(Here's Chapter 3! Just wanted to check in with an author's note. The ages of the kids are as stated in the first chapter's blog post. I know Henry and Michael are seven years apart in the series, but I needed them closer together so that JJ wouldn't be having babies at like 60 lol. There will be language in this fic. I'll try to remember to post an AN if the F word will be included in a chapter, but everything else is pretty much to be expected. I hope you all like this story, I have some exciting stuff planned!)

(Oh, also there's discussion about puberty and masturbation in this chapter.)

Lots of LaMontagnes

Well the whole 'don't tell any of the kids yet' plan lasted exactly four days. I had been working so hard to come to terms with the fact we were having thirteen, I accidentally let it slip at the dinner table. It was pandemonium. Surprisingly, Henry took it the hardest. I had just assumed that when you're the oldest of twelve, one more sibling wouldn't phase you. I was wrong.

We talked it out and he's doing better. But I'm going to definitely be checking in with him a bit more. I forget that just because he's my oldest and nearing graduation, doesn't mean he doesn't need his Momma.

I'm not having a ton of morning sickness, which I am overjoyed about. I think that means it's a girl, but I guess we'll just have to see!

"Okay, everyone out!" Will had the weekend off, so we'd decided to capitalize on that by taking a family day. Our first stop was unfortunately the shoe store.

I hated shoe shopping. For the most part, clothes could be passed from kid to kid. I'd become an old pro at getting even the most stubborn of stains out of their tee shirts and pants. And once we had thrown away the idea that boys and girls needed different clothing, it had saved us an incredible amount of money. But shoes wore down so quickly. As much as I would try to stretch out their wear time, it seemed like someone always had a pair that was in tatters. Thus, the shoe store.

I took Hazel out of her car seat and Michael gave me a hand in getting her strapped into her carrier. Will was already chasing Ethan, Oliver, and Max across the parking lot, calling for them to please wait. I did a quick head count as we walked towards the store, making sure someone hadn't accidentally been left in the van. I wondered briefly if other moms had that worry.

When we made it inside, I saw the looks of dread cross the sales clerks faces. I knew they couldn't help it anymore than I could help the fact that we needed at least a dozen pairs of shoes, but I still felt the little sting of shame blossom in my stomach.

"Good morning!" I called.

The older one stepped forward. "Hey, can we help you find anything today?"

I gave him a smile. "We're going to need quite a few sizes pulled, but I think I'll need to look around first."

"Okay, well my name is Elijah, just let me know."

"Thank you." I turned my attention back to my brood. "Okay, you guys know the deal! Inside voices, you can look but if you start pulling things off the shelves then you're going to have to sit on the bench and I get to pick out your shoes." I snagged Ethan as he ran by. "C'mon little man, let's find you some tennis shoes."

Several hours went by, and the stack of shoes behind the counter slowly grew higher and higher. As I went to check Henry's new basketball shoes off the list, I noticed I still didn't have a pair for Max.

"Max? Kait, have you seen Max?" She shook her head and blew a bubble with her gum. I took a deep breath as I began checking each aisle. He had to be here somewhere.

Finally, back by the women's high heels I found him sitting on a woman's lap, talking animatedly.

"Max!"

He looked up at me and gave me a wide smile. "Momma I made a friend!"

"I see that." I turned my attention to her. "I'm so sorry, I hope he hasn't been bothering you."

"Oh no, he's a sweetheart!" She sat him down and he ran over, wrapping his arms around my leg.

"That's our Max," I smiled.

"And who's this little cutie pie?" She walked over and stroked a finger along the back of Hazel's hand.

"This is Hazel. Can you say hi?" I turned so that she could see the baby better.

"What beautiful babies!"

"Thank you, we're pretty lucky."

She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "And so much better behaved than most of the other kids in this store. Of course you can't blame the kids, not when there's that many. I'm sure they're the work of some high school dropouts, probably popping out more and more kids so they can play the food stamps system."

My jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"Oh you know how it is. These white trash families, having babies like rabbits, living off government handouts, being supported by the rest of us who work hard and have the common sense to use birth control." She rolled her eyes heavily.

I swallowed hard against the angry words anxiously making their way to the tip of my tongue. "We need to go." I grabbed Max's hand.

"Mommy, Jonathon took my hair bow and he won't give it back!" Sophia was standing at the end of aisle, her hands on her hips.

"Okay, I'm coming." I turned on the woman and made my way back to where the bulk of our family was gathered. I knew of course that people had unfair preconceptions about families with a lot of children, but it wasn't every day that I got to hear someone talk so honestly about what they thought of us.

As I retrieved Sophia's hair bow from her brother and returned it, I tried to push the woman's comments from my mind. She didn't know us. She didn't know what he had been through. Our family was our business, not hers.

"What are we missing, Jayje?" Will asked.

"Did Eva get new flats?"

"I did! They're bright purple, and I'm going to wear them to school on Monday!" she gushed.

"Alright. Let me get Max some sneakers and we'll be done." I took a deep breath and led him back to the boys' shoes. It wouldn't do to dwell on the opinions of others. I told my kids as much all the time, but it was decidedly harder to convince myself.

