oO Mid November Oo
The hands had come again, twisting her body, forcing her legs apart. In her mind, she begged them to stop but her body pleaded for more. It was a world filled with darkness and silence. A world filled with pain, and suffering. Her head was pulled back, held tight by the collar around her neck while salt filled her tongue. The smell of sweat churned her stomach as her body arched to the wetness between her legs.
The motion that followed brought a burning bile to the back of her throat, but she could not swallow it down. Her only thoughts were centered around breathing through the tightness that held her throat and the salty flesh that filled her pallet. Her hands curled tight, pulling against the ropes that held them down. She was helpless, truly and completely helpless.
Then, a light, a face through the darkness began to form, and her eyes strained to make them out. Her heart thumped heavily in time with the hands' movements but she could do nothing but stare into the inky blackness shifting above. A mask without eyes began to form, turning her blood into ice. The intricate engravings were not lost on her deeper thoughts as something familiar.
She pulled once more against the binds, pulling one of her hands free. Despite the position that the hands held her in, she reached forward, towards the mask. She needed it, it would keep her safe.
Just as her fingers reached the cool metal, Hermione's body jolted into reality. Her eyes wide and her chest heaving as she furiously pushed away the covers in a vain attempt to remove the phantom hands that lingered. Her flailing woke her bedmate, bringing strong sleep warmed arms around her frame. A deep grunt-like whine left her throat as she kicked out, still struggling against the unseen.
Severus let out a sharp grunt of his own when her elbow hit a deep scar on his side causing his breathing to hitch. Her nightmares had become more violent in the past few weeks and he was beginning to become concerned for her mental health. She'd been more withdrawn, more argumentative. Dare he say; much more like himself. It was exceptionally grating on his nerves.
"Miss Granger! Miss-" His words were cut off when her shoulder snapped his jaw shut with a sharp clashing of his teeth. This stoked the anger that had been building in his chest and his hands took a vice-like grip before slamming down into the bed. His chest heaved as he held her there, hovering just over her wide eyes and heaving chest, determined to keep her from drawing any more blood from his person.
Hermione let out a deep growl of desperation, her eyes had been taking longer and longer to come into focus, as though the potion he'd given her was losing its effects. Something warm dripped onto her cheek and as his livid face came into view her own turned into that of submission. Her mind was spinning with memories both of the present and past forcing her body to go still with conflicted fear.
Severus licked his bottom lip trying to keep another drop of blood from falling onto her cheek before he pushed himself off of her bruised wrists and onto his hip. A sharp hiss brought the back of his hand up to his lip as the woman beside him began to push herself up.
"I'm sorry..." Hermione tried to reach out but the man beside her smacked her wrist away before pushing himself out of bed. Her eyes tracked the shadows on his muscles as he moved towards the bathroom. When the door shut with a reverberating slam her head hung down. This wasn't the first time she'd injured him in her sleep. The first time, she was certain he was going to kill her. The look on his face had been something she could hardly forget, having triggered his natural fight or flight response. He was a fighter.
Hermione took a slow breath and wiped away the blood that had fallen on her cheek before rolling out of her side of the bed. Today was supposed to be the day where she was going to help Harry and Ron. The day where she could make sure they were on the right path. She wasn't allowed to stay with them of course, but just to see them again, to know that they were alright, filled her with hope.
They had argued for days, endless hours. Back and forth and back and forth. She'd worn him down but not without a price. The closeness, their bond, seemed to be breaking down. She could see it in his eyes whenever she'd mention her friends. As though she was choosing them over him. It wasn't true, but no matter what she said, she just couldn't get him to believe her.
She just wanted to end this war, help anyone she could, and make sure the man that had saved her life, got out alive. It would haunt her to her last days to lose him now. After all he'd done for her. She owed him her life, and it was a debt that would seek to repay until her last breath.
Hermione pushed herself away from the bed, taking a deep shuddering breath trying to bring her adrenaline down. The full moon shined in from the far window casting an eerie white glow overall it touched. The silence of the room was deafening. It reminded her of the darkness she had been trapped in for so long. Even her happiest memories couldn't push it away. They were dull, without color now. Just a shell of what she'd used to be.
She had thought she'd be different, stronger, with all her memories but she just felt more lost. Her mind, that had been so empty and had relied solely on the information presented to her at the time, was now cluttered with conflicting emotions that made making a decision difficult. That in combination with everything else that she was trying to accomplish just made living insufferable.
"Get back in the bed." Severus' deep gravel voice broke the silence of the room, his dark eyes narrowed at the shadowy figure standing in the moonlight.
"No..."
"Woman, I swear to Merlin..." Severus was far from being anywhere in the realm of nice at three a.m. He'd gone to the bathroom to try and keep himself under control and not shove an entire storerooms worth of dreamless sleep down her throat. He had already offered it to her but as fate would have it, she was somewhat allergic to one of the main ingredients in his concentrated batch. That had not been a fun night.
