Hey everyone,
So I've just come out of my holiday daze and the reality is hitting me hard, the Maldives are beyond words and coming back to little old Adelaide is a little depressing. I have also had super bad jet lag! Yes, I know #firstworldproblems but I have finally managed to write something before I head off to Melbourne tomorrow lol.
Just wanted to do a shout out to all the writers, loving that were getting a whole lot of new fics coming out. I promise I'll get around to reading all of them and leave a review! And thank you to all my reviewers! I means a lot that you take the time to leave a comment!
So anyway, let's get on with it
Fine is a 4 Letter Word
Chapter 5
The next morning Kate awoke on her couch face down leaning on her arm with a small patch of drool beside her hand. She wiped her hand across her mouth and attempted to sit up. She cringed as the pounding became more apparent, almost unbearable. She rolled off the couch and attempted to stand, she needed some pain killers, and fast. As her foot hit the cold tiles of her kitchen she stopped, the pounding was now a second thought as she felt the acid rise from her stomach and up her throat. Placing her hand over her mouth she ran to the bathroom and just made it to the toilet, after she felt like there was nothing else to bring up she slowly rose from the floor and turned on the shower. She chucked her clothes on to the floor and stepped inside and closed the door, she stood under the running water and tilted her head back letting the water flow over her face. She closed her eyes relieved that the tears were hidden by the water.
An hour later Kate had composed herself and walked down the stairs recharged and ready to start the day, she was worried that Mike had told Maxine about their incident from the previous night. She needed to pull herself together, too many people had seen her at her worst, and she could risk it jeopardising her return to work.
She confidently walked into Navcom and knocked on Maxine's door and poked her head in.
"Ma'am?"
Mike was leaning over Maxine's shoulder, he stepped away from her hoping that Kate wasn't going to mention the previous nights events. Maxine stood from her desk and ushered Kate into the room.
"Kate, hi, please sit..."
Kate sat in front of Maxine's desk while Mike made his way to the door, Kate turned to stop him.
"Oh, Mike, you can stay..."
Mike glanced at her uneasily and turned back and sat next to her, Maxine glanced towards Mike wondering if he knew why she was there, he gave a slight shake of the head indicating that he didn't. Kate cleared her throat and put on her 'everything's fine' smile.
"Ah, so I just wanted to come in here and, I guess, thank you guys... thank you for giving me a push to see Dr. Cowan..."
Mike glanced at Maxine uncertainly, she ignored him and turned to face Kate and smiled.
"Well, we're glad that we could help..."
Mike didn't want to be the one to cause a scene, but he knew that something wasn't right, he turned his chair towards her.
"So, you're fine with seeing someone now?"
Maxine kicked Mike's foot under the desk and cleared her throat.
"Kate, we just wanted to give you some space both professionally and personally. I assumed you'd come to us if you needed anything."
Kate smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, well you know how stubborn I can be..."
She laughed at herself trying to make them feel more comfortable, she broke eye contact and focused on the floor.
"But anyway, thanks, Dr. Cowan is really helping and I feel a lot better. I just hope that you can forgive..."
Maxine stood from her desk interrupting her and sat on the other side of her.
"Kate, you don't need to apologise for anything... we're just glad you're doing better..."
Kate stood from her chair, her cheeks were getting tired from her smile. She couldn't hold it any longer and rushed to the door, Maxine called out after her.
"Kate..."
She hesitated for a moment with her back still turned. She moved her mouth around trying to force to smile back in her face. She felt the pain in her cheek muscles and turned to face them.
"Yeah?"
"You should come round for dinner one night..."
Kate face was void of expression, Maxine glanced at Mike, he busied himself with paperwork. Kate took the opportunity while Maxine was distracted to slip out of the office. She stood on the other side of the door and shook her head slightly.
"What the?"
Back inside Mike scooted his chair closer to Maxine.
"What was that?"
Maxine looked up from her paperwork at him quizzically.
"What do you mean?"
Mike hadn't told Maxine of Kate's drunken kiss from the previous night, but he had his doubts that her thanks were genuine.
"Let's just wait and see what the shrink has to say..."
Later that evening Mike wanted to get to the bottom of Kate's visit to Navcom. He knocked on her door hoping that she would let him in, she opened the door and smiled seeing him.
"Mike, hi..."
Mike took a moment to register if she was being genuine, he smiled back realising that she was.
"Hi..."
"2 visits in 2 days, aren't I lucky?"
"Can I come in?"
She nodded and opened the door wider, Mike walked into the house looking for any warning signs. Kate turned and closed the door, the smile dropping off her face for a moment. She took a deep breath in as she turned back to face Mike and forced the smiled back on to her face.
