Chapter 4: Reunited.
"ARE YOU COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND? You could have collapsed from that sickness! You could have been kidnapped, tortured! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED! You could have gotten lost and no one knew where to search! Do you not have the slightest clue about what the word self-preservation mean? Do you not care about what this does to Prompto and Gladio? I… I should turn you over my knee and teach you a lesson, but I am afraid that you are too dull for it to go through." Ignis barked harshly and pinched the bridge of his nose; his unseeing eyes directed towards the ground and the pain in his ribs strained his breathing. He sighed heavily, turned towards the sound of his ward's rapid breathing and shook his head slightly 'I should probably not yell at him… he is both sick and sad and probably in shock too, but what am I to do when he is not even listening to reason? IS there even something to do? Maybe I should just call…' He tilted his head to the side and folded his arms over his chest in a stern demeanor.
"Do you have anything to say in your defense Your Highness, or should I call Cor to fetch you and ask him to teach you a lesson?" He asked with an almost venomous voice.
Noctis flinched and bit his lower lip 'Great… I barely had time to enter the garden before he flung upon me and began to yell… I guess that Prompto has called him after all, or Gladio? It may have as well have been Gladio and that would mean that he and Prompto are on their way. I am in trouble for real this time… I guess it will not get any better by ignoring Iggy's questions…' He thought and took a deep breath to collect his thoughts before he answered somewhat ashamed.
"I… there is not much to say… I am worried about you Iggy, you are the closest thing to a parent that I have ever had, do not take it wrong, I loved my father, but it has always been you who have been there for me; the thought of losing you… I cannot stand it.
Please try to understand Ignis, please… I did not think at all, I just ran because all I could think of was to see that you were alright, truly alive and the fear that you would not come back to us. I know that I did wrong, I know that I scared you all, I know that this was selfish, stupid and dangerous; but when I finally realized that, I was at the airport already. It was too late to turn back." He said pleadingly and wrapped his arms around himself as if he could protect his inner being from the guilt by doing so.
Guilt… and relief, those were the only feelings he currently felt. Ignis clenched his fists and took another deep breath, he did not know what to say, the words warmed his heart but he was way too angry to calm down by them and way too disappointed and shocked to let them affect him. He sighed heavily and shook his head again, everything was so frustrating, to hear the prince he swore to protect with his life, doubting his loyalty…
To hear his ward's hurt and fearful voice, his rapid and strained breathing from his sick body.
Noctis watched the ground again, bit his lower lip down hard and started to sob, he had expected Ignis to yell at him and to scold him, but he had not expected himself to feel so terrible emotionally and mentally worn out by the words that came out from his friend's mouth. Noctis had expected himself to feel comforted and happy about seeing him, but everything was drenched in guilt, fear, shame, and sadness. Another sob passed his lips and he took a seat at the ground, the hard stomped earth was the only thing that felt comforting; it was the only solid thing that he could find. Ignis continued to breathe deeply and calm and started to speak again, this time a bit more civilized, but still in a harsh, and serious tone.
"You are going to text Prompto and Gladio, telling them that you have arrived and ask them to call me in two hours." He said and made a pause before he started to speak again.
"You are acting like an obstinate child Noctis. It is not fit for a King to be and neither for a man in the twenties. You have to understand that you cannot keep on doing as you please. There are consequences that might harm or even get someone killed; do you understand that?
You could have died while being on the run! How do you think Prompto would have felt if that had happened while he was in charge of looking after your spoiled bum? You have to start listening to me Noctis Lucis Caelum, I am your chancellor and it is my job to advise you, a job mere impossible to accomplish if you choose to close your ears every time I open my mouth. Answer me on that question and answer me sincerely." The older man scolded sternly.
The prince of Lucis eyed him over for a while and wrapped his left arm around his knee while texting his friends left in Altissia. He still felt horrible for putting Prompto through all the stress and worry, to make him feel unwanted and abandoned. He let the phone fall to the ground when he was done and turned his face away while thinking out some answers.
"I understand that I could have gotten killed, believe me, I do, and I feel terrible for scaring you all like that. It was not my intention to do so.
Though I cannot answer how you have been feeling, simply because it hurt too much to think about right now… I was to protect Lunafreya… hell of the great job I did, maybe I should stay alone and let myself get killed… it would be a lot safer for you all.
