I'd like to try navigating a new city.

0o0o0o

Feliciano first started hearing the rumours from Arthur. Alfred had enthusiastically invited him over during lunch, and Feliciano liked to draw the people sitting around the table.

'Beilschmidt's gotten into more trouble,' Arthur said one day, and the table echoed in agreement.

'Heard he ditched again.'

'Hell, he's going to get caught. I feel bad for his little brother.'

'Feliciano, you know them, don't you?' someone finally asked.

Feliciano nodded. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing.

'Gilbert Beilschmidt ditched his classes again,' a boy a few years older on the far end told him. Feliciano racked his brain and remembered he was called Toris. He had long brown hair and slightly sad eyes, and Feliciano liked drawing him.

'Why?'

Looks were passed around the table. Toris' friend scoffed and leaned forward.

'He's going to see someone, obviously. Like, why else would he be doing that?'

'You sound like you've snuck out of school before, Feliks.' Toris said.

'Well, yeah, I have.' Feliks tossed his hair and sent a glance Feliciano's way. Feliciano pushed his food around. He wasn't hungry anymore. All he could think of was the way Ludwig looked when Gilbert fought, and how Gilbert never seemed to stop doing it.

Feliks cleared his throat and looked around.

'Like, who wants my dessert today? I'm not hungry.'

'Me!' Alfred shouted. Feliks tossed it over and slid next to Feliciano in the scuffle.

'What's wrong?' he asked.

'Nothing,' Feliciano said quickly. 'I just didn't know he did that.'

'You expected it, though. Didn't you.' It wasn't a question. Feliks flashed a quick smile, but his eyes were sad. 'I know Francis, we go way back, and I know that Gilbert's been doing some stuff, so if you like, ever want to talk, and not just about him, I know some people. We all get together and like...take a break.' His voice had dropped to a murmur, and Feliciano had a feeling what he was being told was precious information.

'I'm just worried about him,' Feliciano confessed. Feliks glanced back at Toris, and real pain flashed through his eyes.

'He'll find a way. We all do, in the end.' He stood up. 'Just don't mention Gilbert to Toris. They had a bad experience,' he said offhandedly.

'Thank you,' Feliciano said honestly. 'For offering to talk, because I'm worried, and is he really going to turn out okay?'

'He'll turn out or he'll be turned out,' Feliks said. His lips peeled back for a second in a sad snarl before he sat down. For the first time, Feliciano saw the bruises on his arms.

0o0o0o

Ludwig was home alone, and Feliciano knew because he saw him through the downstairs windows. He rung the doorbell, and the split-second of the closed-off expression Ludwig put on when he opened the door before he realized it was him hurt in the way empathy did.

'Ludwig, are you okay?'

'I'm fine.' Ludwig looked exhausted and drained as he let him in. His blue eyes looked faded, and the ache that had been building in Feliciano's heart not just since Gilbert had left school but since the very first time he knew Gilbert fought burst out of him.

'You aren't fine. You're never fine anymore, Ludwig, and that's-that's okay, because the way Gilbert argues with your grandfather isn't fine, and it's okay to be scared. I'm scared. I'm scared that Gilbert is going to do something really stupid.'

Ludwig was staring at him, and Feliciano thought that maybe he should think before he said things, but he couldn't stop all his burning emotions around Ludwig.

'I'm sorry,' Feliciano said.

'Don't be sorry.' Ludwig leaned back suddenly and took a sharp breath. His hands were clenched into fists. 'You're right. You're right, I'm scared of all of that but right now I'm scared because Gilbert-Gilbert hasn't come back.'

'What?'

'He always came back before. He'd skip a class and come back an hour later, and I'd see him huddled behind the bleachers putting his flute away. If he saw me, he'd say not to tell anyone, and so I haven't. Or I haven't until you.' Ludwig said the last part strangely, and Feliciano couldn't understand it enough. He focused on the rest.

'He's definitely going to the concert hall, then?'

Ludwig nodded once. His hands were white-knuckled. 'But he hasn't come back at all now, and Feliciano, I'm scared he might not. That's he's just-gone.'

'He has to come back.' A strange, ugly fury ignited in Feliciano's chest, out of all the sharp, helpless pain of seeing Ludwig like this. 'He can't just leave. He's your big brother, it's his duty to take care of you. He hasn't been doing that at all, has he?'

'He's busy,' Ludwig said quietly, but his lip curled.

'You need to talk to him when he comes back,' Feliciano insisted. 'I can be there too, if you want. Even if I'm not very strong, I'll be there for you.'

'I will.' Ludwig straightened up. 'I'm going to talk to him alone, and if he doesn't carry through on his promise to do better again, I want you.'

'Again?' Feliciano asked.

'He promises he'll stop fighting all the time.' Ludwig laughed bitterly, and Feliciano hated the sound in his voice, so different from his normal laugh. Feliciano realized with a start that except for in their talks across their windows, he never saw Ludwig smile anymore.

'I'm sorry,' was all he could say. It went much deeper than for failed promises. Ludwig brushed his hand underneath the table and gave him a faint smile. It was enough for now.

After a few minutes, Feliciano remembered what Feliks had told him.

