"Grainne." I heard the voice calling to me quietly, masculine, deep and sensuous, a voice that seemed familiar and not. I was standing on Mount Seleya, just at the edge of the altar. A warm breeze pulled the veil from my hair, the wind strengthened, swirling my hair around my face. I looked down and saw that I was still wearing my blue gown. "Grainne," he called again. "Come to me, come to the altar."
I moved forward as if I was being carried on the breeze. The smell of Vulcan incense hovered all around, as I reached the altar the wind became even stronger. In the lightning flash, I saw there was a figure standing between the colossal stones on the far side, the braziers suddenly ignited, focusing my sight on him, he was mostly in shadow, standing completely still, almost as if it was a spirit and not a man.
"Come Grainne, come to me," he called again. I moved the base of the stairs below the concealed figure. The figure held out one hand, a very masculine hand, "Come to the stone, lie upon it." I climbed the steps and laid on the altar stone. "I will not hurt you. Close your eyes."
I closed my eyes, lightning flashed again, and thunder followed this time. Suddenly I felt him near me, a warm presence, I dropped my mental barrier but could not read who he was. As his warm hand touched my face he whispered, "Become the vessel, open your mind to me," his other hand grazed the skin of my exposed shoulder, I shuddered, the sensual energy emanating from his hands flowed through me and seemed to pool in my core, heating the altar stone and awakening the nerves in every place he touched me. I tried to open my eyes, but he placed his hand gently over them. "My mind to your mind…"
I awoke in my own bed, tangled in the sheets, I still felt the caress of his hands on my body, the burning trails of his touch, the smell of the incense lingered. I rose and grabbed my robe and wrapped myself in it. I walked out to my replicator and ordered a cool drink. I glanced at the clock, 4:30 AM earth standard time. Well, I was going to be up soon anyway, so I decided to meditate before starting my day.
That evening I met Jean-Luc in one of the smaller holosuites. When we walked in, we were in a small clearing, surrounded by lavender plants, the smell was amazing. I forgot how much I missed grass and plants. Living on a desert planet has some disadvantages, but I missed Vulcan too. There was a picnic laid out on a blanket in the center of the clearing.
"Oh, Jean-Luc it's perfect."
"I thought you would like it." He led me to the blanket and helped me sit on one of the cushions. "I remember how much you enjoyed picnics and solitude. Here in the holosuite, you will have some peace, it has the same EM radiation as the larger holodeck." He sat on the cushion next to mine.
"Thank you," I leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I have missed this," I whispered, being here, alone with Jean-Luc, even after ten years apart was so comforting, that's one of the things I missed, the comfort of having someone to be with.
Jean-Luc gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. "I have missed you." He smiled, gently caressing my cheek with his hand.
I pulled away confused. Somehow this felt so right and so wrong.
"Is there someone in your life?" he tentatively asked at my withdrawal.
"No, Jean-Luc, I am happy as I am." I paused. "I have no regrets. We both know Vulcan and Starfleet would have pulled us apart in the end. I could never live on a starship, just like you could never live on a planet." I released his hand. "Let's just remember the good times and have some dinner."
He pulled some wrapped sandwiches out of the basket. "Peanut butter and jelly or ham and cheese?"
"You remembered?" I laughed. Some of my favorite Terran foods. "PB&J of course." I took the proffered sandwich, "Did you remember the milk?"
"I could never forget," he handed me a bottle. "You have to have milk with PB&J, everyone knows that."
We ate and talked and laughed. When we were done with our picnic Jean-Luc showed me another surprise. Horseback riding in Acadia National Park from Earth's past. Wow, I wonder if the Federation Ambassador would let us install a holosuite in the Embassy. As we finished our ride I yawned again.
"Wow, I have not had this much fun in a long time. This has been the weirdest vacation ever."
"You said the Ambassador Riax told you it would be more of an adventure."
