Chapter 11: Preparing for the Worst

The time following Anna volunteering to go to the frontlines was a blur of legal paper work and a private briefing with Colonel Phillips on what to expect. She'd be shipping off with the next truckload of soldiers in the next few days.

"Find someone to show you how to handle a gun. Can't have you not knowing how to defend yourself if necessary," Colonel Phillips ended the briefing, handing Anna boots and a folded up uniform: brown pants and an olive colored pullover shirt. The same that the men wore except she had a red-cross band to wear on her upper arm. She needed to blend in from a distance so the enemy wouldn't target the person mending the soldiers, but also be distinguishable as medical personal to their soldiers.

All in all, Anna was a little overwhelmed, and she hadn't even stepped foot on the battle field yet. Colonel Phillips hadn't asked if she had any questions, not that she'd be able to think of any at the moment. He was a very blunt man. Stepping out of the Colonel's tent, Anna found James waiting for her. She hadn't even had time to think what she would say to him. There had been no time to think about the consequences of her actions until now.

"I don't know what to say," Anna admitted as she approached James. "I'm not sure why I volunteered."

"I do," Bucky murmured, stepping closer to Anna. "Because you're brave, and kind, and you try to save everyone else without thinking of yourself. You did it for all the reasons I like you, and that's why I'm conflicted. It would be selfish of me to be mad at you. But to tell you I don't wish you'd let him send King in instead would be a lie."

"Dr. King would care more about staying alive than helping the soldiers." Sending him in wouldn't result in less soldiers dying.

"That's what scares me the most. You won't be looking out for yourself at all. You'll only be worried about the injured." The thought of Ace on the frontlines had Bucky's stomach dropping, feeling as though a grenade was in there weighing it down and waiting to blow him to bits.

"I'm sure I have more self-preservation than you give me credit for," Anna murmured.

"When do you ship out?" As much as he wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, he needed to prepare himself for the inevitable. She'd signed papers, there was no way for her to back out now, if she even wanted to.

"They're sending out some more troops in a few days. I ride out with them. Colonel Phillips wants me to learn how to use a gun. Know anyone who'd be interested in helping me?"

"I do," Bucky smiled wanly. At least he had a few more days with her safe at base, and a few days to make sure she could defend herself out there.

…

Howard waited for Anna in her tent. She'd just set the uniform on her cot when he wrapped her in a tight hug. He held on tighter, longer than he'd ever hugged her before. When he finally pulled back, he looked like he'd been crying. His eyes were puffy and a little bloodshot.

"Why do you have to be the moral one?" He knew the second Colonel Phillips asked for a medical volunteer Anna would step forward. Just like she volunteered to help the army right out of med school when no one else had stepped up to the plate. She was always ready to help out when needed.

"One of us as to be," Anna retorted with a wavering smile.

"You can't die out there, Anna Banana. Father will be beside himself. And who will entertain all my crazy invention talk." Howard couldn't imagine his life without Anna in it. At only two years apart, he'd spent his whole life with Anna following after him.

"You know I hate making empty promises. I can't guarantee anything." There was a very high chance she could be carted off the field dead or injured. It was all just luck and chance out there. Of course she'd try her hardest to stay alive. She wasn't ready to die yet, and bleeding out on a battlefield wasn't exactly how she wanted to go.

"And you know how much I love empty promises. They put me at ease and prolong any disappointment or suffering," Howard countered, trying to rein in the tears at the thought of Anna not coming back. If she believed it a possibility, it was hard for even him to deny it.

"I promise I'll come back," Anna whispered, causing Howard to smile and pull her in for another hug. She didn't feel bad about that promise. She never said she'd come back alive.

…

Bucky returned to his tent after talking with Anna, collapsing on his cot. His whole body felt drained of energy ever since Colonel Phillips announced he had to send a medic to the frontlines. He didn't want her to go. He knew how bad the battlefield was, how it could chip away at your soul with every bullet and grenade. Bucky didn't want that for Anna.

