Fine is a 4 Letter Word.
Chapter 11
Kate had nearly hit her limit for the night, and the drinking had momentarily made her forget about her erlier confrontation with Dutchy, she strutted over to Mike and Dutchy with a handful of shots.
"C'mon guys, you're killing the buzz over here …"
She plonked the shots on the table and held one up to Dutchy's face and grinned.
"No Kate, you're the one…"
Mike quickly took the shot from Kate's hand and shoved it into Dutchy's hand, stopping him from finishing his sentence. He grinned and kicked Dutchy under the table
"Thanks, Kate…"
Mike gave Dutchy and insistent look and they swallowed the shots, Kate smiled satisfied and downed hers. She heard her name being called and returned to the bar, Mike and Dutchy' eyes followed her like worried parents. Dutchy shoved Mike a little.
"What was that about?"
"Dutchy, there's no point talking to her here like this…"
They turned their attention back to Kate, she was laughing with Charge, 2Dads and Bird at the bar.
"Yeah, but they can't just act like nothing is wrong…"
"Dutchy, they don't know, well 2Dads does, but do you really expect him to know how to handle this?"
Dutchy knew it was a big ask for 2Dads to deal with it, he was still just a kid himself, but it was Mike who he was more disappointed in. He had loved her at one point and it was like he had given up, when he left he was sure they were going to try again.
"Well, why didn't you do more? You were here!"
Mike already felt guilty, he didn't need more pressure.
"We were giving her space, we didn't want to push her…"
Dutchy frowned.
"WE?"
Mike didn't mean to use 'we', he knew that if he was to tell him who "we" was that it may cause more problems.
"Ah, yeah Maxine and I…"
Dutchy sat there for a moment contemplating his statement, he knew from the shameful look on Mike's face that 'we' meant that they were together.
"So, you guys are a thing?"
Mike nodded and looked back to Kate not wanting to see the expression on Dutchy's face.
"Okay, but still, Mike, c'mon, you were…"
Mike couldn't help but defend himself, Kate was a big girl and their past had been turbulent, she had been the one to push everyone away.
"What did you expect me to do? Beat it out of her? You know how she is Dutchy!"
"Yeah, I do, Mike, and so do you, that's why you should have been the one to push harder! Or where you too busy with Maxine?"
Dutchy regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, he kicked himself as he watched a shocked expression cover Mike's face, he dropped his head in remorse.
"Sorry, I just, I thought she would listen to me, I thought I could get through to her."
"Yeah, I know…"
For the rest of the night Kate avoided Dutchy and Mike's company, she wanted to have a good time with her old crew, even though they reminded her of what had happened it also reminded her of a better time in her life. Mike and Dutchy had slowed their drinking out of concern for her. It was getting late, and the bartender had called last drinks, Kate waved a $100 bill in his face.
"Okay, seeming this guy is a party pooper, a round of shots to finish the night…"
He shook his head and pushed her hand away.
"Sorry, I think you've had enough…"
Kate stood up from her bar stool and leaned over the bar.
"I know when I've had enough!"
Dutchy and Mike's attention turned to her as they heard her raised voice, they made their way to the bar to assist. Dutchy steadied her as she swayed all over the place, he grabbed her arm insistently.
"I think it's your bedtime!"
2Dads stood from the bar stool and clumsily swatted his arm away.
"Nah, she's the Captain, she can't abandon ship before the crew!"
Bird leaned over and grabbed Kate's arm pulling her towards her.
"Yeah!"
Dutchy laughed and pried both their hands from Kate's arm.
"I think it's past all of your bed times! C'mon, lets get you home, I'll take you too Kate."
Mike could see Dutchy had his arms full and finished his beer.
"Yeah, I'll give you a hand…"
2Dads stood up and sculled the rest of his beer and stood on top of the bar stool.
"Macca's run!"
Mike drove through the drive through, 2Dads stuck his head out the window.
"I wanna order!"
Bird pulled his head back in the car and stuck hers out.
"No, I wanna do it…"
Mike turned to Dutchy who was in the passenger seat.
"Is this what it's like to have kids?"
Dutchy laughed and looked back at 2Dads and Bird struggling with each other.
"Yeah, if they were drunk?"
They pulled up to the speaker box, 2Dads won the battle and yelled out the window.
"20 cheeseburgers thanks…"
Dutchy turned back to 2Dads.
"You better be payin'…"
They dropped 2Dads and Bird home with their 20 cheeseburgers and made their way to Kate's house, she was nearly passed out by the time they arrived. Mike and Dutchy wrapped her arms around their shoulders and assisted her in to her house. Dutchy went to help her up the stairs, but she had come to and slapped his hands away.
"I'm fine!"
They watched as she fumbled her way up the stairs, Dutchy went into the kitchen and poured a glass of water and headed up to her room.
Kate was lying in her bed fully clothed, Dutchy stood at the doorway watching her for a moment, he wondered how she had got herself into this self-destructive place. He placed the glass of water on her bedside table and pulled the blanket over her.
"There's a glass of water on your bedside table…"
Kate rolled over and waived her hand in the air dismissing him.
