his part in it all.

"Private Schneider. He wasn't even twenty," Anna murmured, wiping away a tear that had escaped and was running down her cheek.

Bucky's shoulders slumped at the name. Schneider was one of the two men he'd pulled from no mans land.

"I'm so sorry Ace," Bucky repeated, pulling at the collar of his shirt that felt more like a noose at the moment. "I pulled Greenwich off the field after he'd been in range of a grenade. I sent him back to you."

"Never apologize for trying to save a fellow soldier. If it was…" Anna drifted off, catching herself before she could voice the emotionally compromising statement of 'if it was you I'd want someone to try and save you.' Instead she cleared her throat and continued, "you did the right thing."

"Just remember, he died at the hands of the Axis, not yours. You were trying to save him. But you can't save us all."

"I know. Which brings me to why I came to see you," Anna countered.

"You mean to tell me this isn't a social call?" James smiled crookedly at her, flustering her for a moment.

"No. I mean, yes and no. I wanted to see you, but I also wanted to ask if your platoon would be up to learning some basic first aid. To help injured soldiers make it back to me in a salvageable state." Anna could have asked Private Adams to pass along the message to James when he'd seen her outside the tent earlier, but she'd wanted an excuse to see James again.

"Of course. When did you have in mind?" Bucky immediately agreed. He knew the guys wouldn't object, especially since it could save their asses out in the field. It didn't hurt that it would relieve some of Anna's stress. The less patients she lost the better.

"I'll give you guys a day of rest. I'm sure you need it. How about tomorrow?"

"Done. Now may I escort you to breakfast?" Bucky offered with a wide smile.

James' platoon had already made their way towards the chef's tent, so Anna and James walked together, alone. Anna promised to give James his handkerchief back after she had a chance to wash it, but he brushed it off.

"You can keep it. Something to remind you you're not alone out here when I'm back at the frontlines." At James' insistence, Anna folded the handkerchief dotted with her tears and tucked it into her jacket pocket.

…

"So what's going on with you and Barnes?" Helen asked when Anna made her way into the tent a little later than normal. Helen knew it was because the 107th was back and Anna had eaten breakfast with a certain soldier who had returned from the frontlines.

"What do you mean?" Anna asked as she took Corporal Sander's vitals.

"You two seem close," Helen responded.

"We're friends," Anna insisted, noticing the look Helen shot her when she glanced up at her.

"Seriously? You can't be friends with a man who looks like him. He's the epitome of dreamy."

"There's more to him than just looks," Anna said before she could stop herself.

"Even more of a reason you can't be just friends."

"Well we are," Anna insisted. Desperate to change the subject she added, "by the way, we're training the 107th on first aid tomorrow. I already cleared it with James."

"James?" Helen smiled conspiratorially, only stifling her amusement when Anna shot her an exasperated look. "Okay, okay. I'm done teasing. I'll be ready to help you out tomorrow."

…

Bucky rounded up his men after lunch the next day, directing them to the clearing behind the camp where Anna told him they'd be practicing first aid. Some of them grumbled about spending their free time working, but most of them shut up at the stern look Bucky, Adams and McKenzie shot them.

"What's first on the agenda, Ace?" Bucky asked when the group formed a semi-circle around Anna and the nurse beside her.

"Learning the difference between clotting powder and penicillin," Anna announced, holding up two bags that looked fairly similar to Bucky.

"This is penicillin. Use it on open wounds to prevent infection. It could save a man a limb and possibly his life," Anna instructed handing the bag in her right hand off to James for him to pass around to the guys.

"This is clotting powder. If someone's bleeding badly and you can't apply a tourniquet to stop the blood loss, use this on the wound. It will slow the loss of blood and keep him conscious and alive till he reaches base." Anna added, passing the second bag around.

"Any questions so far?" Anna asked, glancing around until one soldier hesitantly raised his hand.

"How do you properly apply a tourniquet?"

"Thank you for that segway," Helen smiled, taking control. "Anna would be happy to demonstrate. Any volunteers?" The gleam in her eyes brightened as they scanned the crowd, stopping on Sergeant Barnes.

Every soldier in Bucky's platoon knew better than to volunteer. Not that Bucky gave them the chance, stepping forward and volunteering as soon as Helen had asked.

"Where do you want me, Ace?" James asked when he was standing before Anna. His question had the group snickering and Anna's neck heating up.

"Just lie on your back where everyone can see you," Anna insisted, trying not to wince at how wrong that sounded, guessing the soldiers' train of thought.