"So, how'd it go with Anna?" Adams prodded. Last he knew, Bucky was looking to talk with Anna about their kiss. At this point he was kind of invested in their unofficial relationship.

"She agreed to be my girl," Bucky said, his lips turning up into a small smile. Even with everything that had happened afterwards, he couldn't help but feel giddy at her accepting him.

"Then why do you look so put out?" McKenzie asked. Instead of beaming and bouncing off the walls happy, Bucky slouched on his cot.

"There's been orders for a medic to be sent to the front lines. Anna volunteered to be the one who goes."

Adams let out a long whistle.

"That's rotten luck," Adams lamented. "You and Anna finally get together and she's the one shipping out."

"Suppose it'd be above King to go. He was probably relieved Anna volunteered so he didn't have to experience any real action." McKenzie could picture King sniveling on the battle field, pissing himself out of fear. As much as he didn't like the thought of Anna going, he had to admit she would handle it a lot better than King.

"When do you have to say your goodbyes?"

Bucky hadn't even thought about saying goodbye to Anna. Watching her climb into a truck and have it fade into the dark. Not knowing if she'd come back.

"I'm not letting her ship out alone," Bucky said. He had to be on that truck with her.

"You're volunteering to go back to that before we have to?" Adams knew Bucky liked the girl, but that was a little extreme. No one in their right mind would voluntarily go back to the hell that was the frontlines.

"A part of me will be on the battlefield if she goes and I stay." It's not like he'd be able to do anything but worry while at camp if Anna was out there alone. At least if he was out there with her he'd know she was still alive. He could help her stay alive.

"My god, you love her," McKenzie said rising from lounging on his cot.

"Don't let Phillips know, he'll never let you go with her," Adams chimed in before Bucky could respond to McKenzie. "We're supposed to be focused on fighting the Germans, not protecting pretty girls."

"Who says I can't do both?" Even when he said it, he knew it was a lie. With Ace on that battlefield, he'd constantly be tracking where she was, moving to defend. McKenzie was right, it was best Colonel Phillips didn't know the extent of his feelings towards Anna.

…

Standing in the middle of an empty field, far away from camp to avoid the chance of Anna misfiring and hurting someone, Bucky prepared to teach Anna how to properly, and safely, shoot a gun. He'd collected old tins from the cook's tent earlier and lined them up on makeshift tables of wood and logs around the empty field. It was the best he could do for targets on such short notice.

"Rule number one, never look into the muzzle of your gun or point it at anyone but the enemy. Even if it's not loaded. We don't need to help the Axis win," Bucky instructed as he handed Anna a pistol.

"How do I load it?" Anna asked, studying the weapon in her hand. She tried hard to stop herself from shaking. The reality of her decision hadn't hit her until then. She'd never held a gun before, let alone shot one. Unless you counted the toy guns Howard and her would play with when they were little. But those were fake. They couldn't hurt anyone. This pistol could kill someone. Taking a life was a lot different and harder than saving one.

Stepping closer, Bucky began slowly pointing to each part of the gun and explaining what it was and its purpose. He also showed her how to load ammunition. It took her a few tries to load it properly, but she finally managed.

"Alright, now what?" Anna asked when she clicked the magazine back into place.

"Now you practice firing it." She needed to get used to the sound, smell, and feel of shooting a gun. It would limit any mishaps on the battlefield.

"Can I practice on Corporal Fitch?" Anna joked, sending Bucky a sly smile that had him chuckling.

"As chauvinistic as he is, he's a decent soldier. At the very least he's extra canon fodder for the Axis. Besides you need to work up to moving targets."

"You mean the Axis won't stand still for me?" Anna joked again. She'd adopted the habit of making a joke when she didn't understand something from Howard.

"Unfortunately not. Now, I want you to take a shot at that can." Bucky pointed at one of the closer cans.

"Aren't you supposed to show me how to shoot?" Anna could shoot at cans all day, and without any training, never hit one of them.