"True, and now I must venture to my bed." I waited until the hologram dissolved. "This was wonderful, Jean-Luc." I hugged him and walked out the door.
"Grainne." I heard the voice calling to me quietly, masculine, deep and sensuous, a voice that was familiar, but I still could not place it. Again, in my dream, I was standing on Mount Seleya, just at the edge of the altar, I looked around, the braziers were lit, the streams of smoke blowing in the breeze. A warm breeze pulled the veil from my hair, it strengthened as the fabric pulled free, swirling my hair around my face. I looked down and saw that I was wearing my blue gown. "Grainne," he called again. "Come to me, come to the altar."
I moved forward, floating on the breeze. The smell of Vulcan incense hovered. As I reached the altar the wind became even stronger, lightning flashed multiple times, with no thunder accompaniment. I looked up and he was standing between the colossal stones on the far side. The figure was mostly in shadow, standing completely still, almost as if he was a spirit.
"Come Grainne, come to me." The voice called again. I moved to the base of the stairs below the concealed figure. He held out his hand, motioning to the altar stone itself, "Come to the stone, lie upon it." I climbed the steps and laid on the altar stone. "Close your eyes."
I closed my eyes, lightning flashed, and this time thunder followed. I felt him approach, a warm presence, I dropped my mental barrier, he was familiar but still, I could not tell exactly who it was. His hand touched my face, "Become my vessel, open yourself to me." He whispered. His other hand grazed the skin of my exposed shoulder, I shuddered, the sexual energy emanating from his hands flowed through me and began to pool in my chest, it felt as if every nerve ending he touched was exposed. His hand slid down my arm, grazing my wrist, pausing, I could hear our heartbeats synchronizing. I felt a warm breath at my wrist, a gentle kiss. His hand traveled up my arm stopping at my throat, another gentle caress followed by another kiss, the burning increased, my breathing became shallow. I tried to open my eyes, but he placed his hand gently over my face. "My mind to your mind…"
I awoke trembling, and aroused, I could still feel the traces of his hands on my skin. All the bedclothes were scattered on the floor. My pulse was racing, my breathing labored. I have never experienced a dream as sensuous as this, oh I have had sex dreams, who hasn't. But this was deeper than sex, it was a merging of two beings into one. That's when it hit me, the voice I recognized. Ambassador Spock? No, it couldn't be, could it? I dressed in a simple gown and wrapped a shawl around my shoulders, I did not even bother with shoes, I needed to go to him, to talk to him, be with him.
As I walked to Ambassador Spock's quarters, the warmth in my chest began to grow again, like it was in the dream, but steadily stronger, it was pulling me toward him. In all my years on Vulcan, I never experienced anything like this. I felt the Ambassador pulling me to him. As I got closer, I felt as if my skin was scorching, from the inside out, and there was something in his quarters that could quench it if only I made it there. I pulled the shawl off my shoulders and draped it over my arm and quickened my steps.
As I approached the door slid open, the interior was dimly lit by one candle on the table in the central room. I could smell Vulcan incense. I stepped in and the door slid closed behind me, locking.
The door to the Ambassador's bedroom slid open and he stepped out, he raised his hand and caressed my face, his middle finger reaching toward my temple. His hand was radiating warmth, and I felt his mind reach out to mine, I dropped my mental shields and covered his hand with my smaller one.
"Spock?" I breathed his name.
He abruptly turned from me, pulling his hand away, "Grainne…" he ground out my name, "you must leave these quarters." The sudden disconnect was staggering, I moved toward him and grabbed his hand, wanting to feel the burning again. He was breathing heavily and would not look at me. Now that I was close, I could feel his emotions fighting to release; desire, joy, pain, anger, sorrow, and regret.
"You called for me, I know what this is," I replied, just a soft whisper. "Pour your emotions into me, let me be your vessel." He turned to face me so fast at my words that I gasped. I lifted his hand to my cheek, pressing the palm onto my face. "Spock…"
"I could harm you." He winced as his skin made full contact with mine.
