Chapter 16: Snape's Loyalties

There were no meet-ups in my dirty dreams. Just thoughts of how we could have spent last night. The positions he could put me in, how it would feel having his prick in my mouth, or mine in his. I was submissive to him in every way, it gave me tingles to hear him call me 'pet' like it was a loving nickname. I'd seen him topless before, but I'd never seen him fully naked. It left a lot up to my imagination. I woke up frustrated that I was left untouched and my morning wood only added to that. It was comforting to have his heat behind me, his arms holding me around my waist. Just a little further down and I'd be getting some satisfaction. My movement unsettled him and he held me tighter, nuzzling the back of my neck. HIs voice was husky as he told me I smelt nice. It sent a jolt south.

"Oh no baby, none of that" he chuckled.

I pouted, "why not?"

"Because I was raised in the 40s, I isolated myself from people so I didn't progress socially like the rest of society. Call it old-fashioned if you like, but fornication was frowned upon when I was young. Now I consider it a respect thing, I respect your body enough to not use it for my pleasure meaninglessly. I also respect my body, not wanting to give over something as important as control of my physical pleasure to anyone I don't trust completely, and at an appropriate time where I can completely enjoy myself without worrying about your age, or innocents, or someone walking in on us. I've never given myself over to someone like that before, I don't how I'll be. Rough or gentle? Loud screams or panting moans? It's an interesting thought for me, though not one I'll investigate on a whim."

"So we don't get to do anything until we're married?" I frowned, "I can live with that. You like the way I smell and have a fascination with my legs, which means you'll marry me someday, so I'll wait."

He held me tighter. I wiggled out of his embrace to solve my problem myself, alone so as not to disrespect his eyes with such lewdness. My punishment for being cheeky was a sharp swat to my ass. It stung, but also made me giggle. He smiled at me, though he raised a challenging brow. I wouldn't dare challenge him. I understood he was the alpha in our partnership, it made life easier to not pick fights over unessential things. I left to enjoy the solidarity of the bathroom for my problem.

Breakfast was less eventful as dinner, and Tom left just after. It was hard to let him leave, but he insisted he needed to go. Bitterly, I remembered I had three years before I became an adult and was allowed to move in with him, before I could marry him. My mood was ruined after that, I moped around thinking of Tom and how much I missed him. Sirius thought I was obsessive, I admitted that. But I made a plan with Tom, I needed to follow through. I wanted to make him proud of me. A good little pet, like I'd dreamed because all I'd have was dreams for a while.

"I need a distraction, it might as well be productive," I smiled. "If Professor Snape isn't busy, I want him to tutor me with Potions. This big fight isn't picking up, so I want to make sure I get the O. I need for my N.E. . I want to be an Auror, just like my dad, and I need Potions."

Sirius looked uncomfortable but gave me permission to use the Potions Lab in the basement. He left to floo Dumbledore, Snape would listen to the headmaster but not likely to listen to anyone else. I grinned to myself. It was a low blow, but using my dad to manipulate Sirius was kind of easy. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Tom's the bad cop here, I shouldn't be doing things like that. But it gave good results, Sirius returned with the Potions Master in tow and neither looking particularly happy about it. I greeted Snape with more respect than I ever had before, using his title as well as his surname. He turned on his heels and headed to the basement door. Small talk was never a strength of his.

In the basement, we stood across from each other, and he waited for me to say something. I confessed I didn't want him here to tutor me and he laughed harshly. He let off his usual barrage of insults about how my lack of intelligence and similarities with my father. Suddenly I felt the weight of my relationship on my shoulders, like if he was a loyal death eater then Tom could torture him for such a statement. He could punish anyone for talking down to me. It was a scary and intoxicating power.

"Look, you're here for one reason only, to prove to me who you're loyal to." I scowled, but checked myself and halted my attitude. "I want to know if I can trust you to do your role and keep the man I love safe. So where are your loyalties? With Dumbledore, or with Tom?"

His eyes widened. He took a step back when I brought out my wand. I cast a hasty silencing charm. There were multiple spells I could use to try and take him down, he wouldn't expect any of them, it would just be hard to get any of them to hit. Then I'd need Tom to come to get me immediately to keep me out of trouble. I hadn't fully thought this through, but if I ended up in Azkaban to keep Tom safe you can bet your sorry ass I'd do it. He made me just that crazy. I was quick to disarm my professor as soon as I thought he'd reached for his wand, it made him take me seriously.

"I fight to protect you. I was close to your mother, she died to save your life." He paled, hands in the air. "You have her eyes. While I despise how much you resemble your father, I try to focus on your eyes. If you're changing sides then I'll change too."

"How can I trust you aren't just saying that because you feel threatened now?"

"Send me to him, he can read my mind." He asked.

"And let you just run to Dumbledore, oh no. I won't let you out of my sight until I know I can trust you."

It was a stupid idea, but the only one I had. I stared into his eyes and tried to plough into his head as I did with Tom. I didn't know a spell, or wand movement, but I forced my magic to do what I wanted. Images flashed into my mind from his, things I wanted to see. His affection for my mum. Dumbledore convincing him to change sides because he cared for my mum and I was her blood. A conversation on protecting me, certain I was a Horcrux and needing to keep me alive until the right time. That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I was a pig to Dumbledore, a pig he was raising for the slaughter. It just wasn't the time.

I freed Snape from my grasp on his mind, not realising the kind of damage done until I saw him crumpled on the floor groaning. Before I would have apologised and run over to make sure he was okay. I would have called for help by running upstairs to Sirius or Remus. But now I felt strong, I understood why Tom used pain to show his power, there was a thrill to it. He looked up at me with watery eyes and I ordered him to Tom's side, where he was needed to fill a role. Neville would have his intended trainer. He dusted himself off and took a moment to gain his composure before he walked me out of the basement.

"Good lesson, Harry?" Remus greeted conversationally.

"What I could get from it. Professor Snape forgot a previous appointment, so he'll tutor me another day. Or I'm sure you could improve my appalling skills thus far."

I made up a conversation, faking a smile through it as Snape left, a last surprised look back at me before he left. I was apprehensive, he could turn to Dumbledore anyway and have me in serious trouble, but I'd go down screaming murder to anyone who'd listen about our beloved headmaster and see where his social position goes. A part of me was terrified by how cold and dark my mind had become, not fully understanding it was okay to be this way with Tom, questioning if I should open up to my 'parents'. But I knew they weren't ready. The truth would come out eventually, and at that point, they needed to decide. Family or a decade old vengeance?

"Now Harry, it's just about time for lunch." Sirius grinned, "and I'm famished."

"Aren't you always?" Remus teased, heading for the kitchen. I hoped Tom and I would always be that cute too.