Sorry for the long wait. I agonized over this chapter - writing and revising it to make it somewhat work. Conversations like this are just tough to write.
Also, thank you so much for those who reviewed! It really brightened my days when I received one! I'm glad to know there are some people out there enjoying it. :)
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Chapter 8
The setting sun glinted off of the few remaining cars in the parking lot as Lance and Kurt stumbled towards the tree-lined sidewalk. Kurt could barely keep himself upright, let alone walk on his own. One of his arms was thrown over Lance's shoulder while his weight was support by Lance's arm entwined about his waist. His head was bent forward, as if even that was too much effort to lift. A light breeze ruffled through Lance's hair and Kurt's fur, stirring the leaves across their feet as they finally lurched onto the sidewalk.
As they staggered along, the silence seemed overwhelming, broken only by the intermittent crunching of dry leaves. Lance didn't know what he could say. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind but none he could grasp and form into words. Besides, he doubt Kurt would absorb any platitudes he could think of. With each step, Kurt was resting more and more of his weight on Lance. His body was drooping forward as if a weight was tied around his neck. Lance was sure that to any passing cars, they looked like a pair of drunken teens weaving along the path.
He couldn't shake the image of Trieg lying on Kurt, intimately licking his lip. His breath quickened as he replayed it on loop in his head. What had transpired before? What about before even today? Had Kurt lied about what Trieg had done? Could Lance have –
His endless barrage of unanswerable questions was interrupted as Kurt tripped over a treacherous section of the sidewalk. Somehow, Lance managed to maintain his balance and kept them both from a harsh landing. Looking back, Lance saw that a tree root had entrenched itself under the sidewalk, causing the concrete to buckle.
"You okay?"
After a beat, Lance received a slight nod and for a few more steps, they wobbled along.
Now was not the time for him to worry about what had been. He just needed to make sure he got Kurt home. He didn't know how Professor Xavier could help, but Lance was at a loss. Besides, it's not like he could take on a teacher at the school. Something needed to happen and if Lance had to turn to the X-men to protect his friend, then so be it.
But this wasn't working. Judging by the sliver of red on the horizon, it had nearly been fifteen minutes since they left the school and they had barely made any headway. Half afraid that they would be stopped by some busybody who suspected them of imbibing, Lance looked for a place he could rest for a spell.
Spotting a section of sidewalk where a few brown leaves clung tenaciously to a group of trees, Lance swerved them in that direction. He led them behind a particularly thick trunk so they could be blocked from any prying eyes. As Lance slowly let go, Kurt practically melted to the ground. Knees splayed under him, he rested most of his weight on his hands as he leaned forward. Lance knelt down beside him on to the carpet of leaves covering the grass. He hesitated a second before placing a reassuring hand on Kurt's shoulder to give physical and mental support.
"Hey, how're you holding up?"
After a few seconds, Lance was almost sure that Kurt hadn't heard him or was too far gone, until he received a quivering, unintelligible reply. Lance couldn't tell if what Kurt said was heavily accented English or in German. Perhaps the drug had affected Kurt so much that he was having difficulty talking in his non-native language.
"Um, was that English or German?" Lance asked.
"I don't want to go." Kurt began, his accent still thick but he was trying his best to enunciate clearly enough for Lance to understand.
"Go?"
"To the mansion." Kurt's head was still hanging down, so Lance couldn't tell what expression crossed his face.
"But, you said you wanted to go home, right? And they can help and…" Lance trailed off as Kurt started speaking.
"Then they'll know," he said in a bare whisper.
Lance couldn't stand it anymore. He reached forward to gently push back Kurt's hair and tilt his head so he could see his eyes. He could see fear mixed in with despair as barely held back tears gathered in his eyes.
"Whatever it is you're thinking, you need to stop. It'll be ok. They'll help out. It's what you guys do."
"I didn't… I didn't want Trieg to t-touch me." By now, Kurt was holding on to Lance like a lifeline, his hands weakly grasping Lance's shoulders.
Lance's heart constricted at the desperation so blatantly displayed on Kurt's face. The dried blood still smeared across his lips remained a testament to the violence that Trieg had employed.
Reaching out, he took Kurt's shoulders in a reassuring hold. "I know." Lance didn't receive any response to that. Only the noise of the traffic muffled by the trees breached the silence. He let Kurt recompose himself, familiar with how embarrassing it was to be so vulnerable in front of someone, even if it was a friend. After a minute or two, knowing they couldn't stay crouched there forever, Lance said, "I don't think we can get much further walking like this."
"It's hard to… konzentrieren. Gott. Everything's still spinning." Kurt's hands had fallen from Lance's shoulders and were once again supporting his weight as he leaned heavily against them.
"Then that decides it. I'm going to carry you. No protesting," Lance commanded as he combined both of their bags into one that he could sling over his back. Standing up first, Lance helped Kurt up to his feet. Kurt leaned into his chest, still unable to remain upright on his own. Under different circumstances, Lance would've been excited by their close proximity. However, the only emotions he could feel were a deep despondency and barely capped rage at Trieg.
Bending down, Lance gathered Kurt up so that he was holding him bridal style.
"Better?"
Kurt rested his head against Lance's chest before shaking his head in response to Lance's question.
"What the hell did Trieg give you?" Lance angrily muttered to himself. He brought them back to the sidewalk and headed on their way.
The sun had not lingered. For brief instances, Lance and Kurt were illuminated by passing cars' headlights before again being shadowed by the night. The closer they got to the mansion, the lighter traffic became until scarce cars were on the road. This was fine by Lance. It was a private moment, and he was doing his best to radiate out any comfort he could to Kurt.
