Heavy Meddle
The episode begins with Anastasia playing patty cake with Lily.
Anastasia: Patty cake,Patty cake, Baker man, Bake me a cake as fast as you can Roll it and pat it, and mark it with a B, and put it in the oven for Lily and me!
Both Lily and Anastasia then laugh after playing the game.
Anastasia: You know, it's still kinda weird that you is my aunty yet i was born first before you.
Lily: Poo-Poo.
Anastasia: Yeah you right about that.
Lily and Anastasia see Lincoln about to come in the house.
Anastasia: (In her thought) Hey, it's uncle Lincoln! Huh? What that thing he got in his hair?
A news broadcast weather board appears next to Lincoln with his face in the sun.
LHN 6 LIVE
WEATHER REPORT: CLEAR SKIES
LINGERING BUTT-INS
KEEP AN UMBRELLA HANDY
Lincoln: The National Weather Service (or NWS) reports clear skies with only a 20% chance of meddling sisters. But we advise keeping your umbrella handy.
Lincoln walks in the house while Lily is playing with her toys.
Lincoln: Shh...
Lincoln continue to sneak in the house, However, he didn't noticed Lily squeaky toy and steps on it causing it to squeak. He lift his foot off it and looks at Lily.
Lily: Shh...
Lincoln: Shh...
Lincoln tries to sneak away until Anastasia said something.
Anastasia: What are you doing?
Lincoln jumped back not knowing that his niece was here.
Lincoln: Anastasia!
Anastasia: That's my name, don't wear it out.
Lincoln: What...what are you doing down here? (He said nervously)
Anastasia: It's the only other place i go to for some peace and quiet thank you very much. Now back to my question, what are you doing and also what is that in your hair?
Lincoln got really nervous.
Lincoln: Oh this? This is nothing, really. [He smiles nervously]
Anastasia is getting really suspicious about this.
Anastasia: Are you sure? Because to me that looks like gu...
Lincoln covers her mouth before she even finish talking.
Lincoln: Shhh! (He looks around to make sure no one else were there and whisper to her) Anastasia i gonna try to something but this has to stay between us, ok?
Anastasia: First get your hand off my mouth then we can talk.
Lincoln: Oh, sorry.
Anastasia: Ok so what is this thing you want to tell me?
Lincoln fill Anastasia in about his bullying problem.
Lincoln: And that why i don't want the others to know. You know how your aunties are.
Anastasia: Yes i do.
Lincoln: So you won't tell them?
Anastasia: I will but, it isn't cheap to keep my mouth shut you know.
Lincoln: Yes! i know you won't keep quiet if you don't get paid. But i promise i will pay you back for it.
Anastasia: Hmmmm, ok.
Lincoln: Great! Thanks, Anastasia!
Lincoln hugs Anastasia.
Anastasia: Easy! Easy! I just got my nails done today!
Lincoln: Sorry. Oh by the way, Where your dad at?
Anastasia: In the attic taking a nap.
Lincoln: Dang it, well i guess i just gonna have to do what Clyde said and use some peanut butter.
Anastasia: Uncle Lincoln! Wait! There is no more-
Lincoln already left to the kitchen.
Anastasia: - Peanut butter...
Anastasia see Luna coming down the stairs humning.
Anastasia: Hi aunty Luna.
Luna: Hey little dudette. What's you up to?
Anastasia: Nothing much just sitting here watching tv and letting my nails dry.
Luna: Sweet. Anyway I'm off to the kitchen.
Anastasia: Ok.
Luna continue her humming as she heads to the kitchen.
Anastasia: (In her thought) Hmmmm, i feel like i forgetting something...Oh well, i sure it will come back to me.
The scene switch to Lincoln in the kitchen looking for the peanut butter only to hide his gummed up hair in one of crisper drawers after hearing Luna heading his way.
Luna: Hey, bro.
Lincoln: Oh hey Luna. What's the haps?
Luna looked at the position her brother is in.
Luna: Rad way to chill out, bro.
Lincoln: Right. Totally rad.
Luna: Hey, hook me up with some pudding.
Lincoln feels around for a pudding cup but touched a piece of broccoli instead.
Lincoln: Gross! (He shook the broccoli texture off his hand before he find a pudding cup and handed it to Luna.)