"Severus, I said no!" Hermione spun on her heel, the words leaving her mouth before she'd even had a chance to process what she'd said. When she did, her eyes grew wider, her body going straight as though a pole had been attached to her spine. Her pulse throbbed well into her skull as the man straightened up. His eyes were darkened in the shadow of the moon but she could feel their gaze burning into her.
"Please, I'm sorry...I...please...professor..." Her eyes closed tight as she backed herself up into the wall, her hands coming up to cling to her waist. She'd done it, she'd finally done it. He was going to kill her. Fed up, done with her. She'd deserve it for sure. Her body jolted when warm hands ran over her neck, the vein therein beating rapidly. His hands were gentle, but she knew it would take him little to no effort to wrap them tight around her throat.
"Please...I'm..."
"Come to bed." Severus' voice was softer than he'd even believed it possible. His thumbs ran over the bottom of her tightly closed lashes, while his fingers gently pushed her wild hair back behind her ears. Watching her anger turn to fear when he approached had struck something deep inside of him. She had never looked at him that way, not since they'd been together, "Please." His lips twitched to the word but he managed to get it through.
"I can't...the hands...I can't..." Hermione took a shaking breath raising her own to rest on his wrists, the feel of his skin was calming, grounding. How she wished his touch alone would wash away all the pain her dreams brought to the surface.
"Where did they hurt you?"
"Everywhere..." Despite herself, she allowed her cheek to press into his palm, letting his scent bring up more pleasant memories.
"Do you hurt now?"
"No..."
"Then it is time to rest..." Severus lowered his hands from her face to take her hands in his, a small pull brought her forward and when he sat on the edge of the bed he pulled her to stand between his knees, "I can't give you anything for the nightmares, but perhaps we could...remove the memories?"
"No...no I need them..." Hermione sniffled softly leaning into his thigh ever just so, her eyes opening just enough to see down into his completely exhausted face.
"A shield then? Something to make them less present?"
"I don't know...I think all this magic inside my head is the cause of all of this..." Hermione rubbed her temple absently.
"Alright." Severus wasn't going to force her into doing anything she wasn't fully prepared for. It had been the basis of all their arguments to date. She thought she was ready, he knew she wasn't and so on.
"Are you mad at me?" Hermione glanced through her lashes, letting her fingers curl into the neck of his tank top.
"For what?"
"Your lip...and using your given name..."
"I am upset at neither." Severus licked his bottom lip he'd healed in the bathroom when he'd gone to calm himself down, it was hardly a difficult task. As for his name, he was rather surprised she hadn't begun to use it earlier. Of course, he wasn't going to invite her to use it, there was no point in stopping her from using it either.
Hermione sighed heavily nodding her head, her fingers idly tracing one of the lines just under his shirt before her eyes turned towards the bed, "Maybe...you should tie me down...that way I can't hit you while you sleep..."
"I shall do no such thing. You are not an animal, you will find the strength to overcome these nightmares." Severus shifted, pulling her to the bed beside him, "I am going back to sleep, I don't care if you do, but you're not to leave this bed until dawn breaks. Am I clear?"
"Perfectly..." Hermione pulled her legs up towards her chest as he came to stand. He moved around the end of the bed with heavy steps, obviously well over exhausted. He'd been out almost every night that week, doing the Dark Lord's bidding in trying to find the answers to the power behind the Elder Wand. He'd never spoken of what he'd done to acquire the knowledge he was being sent after but she could see the shadow growing in his eyes.
"Down." Severus rolled onto his side, pulling the mussed blankets straight before raising his arm up, as much as he hated to admit it, on the nights he'd held her she'd slept straight through. Unfortunately for this night, he'd come back way after she'd gone to bed and he'd kept to his side to avoid waking her with his return.
Hermione smiled woefully and pushed her legs under the blanket, normally she would press her back to his chest, but tonight she needed his face to be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. She shifted herself closer, feeling the familiar and most welcome weight of his arm against her waist. His hand ran up the fabric of her shirt before nestling into her locks. A deep breath brought his scent into her nose and pushed out the smell of dirt and sweat that lingered. She let one of her arms run over his waist settling in the small of his back while the other curled between them before nestling her nose into the hallow of this throat.
Severus let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes, shifting his legs to accommodate hers before he let his body relax. His body was too weak to resist her warmth but at that moment, he just couldn't have cared.
oOo
Hermione had laid awake long after he had fallen asleep, though eventually, the slow rise and fall of his chest against her hand had lulled her into a shallow rest. She was still tired, but nothing was going to stand in her way today. It was the day she was going to go out on her own, a mission all her own. Locate Harry, try to figure out where he was in regards to finding the next Horcrux and eliminate any threat that might hold him back.
"Have you got everything?"
"I think so." Hermione tightened down the leather strap holding her wand in place before pulling her jacket down, another glance over her face in the mirror to make sure she was the demon she had become was in place, she turned towards the main room.
"I'll be able to watch after you with this." Severus raised a thickly chained golden necklace adorned with a deep red oval pendant, "So long as you wear this, I'll be able to see what you see."
