Hailey and Kim were sitting at a local bar having dinner. It's been almost a week since Blair got killed. Despite Kim acting on all fronts that she was coping as well as could be, everyone knew it for what it was- a front. Hailey knew probably more than most, since she was the queen of pretending everything is fine (except for with Jay, she always confides in him); which is why she suggested this outing to Kim. If she's being honest, it's probably been therapeutic for both of them. The two have been enjoying their girl time, as it doesn't happen often… and getting it all in before they'll be joined by Adam and Jay soon. The boys overheard them discussing it, and naturally asked if they can join; Adam wanting to be there for Kim now more than ever, and Jay just wanting to be around Hailey whenever he could. The girls have until the boys wrap up their latest CI cases.

Kim has been picking her food and amicable all night, tentatively opening up to Hailey a little bit. They've never been overly close, as Kim just gravitates to Kevin, Adam, and Antonio more… and Hailey just took to Jay the most since she transferred into the unit. Sometimes it's just great to have a fellow female on your side though, the mentality can be more aligned at times.

"I think, what's getting to me the most, is my guilt if I'm being honest. My whole thing with Blair was just kind of weird, I tried my best to explain it to Adam last week… part of me was falling for him, but the other part of me was holding back." Kim states after beating around the bush for a while.

Hailey looks at her sympathetically, especially because boy, can she relate! Kim pretty much summed up Hailey's whole relationship with Jay all these years in one sentence. Completely different circumstances of course, but it certainly sounds eerily familiar. Hailey nods at Kim, signaling for her to elaborate on, knowing she's not finished with her thought.

"Don't get me wrong, I had a blast any time I was with him. And I guess if I thought about it for a long moment, I could possibly see a future when I was with him… but there was always the issue of our jobs. I mean, the guy worked for KELTON, of all people! He's practically Voight's #1 nemesis right now, and that says a lot since Voight has an abundance. I don't think I was ready to choose Blair over my career, or vice-versa, or even if we would ever be. The only person I ever came super close to risking my career for willingly and being okay with it was Adam… and we all saw how that turned out!" Kim says sadly.

Hailey sits back and looks at Kim like she's her spirit animal right now. In all the years that Hailey's been on the force, there's obviously been a few job-related men she's dated… as much as she's hated it, it's hard not to with their line of work- you see and spend more time with your coworkers than anyone else, not to mention while risking your lives. There was the officer she dated while she was in the academy, which was intense, but brief. Then of course there was Garrett… which absolutely broke her when she lost him. She took a lot of shit for being with him, which at the time felt worth it… but losing him made her swear off romantic involvement with partners at all costs… something that was easy for her to stick to her guns with until Jay came along. And then Adam, which is laughable, because even though she cares for him, it was still something she foolishly fell into and would NEVER risk her career over him. Which brings her back to Jay, as always, and she knows if she truly takes the time to sit back and analyze everything, if it came down to Jay or her career… for the first time ever she's thinking she'd choose to have the former. Wow! Hailey's eyes widen slightly as that realization dawns on her. She never anticipated that she'd be the one having an awakening while trying to console Kim. She definitely needs more to drink now that it's hit her like a ton of bricks that her feelings for Jay are even more complicated (and all-consuming) than she realized. But that's going to have to wait… right now her priority is to help Kim, and she's surprised by the advice she's about to give.

"Kim, it's totally normal for you to feel guilt right now, you just lost someone you cared about… no matter how much or which way you cared about him. You're always going to wonder what could have gone differently if the person lived longer. It's okay that you're not sure where you saw your future with him- it will NEVER change the fact that you cared about him in the present, and I'm sure Blair knew that. As for Adam… and I know this is going to be weird coming from me given the past few months… I wouldn't write the end of that chapter off just yet. Like you said, it means something that he's the only one you were 100% willing to risk your career for… and having spent more time with him these past months than I ever did before, I can say without a doubt that he's never once stopped caring about you. I saw how he reacted when we got kidnapped, how he's tried to be your rock this whole week… the world works in mysterious ways… We could probably all use a lesson that some things, some feelings, are just simply out of our control, no matter how much we want to fight them."

Kim slowly smiles at Hailey, eyes agape, in shock how much Hailey just said to her; and in retrospect revealed about herself. She takes a sip of her wine, gradually processing it all.

"Thanks, Hailey. It means a lot, you listening and being here for me! As for the advice, it sounds like you could probably use some of it as well." She knowingly smirks at the detective. Hailey gives her a soft smile back.