It still took a good bit to reach the mansion even though their pace was faster now that Lance was carrying Kurt.
Lance had to battle to open the gate to the mansion, but seeing their destination looming out of the darkness was a relief. Outside of the wooden front doors, Lance put Kurt down so that he could have a hand free. Deprived of all strength, Kurt sunk to the ground.
Before Lance could even get a chance to knock, the door was thrown open, golden light from the front hallway streamed down upon them.
"Where is he?" Logan demanded as his stare pierced through Lance.
A bit startled, Lance recovered quickly. He didn't answer him, but instead helped Kurt up again. They staggered into the open door, forcing Logan to move aside.
Lance paused, unsure of where to go.
"In there," Logan pointed down the hallway to the living room where soft yellow emanated.
Their wavering walk almost caused them to trip over the clawed foot of a wooden entry table, but Lance was able to catch himself on the edge. He could hear Logan's growls of impatience and anger, but he didn't seem to be willing to help. He hoisted them back up, and not wanting to be subjected to Logan's judgment any longer, made the executive decision to just carry Kurt the rest of the way.
As expected, Professor Xavier awaited them in the living room. Ignoring him too, Lance walked across the plush rug to lay Kurt upon the mahogany leather couch. Lance had no idea how this impending conversation was going to go. All he really wanted to do was just sit by Kurt. Not deal with the inevitable yelling and blame dealing.
And sure enough, as soon as Logan entered, the diatribe started.
"What the hell were you two doing? Getting here so late. And why the hell were you and Kurt hanging out together? What, did you two decide to become drinking buddies? Getting drunk on a school night too."
"Logan, enough," Professor X said, but Logan wasn't finished yet.
"No, I don't think so, Chuck. Of Lance, I expected this. But of Kurt? What an irresponsible, bone-headed thing to do. And not just drunk, but black-out drunk… "
Logan continued on, but Lance had had enough. He was infuriated. This was not what Kurt or even himself needed right now. He watched as Kurt curled in on himself as if he could block out Logan's rant.
"He's not drunk, you fucking idiot! He's drugged." That shut him up.
A shock spread through the room before Professor X spoke. "What do you mean, drugged? Please explain."
At first, Lance wanted to refuse just to be obstinate, but he knew that would be childish and unhelpful. Still, he hesitated. He looked towards the open archway that led to the grand hallway and staircase. He really didn't want any of the others to listen in.
"I assure you, no one else will be intruding upon this conversation. Please speak freely."
Figuring that the Professor would at least respect Kurt enough to guarantee privacy, Lance recounted what he had walked in on in the locker room. There wasn't much to tell as he only caught the end of the incident, but nevertheless, it was draining to have to relive those tense moments again. As he finished, he sank into a soft armchair across from Logan whose fists were strained with contained rage.
A silence permeated the room.
Lance felt like he was about to burst from the tension before the Professor said, "Thank you, for helping Kurt tonight. I know you two have your differences, but tonight you really showed a true strength of character."
"We don't anymore." Receiving a questioning look from Professor X, Lance continued. "We don't have differences. Well, we do I guess. Kinda big ones, but it doesn't matter. We're friends." It was strange, saying those words out loud, but Lance wasn't going to back down.
"Oh."
Growing defensive, Lance's voice rose. "Yeah, oh. And you can't do anything about it."
The Professor held up a hand to stave off Lance's anger. "That wasn't my intent. It was merely surprising as I hadn't heard Kurt mention this, but then again neither have I heard anything about Coach Trieg. He can be very private."
"Yeah. He never mentioned anything to me either. But…" Lance trailed off, thinking of all the times he dismissed Trieg's closeness or the times when Kurt had seemed distressed after one of his "conversations" with Trieg.
"Do you know how long this has been going on?"
Lance shook his head. "I dunno. But there's been moments. Like once I caught Trieg really close to Kurt in the locker room. Kurt said that Trieg had been kinda touchy but never like that. That was just last Friday. God, I told him to go talk to Trieg. That he could sort it out that way. How fucking naive."
"You didn't know. None of us know to what extent this has been happening."
"Why didn't he say anything?" Logan finally chimed in. Lance had thought he had shut down, his brain too primal to deal with something so complicated.
Still, Lance had been asking himself that same question. It was a horrible thought, but somehow knowing that Kurt hadn't said anything to Professor X or the others made him feel pleased.
"If I hadn't forgotten my bag…" Lance thought out loud.
"No more what ifs and we'll deal with the whys later. All I'm concerned with is the now." With that the Professor wheeled over to Kurt. "Kurt, can you please look at me?" He requested.
After a second, Kurt slowly turned over to face the Professor. Gently, the Professor took Kurt's hand and removed his inducer. The ersatz image faded away, revealing his true self. Not voicing his opinion, Lance was silently glad that the Professor had taken it off. Sometimes it felt like Kurt used it to hide.
The watch clunked as it was set on the side table.
"I assume you've been listening."
"Ja," came the tired response.
"How are you feeling?"
This time the Professor only received squeezed eyes and a slight shake of a head.
"Perhaps I should have Hank come and examine you. How long has it been since he ingested the drug?"
It took Lance a second to realize the Professor was addressing him. Looking towards the clock on the mantle, Lance briefly calculated in his head. "Probably at least 2 hours. It was kinda a long walk here."
"I imagine."
"Two hours. How long will it take for it to run through his system?" Logan asked, now coming to stand behind Professor X. Though his stance was tense, his softened tone reflected his concern for his student.
"I'm unsure. I'll have Hank up here briefly."
The Professor closed his eyes, blocking out the rest of the room. Lance assumed the Professor was contacting Dr. McCoy via telepathy.
