"How is your chest?" Severus paused in his search, glancing to the side.

"Better." Hermione cleared her throat and took a sip of her hot chocolate, "I think I could get back to training today."

"No, you need to rest today." Severus mumbled, pulling out a very old looking leather binder, "Besides, you need a wand."

Hermione hummed softly coming to sit on the edge on the bench at the end of the bed. He'd been a man on a mission since breakfast, though he hadn't yet shared with her what he'd been looking for, he'd gone through at least four trunks that had been hidden away in a cupboard as well as completely gone through his potions cabinet. It was an interesting sight to watch but she really wished she could have been more helpful.

"Well, I can't very well go to Olivander's..." Hermione scratched at her temple, her memories were now only a few years behind of the present year. Shortly after her escape from the Department of Mysteries, though she couldn't really remember much of what had taken place, the scar in the center of her chest made a lot more sense now.

"Quite." Severus grunted pushing himself up to his feet before taking the leather binder over to the table he'd placed into the room. Even if they'd wanted to, Olivander had gone into hiding, it was one of the things the Dark Lord had set to task in his quest for understanding the Elder Wand.

"Perhaps one of these will suffice." Severus pulled the leather string holding the binder in place before unrolling it across the surface. Ten wands sat inside, snuggly held in place with leather loops. They ranged in color, from a deep ash to a solid black, almost like a chromatic of the darkening of his soul. The designs were simple, modest and restrained. Much of his personality represented in simple almost painfully plain order.

Hermione set her mug aside, sensing the shift in the air as she came closer. When she rounded his shoulder her eyes widened and she found herself perplexed, "Are...all these yours?"

"At one time." Severus raised his brow at her lost tone, "Did you think a wizard held the same wand for all time?"

"I...I uh...I guess I never really thought about it..." She'd used her wand since she'd begun, though she had known others who had had to replace their wands for various reasons. She supposed it wasn't so far out of the realm of possibilities that one could replace a wand even if it wasn't damaged.

"Well, perhaps it is time." Severus took a step to the side, allowing her to come to stand in the center of what he had to offer.

Hermione gave him a deep look, "You mean...I can have one of these?"

"I haven't a need for them." Severus tried to keep his voice apathetic but to anyone who'd come to know him as well as she had, she would be able to hear the strain in his voice.

Hermione did her utmost best to show reverence for the hidden undertones and took a small step closer. As he moved away, she turned her eyes to the wands that laid before her. While none of the wands were even close to what she'd had before, she was hardly one to be caught up on appearance. If the wand had been his, even when he was young, she was sure it was powerful.

With another small glance to assure herself that he was really okay with letting her have something so precious, she reached for one of the wands towards the left, a deep ashen brown. When her fingers neared it, the wand let out a small glow before shooting forward from its catch away from her fingers.

Severus' brow rose as he caught the wand with his wandless magic before it went tumbling over the edge of the table and set it aside as discarded. He was just as curious as she was to see which wand would react to her call. To him, they were as different as day and night, he didn't have high hopes for any of the wands he'd presented to her actually working.

Hermione nervously pursed her lips and took another critical look at all that laid before her. She decided that using her eyes would do no good and thus closed them. Her mind went quiet as she focused on her own magic building inside her. It had changed, even as inexperienced as she was, she could feel it. There was a power that didn't feel like her own yet was something all unique to her. It pulsed inside her, giving her strength, purpose.

Her hand hovered over the wands, her brow furrowing as she felt the small resonance they gave off. It was hard, subtle, but it was there. Small slices of his life right under her fingers. Hope, resolve, determination, sorrow, regret, the thirst for power. Her head tilted as the smallest of whispers caught her attention. A beckoning call to her soul.

"This one..." Hermione opened her eyes, slowly running her fingertips down the wand that stood three from the end. A deep brown wood, a modest handle with a tiny chip near the tip, "Can I have it?"

"Give it a try." Severus pulled it free before placing it into her hand. He remembered when that wand had no longer answered his call. It had been shortly after he'd gotten the news of Lily's wedding.

Hermione gave him a small nervous smile before turning towards the opening in the room, "Protego." The spell lit up the room with brilliant bright light, a stronger shield than she'd ever been able to make before forming in front of her. It was enough to protect her from top to bottom, it felt effortless, without bounds yet strictly controlled, "Amazing..."

Severus' lip ticked just a bit, "Your true power."

"True power?"

"Sometimes wands hold us back, that is why it's important to recognize when they are becoming a hindrance." He spoke as he rolled the wand catch back into place.

"I'll try to remember that..." Hermione canceled the spell and brought the wand closer to her eyes for better inspection, "I can feel you...inside it..."

"That'll pass." He spoke as passively as he could, moving towards the trunk he'd found the wands.