"One of the most important things to know about tourniquets is only apply them when a soldier is hemorrhaging out of a major artery." Kneeling down beside James, Anna's hands hovered over his body to show where his major arteries were. She only hesitated minutely in pointing out the femoral arteries.

"You must never leave a tourniquet covered by blankets or clothing. It could cost an injured soldier a limb if myself, Helen, or Dr. King don't know he has a tourniquet and it remains on too long."

There were mumblings of disconcert from the crowd at the last statement; the men wondering if they should even attempt a tourniquet with no medical background.

"Let me put it this way, would you rather risk losing a limb or risk dying?" Most of the men favored their lives.

"You will all receive med packs that have a band with metal attached to it, somewhat similar to a belt buckle," Anna continued, holding up one of the bands. "You will use these to create a tourniquet around hemorrhaging arteries."

Knowing she needed to demonstrate tourniquets on both the femoral and axillary artery, Anna saved the femoral for last. James' blue eyes stared up at her as she applied the band around his arm first. Talking as she worked, she verbally narrated her actions as she showed how the material should be looped through the metal bits so the band could be tightened enough to stop the bleeding. Of course, she refrained from actually cutting off the blood flow to James' left arm. Though she couldn't help but notice the tight cords of muscle in his arm as she maneuvered the band around it. His muscles twitched under her touch through his military shirt causing her heart to stutter right along with them.

Attempting to steady her nerves, Anna removed the strap from James' arm and avoided eye contact as she moved towards his leg. She'd barely gotten the strap around his leg when someone wolf whistled. Anna had expected no less from the soldiers, but it still had her hands fumbling with the strap.

"Grow up Kennon and let her do her job," James barked out the order. His serious tone had her eyes flying up to meet his. Flashing her an encouraging smile, Anna found her hands steadying as she finished her demonstration.

"Time to prove you were paying attention. Break into pairs and practice what we've went over," Anna ended the teaching session twenty minutes later after going over the best way to apply bandages without risking infection.

"Kennon, you're with me," James called out, rising to his feet beside Anna. Turning towards her, he rubbed the back of his neck before giving her a hesitant smile. "Sorry if he made you uncomfortable. He'll be paying for it."

"As long as he walks away knowing how to do everything I taught them, I'll be happy," Anna insisted with a smile.

"Done," James responded with a wider smile before heading towards his partner.

"Don't even try and tell me there's nothing going on there," Helen stage whispered as she idled up to Anna's side and watched as Anna's eyes followed Barnes' figure retreating into the group of men.

Before Anna could comment on Helen's statement, a soldier approached her with a letter from Howard. After making sure Helen was okay with verifying the soldiers knew what they were doing, Anna retreated to the tent they shared. Curling up on her cot, Anna opened the letter, smiling at all the ink smudges on the paper.

Anna Banana,

I cannot express how much I wish I had been there to help you through the death of your first patient. You care more about others than anyone I've ever met, a curse and a blessing in your profession. I've decided I hate not being able to big-brother you with you so far away, so I'm sending myself over there with the Scientific Strategic Reserve. The government has finally admitted to being stupid and have asked me to help them improve their weapons to give them an edge over the Germans. I agreed as long as we'd be stationed with the 107th. So I'll be seeing you soon and giving you that long overdue hug. Knowing how our post works, I'll expect to arrive near the time your receive this. Chin up Anna Banana. Now you can finally introduce me to the Sergeant Barnes you've mentioned in your letters. Don't think I didn't notice. I don't think I've ever heard you talk so much about a man before. Perhaps father's search for a suitor is finally over? Don't worry, I'll only embarrass you a little. See you soon!

Love from your favorite inventor,

Howard

A/ N: Hello to those who have stuck with this story after a very long break between chapters. I hope you enjoyed this update and thank you for your patience while waiting for me to update.

For those that are interested, I've started a twitter specifically for my fanfiction. My twitter handle is GracelesslyRach and my profile picture is the same as it is on here. I'll be posting aesthetics for this story as well as my other fanfics, some polls about the fanfics, and just random updates I have on the story as I continue to write. So go friend me if you want to participate in all that and feel free to message me on there. I love talking to all of you!

Onto guest review responses:

To the guest who chastised Bucky for sending the injured soldiers to Anna: I see your point, but then he was trying to help his fellow soldiers. Sorry I made you so frustrated you used all caps!

Jo: I'm glad you loved the last chapter and found it moving! Exactly what I was going for. Hope you liked this update.

Pam: I'm honored that you couldn't find any negative comments for constructive feedback. I'll try to continue to provide quality work. I'm glad you liked the nod to Bucky's knife flipping in the winter soldier. I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that and it made me so happy that you did!

Rach

xoxo