Luna: Thanks, bro.
Lincoln: No problem. Just make sure Anastasia doesn't see you what it.
Luna: You bet. Stay cool bro.
With Luna gone with the pudding cup, Lincoln continue looking for the peanut butter only to hear Anastasia talking to Luna in the background.
Anastasia: Is that a pudding cup? GIMME!
Luna: NO WAY DUDE! IF YOU WANT ONE, GO ASK LINCOLN FOR ONE!
Lincoln finds the peanut butter but finds out that it is empty.
Lincoln: Ah! Why do people put empty jars back in the fridge?!
Lincoln was frustrated by it and put the empty jar of peanut butter back in the fridge after just getting mad about it.
Anastasia: Hi Uncle.
Lincoln jumped back again not knowing Anastasia was there.
Lincoln: Anastasia! Why is it that you and Lucy always appear out of nowhere?!
Anastasia: I just got in here. (She looks at Lincoln hair to see the gum is still there.
Anastasia: Still got the gum in your hair i see.
Lincoln: Yeah. Apparently, someone ate out the peanut butter and put the empty jar back in the fridge.
Anastasia: I was trying to tell you before you left. But i guess you had to learn that the hard way.
Lincoln: Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, what are you in here for?
Anastasia: I am here for some pudding. So if you don't mind, can you get me a pudding cup?
Lincoln: Why can't you get it on your own?
Anastasia: Because 1. I'm to short, 2. I don't know where they are at in the fridge, and 3. You still own me.
Lincoln: Sigh" Fine. (He went back to the fridge and gets another pudding cup for Anastasia and came back with it) Wait, aren't your nails still drying?
Anastasia: Do you want me to keep my mouth shut or not?!
Lincoln: Ok! Ok! Here!
Lincoln hands Anastasia the pudding cup.
Anastasia: Thanks! (She skipped back to the living room with the pudding)
Lincoln: Ok, now i need a plan b.
Lincoln hears Lori on her phone.
Lori: Socks and sandals? Cut it out!
Lincoln: 'Cut it out.' That's it!
He sneaks past Lori.
Lincoln: Anastasia, do you know where we keep the scissors at?
Anastasia: Hmmmmm, try grandma and grandpa's room. I sure there are some in there.
Lincoln: Thanks.
Lincoln stook into his parents's room and see a pair of scissors on top of the drawer. He grabs them and left the room so can cut the gum off his hair. But just before he got to the staircase, he saw Luan coming down. So he put his hair against the wall so she doesn't see the gum.
Lincoln: Hey Luan.
Anastasia is not pleased to hear that name.
Luan: Hey Lincoln. What do you think of this joke? "If i were you, I'd go for the baboon."
Lincoln got puzzled.
Lincoln: I don't get it.
Luan: Oh. Well, that's just the punchline. I still gotta think of the setup.
She walks away and see Anastasia on the couch.
Laun: Hey Anastasia.
Anastasia: Grrrrrrr
Laun: I see you is in a bad mood. Let me cheer you up. "What did the...
Anastasia: If you say one bad joke, I'm gonna shove this pudding cup down your throat.
Luan slowly steps away from her niece.
Lincoln: (In his thought) Man, she is a evil child.
Lincoln went upstairs and was about to go in his room but hears his mother calling him.
Rita: Lincoln, honey! I need you to take out the trash!
Lincoln: Ok, mom! I'll do it in five minutes!
Rita: Not five minutes! Now!
Lincoln: I will! Just give me three minutes!
Lynn Sr: Lincoln, listen to your mother!
Lincoln went to take the trash out. After doing that, he saw Leni heading his way and hid the gum under a trash can lid.
Leni: Hey Lincoln. Is my desk lamp in there? I can't find it anywhere.
Lincoln: Nope. Have you tried looking on your desk?
Leni: So smart! (She noticed the lid on Lincoln head.) What's up with that hat?
Lincoln: Oh, this? [Does some poses] There are all the rage now. I'm surprised you didn't know.
Leni: Hmm...
With Leni inspired by the lid hat, Lincoln stook back in the house only to be caught by Lisa.
Lisa: Greetings, human. There's a Liquidambar Styraciflua in your follicular area.
Lincoln: A what in my who now?
Lisa: You got gum in your hair.