Hermione pouted at his back, there was something about the way he spoke that bothered her, as though he wanted her to forget about him. She made a small face as she tucked the wood into her sleeve, "What are you planning to do today?"

"I need to ensure that the castle is safe, that the secret passages that I've blocked off have remained blocked off."

"Oh..." Hermione had hoped he'd spend the day with her, reading or just spending time with her. She tried her best not to let her sadness show, but it was impossible.

oOOo

A deep yawn rattled Hermione's frame as she turned another page in the book she was reading. A book about enchantments, she'd found herself completely engrossed, the day having passed her by with barely a notice. She wanted to get an upper hand in the wizarding world. Dipping into her muggle roots as a means for inspiration. The world around her was so fixated on wands and magical attacks, that she wondered how they'd fair against a few more, 'barbarian' means.

It wasn't the first time she'd thought about this, though it didn't have merit then, it surely did now. The people to whom she sought her justice were clever, strong and exceptionally skilled. She'd need to be better. Smarter. She wasn't sure where the sudden inspiration came from but it was something she definitely was going to explore. She just needed the professor's help in procuring a few items.

At some point, the cat from before had slipped into the room, making their home against her side, lightly purring away before it had fallen asleep. She'd taken to absently petting its head but hadn't really noticed. It was only when she let out a large stretch, dislodging the sleeping feline did she realize she'd come. The markings were familiar to her, but she just couldn't place why, though she knew the professor would never have allowed something dangerous into their rooms she'd let it go.

The door at the far end of the room came open and Hermione cautiously peeked around the edge of the chair. He came in with heavy shoulders and a tired face, and all she wanted to do for him was pull him down into a chair and help him relax. She knew her efforts would not be well perceived, however, and thus stayed put. Her eyes tracked his movements and when he sat down in the chair opposite her she offered him a small smile, one to which he did not return.

"Everything alright?"

"It is as it should be." Severus turned his narrowed eyes towards Minerva who was just now stretching herself out, he'd let her know that he'd be away from the office so it was of no surprise to have found her there. Regardless, he still didn't like her lingering about, "Out cat."

Hermione pouted as the cat jumped down from the chair, her hand reaching to scoop her back up but missed as she slunk under the chair towards the door. Hermione watched her go with sadness before turning her eyes back to the obviously irritated man in front of her, "You're grumpy."

Severus snorted softly and leaned back into his chair, letting some of the tension that had built when walking the halls release. He had no particular run-ins but the whispers had alluded to something amiss, though he'd been unable at present to sort out just what side was about to move, someone was going to and he needed to be ready for any possibility. That and the Halloween Dance was that evening. He would have no choice but to make an appearance.

A small huff left her nose, "You need something to do," Hermione pushed herself to her feet, setting the book she'd been reading aside, "Maybe a little sparring match?"

As much as he wanted someone to throttle, he didn't think the girl in front of him would be able to handle it and he was much too tired to keep his punches from ringing her bell, even if he couldn't always get them in, "No...something else..."

"Alright..." Hermione picked up the book she'd been reading and came closer, using the arm of his chair to lean against, "What about helping me make some weapons?"

"Weapons?" Severus shifted in his chair to get away from her as subtly as he could, "What sort of weapons?"

"Enchanted ones?" She flipped through the book to find the page she'd just finished reading, "Maybe some throwing knives? A dagger?" She took a seat on the edge of the chair when he moved his arm to take the book, it felt odd but comforting how normal it felt to do so. A small memory pelted her inner eye of her doing something very similar with another but she pushed it aside for the present.

"What do you plan to do with something such as that?" Severus' mind was already turning as he looked through the spell she'd picked, it was complicated yes, but not impossible.

"Get the upper hand?"

"What do you plan on doing with those you fight?" Severus turned his head to read her face when she answered.

"What do you mean?" Hermione leaned back a little to his hard look but only gave him a small look of confusion in return.

"I mean, are you going to kill them?"

Hermione's face fell, a dark shadow falling over her features. She had thought about it of course, though not so bluntly. She wanted them to suffer, to possibly repent but those whom she was going after were far too gone to hold onto such childish hope. She slipped herself from the edge of the chair, wrapping her arms around her waist and turned towards the fire. What would he think of her if she said yes? Would he still continue to help her? Would he throw her out? Would he be angry? Disappointed?

"What, uh...what would you do?" She curled in her bottom lip, chewing at the corner.

"The world believes your dead." Severus rose to his feet, setting the book aside to become her shadow, "You could run."

"And let someone else be taken? Tortured? Raped?" Venom laced her words, a small shiver running down her spine despite the warmth of the room.

"You want to stop them?" His voice was low, deep.