"Kim, and I say this with love: Don'T Even Think About It!" she waves her fork at her.

Kim chuckles as she looks down and moves some food on her plate. "I'm just saying!"

When Kim looks back up she see the boys coming in the front door and heading towards their table. "Oh, what do you know, you're saved by Jay again!" she laughs and points at the boys approaching behind Hailey's back.

Hailey turns around to see Jay and Adam making their way towards them. She feels the same familiar butterflies in her stomach starting that she can't control anymore any time she sees Jay. Yea, she's definitely going to need to start drinking something harder than wine now…

"Well, if it isn't our favorite girls from Intelligence!" Adam says as he grabs a seat next to Kim.

"You mean the only two girls from Intelligence?" Kim says, bantering along like old times.

"You'd still be our fave even if there was a brothel of girls!" Adam winks at them.

"Oh, real nice!" Kim says shaking her head along with Hailey.

Jay slips down next to Hailey as this all goes on, rolling his eyes at Adam. "Hey." He says as he looks directly at her.

"Hey." She quietly responds, slightly blushing as her quick smile reaches her eyes. Kim glances at them with a perceptive look but doesn't dare comment.

With everything that happened with Blair this week, work had been super chaotic, and everyone wanted to be there to support Kim; so this was the first real time Hailey and Jay have spent together the past few days. The palpable tension obviously still simmering between them and getting close to boiling over.

"Did you guys eat yet?" Hailey says to both guys, hoping to alleviate the pull Jay has on her.

"Yea, we grabbed some Portillo's dogs on the way." Jay replies.

"Yea, I just want to drink at this point. You guys down to do a shot? I feel like we could all use and deserve one!" Adam asks. When Kim, Hailey, and Jay shrug and nod in agreement he flags the waiter over and orders a round.

The four of them spend the next hour or so trying to decompress and keep the mood light to help keep Kim's spirits high. It's something they've all needed after a completely atrocious week. Eventually Kim starts to slowly fade.

"I'm sorry to be a pooper guys, but I'm really tired. Hailey, is it okay if we leave now?" Kim asks.

Hailey is about to tell her 'of course' when Adam quickly chimes in.

"I can drive you home. I have to get to the precinct early tomorrow to write up reports. As long as you're cool to take Jay, Hailey?" he asks her as nonchalantly as possible, but the look on his face is blatantly obvious to her. She bites her lip trying to stop herself from shaking her head at him. Since when did Adam and Kim decide they want to be the death of her?

"Yea, of course I can take him, he's my partner… you guys get some rest!" she smirks at the former couple as they all say their goodbyes.

Once Adam and Kim leave, Jay and Hailey look around awkwardly for a minute, until Jay finally says; "Well, looks like it's just the Upton and Halstead show again… you wanna head out too?"

She shakes her head 'no' at him. "What I want is another shot, c'mon!" she stands up from the table and grabs his hand to lead him to the bar. Jay looks at her shocked, but doesn't question it. Something tells him he'll be driving Hailey's car tonight.

A few hours later Jay is inserting the key into Hailey's front door, letting them both inside. Hailey walks inside a little off balance… when she said she wanted shots, she meant it. He would have loved to keep drinking pace with her honestly, it's been a hell of a few months, but someone had to get them home responsibly. He's quite surprised Hailey allowed herself to get this way though, especially since she was the original driver… it shows him that 1) she must have really needed it, 2) she definitely trusts him explicitly to not only drive her new car, but count on him to get her back safe, and 3) she has to have a lot on her mind to give up this much control to alcohol; even on their worst days she's always restrained enough to not get too drunk. He watches her make her way over to her liquor cabinet and is now completely baffled that she intends to continue, he realizes he should stop her.

"Woah, Hailey, what are you doing? Haven't you had enough for tonight? I know you won't get sick because you can drink like a sailor, but we do have to work tomorrow!" he uses humor so he doesn't sound too lecturing.

"C'mon Halstead, just one more, have one with me! I feel bad that you didn't indulge to get my ass home. Thank you, by the way."

He knows it will be useless trying to argue with her, and besides, he really could use one; so he shrugs his shoulders and agrees.

"Ok, but I'm pouring!" he says as he makes his way over to her kitchen island and grabs the bottle from her hand.

"You're such a cop, Jay!" she says, slightly slurred and laughing as she makes her way over to her couch and plops down hard.

Jay chuckles watching her amused and rolling his eyes, he's kind of enjoying this carefree version of her. They haven't had a lot of it recently. He walks into the living room with the two glasses in hand and sits down next to her. She positively beams at him as he hands her one of the glasses.