"I'm fine!"
Dutchy knew that arguing with a drunk Kate was pointless.
"Okay, well, goodnight…"
Dutchy made his way back downstairs, he was dead tired from travelling all day. Mike had already made himself comfortable on the couch and was half asleep, he sighed and tried to make himself comfortable on the armchair.
The next morning a high-pitched scream awoke them, they both bolted upright, eyes wide open, they exchanged a worried glance and ran up the stairs. They flung open her bedroom door without warning, it startled Kate and she screamed again, she looked terrible, pale and sweaty.
"What the hell?"
Mike approached the bed cautiously, he was almost afraid of how she would react.
"We heard you scream…"
"What are you doing here?"
Mike looked back to Dutchy for help, he stepped forward.
"Ah, we crashed here after dropping you home…"
"What? You felt I needed supervision?"
They knew that she would get defensive, they had to ignore her jabs if they were going to get through to her.
"Kate, we are here for you…"
Kate was about to retaliate when she felt her stomach turn, she flung back the covers and headed for the bathroom. She slammed the door shut, they knew what was happening and stood their ground, they heard her call out.
"You're dismissed!"
Dutchy and Mike looked at each other and shook their heads, they made their way downstairs, Dutchy sat on the couch with is arms crossed over his chest, Mike sat next to him.
"We're not going anywhere are we?"
Dutchy shook his head and sighed.
"Nope."
There was an awkward pause, Dutchy glanced up at Mike, he had questions, uncomfortable questions, but he needed to know all the answers so he could try to understand the way Kate was feeling.
"Mike, what happened? I thought that you guys…"
Mike exhaled frustrated, he didn't enjoy talking bout feelings at the best of times but he thought it may relieve some of his guilt.
"We just couldn't get it together, maybe there was too much behind us. But as soon as word got round they were splitting us up its like she just gave up. She hasn't been the same, and I'm not saying that she should be but, I dunno."
"And the counsellor, 2Dads said that she's been seeing a counsellor…"
"Yeah, I mean Maxine gets updates but only in a professional capacity, there's only so much she can ask without breaking confidentiality. They cleared her last week but maybe Dr Cowan was wrong. Do you really think she's capable of faking her way through this? "
"I wouldn't have thought so, but, I mean grief does funny things to people. But if she has, this is becomes a lot more complicated."
They both sat there in silence trying to comprehend the seriousness of the situation. Dutchy leaned back on the couch and ran his hand through his hair.
"And the drinking?"
Mike sighed and shook his head slightly.
"I wasn't really aware that it was an issue till a week or so ago…"
"So, how did you find out?"
"Well, I went round to her house, and she had just broken a glass, I was trying to help her clean it up and I could smell it. It was the middle of the day, I think it was vodka. After that there were a couple of strange things, she umm, she actually kissed me, it was out of the blue but she was wasted, she was just dancing around her living room in the middle of the day. Then we kinda tested her, we invited her around for dinner…"
"Do you really think that was the best idea?"
"Oh, I dunno Dutchy, we were trying to get her to talk, anything. I just don't know how it got this bad. I'm not great with handling something like this, crisis at sea no problem but this… I mean that night we had her around she kept it together, hardly finished her glass."
They heard a stair creak, both their head spun round to see a furious Kate standing at the bottom of the stairs.
"Get out…"
They both stood from the couch exchanging nervous glances, Dutchy motioned to Mike that he would handle it.
"Kate, we're trying to help you…"
"And I told you that I'm fine!"
Dutchy approached the stairs trying to reason with her, he knew that others had tried but he thought their relationship was different, she normally listened to him.
"Fine? Kate, you're drinking to excess, you're having flashbacks and nightmares, that's not normal…"
She threw her hands in the air frustrated that they wouldn't leave her alone.
"What's normal? Don't talk to me about normal! None of us are normal! Dr Cowan taught me that!"
She stormed back up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door. Mike sighed and headed for the door.
"I think I should go…"
"Mike!"
"I'm gonna go talk to Maxine, maybe she can get Dr Cowan to do a home visit or something?"
Dutchy sat back on the couch unimpressed that Mike seeming to be chickening out.
"Fine, but I'm staying here…"
A short time later Kate came stomping back down the stairs with a suitcase, she ignored their presence and headed for her car. Dutchy jumped off the couch and followed her, as she loaded her case in the car Dutchy got in the passenger seat, she got in and was startled by his presence.
"Get out…"
Dutchy sat there in silence looking straight a head ignoring her request.
"Dutchy, if you don't get out my car this minute I will call the police and tell them they should have locked you up…"
He scoffed at her threat, he brought his gaze up to meet hers. He looked deep into her eyes as if it was the window to her soul, he hoped that he could find that sparkle, a glimpse of the old Kate McGregor but her eyes were cold and unforgiving. The person he used to be so close with was no longer there, but it didn't mean he was going to give up on her.
"Kate, don't be ridiculous…"
She clenched her hands over the steering wheel and her eyes closed and yelled.
"Get out!"
Dutchy was taken aback by her anger, hadn't ever seen this side of her, he sighed an opened the door to leave but turned back to face her.