"There's blood on his lips," Logan observed as he turned, what seemed to Lance, an accusing stare towards him.
"All I saw was Trieg licking it from his lips when I walked in," Lance responded, arms crossed over his chest.
Logan's face darkened. "That little detail just slip your mind? How long did it really take for you to act?"
"And what does that mean?" Lance returned just as snidely.
"You heard me. You and Kurt never got along before and now suddenly you're his hero? I bet you stood there watching for a bit. Getting some vengeance kick…"
"Stop, bitte," Kurt pleaded, voice faint and unheeded. He had thrown a hand up to his head, as if somehow he could contain his rotating world. Everyone's voice was like a bombardment of ping pong balls, bouncing rapidly about his head. He just needed solitude and quiet, but even closing his eyes didn't help. In fact, it almost made it worse - like he was in a whirling vortex of blackness. With his eyes open, at least he could see the room and feel grounded. He tried to focus on the feel of his hand on his head. It didn't help.
The cacophony of the argument was reaching a crescendo when suddenly the Professor barked out, "Both of you. That's enough." The immediate silence was a blessing. Now that he had their attention, the Professor calmly tried to bring the tension of the room down. "I know emotions are high right now, but it's better if we did our best to remain calm." He directed a meaningful glance from Logan and Lance, making sure he had their gazes before directing them to Kurt's pitiful form.
"Right. Sorry, kid," Logan grumbled out.
Lance didn't know if Logan was directing that to him or Kurt, so didn't say anything. He did, however, relax his stance.
"Now, Kurt. You'll have to do your best to be as forthcoming as possible with Hank. You can't hold back how you're feeling," the Professor said. After receiving no response, the Professor tried again. "Kurt?"
"…Ja, okay."
It didn't take long for a concerned Hank to join them. His face was awash with worry, but as soon as he knelt down beside Kurt, he regained his composure, ready to instill comfort to his patient.
After taking Kurt's pulse and shining a penlight into his glassy eyes, Hank asked a few questions directed towards Kurt and Lance. It was a bit of a struggle to get Kurt to answer clearly - his slurred accent obscuring his answers or with the need to stop a few times to refocus his attention.
Hank sank back onto his haunches before voicing his thoughts. "I'm unclear as to what drug was employed. If only I had a sample, then I'd be able to determine its effects. But I suppose I could draw some of Kurt's blood and -"
"Actually," Lance began as he bent down to pick up his and Kurt's bags, "there was still water left in Kurt's water bottle. I think that's what Trieg used." He rummaged around a bit before pulling out said navy blue water bottle.
"That is fortuitous," Hank said as he retrieved the bottle from Lance. "It will take awhile for me to examine it, though."
"How long do you think he'll be like this?" Logan asked as he gestured towards Kurt who had his eyes partly closed.
"With Kurt's faster metabolism, I believe the drug was able to act more rapidly and became more potent. It might have a longer effect than usual. Once I determine the exact drug used, I will relay more detailed information." Concern blatant on his face, Hank looked back at Kurt. "For now, perhaps it would be best if he slept it off as there doesn't seem to be any severe detrimental side effects."
"Sounds like the best course of action right now," the Professor said.
Lance couldn't help but agree. Kurt looked absolutely drained, and if Lance was in his position, all he'd want to do is curl up in his bed and shut out the rest of the world.
"I'll take him up to his room." Logan walked over to Kurt and easily picked him up off the couch. Kurt didn't protest but merely slid a boneless arm around Logan's neck.
"I'm sorry," Kurt mumbled into Logan's chest.
"It's no problem carrying you."
Kurt shook his head, frustrated that Logan had misunderstood. "Sorry about..." He trailed off, but this time Logan cottoned on.
"Don't apologize. What happened wasn't your fault." Logan barely prevented himself from growling that out, suppressing his anger at this Coach Trieg so as to not agitate Kurt. He exchanged worried looks with everyone else in the room.
"Thank you, Logan. Please stay with him until I finish down here. Then, I will monitor him as a precaution through the night," the Professor said.
Logan nodded and started making his way out of the living room, but a light tug on his shirt brought him to a halt. Looking down, he saw that Kurt was struggling to focus to relay something.
"Video. In the locker room."
"You're not making much sense, Elf."
"No, wait!" Lance interjected. He walked around the coffee table towards Logan. "The school put up some video cameras in the locker room to stop people from stealing shit. I bet it caught the whole thing."
The Professor leaned forward. "You said that Kurt's inducer was off when you walked in."
"Yeah."
"And that you used your powers."
"Yeah, what of it." Lance crossed his arms. Sure that the Professor was going to reprimand him.
"Then we must take all precautions. If Trieg is aware of the video…. We simply cannot let him have such leverage in his hands. Logan, I'm counting on you to retrieve it. The sooner, the better."
Logan sharply nodded his head before continuing up the stairs.
"I will head to my lab and see what I can determine," Hank said as he held aloft the water bottle.
Leaving just the Professor and Lance.
Lance shuffled his feet, feeling awkward.
"I want to thank you, Lance."
"Oh yeah?" Lance said sarcastically, still unsure of his reception by the X-men.
"Yes, I do. Without your intervention, tonight could've gone horribly different."
It was silly, but the Professor's genuine gratitude kinda made Lance feel like a hero. He liked it.
"There is always room at the mansion for one more." The Professor's gaze was sharp and piercing. He didn't mean just staying for the night.
"Thanks but no thanks." He may've helped Kurt and always would. He may, possibly, perhaps, most likely even have a crush on him, but after tonight, he was more convinced that the Brotherhood was right. Humanity was scum.
The Professor just nodded in response as he gestured towards the front door. "If you don't mind, I'll call for Ororo to come and give you a ride home."