Your words mean the world to me, even if I do not obey, I do listen carefully; you are the only guidance I have in this traitorous life. I do not think that you get it actually, how much you mean to me. I do not care for my sake if you are blind, deaf or loses a limb or two; you are still Ignis, our Ignis… MY Ignis. You are still my guardian, my parent, my irritating mum-ish figure that always nags about jackets, rest and vegetables.
You drive me nuts all the time but I do not want it to be any other way; I swear. I love you, Iggy, please do not leave me, you cannot do that, you are not allowed to!
I need you, Prompto and Gladio do too. Prompto has been all running around the walls, a nervous wreck and puked all yesterday night, he barely eats because he is so worried, Gladio is more gruff than usual and barely speaks; he is just with Cor and let Iris take his place.
You have to come home, you are missed, you belong by our side, I promise to never argue with you again, to always eat my vegetables and to do everything else you say if you only come back…" He said sadly and cradled up even more; he was tired and hurt in more ways that he wanted to admit even for himself. He felt so lost and so scared, like a little child who lost his parents on the crowded market. Tears started to fall down his cheeks but he did not bother to dry them away, there was no use as new ones soon would take their place. He did not know for how long the silence enfolded the two of them or for how long he sat there before Ignis searched his way over to him, seated and hugged him tightly.
"Noctis… there was nothing you could have done for Lady Lunafreya, do not sentence yourself to a life of suffering over something that was not your fault.
She made her choice to call on Leviathan, she knew Ardyn's plans and she knew that her life would be a sacrifice. Wars are like that, people die and people suffer, nothing is fair, nothing is right, but we cannot blame ourselves for being alive, that is as wrong as killing someone in vain. With time, you will come to term with the event, with your nightmares and all those scenes repeatedly playing in your mind, you will learn to live with it simply by having no other choice. I am sorry for you dear Noctis for losing her, but sorry and blame does not fix anything. You have to work with it, getting past it and move on, let it take the time it needs, do not try to rush it." He said and stroked his arm fondly; he had to say that he had missed his ward too, that he had been deeply worried about his mental health as soon as he heard that he was physically okay. The prince leaned into the embrace and took a hard grip around the older man's shirt with his clenched fists.
"I know… it is just… first, it was mother, then father, then Lunafreya and I got terrified when I thought that you were next… you were nowhere to be found, all I could see before I lost consciousness was darkness, red, black and smoke… I could smell the bittersweet smell of iron-rich blood; I could taste it in my mouth… I could feel it with my fingers. I held her body while she was still alive, she died in my arms and I could not do anything, I screamed at her, I was so angry… so afraid… I thought I would find you next, dead like the others, like those mothers and children on the streets, like all those fathers on the fields… I… you… you… never leave my side again. Ever!" He cried out and pressed his body tightly against his guardian's torso. Ignis hushed him gently and stroked his hand through the younger man's hair, giving it some air to dry the fever induced sweat from it. He hugged him tightly with his other arm and closed his eyes for a moment thought about what to do with the mess of a boy he held in his arms.
A heavy sigh flattened his chest and he kissed the top of the prince's hair while mumbling soothing words, the only thing in the present that he could think might help.
They both sat there for quite a while, finding comfort in each other's company until Ignis nudged him gently and got them to their feet.
"They are probably back here at any minute, I should start with dinner, do not get into trouble." He said sternly and followed the walls back inside to get to the kitchen.
Noctis was right behind him, worriedly watched every step he took, prepared to catch him if he fell; he had no idea about how being blind worked out but he was quite certain about that handling knives while being blind, was a bad idea.
"How about teaching me to cook instead? You have always told me that it is good to know stuff and cooking is good stuff, is it not? Eating certainly is." He asked in a subtle attempt to keep his friend from getting hurt, though it did not work out.
"It is indeed, but you are sick and I do not want you sniveling in the food. Find the bathroom, blow your nose, wash your hands and set the table for three, you and I are eating out when we have found an inn or a motel. There is no reason to stay here in their way and overdue our welcome." He answered casually and felt his way through to find what needed in order to make anything edible. Noctis frowned and watched him with concern, he could tell that something made Ignis reluctant to leave; he bit his lower lip and decided to ask him straight out.