"What's up?"
Mike walked into the lounge discreetly checking for any bottles of booze.
"Ah, I guess I just wanted to come and check on you, and before you start I know how that sounds..."
He turned to face her expecting to see an annoyed look on her face but instead she was calm and smiling.
"Mike, I've realised that I need to talk to people, well actually Dr. Cowan made me realise, and that I was being a little reckless but I know that I can get through this.."
"Oh, well that's good Kate... umm,well yeah, I was just seeing what you were up to tonight, do you wanna hang out? Have a drink?"
Kate tried not to react, she wondered if he was testing her. Mike walked over to the fridge and opened it.
"I would kill for a beer, it still so hot out there..."
Kate walked into the kitchen and stood behind him.
"Ah, no beer I'm afraid.."
Mike closed the fridge and opened the cupboard.
"Wine?"
Kate grit her teeth, he was pushing it.
"Ah, no sorry, fresh out..."
She pretended to busy herself so he wouldn't see her frustrated expression.
"Ah look Mike, I'm pretty tired and I gotta get back into a routine so..."
"Yeah, of course, well I'll catch you round..."
Kate showed Mike to the door, she closed it behind him and it out a growl.
Mike walked back into his house, Maxine sat on the couch and handed him a glass of red.
"Where have you been?"
Mike sat down beside her and took a large sip.
"Ah, I went to see Kate..."
Maxine crinkled her brow.
"What for?"
"Ah, I just wanted to check up on her..."
"Don't you think it's a bit late for that Mike?"
"I just, I dunno..."
Maxine placed her glass on the table, she knew there was something that he wasn't telling her. She leaned closer to him and gave him a questioning "commanders" look.
"Mike..."
Mike knew he was caught, they had been friends for a long time he didn't know why he thought he could get away with it She was too good.
"She was drunk..."
Maxine grasped her glass and took a sip
"Drunk? Kate!?
He nodded and exhaled sharply, he knew he was going to have to tell her.
"Yeah, she umm kissed me..."
Maxine raised her eyebrow and took another sip.
"Right..."
"I stopped it, but she was a mess..."
"Okay, so I assume from that and the funny look she gave me today about dinner that you haven't told her about us?"
Mike shook his head, Maxine sighed.
"I know we've always said our private life is exactly that but I know you guys have history. I don't want to make a big song and dance about it but we need to let her know eventually Incase it makes things worse."
"Yeah, I know. I just don't want her to feel like were saying it does affect her... maybe a friendly dinner?"
Mike got out his phone and opened his messages.
"I'll make it seem like we want to discuss work too..."
He started to type.
"Dinner at mine tomorrow with Maxine, want to discuss returning to work."
He hit send and picked up his glass and took a sip waiting for the reply.
Plonking herself back on the couch, Kate tilted the frosted bottle downward, her eyes focused on the liquid that filled her glass. As she raised the glass to her lips and instantly felt a sense of calm knowing that soon she wouldn't feel anything. She was interrupted as her phone beeped in her pocket.
She removed the phone and exhaled loudly. Her brow crease deepened while reading the message, she threw it back on to the couch with such force that it bounced a few times. She glanced at it as if she was angry at the phone for even alerting her to the text that was written on the screen.
She let out another huff as she picked it up, she knew it wasn't just going to go away, she scoffed at the thought, he mind already sounded like Dr Cowan.
She opened the message and replied.
"Sure, sounds good. Want me to bring anything?"
"Nothing, see you at 7..."
It took every ounce of strength in her body for her to not hurl her phone against the wall, Instead she closed her eyes and finished her glass. She immediately poured herself another wanting her mind to stop.
Kate awoke the next morning on her lounge room floor, she slowly opened one eye trying to get her bearings. Placing her hands on her lower back as she pulled herself up from the floor she let out a groan.
She glanced at her phone on the table, the time flashed on the screen 9:35am.
"Shit..."
She had an appointment with Dr Cowan in 25 minutes, she rushed upstairs and jumped into the shower.
She ran into the foyer of Dr Cowan's office and attempted to brush the wrinkles out of her shirt. She took a deep breath in and knocked on the door and opened it slightly.
"Dr Cowan, sorry I'm late..."
Kate could feel Dr Cowan's eyes run over her, she knew she was making assumptions.
"It's okay Kate... have a seat and we can get started..."
Kate's felt her pulse increase, she was so worried about being late she hadn't thought of how she was going to approach today's session. She needed to calm herself, she nervously rubbed her hands together, they were clammy.