"I will. I want to see what we're working with first. Who knows, maybe you have a natural talent for it."

Anna highly doubted she had any innate shooting ability, but she humored James all the same. Taking a stance, she raised her arm, and focused on the can. It was only about ten yards away, there was a slight possibility she could hit it. Feigning confidence, as she had no idea if she was actually aiming it, she took a chance. After a moment hesitation, her finger squeezed the trigger. The bang from the gun was louder than she anticipated, and the smoke had her coughing a little.

James studied Anna closely as she set up to fire the gun. From her stance, to the small tremor in her arm as she raised the gun and prepared to shoot. Her finger twitched before she pulled the trigger, closing her eyes a second before firing. It was apparent that, when it came to firing a gun, she was intensely uncomfortable.

"You need to tighten your stance," Bucky instructed, demonstrating how wide the feet should be. "Now which eye is your dominant eye?"

"My right?" Anna guessed. She'd never thought about having a dominant eye, but she was right handed so it made sense her dominant eye would match her dominant hand.

"That's the one you'll use to sight your target. Keep your left eye closed when you fire. Only your left," Bucky added, remembering how Anna had closed both eyes. "If you close both you have no idea what you'll hit. Even if your aim was accurate beforehand, it could move drastically when firing if you shut your eyes."

"Keep one eye open at all times got it," Anna murmured, blushing at the reminder she'd stupidly closed her eyes before firing the gun last time.

"Use the sights on the gun to line up your shot, but when you're firing focus on the front sight." Most soldiers made the mistake of focusing on the target instead, which decreased their accuracy.

"I'm not supposed to focus on the target?" It seemed like it would be common sense to look at the thing you're shooting at.

"You're focusing on the front sight because it lets you know what your gun's position is relative to the target. You should still see the target, it should just be a little blurry. You'll have a higher chance of hitting your target if you focus on the front sight."

"Alright," Anna agreed. That time she set herself up as James had instructed. Closing her left eye, she focused on the front sight and fired.

"Much better," Bucky commented when she hit the stump below the can. He let her fire off a few more rounds before stopping her a second time.

"You're still hesitating, and it's causing your hand to shake just a bit, throwing off your aim," Bucky commented, moving to stand behind her. Reaching out he placed his hand under her wrist, steadying her hand. "Just remember, out there, it's you or them. If you don't shoot, they will. So please, don't hesitate."

James' breath tickled Anna's neck, making a shiver run down her whole body. He was close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating off his body. His light grip on her wrist burned her skin, not painful, but demanding her attention just the same.

"I need to get out of my head and not hesitate." Anna's voice came out as a hoarse whisper before she cleared her throat. "Got it."

At her assurance, James stepped back so she could try again. Taking a steadying breath, Anna willed herself not to hesitate. That's all she could do, as it wasn't exactly a conscious hesitation. Aiming her pistol, Anna set up the shot before firing. There was a flat plink as the bullet hit the tin can through the very top. She'd aimed for the center of the can, but at least she'd hit the thing.

"I did it," Anna breathed out with a smile.

"Congratulations Ace," Bucky said. "I think we should end on a good note." Taking the gun from her, he put the safety on before sliding it into the holster.

"Thank you." Anna turned towards James, finding him closer than she anticipated. "You're a good teacher. Very patient."

"Nothing's more important to me right now than making sure you can defend yourself," Bucky whispered, keeping his gaze on Anna.

Reaching out for James' hand, Anna reached up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Should we go eat?" Anna asked, acting as if her kissing him out of the blue was the most natural thing, making Bucky smile.

"I'll meet you there, I have to meet with Phillips first," Bucky said, squeezing Ace's hand before letting her go.

…

"Excuse me sir, can I have a word?" Bucky asked, poking his head in the flap of the Colonel's temporary office.

"Sure, but make it quick son," Phillips' said, barely looking up from the map on his desk. "What's your name?"

"Sargent Barnes, sir," Bucky said, coming to stand before the Colonel's desk.

