Chapter 8: Summer Lovin'
It was brilliant, I finally had this sense of security and a place I was happy to call my home. Sirius was a great father figure, I felt comfortable with him, we could talk about everything and if I ever needed anything he wanted to help. I mean, he wasn't perfect. He was really immature and acted like a child quite often, but Professor Lupin was always coming by to catch up with his best friend now he'd been cleared and straightening him out. He had a calming effect on people, not just my godfather, because he was such a mellow person in general. His calming aura got me too.
Tom wrote to me every day, and each one mentioned how he'd missed me. His first letter came with a lock of his hair, which made me laugh to the point of tears, and a request to send back a lock of mine. Once I sent my letter and lock with Hedwig, I went to go ask Sirius if he had a locket for me to put it in. He said they'd found an heirloom in Kreacher's bed basket, which he gave me. I couldn't get it open at first, Sirius couldn't unjam the clasp and neither could Remus, but when I was back in my room I noticed the beautiful intricate snake in the shape of an 'S'. Maybe S for Slytherin, like the Chamber of Secrets. I hissed out a word in Parseltongue and it clicked open, so I hid the hair inside and put it on. And I felt so much better. I did feel closer to him.
Between getting to know my father's best friends and writing letters to my boyfriend, I took the time to hang out with Neville more. We hung out at my place, and his place, and went shopping in Diagon Alley quite often. Instead of celebrating my birthday on the 31st, I'd celebrate a day early with Neville on his birthday. Sirius thought it was cute and fully agreed quickly. We went out shopping for food and drink the day before so we could have a mini party and I bought him three books on Herbology from Whizz Hard Books and a set of navy robes from Twilfitt and Tatting's, for his favourite colour. He bought me a Quidditch ball set and enough sweets to give me diabetes, as well as a set of pretty green robes he said matched my eyes. Tom would like them. We were sat in Rosa Lee Teabag taking a break for lunch and the Weasleys must have walked passed because Fred and George walked in and sat with us. They were telling us about Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, a joke shop they wanted to open and all the pranks they'd thought of and which ones had worked.
"Well, once you've left school, and your business plans are straight, I wouldn't mind being an investor in that." Neville smiled.
Harry agreed, "I've been left more money than I can spend, so I'll just second that statement."
They hugged us and were heading off to grab school supplies with their mum when Ron came in and joined us too. He was being friendly and social with me, and even the twins were looking at him like he was being a dick. After a minute I couldn't take it and reminded him how he didn't like me so he should leave me to enjoy my day with Neville and chat with his brothers. Neville backed me, telling him to just leave without there being a scene, though it didn't look like he was going to.
"Yeah, runoff before all the lanky-wanker, second-hand robes are taken and you'll be stuck with ill-fitting ones. Again."
Everyone turned to Malfoy as he walked passed to the counter, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing, Neville and the twins joining in quietly as Ron stropped out. Malfoy walked back past with a takeaway cup and tilted his head in my direction, asking me not mention how I met his mum to his dad, cos he gets funny over Tom. He left with a shrug and waved to me and Neville as he went. It was strangely friendly. Well, Tom is friends with his mum, so maybe I should try to be friends with him. The twins went and I was left with Neville again, and he spoke before I could.
"Hey, do you ever get these feelings, or these thoughts, about... hurting someone." He started, "because I wish I didn't, or that my thoughts were justified, but I just have this sort of aggressive nature. I know, I don't look it, but I can always feel it. And it's even like that in relationships. Apparently, I'm really rough with them, but I don't even realise it. Honestly, Harry, I'm so worried. What if I'm mental or a danger to society or-"
"It's not just you Nev, I'm like that. I'm scarily obsessive with Tom." I admitted to stop him rambling, "he's even sent me a lock of his hair to keep with me as a joke, and I'm actually wearing around my neck right now. It helps me stay close to him, even though I'm going back to school soon, and he's going travelling. Together in spirit or something."
Neville tried to express interest, asking where to and why, but I had no idea. It wasn't something I really cared about, as long as he came back to me. He could honestly be going to some remote country to kill a load of people, and I'd still be crazy about him. I shouldn't admit that to Neville but in the spirit of the conversation, I opened up to him. He thanked me for the reassurance that he wasn't strange, or that he wasn't the only strange person, and we promised to never tell anyone. Nobody else would understand, as we were Gryffindors, and we were supposed to be brave and noble, shiny white not slightly dark.
We enjoyed the rest of our day, and our strange birthday party the day after. He got loads of cool things, magical and muggle, and the best thing I had was an adorable polaroid camera from Remus. Tom couldn't see me as he left for somewhere in Brazil early, but he sent me a letter with a lipstick kiss and I loved the image of him in red lipstick. He was being so sweet, being so cute, and I honestly wrote back admitting I loved him. The high had lasted all night, clouding my sanity so I couldn't have stopped myself smelling the lock of his hair and touching myself if I'd wanted to.
I was worried he wouldn't answer, that he'd put it off for a week and send back an awkward letter about it being too soon, but his reply was waiting when I woke up before heading to Hogwarts. He admitted he'd never been in love, but that from what he knows of it he'd say he's fallen just as deep as me. He warned me that I had no idea how bad this was for him, because nobody had ever had this kind of power over him, and he didn't want me to abuse it. I wrote back to promise I never would, to tell him just how bad he had me under his thumb, that he could secretly be a serial killer or something and I still wouldn't be about to push myself to leave him. He thought I had power, but we've seen me go crazy over a little bump, he had the power to make me as batty as You-Know-Who. He answered exactly just before I left, and said the next time we saw each other, he'd explain all the things it was hard to say in letters, and never let me go again. And I wondered when he'd see me again because it honestly couldn't be soon enough for me.
~o0o~
Tom walked through the bleak streets, marvelling at how things were still the same after half a century. He was more sluggish than he was willing to admit, after dreams of his Harry all night. He had the most vivid dreams, almost as if he was living them himself, of what lies between pale thighs and a scent he knew to be his own flushing his senses. It was almost like he was in his Harry's mind, watching and feeling him touch himself thinking of Tom, and moaning dirty things about what he'd want to happen to him. But he couldn't be in Harry's mind, not from so far away. It wasn't possible.
He walked up the garden path, breaking through whatever pathetic wards were placed, and shivered at the one changed house in the village. Tom knew the place, had only seen it once, but after the fun he'd had that night, he wouldn't forget. Breaking out from the shackles of a family holding him back with their existence. It would be something he'd recommend to Harry, to really free him of his awful relatives. Harry and Tom were so similar, yet neither knew how deeply. Tom had admitted his feelings, showing trust he almost couldn't bare. The plan had been cold, unfeeling and fake. But now he felt warm, feelings freed that disgusted him, or would have if Harry hadn't returned them. He may not return them if the truth shook him as deep as Tom thought it would, but he had an unscheduled appointment before that time, where plans needed to be shaped. He pulled the lock of Harry's hair from his pocket and smelled it to calm his nerves before he walked through the aged, rusted doorway.