13

Alice knows she wants answers, but she didn't think she'd be pulled into the groundskeeper's closet to get them.

So here she is, wedged between several gardening tools, a lawn mower digging into her back with Mirana pressed very close to her, close enough for her to feel the little puffs of breath coming from her nose. She knows she shouldn't be thinking this, knows that Mirana would probably be disgusted with her were she to voice said thoughts, but in such close proximity she can't help but wonder what the White Queen would do if she just leaned in a little closer.

Damn her body and its unsatisfiable wants.

She forces herself to say something intelligible. "So why, exactly, are we keeping your war a secret?" she asks. She doesn't see why they can't just tell the professors and have them end it.

Mirana shakes her head. "Alice, don't you know that when you tell on someone, you make things worse? If we were to tell Professor Flora, the torturing would escalate further. We cannot let the staff get involved."

Alice shelves any thoughts of telling Mirana about what she actually told Professor Flora. It won't do to have her angry with her again. "Why couldn't they stop it altogether? Expel those guilty?"

Mirana laughs mirthlessly. "Don't you think I've looked into that? Of course they could, but my parents run this school, and money talks. Iracebeth's whole gang practically has money pouring out their ears, and of course she'd throw them under the bus if she had to to save herself. If their parents pay mine enough, they'll forget anything. My only chance to dismantle her, undo all these awful webs she's been weaving, is to win this fight."

Alice groans inwardly. Money. Of course. It's always money. She shifts a bit, the lawn mower pushing a bit harder on her, and she's reminded of where they are. "On an unrelated note, why are we in the groundskeeper's closet?"

"We can't be seen together, remember?"

"Yes, but the closet?"

"I needed to talk to you, alright?"

Alice holds her hands up in defense the best she can in the cramped space. "Sorry." Her eyes flicker down to Mirana's wrists, wrapped in fresh gauze, and her curiosity gets the better of her. "What did they do to your wrists?"

Mirana puts them behind her back self-consciously, wincing when she accidentally hits the door. "They burned them. Wrapped them with copper coils and heated the metal."

Alice curses under her breath, rage welling up. If she ever sees Bumby again, she'll kill him. "At least that was the worst of it, right?"

Mirana squirms a little, uncomfortable. "No, but I don't want to talk about it." She presses herself against the door, looking everywhere but Alice, desperately trying to maintain her composure.

Now she has to know. "Mirana, tell me. You can't keep this inside." Mirana shakes her head, and it's only then that Alice understands. Her lips pull back into a snarl. "He touched you, didn't he?"

Mirana nods, fighting back tears threatening to pour from her eyes. "Can we please not talk about this anymore?" she pleads, keeping her jaw set and firm.

Alice sighs. "Alright, but at least tell me what I can do to make you feel okay again."

Mirana's eyes finally meet hers, so much pain in those soulful, dark brown eyes. "Win this war." she says softly.

Alice nods. "I will. I'll fight for you, if I have to."

The words leave her lips, shocking her a little. A while ago, that would have been unheard of. Don't get involved. That's what she'd tried to do. Yet try as she might, staying away grows more impossible with each passing day. She can't. She doesn't want to.

Mirana smiles sadly and leans down, brushing her lips against Alice's cheek. Heat spreads from the feather light touch, and Alice can't suppress the glimmer of hope that surges through her. She pulls away far too soon, lingering for half a second. When she straightens up again, she looks very much the part of the White Queen, regal and strong, head held high.

"I'll see you back at our room."

She leaves the closet, leaving Alice to sink to the floor.

Our room.

Heaven help her.

"No you idiot, we can't do that!"

Alice holds in an exasperated sigh as Iracebeth once again berates the Bandersnatch. Honestly, his suggestion isn't as bad as the other ones have been, and if it wouldn't hurt Tarrant, she might actually be impressed. She tries to ignore the stream of insults that follow, digging into her toad in the hole, making sure to get a good amount of bread on to go with the meat. Out of everyone else in the entire gang, the Bandersnatch seems to get the brunt of the Red Queen's wrath. Alice can't help but feel a little sorry for him. The Jabberwocky basks in it, of course, quickly offering alternatives that honestly sound like slightly tweaked versions of what the Bandersnatch proposed, eager to please Iracebeth in any way he can. When he's not doing that, he's writing down more poison recipes. Alice has taken note of a few of his methods to know what to watch out for. If Iracebeth starts showing any more favor to her, he might try to poison her next. Stayne, as usual, refuses to contribute anything useful to the conversation, simply saying that he'll do what needs to be done. Timmy and Tommy mostly stay silent, afraid of upsetting Iracebeth with their way of speaking.

"Why don't we just take his hat?" the Bandersnatch tries again, shredding his steak and potatoes absentmindedly. She can see the anxiousness in his hand as he grips the fork, destroying his meal more and more by the second. "He seems to rely on it quite a bit."

"No!" Alice says quickly. The lot of them stare at her. Bollocks, now she's got to think of a decent excuse. "We can't, because…" Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks! "Because everyone will notice!" Now follow it up with something believable. "Everyone knows that he needs that hat. If it goes missing, it'll draw attention to us." Good, yes. That's believable.