"Do you even want to leave Ignis? If you and Snow have made good friends, let us settle down with Prompto, Gladio and Iris in this village. It is not like we have somewhere else to go…" He asked and scratched the back of his neck. Ignis sighed, put some vegetables and butter on the bench and then started to roam the refrigerator.
"Will you please do as told for once? We can speak about that later. I want your stomach filled and your bum in bed before you get any sicker." He muttered and held a bag of something frozen up for Noctis to look at.
"As you are still here, make yourself a bit useful and tell me what this is please." Noctis snorted and read at the label on the bag; it was not easy as Snow's handwriting was quite messy.
"Mincemeat and you do not have to be so edgy just for a simple question." He mumbled a bit hurt by the harsh answer and turned around to search for the bathroom.
The chancellor leaned his forearms on the kitchen bench and tried to breathe deeply.
The pain in his ribs and in his eyes made it hard to stay humble, but he knew that he had to do everything in his power not to make Noctis further upset.
There was a quite good reason to why he did not want to go back before he had healed in the first place, but of course, the prince would not listen to that ear.
He never did, and that started to get on his nerves. Was there a way for the prince to learn that he had to take others wishes, feelings and thoughts into consideration? If there was, he wanted to find it and quickly, before he damaged his friendship with Prompto and Gladiolus beyond repair.
He knew that Noctis would be forgiven by them after a while, but the prince would never forgive himself and that would be in the way of efficiency and trust.
He muttered something under his breath and put the bag of frozen mincemeat in a bowl of hot water before he started to chop the vegetables with a bit of difficulty.
Noctis soon came back and set the table before he went to his side and looked at the iron pot on the stove.
"Do you want me to do anything more? Cutting maybe?" He asked silently not to startle him while he held the knife.
Ignis smiled amused and nodded towards the sink where the bowl of water stood.
"You are not touching sharp objects even when healthy; you do have the concentration rate of a drunken Chocobo Noct. If you want to help, refill that bowl with hot water please, preferably without burning yourself." The prince scowled and huffed, pretended to get insulted by the words.
"Pfft… is that a way to talk to a prince? I should feed you with those slimy snail things from Niflheim." He muttered and poured the chilled water out and put some hot water in. The Chancellor shook his head and chuckled amused at his hopelessly ignorant ward.
"The name is escargot and they are from Tenebrae my dear, you should know that.
You tasted it last time you were there and got scolded for making a scene when you saw that is was snails." Noctis mumbled something and put the bowl back at the sink unit.
"Yea… well… I tried to forget about that… I do not like being scolded you know, especially not in public places and I got scared, it sounded good and then they came with snails! Who in their right mind eat such things?" He exclaimed and folded his arms with a pout.
"Behave yourself. Escargot is a delicacy and you should learn to treat other's feelings and thoughts with a bit more respect, and if you do not like being scolded I would suggest that you stop giving me reasons to scold you." He answered with a pant, his rib still ached and he figured that he would need to lie down and rest for a while after he was done.
"Yea yea mum… I hear you… do you think Prompto is okay?" He asked and scratched his cheek.
"He wanted you to call him when I arrived to confirm that I have reached you unharmed. He does not trust my word for it." He said and took a step back from the bench.
Ignis put the vegetables in another bowl for the time being and answered him.
"Honestly? None of us are okay Noctis, you least of us. You may be strong but you have witnessed something terrible very close up.
I will call Prompto after dinner is ready and talk to him, though Gladio is with him so there is no reason to worry. The two of them work well together."
The prince nodded and watched the ceiling and then poked the mincemeat with a fork to see if it had defrosted enough.
"I hope you are right…" He mumbled and dried his cheek off with his sleeve.
"I think I might have scared him big time… and hurt him equal as much. I will call him myself now and come back when I am done." He mumbled and picked his phone up from his pocket. Ignis straightened his back and nodded once.
"Sounds good, but you are staying in bed while calling, you need to rest." He said and described the way to the room where he slept.
Noctis nodded and soon Ignis was alone in the kitchen. When dinner was done, Ignis put the pot of mincemeat sauce and spaghetti on a cold spot at the stove, the salad was in a glass bowl at the bench; he just had the time to put it all down before he heard the voices in the hallway.