Lance would've preferred to refuse but it was a long trek back. "Thanks," he mumbled. He was not looking forward to the awkward car ride.
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The mid-afternoon sun brought slight warmth on a rather chilly day. Lance kicked through the leaves covering the ground as he made his way through the tree-covered path to the park proper. He had ditched school early - skipping last period and gymnastics practice. He had been halfway to the X-mansion before he even realized where he was headed. But he couldn't just show up at the door unannounced. So, instead he had pulled off into the tiny, secluded park Kurt had introduced to him.
He sighed in relief as he saw that he had the park to himself. He made his way to one of the two picnic tables and climbed up to sit. With arms resting on knees, at first, Lance just stared, sorting his thoughts. He sat and watched a lone paper bag drift across the rest of the dried grass until it finally caught up on a lower branch of a tree.
Without thinking, he pulled out his cellphone but didn't unlock it. It remained clutched in his hand unused. He wanted to desperately text Kurt. To ask him how he was doing. He wanted to tell him how he almost slugged Trieg when he caught sight of him and had ended up skipping practice. And what about Mark? Should he tell him anything even? He hadn't sat with him at lunch, knowing Mark would ask about Kurt, and that there was no way Lance could've controlled his emotions to not reveal that something had happened.
Knowing he couldn't put all his thoughts in a text, he shoved his unused phone back in his pocket. Could he have done something different yesterday or even before then? He should've seen it. Should've made sure that Kurt wasn't skimping on the truth. How long had Trieg been even doing it and to what extent?
He fault nauseous each time he thought of it. The locker room scene flashed again in front of his eyes. He desperately wanted to see the video Logan had probably retrieved – to know everything that had happened before he'd walked in - but at the same time wanted to burn the evidence in a smoldering pile - preferably on top of Trieg's dick.
Lance's violent thoughts were interrupted as a group of college-aged guys waltzed into his park. They were holding a basketball and barely even spared him a glance as they started up their game. Annoyed, Lance threw them a few dirty looks, but they didn't seem to notice. Trying to block out the echoing, rhythmic sound as the basketball hit the concrete, he gazed up at Kurt's Frisbee still wedged in the tree.
Staring at the disc – its bright red blurring with the dark branches of the trees - his mind fell easily back into its rumination. On their walk home. That despair that had lingered on Kurt's face and his barely contained tears. What if even now he was in his bedroom, distraught and alone? He wanted to be there with him. To kiss his tears. Lance jerked back at that thought. Not only was he back to his stupid crush, it was a flight of extreme mushiness. Some ridiculous cliché that he'd seen in movies, but still… that desire to ease Kurt's pain was there. It wouldn't work like in the movies as some magical kiss that would vanquish all problems. Besides, he'd never do something so… so white knight. And he doubt Kurt would appreciate it much either. But still he wanted to, needed to do something.
He sighed to himself. How was it that once he realized he liked Kurt in that way that all his thoughts had to betray him, especially after he tried to bury them under 10 feet of denial. He really wanted to talk to someone about this but the only other one besides Kurt was Mark. What would Mark even say or think? Maybe he could help him get past this strange aberration. Get back to normality.
Any more of his thoughts were interrupted as a hand waved in front of his face.
"Yoo hoo, earth to strange kid sitting on the bench."
Lance looked up, disgruntled at being disturbed. "What?"
One of the college boys was standing in front of him, sweat glistening from his shaved head. "You play ball? We lost a member due to girlfriend duties."
Lance's first inclination was to refuse, but maybe it would be good to get a break from his thoughts. "Yeah, sure. Just make sure I'm on the winning team."
The boy chuckled. "You'll be on mine, so no problem there."
Lance spent the rest of the afternoon, playing the pickup game, his problems shunted to one side for the time being.
Kurt sat pensively on the floor with his legs curled up, arms hugged around his knees while leaning his back against his bed. The gauzy curtains fluttered in the slight breeze flowing in from the open French doors. He stared outside at the bare limbs of the giant Oak that stood guard over his room.
Or more like he stared straight past the majestic tree, wrapped up in his thoughts. Yesterday had been difficult to say the least. He had lain awake most of the night and half of the day, encumbered by the ceaseless movement of the room around him. Said sensation followed him into any small amount of sleep he did happen to catch. It was like being stuck on a teacup ride he couldn't get off. He remembered Logan, Professor X, or Hank checking in on him or having hushed conversations near the threshold to his room. But it wasn't until late afternoon that the fog lifted and relief came in the form of deep sleep. He must've slept for a long while after as it was morning light the next time he woke. For a moment, he had remained tucked under the covers, hoping that the recollection of that night would scatter like a fading nightmare. Instead, those memories bubbled up to the surface of his thoughts like acid.
Though he had no intention on going to school, he had gone through his morning routine, hoping the rote motions would help keep his thoughts at bay. The shower felt nice and so did getting into clean clothes; but otherwise, his mind remained turbulent.
And so he ended curled up on the floor, his damp hair most likely leaving a wet spot on his bedspread behind him.
Just knowing that Professor X and them knew…
And Lance…
His agonizing was interrupted by the shuffling of heavy footsteps and accompanying weighty sigh that belonged to Logan.
"Hey."
Kurt huddled deeper into himself, but responded with a small, "Hey." He was almost afraid of looking back to see Logan's expression.
There was a pause of uncomfortable silence before Logan spoke up again. "Breakfast?"
Kurt just shook his head. He was in no mood to eat.
Logan gave a noncommittal reply.
This time Kurt did risk a peek at Logan. He wasn't getting much idea into Logan's thoughts from his monotonous responses. He stood with his burly arms crossed, gaze focused out the doors. His expression stony. Logan must've sensed him looking as his eyes slid to meet his.