"See, I knew I liked you Halstead!" she says before taking a gulp of the tequila.

"Well, I'm glad I can make you happy with your own hard-bought liquor supply."

"No, seriously Jay, you should become a bartender."

That triggers the best laugh he's had in a while, considering he literally just poured straight from the bottle. "WOW! I should get you drunk more often… I've gotten more compliments from you tonight than I have in two years."

She frowns at him with a side-eye shaking her head. "Don't get used to it, mister."

"Roger that… but seriously, Hailey, anything you want to talk about? It's not like you to get this drunk, everything okay? I know these past few months have been…"

She cuts him off, "Can't we just have this Jay? Can't we just have fun for one night and not think about all the chaos?"

He nods at her, totally getting it. "Yea, yea, of course we can!" He sits back settling in and letting himself relax for the first time in a while.

Their first drink turns into another couple as another hour or so goes by. They attempted to play the "Heads Up" game on Jay's phone, which failed epically due to Hailey's drunken condition. Then they decided to have an old school Thumb War, where Hailey lost terribly in that too, irking her to no end and amusing the hell out of Jay. Finally they settled on some comedy movie on Netflix, Jay continually staring at Hailey, his heart aching… wishing he could tell her how he really feels… especially in this moment, she's just adorable to him tonight. Everything with Kim and Blair reminded him again of just how short life is, and he wishes he had the balls to act. During a lull in the movie, Hailey breaks the silence- even more drunk than before.

"So your double-date is this weekend right?"

Jay raises his brow at her, intrigued to see where this is going to go. "Yea…. Why?"

"No reason. Just curious. That'll be fun. You see a picture of her yet?"

"Yea, Will pulled up her Instagram for me to see."

Jay watches Hailey hesitate as she speaks again. "Is she pretty?"

He wants to tell her this girl can't hold a candle to her, but knows it's simply not the time. "She's attractive."

"That's good, I'm happy for you! You deserve some time away from work stuff…." She drifts off as she goes to take another sip of her drink, realizing it's empty. "Oh damn, looks like it's time for another!" she says as she starts to stand up with intent to head to the kitchen.

"Hailey, I don't think that's a good idea. You've definitely had enough for a Wednesday night."

"I'm a big girl, Jay, I think I know my limits ok?" she says as she starts to step over his feet… losing balance and falling into his lap. Their position now quite compromising. He grabs onto her so she doesn't fall off of him.

Their faces are inches apart as they stare at each other, the moment lasting excruciatingly too long for either of their states of mind, their heartbeats accelerating. Jay stares into Hailey's eyes realizing everything is right there for him for the taking. He thinks he's going to have a heart attack when he watches her eyes flutter close and lean in closer, in his haze registering her whisper ever so longingly…

"Jay…"

This moment breaks him. He knows she's drunk and vulnerable and despite every impulse of wanting to, he just can't take advantage of that now. Fuck! He hates that he's such a respectable guy sometimes, at least when it comes to those he truly cares about. He gently tries to set her back on the cushion and off of him.

"We should probably call it a night, Hailey… we have to be at work in 6 hours." He says as softly and gently as possible.

He watches her open her eyes to see them cloud over with hurt and rejection and he hates himself. He's hoping his only saving grace is that she'll be too drunk to remember the entirety of this situation tomorrow. She quickly puts her guard back up and agrees.

"Yea…. You're right… I should get to bed." She slowly stands up again with his help.

As she starts making her way to her room she looks at him casually and says, "You know where the blankets are, help yourself to the couch. I'll drive you to your place in the morning before work."

He wants to call after her, but knows it would be moot at this point in their state to talk. Instead he settles on silently watching her walk away from him, his heart breaking a little more with every further step. Neither realizing that that night, behind a single wall separating them (figuratively and literally), they're both lying awake for a while longer sulking over another missed moment… The world certainly does work in mysterious ways…

[A/N: Figured I'd jam one more update in during the show's 100th hiatus week, lol. Full disclosure, I will probably be concluding this story before this season ends, as I've gone slightly more AU than I thought I would with the recent lack of Upstead. I'm hoping the show has some epic moments planned to cap the season though, it certainly sounds that way... & I'll continue on accordingly with my "Feelings" story per episode. Once this ends, I hope to continue more one-shots or another multi-chapter for Summer... *crosses fingers* to have good finale Upstead content to work with ;) Thank you so incredibly much for all the wonderful reviews, I'm so happy this story has resonated with you thus far!]