'Feliks told me there's a place he goes to where people talk.' He wasn't sure how to convey the absolute surety that it was more than it seemed. 'That it's a place to take a break, and that if I ever wanted to talk about Gilbert…'

'Do you think the place knows how to make Gilbert stay?'

'Maybe.' It was a scrap of hope, and Feliciano grabbed at it. 'I'll ask tomorrow if Feliks can take us if Gilbert isn't back.'

'Even if he is.'

'Even if he is,' Feliciano agreed. They deserved answers.

0o0o0o

Gilbert didn't come back that night. Vati was quieter than usual during dinner, and even though it hadn't been in his resolution, Ludwig decided to talk to him. Feliciano made him different and pulled some strange courage from him. Feliciano made him fearless.

'Do you know where Gilbert is?'

'In a bus station downtown.'

That surprised him. 'If you know where he is, why isn't he here?'

'He refused to leave when I found him. I told him to come back when he wanted.' Vati turned and fixed him with his stare, and Ludwig's already-scrambled thoughts about standing up scattered. 'He will come back. He won't leave you.'

'What do you mean?' Ludwig asked. The words sounded small and scared even to him.

'If you weren't here, he would have left a long time ago. He's been telling me for years.'

'Oh.' Ludwig felt vulnerable being the only link Gilbert had to here. He shouldn't be responsible for keeping his family together. He was the reason they'd had to leave the West, and then the reason they had to move here. It was his fault.

'He'll be back,' Vati said. Ludwig couldn't decide whether he said it to reassure himself or not.

'Gilbert won't really run away.'

Vati didn't answer for a long time. When he did, all he said was, 'He's almost eighteen.'

0o0o0o

'Gilbert is staying for me.'

Feliciano looked up in shock, golden eyes reflecting the moonlight glassily.

'Your grandfather said that?'

'Gilbert had told him that if I wasn't here, he would have left a long time.' Ludwig wanted to collapse. He'd thrown his weights around for what must have been an hour before he tried to wake Feliciano, and now he was sore and dizzy. He didn't know what to feel. 'Feliciano, I'm not a good enough reason to stay.'

'Never say that again.' Feliciano was on his feet in a second, balancing between the ledges of their roofs. Ludwig's stomach twisted further in fear.

Feliciano dropped to his knees beside him, all brightness and creation and the way his skin felt tangled all his emotions up further.

'Feliciano-'

'You're a good enough reason for anyone.' Feliciano held him close. 'I promise. I'd stay here just for you, even if I was allowed to go back to Venice. Ludwig, when we're older we're going to Europe, and Gilbert won't have run away. Everything will be okay.'

When Feliciano said that to him, he could almost believe it. He believed everything up to everything being okay.

'Promise me,' he rasped.

'I promise,' Feliciano said. Ludwig closed his eyes and wondered where his brother was.

0o0o0o

Feliciano found Lovino sneaking back through his window when he went back to bed. They both froze, guilty evidence written across their faces and in their hands. Feliciano was still wearing his cap and the dust of roof tiles on his feet, and Lovino was covered in grass stains. They realized at the same time how little of each other they'd seen recently.

'I won't tell Nonno if you don't,' Lovino finally said.

'Where were you?' Feliciano asked.

'I got the grass stains by the church,' Lovino said.

'Where else did you go?'

'You don't care who I was with?' Lovino asked.

'You were with Antonio,' Feliciano said promptly. 'Because you're friends and he's who you go to when you think too much, and that's why I haven't seen you around.'

Lovino gaped at him before scoffing. 'Downtown.'

'Why were you downtown?'

'There was a party.' Lovino pointed down the hallway. 'It was nothing you need to worry about. Go to bed, or I'll tell Nonno-' Lovino cast for anything. 'I'll tell him about Ludwig.'

Ludwig didn't need more problems, but the threat still shook Feliciano in a way he couldn't fully understand. 'Don't. Please.'

'Then get out.'

0o0o0o

Gilbert still hadn't come back in the morning, and the fear in Ludwig's eyes cemented Feliciano's decision to ask about the place to talk. Unfortunately, Feliks wasn't at school the next day.

'He had a run-in with some people who he knew,' Toris said quietly at lunch.

'Did they-'

'He's not in the hospital. He just decided to stay home.' Toris stabbed at his food. 'Don't tell anybody what really happened, Feliciano. He wanted me to tell you so you understood, but his story is that he crashed on his bike.'

'Why would he lie?'

Toris looked at him with his sad eyes and shook his head. Francis' words echoed through his head, and Feliciano grabbed his arm.

'Wait. Was it because of-of the graffiti?'

'Francis told you.'

'Yes.'

Toris muttered something like a prayer. Feliciano's thoughts were jerky, but he faintly remembered all the things that he'd found since coming to America, and Ludwig's blue eyes.

All the things Feliciano didn't quite understand that he'd wished with some deep part of him to be included in-the wall and the promises to change the world and Ludwig, always Ludwig.

'The group-will it give me answers?'

'What answers are you looking for?' Toris asked steadily.

What answers were he looking for? The simplest kind.

'I want to know if I'm who I think I am.'

'We all do,' Toris said. Feliciano waited, the world hanging in the balance. Toris finally sighed.

'I'll call Feliks.'

0o0o0o

I'd like to see the new ways the streets align and the people move.

:: Old framed pictures that have always hung the same way