The gang seems to accept this and returns to planning strategies. The Bandersnatch sinks into his seat, defeated, and starts moodily shovelling food into his mouth. Alice wishes she could tell him she's sorry for shooting him down, but she can't let Iracebeth take his hat away. He needs it. Switching personas instantly when it's removed is proof of that, since the only other time that happens is when he grows passionate or angry.

The Bandersnatch finishes his food and gets up to leave. Iracebeth's eyes narrow.

"Did I say you could leave?" she says, her lip curling. The Bandersnatch rolls his eyes and keeps going, towards the dish return. "Get back here!" He doesn't even turn around, eyes straight ahead. Iracebeth's cheeks redden with rage. "Um! Get him back here!"

Alice bites back a curse but goes after the Bandersnatch anyway. Maybe this can be her chance to get him to switch sides, at least get some muscle on their side. The Bandersnatch is the only one that remotely has a chance in a fight against Stayne and the Jabberwocky, if it ever comes to that.

He acknowledges her presence with a low grunt. "I'm not going back there." he mutters.

Alice sits on a stool. "That's fine."

The Bandersnatch grips the counter. "No, it's not. I can't go back, not ever." He lets out a heavy sigh. "I'm lost again."

Alice sits forward a little, intrigued. "Again?"

He flies at her, his fist closed around her throat in a second, tight enough to hurt but not enough to break anything. "You can't repeat this to a soul, alright?" Alice gasps out a yes and he releases her. She rubs her throat, sucking in air. Yes, he'd definitely be perfect in a fight. "I'm only telling you because you're not like them. You listen. You give good reasons. You don't just tell me 'no'." He paces around, glaring at the occasional student that happens to wander in. "I just wanted a place where I could fit. Everyone was scared of me when I came here. Nobody wanted to talk to me, because of this."

He reaches up, into his eye socket, and pops out his left eye. Alice's stomach churns at the sight of pink, hollowed out flesh. She'd never noticed that one of his eyes wasn't real. Eventually staring directly at his face becomes too much, and her eyes find the tiled floor.

He holds out the eye to her, a pale iris staring at her. "Do you want to hold it?"

Alice looks away again. She just can't look at it, and she feels awful knowing that she feels this way. "No, thank you."

He laughs bitterly. "You see?" There's the sound of it being popped back into place. "You can look now." Alice raises her eyes, but now she can't unsee what he's just revealed. She looks away again. He groans. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. There's a lot worse, but I've got makeup covering it." His heavy feet scuff the floor as he drags them. "No one can look at me. No one can talk to me, because they're afraid. They think I'm going to hurt them because of this. I didn't belong anywhere.

Then Iracebeth found me. I know, I shouldn't be saying her name. It's 'Your Majesty' to me, or 'Red Queen'. I didn't care before. I thought this was the way friends treated each other. There was a clear alpha, and the rest followed. Kind of like a beast pack.

But the way she's been to me lately… I started thinking that this wasn't the way things are supposed to be. She doesn't listen to me. She doesn't talk to me unless she needs something. She doesn't have anything to do with me unless she needs something. Convert or destroy. That was all she told me to do. Never, 'hey mate, want to catch a movie?' or 'come on, I want to show you something!'. Yeah, I hear them. The other kids in the halls, talking to each other. Like equals! I want that. But Iracebeth always said I couldn't because I was better than them. We didn't waste our time with things like that. Yet when she thought I didn't hear them, she'd invite Ilosovic and James out and leave me here to 'patrol the halls' or 'keep everyone in line'. I never did. I didn't want to. It didn't feel like me. Though I suppose it's been so long that I don't know who I am anymore. I'm just some brute with a fucked up face.

I can't stay with her anymore, Alice. I can't do it. She makes me feel worthless, unimportant. I'd rather be alone than stay with her."

His eyes light up a little. "But you listen." he says. "You listen to everyone. I've seen you. Why don't we both leave Iracebeth? I can give you protection. We don't have to get involved. We can let Red and White fight it out and not have to worry about anything anymore. We don't have to be friends. We can just be allies, if you want."

Oh God, he looks so hopeful. Alice wants to say yes, she really does, but she's in too deep to just throw everything away and leave it all behind. Mirana is too important to her. Tarrant is too important. Thackery, Mally, Nivens, Chess, they're all worth staying in this for. Now is the time to tell him.

"I can't withdraw from the war." Alice says carefully. "Wait!" she says as the Bandersnatch growls in frustration and makes to leave. "I can offer you a place with Mirana's… alliance?" Is that even the proper term? It'll do. "Yes, alliance."

The Bandersnatch scoffs. "Oh, yeah. If I wanted to be on the losing side, I'd switch myself."

Alice scowls. "How do you know we're going to lose?"

"As long as Iracebeth's got James, she can't lose. He's the one everyone's really afraid of. Get rid of him, and maybe I'll join you."