"You are so unfair, Lightning! You cannot just say things like that, you are hurting his feelings!" Serah said sourly, folded her arms and stared angrily at her elder sister.
Lightning sighed heavily and rolled her eyes as she took her shoes off and entered the kitchen. She did not notice Ignis at all where he was standing, leaned against the kitchen bench.
"He is not good enough for you; he is a selfish, hypocritical brat with hubris, you would do far better off with that annoying childish prince, you drooled over on the airship, at least he is capable of courting a lady." She snapped and turned around slightly blushed when Ignis cleared his throat; he then raised an eyebrow at the direction of her voice.
"I would greatly appreciate if you kept His Highness out of such a sensitive subject Miss Farron; he has just lost his betrothed to war, and you should consider that around your sister too, weapons are not the only sharp things you are carrying. Please choose your words with better care." He scolded with demanding sternness and walked passed her, excused himself to Serah as he bumped into her and left the house as well as a pair of stunned women behind.
After been searching for a while for a relatively quiet spot, he took a seat at the ground near the house wall, leaned against it and called Gladiolus with the voice demand-function. He then closed his eyes and pulled his knee up to rest his arm on it while waiting.
It did not take long for him to get an answer from his friend.
"Hi Specs, how ya doing?" Ignis frowned and was quiet while trying to understand what he heard as much as he tried to come up with an answer to the question, he eventually decided to answer with a question of his own.
"Do you by any chance know where our second ward is located?" He asked dryly and pinched the bridge of his nose as he leaned his head back against the wall.
He was met by a self-conscious gruff in his ear followed by a reluctant answer.
"Noct you mean? Well… he is supposed to be around here, how come?" The older man asked and scratched his cheek. A highly irritating sigh passed Ignis' lips before he answered with a dangerously low voice.
"Of course I mean Noct… who else? Santa Claus? Define 'suppose to be around' and answer the god damn question.
Why did he show up here without a warning! Do you not realize that he could have died! By the Gods… do I have to be a fulltime mother of three for the rest of my life?" He barked and took a hissing breath. Gladiolus snorted and shook his head; he could not believe that the same boy made it across half the country and all the way to New Bodhum on his own, he who could not even tell a carrot and a turnip apart.
"Hey… do not die on me now. You really should find a doctor for those ribs Specs." He said worriedly and glanced in the direction of Prompto who yelled livid in the phone, scolding his friend.
"I messed up, I know. Do you not think that I blame myself for it? I should have kept both my eyes on him; I failed my duty, I am very well aware of that.
It does not excuse his royal sorry arse's behavior, does it? He will so regret this!" Ignis shook his head and tried to relax not to hurt even more as he spoke.
"There is no need for such a language to pester my ear and Gladio? We are all and none to blame. I am sorry. Noctis and I talked for a while after I chewed his ears off, he understands that what he did was wrong and dangerous; I should have spoken more clearly to him regarding my returning. Speaking of that… is Prompto feeling well enough to travel within the next following days? I think it might be doing us all good to be reunited and this is a rather comfortable place; a smaller city on the coast side." He said and turned his face upwards towards the sky, longed, to once again, see the bright blue color, the burning sunrise, the colorful birds and butterflies… And just for once, catch a glimpse of his rescuer's face. He snapped back to reality by his friend's voice and blushed deeply by the thought of Snow.
"Sure seems like it by the way he is running around and screaming. I have no idea what they are talking about." He said, sighed heavily and covered the microphone to bark at the younger one to calm down. Ignis chuckled, the familiar sound of their arguing warmed him up a little and he felt his body instantly relax.
"You cannot imagine how nice it is to hear your bickering again and to think that we only have been separated for about two weeks. It feels more than that due to the circumstances." Gladiolus grunted at something Prompto said and answered his friend on the phone.
"Surely does. I will pack us together and we will be there as soon as possible. I have a royal arse to kick, and do not dare to think that you can get away with turning your phone off." He said almost angrily and canceled the call. Ignis smiled fondly and put his phone in his pocket, rose from the ground and stroke his hand over his cheek.
Things seemed to work out pretty well after all, despite their setbacks, all he needed to do from that point was to find somewhere to stay, and for that, he would need some help.