We had a dinner reservation at a pizza restaurant near the house. I knew better than to just show up with all of our kids and expect a restaurant to be able to accommodate us. They needed the time to plan accordingly.

We were escorted to a long table towards the back of the restaurant, already set up with booster seats and a high chair, with plenty of crayons to go around.

"This is perfect, thank you so much!" I told the hostess.

"Sure thing! Molly will be your server, she'll be back in just a second."

We got everyone settled and strapped in. A few minutes later Molly, a cute girl who was probably in her last year of high school, came back. "Alright, what can I get everyone to drink?"

I gave her the drink orders for all of the littles and she went around getting everyone else's. Across the table, I saw Ben tap on Will's shoulder. "Dad, can I have a sprite?"

"Sure buddy. Just tell her."

"No, can you?"

"What? No, Oliver!" He pushed the pitcher of water out of the toddler's reach.

"Can you order it for me?"

"Ben, you're more than old enough to order for yourself."

"I know, but…" His face was distressed, but he didn't say anything else. Just then, Molly put a hand on his shoulder.

"What can I get you to drink?" He turned to look at her, and she gave him a smile

"I… um, I want…" He swallowed thickly, his eyes darting back to the table. "I, um just… water," he finally mumbled.

"Alright!" She moved on to take Will's order.

"I thought you waned Sprite?" I asked.

He shook his head, his eyes not leaving the tablecloth. "No."

I didn't give the interaction much thought until she came back several minutes later with our drinks. Violet refused to drink any of her soda due to it having ice. "I'm so sorry, I should have told you no ice for her, can we possibly get another one?" I asked.

"Of course!" She leaned between Ben and Kaitlyn to grab Vi's cup and his eyes seemed drawn to her butt without his own permission. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Somebody has it hot for the waitress…" Michael teased after she had retreated to grab the new soda.

Ben's face paled. "What? No!"

Will grinned. "Is that so?"

"No!"

"You have good taste, Ben, she's very pretty." Will nudged him with his elbow and Ben's shoulders crept towards his ears, obviously very embarrassed.

"Will." He glanced up at me and I gave him a pointed look. "Leave him alone," I mouthed.

"Aw we're just teasing you, Ben. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." He tried to put his arm around his shoulders but Ben shrugged away.

"I have to go to the bathroom." We both watched him make his way to the restrooms.

Michael elbowed Henry. "He probably needs to go-"

"That's enough, Michael," Will warned.

"Need to go what?" asked Sophia.

"To the bathroom," I answered firmly. "Now what kinds of pizza do we want?"

"So I guess Benjamin has officially discovered girls." I squeezed toothpaste onto my toothbrush.

"It would seem so."

"Feels kinda early, doesn't it?"

Will shrugged. "Not necessarily. I think Henry was on the late bloomer side of things. I think Michael was just really good at hiding it."

"I don't want them to tease him too much. He's… I don't know, more shy than Henry and Michael. I'm afraid they're going to make it a thing and then he's going to feel like he can't talk to anyone. That's one of the best parts about having older siblings, they're someone you can talk to when it's weird to talk to your parents. I remember going to Ros for all kinds of things before she-" I broke off. It had been so many years, and for the most part I felt as if I had finally come to peace with what had happened. But it was never something I loved talking about. "I don't want them to make it a super big deal," I reiterated.

Will came up behind me, rubbing my shoulders as I began brushing my teeth. "I'll talk to them, but I think it's all in good fun. When it comes down to it, you know any of our kids would throw down for their siblings."

I nodded, spitting in the sink. "I know."

He concentrated on a knot at the base of my neck. "This probably means we'll need to rethink room assignments, though."

"Why?"

"If Ben's discovering girls then he's probably about to discover… other things that go along with that."

I wrinkled my nose. "He's eleven!"

He shrugged and smiled at me through the mirror. "I know. But it's probably coming."

"Really? I didn't start masturbating till I was like… I don't know. Sixteen?"

"Yes, but you're a girl. It's very different for boys."

I turned to face him. "When did you start?"

He thought about it. "Twelve? Maybe thirteen?"

"That's crazy."

"It's normal, I think." He wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me closer. "The first times were not great. It takes a while to get the hang of it."

I laughed. "You're preaching to the choir. It's even harder for girls."

"Is that so?" I nodded. "But you got pretty good at it?"

I laughed. "Well if I had waited around for a boy to get me off I wouldn't have had an orgasm until college."

He pulled me even closer and began to sneak little kisses along my jaw. "You wanna show me?"

"Show you what?" I teased.

"Show me what you learned." He hit the spot just behind my ear that always made me shiver.

"Ah… I'm pretty out of practice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I ended up finding someone who takes care of that for me." I cupped his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss.

"You outsourced? Smart," he mumbled against my lips, making me laugh.

"I guess you could call it that."

He scooped me into his arms bridal style, making me squeal. "What are you doing?"

He gave me another kiss and carried me into our bedroom. "I want to make sure you remember the basics."