"Who's James, exactly?"

"Iracebeth's Jabber-baby-wocky." he simpers. "Bloody stupid nickname if you ask me, but then again, no one ever does." With that, he shuffles out the door, shoulders slumped.

Well, there goes their best chances at a fighter. The Jabberwocky is far too strong for anyone but the Bandersnatch to take on. His lithe form makes him impossible to hit, and he's got a plethora of weapons to choose from. He could very well weaken his opponents before the fight even starts.

Well shit.

"I'll just have to surrender."

"What? No!" Alice says adamantly. She springs off her bed onto her feet. "There has to be another way."

Mirana gingerly taps something out onto her laptop. "You said it yourself. Defeating the Jabberwocky is our best shot. We don't have anyone strong enough, and I obviously cannot do it, not even if I wanted to."

Alice moves to stand behind her chair, curious to see what Mirana's working on that's keeping her so calm about all of this. Astronomy notes. How dull. "Why not?"

Mirana shows Alice her wrists for a split second, but it's enough to give Alice a painful reminder of past events. "These. Besides, it goes against my vows."

Alice raises an eyebrow. "What vows? When did you take vows?"

"In the asylum. When I saw certain… treatments, I made several vows to God not to harm another living creature. I never want to be the cause of so much agony." Forgetting her wrists for a moment, she bends them to add something else, hissing out when a jolt of pain bites the muscle.

Alice gently places her hands on Mirana's shoulders. Mirana tenses up for a moment before relaxing, but only slightly, under Alice's light touch. "Stop it. You're hurting yourself."

"I'm fine, Alice."

"No, you're not. Typing with straight wrists is nearly impossible. I'm surprised you've managed for so long."

"I have to get this done." Mirana insists.

"Let me do it."

"Alice —"

"Mirana." Alice challenges. "It's just copying notes. I promise you that I won't change anything Thackery wrote. I'll copy it exactly." She glances at the second screen, noticing that despite his choppy writing, Thackery's notes are very detailed. She tries not to grimace at the amount of time it's going to take to get it all down. It's for Mirana. It's worth it.

Mirana reluctantly cedes. "Fine." She gets up from her desk and stands to let Alice take her place. "Well, if I don't surrender, what are we supposed to do? It's only a matter of time before they stop talking about hunting Tarrant and actually do it. You can't hold them off forever."

"That remains to be seen." Alice squints. Assertion? Assention? Oh, ascension. This is going to be a long night.

"What I would need is a Champion." Mirana says to herself. "Someone who would declare their loyalty in front of Iracebeth and face the Jabberwocky alone, which is suicide in itself. None of our boys are exactly strong enough, though. I wouldn't want to put any of them in that kind of danger."

Alice stops typing about the Right Ascension for a moment and thinks. This is a mad, completely bonkers idea, but it just might work. Besides, there really is no other choice, and she did informally promise Mirana she would if need be.

"Who says it has to be a boy?" she asks.

"Are you suggesting Mally? The Jabberwocky would snap her in —"

"I'm suggesting me."

There's a silence that seems to hang in the air for an eternity. Then:

"No."

"What?"

"I said no, Alice."

Alice glares at her. "And why not? I don't see any other options."

"I'm not letting you put yourself in harm's way for me again. I won't allow it."

"You won't allow it?" Alice gets up, and in that moment she feels taller than Mirana for once. "You can't forbid me from anything, Mirana. You don't own me. If I want to fight for you, I will. You can't stop me. I told you earlier my —"

"I didn't think it would come to —!"

"Well it has!" Alice stops, suddenly aware of how riled up she is, how heavily she's breathing, and how terrifying she must look to Mirana right now. She forces herself to calm down and softens her tone. She's got one card left to deal. Her final ace. "I'm doing this because I love you." There, it's out there. She's said it, and there's no taking it back.

Mirana turns away from her, and her heart breaks a little. "That's exactly why you shouldn't be doing it. You're letting your feelings cloud your judgement."

"I disagree." Alice says. "Wouldn't you rather have someone that loves you fighting for you?"

Mirana laughs mirthlessly. "I'm not sure you mean that. You could just be telling me that for the sake of saying it."

Alice moves closer to her, feeling braver now, bolder. "I love you. I love you, and I'm going to keep telling you that until you believe me."

Mirana turns away from her, hiding her face. "Even if I felt the same way, which I'm not even sure I do, we cannot be. My parents still run this school."

"Your parents don't even live here. Once Iracebeth is defeated and we can prove what she's been doing, nothing she says can ruin you, because they won't believe her anymore." She takes Mirana's hand, careful to keep her wrist straight. "I will be your Champion." She lifts her hand and presses her lips to her soft, ivory skin, closing her eyes a little at the sensation of her lips on Mirana. "I love you." she murmurs, pressing another kiss to her hand.

Mirana flushes, a soft tinge of pink barely showing on her cheeks. "I'm not sure I can say the same, not yet, at least. But thank you." Her eyes meet Alice's, and she smiles at her warmly.

"My Champion."