"And what do you need Sargent?"

"I wanted to request I ship out with the next platoon, sir." Bucky had never said 'sir' so many times in one conversation, but he thought being extra polite would help his cause.

Colonel Phillips' head snapped up at his request, his eyes narrowing as he studied the soldier before him. He didn't understand why any man would voluntarily go back to the frontlines before he was ordered to. At least he didn't until he recognized where he'd seen the soldier before.

"I know you. You're the soldier who was holding hands with the medic I'm sending out there, right?" He recalled the doctor coming in late to the mandatory meeting holding the hand of a dark haired soldier.

"Yes, sir." Bucky had hoped the Colonel wouldn't recall that part. He had wanted to keep Ace out of this meeting. "But it won't affect my performance on the field. I promise. So, can I go?"

"Shit I don't care. If you're dumb enough to rush back into battle for a girl I'll sign off on it." Colonel Phillips didn't really care what soldiers did on their down time, or who they did it with, as long as they were ready to fight when it was necessary.

"It's not for a girl," Bucky started to defend himself, but Phillips rose his hand to stop him.

"Don't do us both the dishonor of lying to me. If she wasn't shipping out you'd want to stay here with her. I know a lovesick boy when I see one. I already said I don't care. You can go."

Bucky was about to thank him, but Colonel Phillips just talked over him.

"Just try not to die out there. I'm all for sending more soldiers out, but I don't want them all to come back with dog tags around their toes."

"I'll do my best, sir." Bucky let out a heavy sigh. He hadn't been sure he'd get the okay to ship out.

"If I hear one more sir out of you I'm going to rethink this order. Now go find your girl and tell her the good news," Colonel Phillips grumbled, watching the young Sargent leave with a shake of his head. The battlefield was no place for love, but if it lit a fire under his men's asses he wasn't one to forbid it.

A/N I'm back! I'm not sure why it takes me so long to write this and Relentless. Maybe it's because I know how much you guys have grown to love these characters and I want to right by you and them. Whereas my new stories I don't feel as much pressure, yet. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this installment. FYI for those who don't know yet, I have an Instagram dedicated to my fanfiction stories where I post aesthetics and sometimes instastories of how the planning process is going for them. If you're interested my username is the same on there as it is here: gracelesslyfalling. Thank you to everyone who continues to read this story, favorite/follow, and review. It means so much to me that you're all enjoying it.

Now onto guest review responses:

To the guest who said where I ended the last chapter was a good stopping point: thank you! I felt it was a nice place to stop. Keep you wanting to know more, but also giving you a clear ending to a chapter. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Jo: Glad you're still loving the story. Thanks for continuing to support my stories, it means so much. I'm happy to keep providing you with feels.

Stormgirl92: It always means so much when someone comments on my writing style. Because though Marvel owns most of the content in my stories, my style is uniquely mine. To know you like it means a lot.

Chelsie: Thanks for all your suggestions on how to have Anna continue on to the future. I love readers giving suggestions and feedback and theories. It means a lot that you're so invested in the story that you've thought of how it could move forward from here.

Pam: Hello again dear friend. I'm glad you loved how mushy the last chapter was. I had such a fund time thinking of how James would ask Anna to be 'his girl' and I'm so glad you like the final product. An ahh I'm so excited that you imagined Tommy Lee Jones' saying Phillips lines because I tried to channel his character while writing that scene. I love how he played Colonel Phillips. Hopefully you continue to hear him in his parts in this chapter. I wish I could give you James, but Marvel unfortunately owns him. I'm just borrowing him for a little while I write this story. Thanks for always reviewing and letting me know what you think of the chapters!

Breezy: Thank you It's so nice to hear you like the story and think it's good. I'll try to continue writing it well.

Taylor: Hello, nice to see you on this story! Thank you for giving it a chance and letting me know you're enjoying it. You're compliment on my writing made me smile. It means a lot when readers not only like the plot but also how I'm writing it stylistically.

Rach

xoxo