"I am not afraid." I moved forward, still holding his hand to my face. "I give myself freely."
He pulled me tight to his chest with his left arm, his right hand cradling my cheek, his hand moving instinctively to begin the mind meld. I felt our heartbeats synchronize, our breathing slowed, the warmth began to spread over my skin again.
"My mind, to your mind" he breathed out, "My thoughts to your thoughts." I felt his mind slip into mine, like a river the emotions poured out. Spock released my face and kissed me. Soon the only emotion was the desire and our aching need for physical release.
I awoke, disoriented for a moment. There was a masculine arm draped over my naked form. Where our skin touched radiated heat, as I turned to look at Spock, I noticed he was watching me, silent and calm. As his gaze captured mine, I could feel the emotions building again. I rolled into his full embrace, this time guiding his hands over my skin, slowly building the bridge between our minds and flesh.
"We must go to Vulcan," he ground out getting up from the bed. "The bond will not be complete until then."
"You want to fully bond with me?" I replied in shock.
"Yes." He replied as he pulled on his robe and exited the sleeping area.
I got up and pulled the sheet around me, unsure of where my gown was. "Was this why you left Romulus, why you asked for me?" I followed him out toward the windows. I sat on the couch, the only light in the room was from the stars.
"No." He stated and sat on a chair near me. "This is not my time." For a moment he looked defeated, confused, and vulnerable. "I do not know why this has come now."
I leaned forward and took one of his hands. He looked up sharply at the contact but did not resist.
"What do you need?" I asked.
"We must go to Vulcan, to my ancestral lands. I will claim you there, to complete our bond." He stated. "We have a few days, but we must go to Vulcan."
"You need to tell Jean-Luc." Spock arched his eyebrow at me, "He will not judge."
He nodded acknowledgment at me and walked to the communication panel.
Before Jean-Luc arrived, I found my gown and put it on, I piled my hair into a messy bun and wrapped my shawl around my shoulders. I sat on the couch; Spock sat on the chair directly across from me. He moved the chair, so we were almost touching but not. I noticed that when Spock and I were not touching I felt his absence strongly, he was a slight echo, but nothing more, it was a very strange feeling.
"You needed to see me?" Jean-Luc asked as he entered Spock's quarters. A strange look crossed his face when he glanced at me seated on Ambassador Spock's couch, disheveled and barefoot in the middle of the night. Then the look was gone, and the Captain was back. Always the diplomat.
"I must go to Vulcan, before the conference. It is a personal matter." Spock emphasized.
"There is no time," Jean-Luc replied.
"I must go to Vulcan," Spock stated again, I could feel his agitation rising to the surface, that was new. "We cannot wait." He said through a clenched jaw.
Jean-Luc looked at me concerned. I shifted subtly on the couch, grazing my knee against Spock's, trying to share some strength. The emotions were building, and I was beginning to feel them in my chest again. This was all so new. I felt him relax a bit from the quick contact.
"Jean-Luc, we must go to Vulcan." I paused, "If you cannot or will not take us, I request that you provide us with a shuttle."
"Grace, what is going on?"
"Jean-Luc, it is a personal matter. Can you do this or not?" I asked.
"If it were anyone else asking, I would say no. But I will make this happen." He stood, "We will find a way to make this work." I stood and followed him toward the door.
"Thank you."
Once Jean-Luc left I turned back to Spock. "What do we do now?" I asked. He was still sitting on the chair, his hands clasped tightly together. "We are going to Vulcan, Jean-Luc will see to it."
"I must meditate." He stated plainly as he stood, coming toward me. "You must return to your quarters and rest."
"Yes, Ambassador," I replied softly.
"Spock." He requested as he touched my hand.
"Spock," I whispered.