Lincoln: Oh, yes. I'm sure it's just...
Lisa: I assume that being of average intelligence, you didn't place it there yourself, Therefore, I can only deduce that someone has been picking on you.
Lincoln: Lisa, please! I just paid Anastasia to keep her mouth shut! please don't tell anyone else! I don't want everyone getting involve.
Lisa: That might explain the pudding cup. Don't worry. I don't have enough room in my brain for this kind of tomfoolery.
Lisa walks away.
Lincoln: Phew.
Lincoln enter his room and was about to cut the gum off his hair until Lynn kicked the door open with the other sisters and Anastasia behind her.
Lynn Jr: You're being picked on.
Lincoln looks at Anastasia.
Anastasia: Don't look at me, i didn't say anything to them.
Lori: Wait! You knew about this and didn't even tell us?
Anastasia: I was paid to keep my mouth close. Beside, why would i tell you anything after you told uncle Lincoln to never call you?
Lori: Well...I ummm...
Anastasia: I thought so. (She looks at Lincoln.) But yeah i didn't tell them.
Lincoln: (Irritated) Lisa, i thought you weren't going to say anything!
Lisa: No. What i said was i didn't have room in my brain for your secret. Hence, I removed it and transferred it to Lynn, whose brain apparently has ample room.
Lynn Jr: Thanks. Hey!
Luna: So you are being picked on.
Lincoln: Of course not! (He said nervously)
Luan pointed at the gum.
Luan: Then what's that?
Lincoln: That's just my gum. (He put the gum in his mouth and begins chewing it) Mmm...watermelon lime, AND HAIR!
Lincoln spitted the gum out while his sisters demanded to help him only to be blocked by Anastasia.
Anastasia: Back! Back you foul beasts!
Lori: Anastasia we are only trying to help.
Anastasia: Yeah right and I'm the queen of England. (She said sarcastically.) Are you guys are gonna do is make it even worse than it already is.
Lori: If by worse you mean better, i agree. So step aside Anastasia.
The others: Yeah!
Anastasia: Over my dead body. If you think i gonna move out of the way just so you can make his problem even worse, you got another thing coming.
Lori: Then we just have to force our way to him.
Anastasia: Tch, i will love to see you guys try. I might be one, because don't forget i am my father's child so getting past me is gonna be a challenge for all of you.
Lori: Then we just gonna have to take that chance.
The girls square off at each other about to attack until they heard a familiar voice behind them.
?: Hey! What's going on down here?
They all look behind them to see Logan standing there.
Lori: L...Logan...
Logan: That my name, don't wear it out. Now back to my question, what is going on down here? I can hear you guys yelling from the attic.
Lisa: Well you see dear oldest brother, Your white hair little brother is being pick on and refuse our help.
Logan: Let me guess, you try to help Lincoln anyway but Anastasia got in the way to stop you from making the situation even worse then y'all trying to force your way past her to get to Lincoln, am i right?
Lisa: That is correct.
Logan: Well Lincoln and Anastasia got the right idea.
Sisters: What?!
Logan: I understand you guys want to help Lincoln and all but he needs to fight his own battles. If you keep doing this, how is he gonna defend his self?
Lynn Jr: Him? Defending himself? Now that's funny!
Lori: Yeah Lynn's right. It's will make it better if we helped. I mean look at him, he so weak he can't even protect himself.
The others: YEAH!
Lincoln: Thanks for that speech Lori. (He said sarcastically)
Lori: Your welcome, Lincoln.
Logan just stood there.
Lori: If you excuse us, we are going to...
Logan got close to Lori face and grabbed her by her shirt collar.
Lori: HEY! LET GO OF ME!
Logan: You listen here and listen here good! I am the oldest sibling here, everything i say goes! When i say don't help Lincoln with his problem, you do what i say, got it?!
Lori nods in fear.
Logan: Good. Because if Lincoln say he don't need you guys helping him and you do it anyway and if i find out about it, there's gonna be trouble! Understand?
Lori nods in fear again.
Logan: Good. ( He let go of her shirt.) That goes for the rest of you too.
Everyone except Lincoln and Anastasia: Ye...Yes sir.
Logan: Good. Although, i am curious about this bully of your, Lincoln.
Lincoln: Huh?
Logan: What he look like? Does he have spikely hair, a punk like outfit, Or what?