Kurt quickly looked away.
After a pause where Kurt was sure Logan's intense gaze was studying him, Logan finally said, "It's time the Professor and you and I have a talk."
Kurt knew the moment Logan walked in that this was inevitable. He squeezed his knees, dreading the conversation, but in the end just nodded reluctantly before standing up.
The walk downstairs to the Professor's office was long and just as full of awkward silence as Logan's visit to his room. The Professor was typing away at his keyboard upon their entry into the office. The wooden blinds were raised to let the morning light stream through and coat the room in rich warm browns. Kurt wanted to run over and close them, as if he could prevent the rest of the world from hearing the impending conversation.
"Please, take a seat. This will be but a moment," the Professor said as he looked up. A dim smile crossed his face in greeting before he returned to typing. Most likely a business email.
Feeling exposed standing, Kurt took Professor X's offer and curled up in one of the leatherback seats that faced his desk. Logan sat in the other, leaning back in the chair - his crossed arms belying his relaxed posture. For a few minutes, just the sound of the clacking of the keyboard filled the room until finally the Professor turned away from his computer.
"I'm sorry for the delay," the Professor said. "Kurt, how are you feeling?"
"Fine." Kurt's reply was automatic. Some habits were hard to break.
"So you feel no ill effects from the drug?" the Professor pressed.
"Like I finally stepped off an endless tilt-a-whirl, so that's a plus," Kurt tried to joke but his heart wasn't in it. "Ja, I'm ok."
"Hank finished examining the drug and said that there should be no other ill effects, but I want to confirm with you."
Kurt shook his head. "No, I'm really ok." Physically, it seemed he had recovered just fine now that the drug had passed through his system.
"Excellent," the Professor said as he rolled around to stop in front of Logan and Kurt. This conversation was more personal, he didn't want to seem barricaded behind his desk.
Kurt hugged his arms around his legs and looked away from him, anticipating the shift in tone.
The Professor's expression turned grave. "In full disclosure, Logan, Ororo, Hank and I watched the video file Logan was able to retrieve." Professor X took in the tensing of Kurt's shoulders and his guarded posture and knew he had made the right decision to have just him and Logan present. With all the teachers present, the conversation would end up feeling more like an interrogation, which was precisely the exact opposite he was hoping to achieve. But it was still difficult to know how to proceed. "I am truly sorry that something like this happened. It was difficult to watch but necessary to have complete knowledge of the situation so we can handle it appropriately."
Kurt felt a sickness spreading through him. Knowing that they had all seen what had happened. Knowing that his actions, or more like inactions, had led to this point. It was like his chest was being compressed.
"You know, this isn't your fault," Logan interrupted the impending silence.
Kurt slightly nodded his head. He saw the Professor exchange a look with Logan. They didn't believe him. He didn't even believe himself.
The Professor reaffirmed. "Logan is right. It is obvious from the video that you did resist him. Though, in those situations, please know you should absolutely use your powers to protect yourself. Your safety is my first concern."
"I did try. But I couldn't. I felt like I was going to pass out instead of teleporting."
"Hank did say the drug was very potent," Logan commented.
"It was awful. I couldn't…." Kurt trailed off, remembering how helpless he felt but not knowing how to, not wanting to put that into words. And then there were the times when he could have teleported away and didn't.…
The Professor waited, wanting to see if Kurt would continue, but Kurt could be particularly reticent, especially when it involved his own problems. When it was obvious that Kurt wasn't going to continue, the Professor decided to steer the conversation as delicately as he could.
"Lance mentioned that this was not the first instance. Could you explain what he meant?"
Kurt felt like a hard lump was caught in his throat. He bought his knees up in front of him before answering in a shaky voice. "Coach Trieg, he… before this happened, he would…." He paused for a second, trying to rein in his emotions, but it was like trying to catch water with a sieve. Everything – the memories, shame and embarrassment - was too close. "It wasn't as bad as what he did in the locker room. At first I thought it was just him being overly friendly or something. But then…." Kurt took a breath, trying to gather the courage. His fingers wrapped tightly around his arms. "…Other times… he touched me…." He finished in a bare whisper.
"Has he drugged you before then?" Logan's voice seemed painfully loud.
The question cut deep and was enough to make Kurt relinquish the meager hold he had on his emotions. His voice hitched as silent tears escaped. He hid his face in the crook of his elbow that was resting on his knees. "No, I… just let him. I didn't…I didn't stop him."
The Professor felt his heart clench. He regretted not inviting Ororo to this talk. Neither he nor Logan was demonstrative, but he couldn't just sit passively while Kurt suffered. Yet what could he say?
Kurt continued on, "He probably thought it was ok. Like I consented and I let him go so far. Then –"
Logan abruptly stood up, causing Kurt to stop and briefly look up. He was worried about what Logan might do now that he knew the full truth. Was he going to just walk out in disgust?
Instead, Logan went to stand directly in front of Kurt and put both of his hands on Kurt's shoulders. His grip was firm but not painful. "Look at me."
Kurt surreptitiously wiped his eyes before returning Logan's resolute stare.
"You are not at fault. There is absolutely no excuse for Trieg's actions."
Kurt couldn't maintain Logan's gaze. They just didn't understand. "It wasn't just one time that I let him…. And Coach Trieg said that –"
"Whatever that bastard said has no bearing. You hear me?" Logan shook Kurt, trying to emphasize his point. "None of what he said fucking matters."
"Logan," the Professor warned, which was enough to draw Logan's attention to his growing temper. He took a step back, seeing that his burst of anger had caused Kurt to draw more in on himself if that was even possible. Breathing deeply, Logan got himself back under control.