"Kate, is everything alright?"
Kate barely heard Dr Cowan, all she could hear was her heartbeat. She closed her eyes willing it to quieten, just breathe Kate. She flinched as she felt a hand on hers.
"Kate... Kate are you okay?"
Kate slowly opened her eyes wishing she was anywhere else.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just..."
Dr Cowan sat back in her chair and took out her note pad and pen.
"Kate, we're not going to progress if..."
She exhaled trying to centre herself.
"I know..."
"Just take a moment Kate..."
Her leg bounced up while trying to sort through her mind. Dr Cowan observed her anxious body language, after a few minutes of silence she had to interject.
"Okay... so what's go you on edge today?"
"I hate being late..."
Dr Cowan couldn't help but laugh.
"Me too...so, is that all?"
Kate glanced up at the clock, she wasn't sure how she was going to fill the remaining 53 minutes.
"Kate... we need to make use of this time..."
"I have to go to dinner with my ex tonight."
Kate froze, she didn't know where that had come from. She didn't mean it to come out, she never wanted to explain Mike to Dr Cowan.
Dr Cowan's head tilted, she was now intrigued.
"Okay, why do you 'have' to?"
Kate hesitated trying to think of a way to explain.
"Okay, well I don't have to... I mean, I'm trying to make an effort..."
Dr Cowan scribbled in her notebook and glanced up at her.
"An effort?"
Kate mentally kicked herself, why did she have to mention him.
"Well, were still friends and I'm trying to get out a bit more."
Dr Cowan smiled.
"That's great, I mean, as long as he's a good person."
Kate sighed.
"Yeah, he is..."
Later that night Kate stood out the front of Mike's house with a bottle of wine. She lifted her hand to kick and hesitated.
"C'mon Kate, you wanna go back to work don't you?"
She knocked on the door and heard foot steps. The door swung open to a smiling Mike.
"Kate! Come in!"
He went to hug her but she held out the bottle of wine to block him.
"I, umm brought this..."
"Oh, that wasn't necessary but thanks!"
Kate walked into the house and spotted Maxine looking quite at home.
"Ma'am..."
Maxine stood and smiled feeling a little awkward.
"Maxine is fine out of the office, Kate.."
Mike still wasn't sure if this was a good idea, he handed Kate a glass of wine.
"So, how was your day?"
Kate took a sip and raised an eyebrow.
"Is that code for, how was your session?"
Mike glanced at Maxine nervous that he had spilled the beans too early. Kate laughed at his reaction.
"Mike, I'm teasing, it's fine really. And yes, they're going well."
Maxine placed a hand on Kate's arm trying to make a connection with her.
"Kate, I just, you know we're here for you right?"
Kate nodded and took another sip of her wine. She wasn't used to the "friend" Maxine and she wasn't complete sure that she would ever be comfortable with it.
A couple of hours later the conversation had died off, there was only so much small talk and work talk they could discuss without discussing the recent incident.
Kate placed her glass on the table and stood to clear the table. Mike reaches out stopping her.
"You don't need to do that Kate..."
She smiled politely and continued to clear.
"It's the least I can do!"
She carried the plates into the kitchen, more than anything she needed a break from all the smiling and fake laughter.
Maxine scooted her chair closer to Mike checking over her should that Kate was out of ear shot.
"She seems fine..."
Mike glanced back at her stacking the dishwasher.
"Yeah, I guess, have you heard from Dr Cowan?"
"Yeah, she's only had 2 sessions but she's going and she seems optimistic...maybe you're just being over protective Mike, you've always been like that about your crew..."
Kate watched their actions out the corner of her eye. She had suspected that they were together, the number of times they had said "we" during the night had tipped her off.
Maxine leaned her head on his shoulder.
"But I guess that's what's make you a great CO..."
"It was still strange seeing her smashed the other night."
"Yeah, well she's been drinking tonight and she's fine..."
Mike took another sip from his glass.
"Yeah, I guess..."
Kate stood at the doorway of the lounge and had hear the last part of the conversation. She cleared her throat as she walked back into the room and Maxine immediately re positioned herself.
Kate tried to laugh it off.
"It's fine, I would have eventually found out right? Look, I'm pretty beat guys. Thanks for dinner! I'll catch you later!"
Kate couldn't get out of their house fast enough. While she no longer felt anything for Mike, watching 2 people being happy together was the last thing she wanted to witness. She so desperately needed to be back out at sea with routine and structure, she needed to make sure that Dr Cowan cleared her.
End of Chapter 5.
Please let me know what you think! Xx