"Of course." Hermione couldn't resist turning her head just enough to see his profile out of the corner of her eye.

"Forever?"

"They won't stop if I don't..." Silence weighed heavily between them. Hermione's mind turning, twisting. While his was calm, concise and collected. This was a choice that only one of them was allowed to make, "I want to kill them."

"An adventitious ambition." Severus came around her shoulder, his dark eyes looking directly into her soul. She was not so young anymore, not so novice. She had seen more things than anyone her age had ever been meant to see, the harsh cold reality of the world they shared. It was impossible to go back now.

"Will you help me?"

"I don't have much of a choice do I?"

"There is always a choice." Hermione didn't stop herself from reaching for his hand, nor her fingers from twining with his. He had chosen to save her, to heal her. Her trust was deep, even if she couldn't fully explain why.

Severus' eyes turned down to their hands, his own laying lax before he slowly completed the hold. His face twitched as if he'd tasted something bitter before his eyes turned towards the heavens, "I am bound by other duties...I won't be able to be alongside you all the time."

Hermione held his hand just a bit tighter, unable to lift her head to the weight of his words, "But you can help me become strong enough to fight them on my own...You can help teach me how to heal myself..."

"And then?"

"I do what needs to be done..." Her voice was absolute, her eyes rising to look into his own, troubled but sure.

Severus nodded his head marginally, "There is something we must do first," His hand slowly slipped from hers, the warmth it had left behind burning up his arm, nearly distracting him as he walked towards his small potions lab. He could feel her eyes examining everything, but he didn't feel exposed, rather comforted.

Hermione licked her lips before slowly coming to stand in the center of the room. Why she didn't follow him was a mystery to her, but the room was heavy with their unspoken pact. It was a weight that settled in her heart most uncomfortably. When he returned, her brow twitched but she forced herself to remain silent.

"These are the last of your memories. Memories, that you yourself had locked away during your time in the woods. I don't know why or how you managed to do it, but I've been secretly working on restoring them every night. What I hold here, is the last of what you'd hidden away."

Hermione nodded in understanding though she wasn't quite sure of what she needed to do. He motioned for her to sit down and she did so without question. Coming to rest on the edge of the chair, her eyes ever locked on the small glowing vial he held in his hand. She didn't remember doing such complex magic, she didn't even know the beginning of how to capture or store memories. Of course, she knew the basics, but to do it in the real world was another matter.

"Just close your eyes and relax, this won't hurt." Severus pressed his wand to the tip of the vial. His wounds were not as debilitating as they had been the day previous. His potion having repaired his fingers, his palm was still a bit sore if he grasped things too tightly but it was a pain he could easily manage.

Hermione did as she was told, letting out a slow breath as she closed her eyes. Her body was still tense, wondering just what was left. It was true she'd only made it up to her fifth year, but there couldn't have been that much more could there? It was hard to tell how old she was, as her body hadn't looked like anything she could recall or reference to, it was far too damaged. Though she was a 'former' student of Hogwarts.

The memory flowed through the back of her eyes, showing her beautiful skies and warm breezes. Laughter filled her ears as she found her world turning to her past self's control.

Severus watched a lone tear run down her cheek, his hand twitching to brush away the other that had come to follow it. A variety of emotions crossed her face as the last of the memory disappeared into her temple. His own brow held tight to see what the outcome would be. When his wand pulled back, her head lowered down and a heavy weight filled the room.

Hermione now understood so much more than what should have been humanly possible. Though it made her head pound, her heart pulsed more. So much happiness twisted into pain. Her hand came up to hold her heart as though the simple act would take away all that she felt in that moment. A choked sob passed her lips before they twisted into a tight smile.

"Miss Granger?"

"I'm okay...I just..." Hermione didn't know what she needed; she was so ashamed. Ashamed that she'd left her friends behind, ashamed of what she'd done to her parents moments before they'd died. Ashamed of how little she'd done, been able to do, during her capture. How she'd been so focused on herself in the weeks following her recovery. She needed to help them, but how? She was dead. A ghost. She was nothing.

Severus' jaw twitched as he watched the strong woman he'd help build slowly fold over. His hands twitching as to what he should do. He was never one to comfort, and the very thought of it made his normally well-informed mind go blank.

Hermione took a deep breath slowly pulling herself back up, her eyes glistening as she forced them to see the man who was sitting before her. How much he had done, how much he had risked just to keep her alive. How her theory about him being a spy was true. How he was woefully caught in the middle of a fight that never should have been his.

"Thank you..." A shaking breath raised her arms to wrap around his neck, her tear cover face pressing into his neck.

Severus cautiously completed the embrace; he had expected anger, not thankfulness. It was oddly comforting to hear her speak those words, even if he didn't understand why.