Anastasia: Now to think about it, you never mention what kind of bully you is deal with.
Lincoln: Uhhhhh...
Luna: Come on bro, spill the beans.
Luan: Yeah, we want to know who is this boy that been picking on you.
Lincoln: Well you see, it's not really a boy.
Everyone just stood there looking at Lincoln confuse.
Leni: Is it a dog?
Lincoln: No Leni. It's [Sigh] a girl.
Once again, everyone just stood there looking at Lincoln when Logan remember something.
Logan: Oh no. Please tell me this isn't going to happen again.
All the girls except Lisa squealed with delight and rush in to hug and suffocated him.
Lincoln: What?
Lisa: Normally, i don't care for inane human emotions, but... (squeals in delight and joins her sisters in the hug.)
Luna: Lincoln! Why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?
Anastasia: Yeah uncle, why didn't you tell me this earilar?
Lola: She sounds so pretty.
Lincoln: (Still suffocating) Ok, I'm confuse. Logan, what is happening?
Logan: Well apparently, your sisters think that the reason why this girl is picking on you is because she likes you.
Lincoln: WHAT?!
His sisters released him from their hug.
Lori: What Logan is saying is true. Heck, we even help him out before.
Logan: Yeah! But it almost costed me a relationship no thanks to you guys.
Lincoln and the younger kids: Wait what?!
Logan: Yep, This took place just when you and Lucy was little and Lana,Lola, Lisa, Lily, and Anastasia wasn't even born yet. You see, i was too picked on by a girl and just like you Lincoln i didn't want no one to know especially our parents. However thanks to Leni, the others came in my room and try to help but knowing me i kept kicking them out telling them i don't need their help and i can do this alone. I guess they knew i had been bully by a girl when i was telling a dear friend of mine about the situation and eventually convert me that this girl likes me and tried to help me go out with her. I try telling there really no point on doing this but they refuse and we went to the park where the girl were at and told me to talk to her which i did. Things was going good until Anastasia mother came and saw me talking to this girl and stormed off. I went after her to say sorry to her. Eventually we talked it oover and she forgave me. When i got home your aunties were in the living room with their heads down knowing i was mad at them but i forgave them and told them to never meddle in my love life again. So that the story of the love that almost got away.
Lincoln: Wow, i never knew that.
Lori: Enough backstorying, we need to get this boy together with that girl.
Everyone: YEAH!
Lincoln: Girls! Girls! This is ridiculous! She shoved a sandwich down my pants! I was picking sesame seeds out of my butt for days!
His sisters and Anastasia swoon over the flirty prank.
Leni: So romantic.
Lori: That's a classic.
Anastasia: Very romantic and classic. It's like my love novels coming to life.
Logan: You guys are weird.
Lincoln: Crazy is more like it! That girl hates me! I'm gonna meet her today and give her a piece of my mind!
Lori: You need to give her a piece of your heart instead.
Lincoln: WHAT?!
Leni: I think he needs to kiss her.
Lily and Anastasia makes kissy faces in agreement.
Lincoln: WHAT?!
All the girls: KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!
As the girls continue telling Lincoln to kiss the bully, They formed into miniature tornadoes before merging to a bigger dub "The girlnado!"
GIRLNADO RED ALERT
BREAKING NEWS
S.O.S./TAKE COVER/#AAAHH!
Lincoln: This just in from the "NWS!" The girlnado watch has been upgraded to a girlnado warning. TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY!
The girls: KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!
Lincoln were sucked in by the girlnado only to be free by Logan.
Logan: I WILL HOLD THEM OFF! GO!
Lincoln escaped to the bathroom while Logan is holding the girls off by using his hands. Lincoln brought out his radio.
Lincoln: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Clyde, do you copy?
Clyde: Roger. I mean, this is Clyde not Roger. But yeah. Roger, this is Clyde.
Lincoln started panicking.
Lincoln: My sisters and Anastasia have lost their minds and Logan is out there holding them back! They think the bully likes me! They want me to kiss her!
Clyde: I don't know. Maybe they're right, Lincoln.
Lincoln: I not sure Anastasia but the others are never right! All they do is meddle. Heck, even Logan told me that he almost lost a relationship because of that.