Wanting to get back on track and to find out how exactly the situation came to this, the Professor asked, "Kurt, you said that Trieg was being overly friendly. Can you please explain what you mean?"
Kurt nodded but didn't speak. It was just too difficult to start, to have to confess. He didn't want to start crying again.
Seeing that he needed prompting, the Professor started asking guiding questions. "How long has this been happening?"
"I-I guess since gymnastics started but he wasn't always so… intrusive."
"By overly friendly, do you mean physically?"
"Ja."
"Like how Logan just put his hands on your shoulders?"
Kurt shook his head. Logan had never approached him the way Trieg had. How could he have ever thought that what Trieg did was normal? "No, it was different. With different intentions."
"But then he grew more aggressive. Touching you."
Each question was harder and harder to answer. Like hooks digging into his chest and being slowly pulled apart. This time, Kurt only nodded in response.
"When he touched you, did he touch you on top of or under your clothes?"
Mortified, Kurt barely whispered out, "On top of." He couldn't look at either of them and instead studied his knees.
"Could you tell us where?"
"A-Along my…." Kurt gripped his legs tight. It was like a physical hurt having to reveal everything Trieg did. "Along my thigh… and higher." Just thinking about it, he could still feel his burning touch.
Logan's heavy breathing caused Kurt to look up at him. His fists were in such tight grips, his knuckles were white.
"Did he ever force you to touch him?"
An overwhelming shame engulfed him, causing a few more tears to escape. "…Just once."
"Just once is already too many." Logan's voice came out gruff but he didn't say anything else.
"Was there a reason why you felt obligated to allow him such leeway?"
Kurt just shrugged. His reasoning before now just sounded so irrational and inane.
"Please, try to explain."
"I dunno. I thought at first he was just being friendly in his own way. But then he started getting … bold." Kurt glanced briefly at the Professor before quickly looking away. "And he said I should be listening to him and how disrespectful it was not to. That I should trust him."
"Manipulative bastard," Logan spat.
"Strange," the Professor murmured.
Kurt looked over to him. So far, the Professor seemed to be remaining calm; his expression never wavered from composed, as if this was some normal, everyday occurrence. It somehow made him feel worse. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal. It's not like he was raped or anything.
"What's strange?" Logan asked.
Unaware of the turmoil his forced calm was causing, the Professor voiced his thoughts. "At first, it sounds like Trieg was trying to manipulate you, but then suddenly he turned to drugging you to force you instead. Was there perhaps a catalyst, something that happened, that would cause him to resort to such tactics?"
Trieg's veiled threat from Monday rang in Kurt's ears. "I went to talk to him about it. Tell him I didn't like it. He became forceful and… I pushed him off of me. He didn't like that."
"This was on Lance's suggestion, correct?"
Kurt leaned forward. He didn't want them to get the wrong impression of Lance. Not when Lance was trying to make efforts to change. "Ja, but don't blame him. I didn't tell him everything that Trieg was doing."
"We don't blame him, Elf. In fact, I'm pretty shocked at how much he seems to care," Logan said as he sat back down. "But, why didn't you say anything before? To us or anyone?"
Unable to put his reasoning into words, Kurt shrugged as he shrunk back into the chair.
Based on Kurt's reactions and what he said so far, the Professor could tell that Kurt already placed unwarranted blame on himself. While he understand Logan's confoundedness, he didn't want Kurt to feel any more unnecessary culpability. "This isn't something that is easy to discuss. With anyone. But I want you to know, that we're here for you. It doesn't matter that you couldn't say anything before. Or even if you feel like you can't say anything now. Just know that we're here to help."
Kurt didn't say anything in response.
They all sat there for an uncomfortable minute, all stewing in their own thoughts.
"Can I leave now?" Kurt had wanted to escape through the whole conversation but now seemed like a perfect time to make his exit.
The Professor sighed, not knowing what else to say that could help him. "Yes, unless there's anything else you'd like to tell us?"
A thousand thoughts ran through his head, but Kurt just shook his head no.
"Do your best to relax. When the others get home, Rogue will be bringing home make-up work for the rest of the week. They aren't yet aware of the true reason behind your absence."
The thought of having to tell the others churned his stomach but something else the Professor said caught his attention. "Rest of the week? But I figured I'd go back tomorrow."
"I don't want you there at the school while Trieg is still present. Until I can take care of Trieg, you will stay here."
Kurt was taken aback. Not that he necessarily wanted to go back and face Trieg, but he didn't want to sit around in his room. It would just lead to him remembering and thinking. Did the Professor think he was weak? He knew he should've done something before but he just couldn't. And now it seemed he had lost the Professor's respect. Maybe the Professor thought he was being too emotional about this. Taking it too hard.
Feeling slightly guilty, the Professor skimmed Kurt's thoughts. Kurt wasn't exactly forthcoming but the emotions reflected on his face caused him alarm. He was too worried that he had somehow made the situation worse. Luckily, Kurt was thinking in English as he tended to do when holding a conversation in said language. And it seemed he was right. Somehow, instead of conveying calm and sympathy, he'd projected an attitude of apathy and disappointment. He had to fix this.
"Please don't misunderstand. What happened was horrible. I, in no way, blame you. I don't think you're weak. And I don't think you're being too emotional. This situation isn't easily handled. I still don't want you to return to school yet, but it's not you that I doubt. Trieg snuck and surreptitiously drugged your water. Who knows what he might resort to next. I-"
"Don't," Kurt interrupted. "Don't read my thoughts."
The Professor sat stunned for a second. He was so concerned with saying the right thing that he hadn't thought about how invasive he was being. Before he could respond, Kurt had teleported away.