The communication panel beeped. I was sitting on the couch in my quarters, unsure about what was happening, about to happen, how my life changed so radically in the space of 24 hours. Was I about to be bonded for life to Spock? I stood and touched the panel. "Yes?"
"We have arrived at Vulcan. Please come to Transporter room 2." The voice replied.
When I walked into the transporter room Spock was waiting on the pad. I stepped onto the pad next to him and we were transported to the surface.
We walked into an arena shaped structure. There was a large gong in the center, Spock walked to the center alone and struck the gong once. Once the sound died down, I heard the jingling of bells coming from the opposite side of the structure. I watched as one of the Vulcan High Priestesses was carried in on a litter. She was surrounded by warriors and acolytes. Once the litter bearers placed her chair on the dais opposite the gong Spock went to her and knelt.
"Spock. What brings thee to your ancestral lands?" The High Priestess asked.
Spock looked up at her. "I have come to complete the mating bond, T'Peth, as is my right."
T'Peth placed her hand on his face, and he closed his eyes. She then motioned to me. I approached and knelt next to Spock, she touched my face, I felt her mind slip easily into mine. "This ritual bonding comes down from the time of the beginning, without change. This is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way. Kah-lif-farr."
Spock rose and walked back to the gong and struck it again.
"Rise young one," T'Peth said to me as she released my face. "Join thy mate."
I rose and walked to where Spock was standing. When I reached him, he handed the hammer to me and nodded. I struck the gong and the acolytes began to ring the bells again. Spock took the hammer from my hand and dropped it. He pulled me closer, his right hand seeking my face, with his other hand he lifted my right hand to his cheek. "My mind, to your mind…my thoughts to your thoughts." I felt his mind slip easily into mine and felt my own slip into his. It was unlike any mind meld I ever experienced. I could feel a part of him in me. "Kah-lif-farr." He whispered.
The bells stopped ringing and in my peripheral vision I saw the litter bearers pick up T'Peth, the warriors and acolytes filed in behind her and soon they were all gone. Spock and I were still standing at the gong, our hands on each other's face, completely alone. Spock took one step back and dropped his hand. I could still feel him in my mind, like a small part of him resided within my mind.
"It is part of the bond." He stated.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"I am with you always."I heard Spock's voice in my head. "We go to my ancestral home now."
When we arrived, the house was empty. The rooms were comfortably furnished, I could see the Terran influence of both Amanda and Perrin in the decorations. Spock lit a few candles and motioned for me to be seated on the large couch. When I was seated, he went into another room, I could feel him near, but his mind was silent to me. He returned a few minutes later with a small box. He sat next to me on the couch.
"I have a gift for you." He paused. "It belonged to my mother," he pulled a smooth white stone from the box, it was on a delicate silver chain. He leaned forward and fastened the chain around my neck, it fell just to the cleft between my breasts.
"It's beautiful Spock," I picked up the stone to look at it closer, "what is it?"
"A Terran Moonstone," he replied. "As you know Vulcan has no moons, this reminded Amanda of her home, Earth. Sarek gave it to her on their wedding day."
"Are you sure you want to give this to me?" I asked, awash in emotions, both mine and now I could feel they were Spock's too. I was feeling something different coming from him too. Affection, with a healthy dose of passion thrown in the mix.
"You are my wife." He stated with a hint of a smile. "Two shuttles will come tomorrow morning to take us to Starbase 12. I requested Captain Picard take the Enterprise with the prisoner there to begin preparations."
"Do you need to pack any of your things here?" I asked, not sure what he was trying to tell me.
"No." he paused, caressing my cheek, as he made contact, I could feel him even stronger. "I wish to spend my wedding night with my bride, alone in our home." He took my hand, "come with me."
"This is our home?" I queried,"what about Perrin?"
"She chose to return to her Earth family after Sarek died."Spock led me into a large bedroom."Pon-farr will soon be ended, please lie with me."