Hermione nodded slowly pulling her hair out of the way. As the stone settled in place, she could feel the magic mixing with that of the coat. When he stepped back she tilted her head up looking into his face, "I will return." She didn't need to be a mind reader to see the sorrow hidden in the very corners of his eyes. As if he believed that this was the last time he was going to see her.
Severus let out a breath through his nose and turned away, his heart believed her, but his mind was another matter entirely. He had no way of calling her back once she was gone. Only she could activate the portkey on her jacket. If it fell off, there would be no way of getting her back but that wasn't what he believed was going to happen. No, he believed that as soon as she saw her friends, she'd reveal herself and sign his death warrant. He wasn't even sure why he was letting her go at all. The risk to his own life was so great, that it simply didn't make sense.
"Potter was last seen on the cliffs of Areaon. Just outside of the northern border. This portkey will take you to a cave in the area, but you will have to find exactly where he's gone."
"Why is he so far away?" Hermione took the map he'd offered and tucked it into her inner jacket pocket, "What could possibly be out there?"
Severus shook his head as he didn't have an answer. He'd only just gotten the report from Albus that morning. As well as another talking to about using Hermione for more dangerous missions. Of which Severus had put his foot down. They did need eyes on Potter, and as far as he was concerned that was all he was going to instruct her to do.
Hermione took another slow breath, she'd managed to make one enchanted dagger to add to her arsenal but she had much bigger plans filling the back of her mind. Still, planning and doing were two different matters entirely. She just had to stay focused, "I'm ready."
oOo
"Well, this was a bust." Ron groaned picking up his bag, "I wouldn't have thought it'd be easy to hide out here but they've gone and done it."
"They're probably using the same charms we do. Keep your voice down." Harry snarled slightly pulling himself up over a ledge, "Besides, the guy at the bar specifically talked about the wastes, said that's were the auctions were."
"Why are we looking for the auctions again?"
"Because." Harry grunted heavily as he pulled Ron up onto the ledge with him, "They might have stumbled across something that they shouldn't have. Then we can sneak in, get it and get out. It's the only lead we have."
"Right." Ron rolled his shoulder a bit looking out over the cliffs, "It is a pretty view though, yeah?"
"Charming." Harry pushed himself up without even looking, they'd found and destroyed the necklace but they had been without a waypoint for a while. They'd stumbled across a group of snatchers in a pub one night while keeping warm from the growing winter chill when they'd overheard something about an auction of rare and curious goods. Something that was most certainly illegal but was worth looking into.
They'd managed to pickpocket one of the drunk snatchers for a map supposedly leading to the place it was going to be held, but their window of opportunity was tight. They had to get there before midnight or the wards would keep them out. Thankfully, they'd started the long journey as soon as they'd learned of it and were set to be there well before dark.
oOo
Hermione blinked the bright afternoon light into focus. The air was chilled but not uncomfortably so. It was clear and fresh, without the lingering smell of dirt or trees. Her heart was beating a bit faster than it should have been but she easily pushed the observation aside.
As she stepped out of the cave, her head turned up to the beautiful blue sky, it felt so freeing. So wonderful. She took a small step closer to the edge, leaning over just a fraction to look down below. It was a far drop if she weren't careful, but the view of the deep valley below was worth taking the small look. She felt as though she were really on top of the world.
The land was vast and seemingly vacant. Her eyes narrowed towards the horizon before she reached into her coat to pull out her map. It was just a simple map, a land survey map. Unfortunately, aside from where she stood, there was no place to hide. No trees, nor brush. If she ventured far beyond the cliffs, she'd be completely exposed.
A frown painted her lips before she pulled out her wand. A small tap to her temple adjusted her vision to see farther and clearer as if she were looking through a pair of binoculars. Two shadows were appearing along the horizon, but the sun was at their backs, making seeing their faces impossible. From her vantage, she could tell they were male. One tall, the other a bit shorter.
A noise down below dropped her to her knees. Closing her eyes on instinct she held her breath to listen. Footsteps. At least two sets. Slow moving. She exhaled languidly before very cautiously peeking over the edge. She held her breath as she tried to focus her eyes on what her ears were hearing. They were under the ledge some way, she couldn't see them, but she could tell they were moving along the cliff side. They were mumbling softly to themselves but the wind carried their voices away.
Staying low, Hermione followed the sound of their footsteps with her own silenced ones. Staying above them, she kept her ears trained for anything she could decipher before suddenly, all sound vanished. Perplexed, she lowered herself back down towards the edge. A quick charm to conceal herself, she lowered down to her stomach very cautiously looking over the ledge but found nothing below.
"Curious..." Her head turned slowly towards where she would have expected them to have gone when a small shimmer caught her attention. Another set of footsteps kept her in place and she turned her head slowly in the direction of their approach.
oOo
"What have you found, Miss Granger?" Severus was sitting on the edge of his seat, his hands clasped under his chin while his eyes pierced the mirror in front of him. He was nervous, more than nervous. He had wished he'd said something before she'd gone, said a proper goodbye. He didn't know why it felt important but it hurt his heart even now.