"Well, that didn't end well," Logan bluntly said as he shifted back in his seat.
The Professor sighed and rubbed his eyes. "No, it did not. He's right, though. I shouldn't have done that. I just wanted to –"
Logan waved him off. "No need to explain, Chuck. This conversation, the whole thing. We don't know what we're doing and we both messed up, but at least we tried."
"Do you think I made it worse?"
"Hard to say. Kurt's a tough one. But for someone really good at helping others out with their problems, he sure doesn't accept help easily."
"If only he had come to us sooner. Watching that video…" The Professor trailed off as images from it flashed through his mind.
"It was rough," Logan answered huskily. He looked over to the Professor's desk. Though he had erased all evidence of it from the school's systems, he knew the file still festered on the Professor's computer.
Breaking his thoughts away, the Professor brought to attention another matter. "I'm also worried that it seems he feels like it's his fault that this happened."
Logan tore his eyes away from the computer and nodded. "Yeah. That night he apologized. Actually apologized like he had messed up. I doubt much has changed since then."
"Knowing Kurt, he's not going to say anything about that. Or even bring up Coach Trieg again."
"Not likely, but we gotta make him. We gotta keep talking to him. Try and get through to him."
"What else can we do," the Professor said resignedly.
"You know, I've been thinking." The Professor looked up in surprise, not expecting an answer to his rhetorical question. "Though it may not help with the matter at hand, but I think we should – that is all the staff – should get child abuse training."
"That is an excellent suggestion. I was remiss to not even think about it. I just wish I'd thought of it earlier. Then perhaps we might've seen something."
"Don't know if it would've helped in this situation. I had no clue that anything was bothering Kurt. Hell, I didn't even know he and Lance were hanging out."
"It seemed none of us knew." The Professor shook his head. He wondered if he'd been lax in working with his students. It was good that he provided a school for them to master their powers, but that wasn't his sole purpose of starting it. He also wanted to provide a safe haven for mutants, a place where they got the support they needed that might be missing in their lives, whether because of their powers or not. Somehow that goal had gotten shunted to the side.
"You've been silent awhile. What're ya thinking, Chuck?"
"Just that perhaps we need to focus on building up relationships with the students. And not just in combat situations."
"They're teenagers. They're not going to be so gung-ho on opening up."
"I know," the Professor sighed, "as evinced by Kurt. But as also shown, it's important that we build a solid foundation of support. Maybe if one of us had that relationship with him, he would've said something sooner."
"He knows we're here for them. They all do."
"We can say that all we want, but I think we also need to start showing interest. Take the initiative." The more he spoke, the more the Professor began feeling convinced that this was the best route to reform his school to the best interest of his students. "This goes for all of our students, any current and future ones. We need to let them know that we're not just here for them, but we want them to come to us."
"I get what you're saying, Chuck. But I dunno…"
"The least we can do is try."
"So just start holding conversations with them?" Doubt filled Logan's voice."Just go up to them and say any problems lately you wanna talk about? Been sexually harassed or assaulted lately?"
"Logan," the Professor reprimanded. "That is not what I meant."
"Sorry, Chuck. I know. And it's not a half bad idea, but maybe it'd be better if you left this to Ororo. I'm not so good with this stuff."
"You're selling yourself short. You have a pretty strong relationship with Kitty already."
"Yeah, cause she asks for advice. While others…"
"Not all students are going to be as open. We have to put forth the effort."
"Yeah. I'm just worried that I'll fuck things up. What if we can't get through to him?"
The Professor knew that at the heart of the matter, they were both worried about Kurt. They could make general plans all they wanted to, but ultimately, they already had a student that needed immediate help. He sighed, "As you said, we have to keep trying. If we can't, then we'll have to turn to outside help."
"There isn't any outside help for him."
With Kurt, it was always a sticky situation because of his appearance. The Professor had always worried about him being gravely injured as taking him to a hospital would be out of the question. "We'll cross that bridge if we get there. For now, I want you and me to be the ones to talk to him."
"Alright." There wasn't really much else Logan could say. He had his doubts on his capability but it was more important that he did right by Kurt. "But in the meantime, what're we going to do about Trieg?"
The Professor's face darkened as his voice held a glacial edge. "I will handle him."
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
Trieg's office didn't hint at the underlying nature of the man. Hazy morning sunlight spilled in from the raised blinds behind his desk. Several frames holding pictures of smiling teams graced the wall while gleaming trophies glinted in a small glass case. A few heavy weights rested in a corner, an attestment to the man's dedication to fitness.
Professor Xavier took this all in while he waited for Trieg to join him. He began to study the pictures as he waited, wondering if other students seemingly so happy in the photos had also been violated by Trieg. As he eyes passed over a photo of a few students kneeling next to a soccer ball, he noticed one frame in particular that stood out. It hung slightly away from the grouping of pictures, placed conveniently closer to the desk. Sensing some sort of significance, the Professor turned to study the picture. It was of last year's gymnastics team with Kurt kneeling in front, seemingly laughing at something off camera. Shock quickly followed by dismay filled the Professor. Just how long had this been going on? The disparity between the happy Kurt in the picture and how he was yesterday – the Professor grew furious. It was one of the few times in his life where he found himself thinking of abusing his power. But he knew any type of action other than the one he had planned could make the situation worse.
He closed his eyes and calmly breathed for a few moments, reining in his temper. The click of the door opening caused him to open his eyes. He was ready for this confrontation. He had the upper hand, and he would make sure that he'd get the result he desired.
"Sorry to keep you so long…" Trieg trailed off, obviously unaware of the Professor's name.
"Professor Charles Xavier. Please call me Professor." The man didn't deserve the right to call him by his first name.
