Susan lay still in her bed. Every morning she woke she felt happy, like she had forgotten all that happened, like everything was the way it had been just a few months ago... But then it sunk in and she was suddenly filled with the dread that so often sat in her stomach.

The girl never wanted to get out of bed in the morning, but she had a duty to her people. It was bad enough that Peter never left his study - Narnia never saw her king anymore. He was always buried in his work. If Susan let herself fall apart like her older brother, then Narnia would fall apart too. They needed someone to lead them properly, and her siblings were in no shape to do so. The duty fell to Susan, then, and she would not allow herself to fail her people.

The Gentle Queen flung her covers off of her and wiped the tears from her eyes. She quickly dressed herself and left her quarters, bound for the royal dining room where she ate most of her meals alone. It didn'tusedto be that way. All of the Pevensies used to sit and eat all of their meals together. Obviously that has changed, and Susan feared they would never share those moments again.

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"Sire?" Peter looked up to meet the eyes of the faun who had addressed him.

"Yes, Nephtali?" Peter asked as he cocked one eyebrow.

"Shall I bring your breakfast into your study again?"

Peter furrowed his brow, causing his eyebrows to become visible as they fell below his longer-than-normal bangs. He was in desperate need of a haircut, but every time Susan offered he turned her down.

"It is morning already?"

"Yes, Sire, though it is still early." Nephtali replied, giving a slight nod of his head, causing his light curls to bounce in the process.

Peter sat in contemplative silence for a few moments before giving the faun an answer, "Don't bother bringing breakfast here. I think I'll eat with Susan today."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Nephtali turned on his hoofed heal and left the king's study, giving Peter the privacy needed to change into some proper clothes for the day.

Once he was dressed, Peter made his way through Cair Paravel to head to the royal dining room. It seemed like ages since He last made this trip. He seldom ate anymore, and when he did, it was always in his room or in his study, so it was a welcome sight to come upon the large oak doors that lead to the dining room.

The first thing Peter saw as he entered the room was Susan. His sister was sitting in her normal chair, her back facing the door he had just entered. He walked across the room in a timely, though not quick, manner. Once Peter was standing beside his sister, he spoke for the first time since entering the room. "May I dine with you, dear sister?"

Susan seemed startled by his voice, but she quickly composed herself. "I don't thinkI'mone to tell the High King who he can and cannot eat with." She replied, not once looking up to meet his eyes.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then." Peter said as he pulled his chair from the table and sat in it. Susan continued to to act more interested in her food than in her brother. "I thought about what you said, you know - about being Narnia's king."

"Oh, you did, did you?" The girl asked, though her voice continued to sound uninterested, and she still kept her eyes on her food.

"You were right, Su, I've closed myself off for long enough." Peter gave out an exasperated sigh, and continued, "I've spent my days locked in my study, filling out papers that are supposed to help Narnia, but I've neglected the needs of my siblingsandmy country. You need mehere, as does Narnia."

Susan looked up and, for the first time, met Peter's eyes. "So you'll stop blaming yourself and causing yourself to waste away?"

The king gave a pained look. He wished it was that easy. "It's not that simple, Su. I'vetriedto forgive myself - believe me, I've tried - but I just...can't."

Susan dropped her fork and rested a comforting hand on Peter's arm, which rested on the dark wooden table. "Youknowit wasn't your fault. There was nothing to be done."

"I tell myself thateveryday, but I still don't believe it. I should haveknownsomething was going to happen; I couldfeelit. I should have donesomething. Maybe things would be different, then." Peter downcast his eyes. He could feel that lump rising again. "I don't know howyoucan forgive me if I can't even forgive myself."

"Peter, it waseasyto forgive you because there was nothing to forgive. It was out of your hands. I could never be mad at you about something that would just as easily have happened tome." Susan argued.

"But itdidn'thappen to you. This isn't onyourhead."

"This is oneveryone'shead, Peter. We areallwondering what else we could have done. The difference is thatyouare the High King. We don't love you any less because of it."

"In my heart, I know it's not my fault, but myheadis in control, not my heart. I don't know what to do." Peter shook his head, which he then bowed low, away from Susan.

"None of us know what to do, which is why we need each other more thaneverbefore."

"I know, I just... I feelsoalone." Peter looked up as his sister, finally revealing the tears in his pained blue yes.

Susan looked at him the way someone would look at a wounded puppy - that's how Peter felt right now. "You don'thaveto be alone. You haveus, you haveme. We can be alone together."

Peter smiled sadly at his younger sister. "Thank you, Su. You always know just what to say to lift my spirits."

Susan just smiled back before her face turned to a questioning one. Peter had a feeling he knew what her question was going to be. "Have you visited him lately?"

Peter shook his head. "I haven't been able to bring myself to."

"Perhaps you should, today." Susan suggested. "Would you like me to come?"

"No," Peter answered a little too quickly. Once he noticed the look of confusion on her face he continued, "I need to see him alone - at least for now."

Susan nodded. "I understand."

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Once Peter had finished his breakfast, he made his way out of Cair Paravel's walls and, within a few minutes, was right where he knew he needed to be.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

No reply.

"Please don't hold it against me; I really wanted to come. I guess I just thought if I did, it would becomefinal." Peter looked down and fiddled with the hem of his sleeve. "I've really missed you, you know. It hasn't been the same."

Still, no reply.

"I hope you're listening, cause it feels like I'm just talking to myself." Peter sighed. "I just wanted to tell you how much we need you. We're falling apart without you."

Peter looked up from his sleeve and looked forward to the large slab of stone before him. The stone was bigger than any of the others around it. Carved into the front were these words:

King Edmund the Just

The world was not big enough for him

So Aslan gave him a new adventure

We miss you dearly, king, brother, friend

But we could never deny Aslan the joy of having you near him.