Clyde: They're girls, Lincoln. They know more about these things than we do. It's a scientific fact.
Lincoln: Yeah, but there no way that...(He realize that the possibility of his bully liking him is true.) Wow. Me? You really think she might like me? How would i know?
Clyde: There's one way to find out.
Lincoln got off the radio with Clyde and went out to the hallway.
Logan: I must push my limit. I will not lose the a girlnado.
Girlnado: KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!
Lincoln: Hold it!
The girlnado stopped and everyone looked at Lincoln.
Lincoln: So am I going to kiss this girl or what? (He smirks)
All the girls except Lisa squealed again.
Lisa: Again... (She squeals again)
Logan: I see you chose to go with the kissing option.
Lincoln: Yep. I really to do this the lover way.
Logan: Well if you say so but don't blame me if the plan backfire.
Logan left in search of bandages to cover his wounded hands.
Anastasia: Don't worry about daddy, you let the love doctor handle this.
3:30
Lincoln: It's 3:30. Lola, lip balm. (Lola applies it.) Lana, breath mint. (Lana place the mint in his mouth.) Anastasia, a little more hair grease in the back. (Anastasia put some hair grease in the back of Lincoln head.) Let's do this.
Lynn Jr: Go get her, Romeo.
Lori: You so got this, little bro.
Lola: Aw, our little Lincoln.
Lana: All grown up.
Lola hands Lana a tissue to blow her nose on.
Anastasia: I can't believe this is happening. Our Lincoln getting a girlfriend. (She started to tear up.) I'm so proud of him. (She huddle her arms around her father right leg.)
Logan: (In his thought) Look at him. My little brother is growing up. (He smiles.) I might have a bad feeling about this, but that your dream girl Lincoln. Go get it.
Leni had on a trash can lid still believing the lie Lincoln made earlier.
Leni: All the bridesmaids should wear these hats at Lincoln's wedding. There are all the rage now.
Lincoln marched out of the door to kiss the girl of his dream While everyone watched from the living room windows.
Girls: (sweety)Aww...
Lincoln got punched in the face.
Girls: (concerned) Ooh!
Logan: Yep i was right. I knew i had a bad feeling about this.
Lincoln walked back in with a angry look on his face and also a black eye.
Luna: Sorry, buddy. Our bad.
Luan: Well, at least you gave it a shot.
Lynn Jr: I'll get some ice for that shiner.
Lisa: X-ray machine, stat.
Lori: I'm really sorry, Lincoln.
The girls try to apologize to Lincoln but he just had about enough.
Lincoln: (Infuriated) QUIET! Every time you guys butt into my life, you make things worse! Well, guess what? Never again! NO MORE MEDDLING!
Lincoln stormed off to his room and slammed the door in rage while the girls just stood there feeling guilty for what they done.
Logan: You heard the guy, girls. Next time he say he don't need you guys helping him, do what he said, ok?
The girls nods.
Logan: Ok.
The scene switch to Lincoln in his room.
Lincoln: I knew it all along. I shouldn't have listen to them. I shoulda listen to Logan warning. I was right, they are always wrong.
Anastasia came in.
Anastasia: Uncle, I'm sorry for all that happen to you...i hope you not mad at me...
Lincoln: Sigh". Look, I'm sorry i yell at you and the girls. It's just to me girls are always wrong about things, that all.
Anastasia: I wish you didn't think that uncle.
They hears a whistle coming from outside. Lincoln looked out of his window and sees a rock flying through him and landed on his bed. On that rock was a note.
Lincoln: Huh? What's this?
Anastasia pull the note off the rock and reads it.
Sorry, lame-o. here's my number, 555-0121. Text me.
Anastasia: "Sorry, lame-o. Here's my number, 555-0121. Text me?"... Gasp." Uncle, there might be a chance that she does like you.
Lincoln: Are you sure?
They hear another whistle coming from outside. Lincoln looks out the window again and gets hit in his eye with a steak that got another note on it.
Anastasia: If that doesn't convert you she does, i don't know what will.
Anastasia left.
Lincoln reads the note.
Lincoln: "For your eye. XOXO, Ronnie Anne."
Lincoln then smiles happily and place the steak over his black eye then turns to the viewers.
Lincoln: Ok, maybe just this one time the girls are right. But don't tell them that!