"Alright, Professor," Trieg said as he settled in behind his desk. "What can I do for you?"
The casual way that Trieg sat down, as if nothing was wrong, as if he hadn't done anything, incensed the Professor. The emotional chaos that Trieg had inflicted on Kurt, on them all… while Trieg just acted as if this was another humdrum day. That would soon change.
"You may not be aware, but I am Kurt's guardian." The Professor saw a flash of fear cross Trieg's face before it was quickly hidden. With that, he knew. He knew that Trieg was completely aware of his actions. Completely aware that what he did was a gross violation of his position as a teacher.
"Oh. Well then." The Professor watched Trieg stumble through his words. "Great. He's excellent at gymnastics. A great member of the team."
The Professor stared at him in return.
"Yes, really great. You should see him. In fact, our last tournament of the season is approaching. You should come."
The Professor continued to remain silent. His stare pierced through Trieg, willing the man to keep trying to act as if he hadn't molested his student.
"Of course, completely understand if you can't make it," Trieg said, a slight tremor of nervousness threading his voice. "But if you need any makeup work, you should go find his other teachers. They'll have what he needs."
If Trieg thought he could get rid of him that easily, he was sorely mistaken. By now, there could be no doubt that Trieg knew why he was there. Just before Trieg opened his mouth to fill the silence, he said, "I know what you did."
"W-What do you –?"
"No. You do not get to play dumb." The Professor had had enough. "You sexually assaulted my student, and most likely would've done worse if not for another student's interference."
"I did no such thing!" Despite Trieg's denial, his face didn't hold any hint of surprise at the accusation. "I would never –"
"You did. On Tuesday, you went so far as to drug Kurt. Force yourself on him."
"What? That is a bald-faced lie!" Trieg stood up, hands slapping the desk as his chair went flying back.
"And now you're calling him and Lance liars?" The Professor remained steadfast in the face of Trieg's outburst.
"Are you really going to believe two teenagers over me, their teacher? They're just making up stories. Probably to get attention from you."
"Yes, yes I do believe them over you." The Professor's voice was steely and firm. He watched the result of his blunt statement. Trieg's visage darkened. His hands clenched into tight fists, shaking in bare anger.
"You know what, fuck you. I'm the adult. The teacher. I deserve that respect."
"You deserve nothing but my utmost disdain."
"Is that so? What about Kurt then?"
The Professor was confused, unsure of what Trieg meant.
"He doesn't listen. Doesn't follow my orders. Yet you listen to him."
"You seem under the impression that you can change my mind or turn me against Kurt."
Trieg's face twisted into a snarl. "He wanted it. That's right. He's the one that made me do it. The way he talks to me. Looks at me. I know he wants it. He let me touch him before. It wasn't any different this time. It's all his fault."
The Professor saw red. He couldn't believe the gall of Trieg blaming Kurt. "No!" His voice boomed in the room physically and psionically, causing Trieg to give a violent start. "No," he stated again. The release of his powers helped ease his fury but not lessen it. "I will hear no more."
"Can't stand the truth?" Trieg crossed his arms triumphantly.
"Your twisted truth. A truth I don't think you honestly believe. You know fully well what you did. In fact, you even took steps to ensure that Kurt couldn't resist you."
"I told him. I told him what he needed to do. He didn't listen. I was just helping him get what he wanted."
"You manipulated. Drugged, sexually harassed and assaulted him."
Whatever Trieg was going to say in response, the Professor didn't care. He cut him off before he even could refute the charges again.
"I will not allow you to harm Kurt again. This is my ultimatum. Resign from your job. You are to come nowhere near Kurt or any other student for that matter."
"Resign? Or what?" Trieg scoffed. "You have no proof."
A cloud passed over the sun, briefly casting the room in shadow. "Do I not? Not even a sampling of the water you drugged." While there was video evidence, it wouldn't be viable as proof due to the fact Kurt was uninducered in it.
Backed into a corner, Trieg played his last card. "I'll go public with what a freak Kurt is."
The Professor was done. This man would do anything to get his way, and the Professor wanted to hear nothing else he had to say. He hadn't wanted to resort to this, but Trieg left him no choice. Entering his mind, the Professor magnified his voice to almost a painful level. You will do no such thing. You will resign and never come near the school or Kurt again. If you try to reveal him, if you dare to touch him or even talk to him again, I will not sit idly back. I'll reduce you to a sniveling invalid, incapable of thought beyond that of an infant .It wasn't a threat the Professor was yet willing to follow through with, but Trieg didn't need to know that detail. "Do I make myself clear?"
Trieg's eyes were wide with disbelief. He gaped for a few seconds. "You have power too."
"Yes, and I am not adverse to using it."
Trieg , still dazed, stared forward as his mind wrapped around the idea of another person with some type of special attribute. How many of them were there? It took him a few seconds before he regained his composure. "I-…. I could go to the press and -"
The Professor cut him off, already anticipating his argument. "No one would believe you and now you are the one with no proof."
"B-But I need this job. I need the money and –"
"That is not my problem. You don't belong anywhere near a school or young adults." The Professor headed to the door, ready to take leave of the horrid man. "You are to leave by the end of tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? That's crazy. You're being unreasonable."
"I am being far more reasonable than you have the right."
Trieg slammed his palms onto his desk, breathing heavily for a second before biting out a sharp, "Fine" accompanied by an acrid glare.
Tomorrow, the Professor reiterated mentally to remind Trieg of his threat. Satisfied that he got his point across and the desired outcome, the Professor let the door click behind him.
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Note: The next chapter will probably take awhile as I'm still thinking of what scenes are needed to get to the next big thing.