I nodded in agreement, yet suddenly embarrassed to disrobe in front of the man I spent the last forty-eight hours with almost exclusively, many of those hours in various stages of undress. I took a deep breath and decided to begin with the necklace, as I reached up to find the clasp, he stopped my hand.
"Please wear this gift, always."
"As you wish, Ambas…Spock."
I woke alone. I could sense Spock nearby, I closed my eyes, concentrating on our bond, he was in the living room seated on the couch. He sensed my inquiry and returned to the bedroom. I sat up in the bed but did not rise. Spock walked in and sat on the bed near me. We sat there for a few moments, an awkward silence between us.
"Was it supposed to be me?" I asked, remembering something he mentioned about the timing.
"You asked me that before, and I cannot lie, I did not choose you, until a few days ago. I believed with my mixed heritage and age that I moved past experiencing pon-farr, it has been many years." He replied. "However, you were the logical choice once it began, I am content with my choice."
"And now that the choice was made, and accepted, where do we go from here?"
"The next few weeks will be difficult." He paused, taking my hand in his. "For we will have to act as if none of this has happened."
"You just said you are content with your choice?" I asked, "Was I was just convenient?"
"No." He replied quickly, "You are now my wife, my consort, but no one should know, for now." He grabbed my other hand. "Use our bond, search my mind, I hold no secrets from you. Just as you hold no secrets from me."
I concentrated for a moment, seeking Spock's memories of me. I saw myself at 15, trembling in a corner, striking out with my hands and lashing out with my mind. I saw him approach me, deftly avoiding the flailing hands, grabbing my arm, lightly touching my face, sharing some comfort, some logic and some of his stoic calm. The memories flipped forward to our encounter at the embassy before he went to Romulus. I could see his curiosity that I was still on Vulcan, and so comfortable around so many people, working and living on his home planet. I felt his inward curiosity at my reserved posture at his greeting and approach, and the silent calm amazement of him that he picked up when he touched my shoulder. He decided then that should he ever need someone to help with a mind meld, he would choose me, my strength and potential were a mystery he would someday wish to investigate. He admired that I, a human, could be so comfortable around Vulcans when he, a half Vulcan, often felt alienated on his own home world. The memory of our reunion on the Enterprise was a bit choppy at first, he remembered my calling for him and remembered initiating a mind meld, within my mind meld. He never intended to draw energy from me and struggled to stop at first which is why I was so deeply affected.
The next memories were much fresher, memories of our dinner with Jean-Luc when pon-farr began a few days after coming to the Enterprise. He remembered watching me smile and banter with Jean-Luc, again so comfortable with seemingly everyone. His memories of pon-farr were the strongest and the most recent. He experienced the same dream as me, he was the figure I was hearing and seeing. He did not know he was projecting it, but that was when he made his decision. I would be his, I was the logical choice, I was young and vibrant, and would be able to temper his cold logic if needed. I reminded him of his mother in that way. He felt I would be comfortable residing on Vulcan or traveling with him when required. The ever-present companion. The memories of our most intimate times were the strongest, they brought a warm glow to my skin, causing me to catch my breath.
"Spock, I did not know," I whispered, ashamed that I accused him of choosing me out of convenience.
"Remember, we no longer have secrets from one another." He dropped my hands as he stood, "You must dress, the first shuttle will be here soon. Captain Picard has sent Data to retrieve me, you will follow later today in a different shuttle."
I threw back the sheet and rose, wearing only the pendant; the stone was cool where it rested between my breasts. I felt Spock turn to look at me, felt his desire as he moved closer. He picked up the stone, gently grazing my skin with his fingers.
"Spock?" I asked.
"Wear this close to your heart," he rumbled. "It will remind you of our times together."
"I will. Has pon-farr not ended?" I asked, still sensing his desire.
"I have complete control." He paused and I felt him temper his desire, "Amanda gave birth to me four years after she married my father during his pon-farr."
I stood there stunned for a moment. Spock dropped the pendant and left the room.