"Just tell me where you're going…"
She leaned over and shoved him out the car.
"None of your business…"
Kate approached the counter and smiled as she spotted James, he looked up saw her approach and gave her a friendly wave.
"Ms. McGregor! Welcome back..."
"Thanks, James..."
"So, no rest for the wicked?"
Kate put her suitcase down and grabbed out her credit card
"Yeah, I guess..."
"Well, I hope that you'll be able to have a little more fun this time? I barely saw you last weekend..."
She gave him a wink as he handed her the room key.
"We'll see!"
Kate opened the door to her room and jumped onto the bed and exhaled loudly, a feeling of relief filled her body. No one knew her here, it was like a sanctuary, a safe place where she could exist without guilt.
She lounged around the pool for most of the afternoon sipping on cocktails and catching up on some reading. As the sun went down, she started to get a little excited, she packed herself up and returned to her room to get changed.
She walked through the lobby in her "Brooke" attire and James looked up from the computer and had to do a double take.
"Ms. McGregor, is that you?"
Kate froze, she knew she was busted, she spun around and put on a smile trying to think of a way to explain her look.
"You got me, just umm, keep it on the DL, okay?"
He smiled but was unsure of the situation.
"Is this part of your job?"
"Ah, can't really say..."
She walked off hoping he would think she was undercover and not ask any more questions.
Kate strolled down the strip and wandered into a club, she positioned herself at the bar scoping out the talent, it didn't take long for a guy to approach her. Her eyes scanned him up and down, he was doing the same.
"Can I buy you and your beautiful body a drink?"
She cringed, it was a terrible line, something one of her younger sailors would say. She rolled her eyes at herself and faked a smile and moved her body closer to him.
"Sure, only if I get to see your beautiful body later..."
She watched as he tried to hide his surprise at her comment.
"Damn, I like you! I'm Sam..."
"Brooke..."
They were bumping and grinding on the dance floor, Kate was swinging head around to the beat of the music when she caught a glimpse of a familiar face, her body stiffened. She immediately stopped dancing and stepped behind Sam using his as a shield, he noticed his strange behaviour and stopped dancing.
"Everything okay?"
Kate glanced out from behind him and quickly ducked back as 2Dads spun around in her direction.
"Ah, yeah, just umm..."
She didn't know how to explain, she had to think quick.
"Oh yeah, just an ex.."
Sam immediately turned to see if he could spot him.
"Which one?"
His head bobbed up and down trying to find him, she grabbed his arm spinning him back to face her.
"Don't worry…"
He shrugged off her grip and spun back around still looking for him.
"No, you look completely freaked! Which one?"
Kate peered out from behind him and winced, she hoped Sam wasn't going do anything stupid.
"Ah, the blonde in the blue shirt."
He spotted him and frowned looking 2Dads up and down, sizing him up.
"Really? Wouldn't have picked him as your type..."
2Dads noticed the couple staring at him, he squinted trying to make out their faces.
"Kate?"
He moved through the crowd trying to get closer, Kate's eyes widened, she couldn't let him see her like this so she ran. Sam turned back around to talk to her but she was gone, he spotted her heading for the door and ran after her.
"Brooke, wait!"
He sprinted a few steps, but she was too fast, he stopped and waited for 2Dads to catch up, he ran past him and grabbed him by his collar.
"Hey mate, she's not interested..."
2Dads struggled against him, confused why a stranger was manhandling him.
"Huh? No, umm I thought she was a friend.."
Sam shoved him a little more trying to intimidate him.
"A friend huh? She told me you were her ex..."
2Dads laughed at the thought.
"Ah, Kate, I don't think so..."
Sam let him go, she was mistaken.
"Kate? Her name is Brooke."
"Oh, must have got it wrong then..."
Sam shoved him aside and ran out of the club and found Kate pacing up and down the sidewalk waiting for a cab.
"Brooke? I think you were seeing things, he said he was looking for someone called Kate..."
She laughed nervously and continued to walk away from the club.
"Oh, maybe I was..."
A cab stopped in front of her, Sam got in next to her. She wasn't really in the mood, seeing 2Dads had spooked her. She was suddenly very aware of what was happening and it wasn't as fun when she was sobering up.
The cab pulled up at the hotel and they got out, he followed her into the lobby, James was at the desk, he glanced up at her and smiled.
Kate stopped as they got to the elevator.
"Ah well, thanks for getting me home safe..."
He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck.
"Oh c'mon Brooke, what happened to that promise?"
She moved out of his embrace and pressed the up button.
"Ah, maybe tomorrow? I'm pretty beat..."
The doors opened, she went to step into the elevator, Sam was a little annoyed and gripped her arm pulling her back.
"Seriously?"
She peeled his hand off her arm and smiled.
"Yeah, I'll be out tomorrow, I'll give you a call!"
Kate stood on her tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"I promise…"
Kate got into the elevator and smiled and waved as the doors closed. The doors clunked shut, she reached out to press her level, her hand shook violently, she clenched her fist trying to stop it, it didn't work, she quickly pressed number 6 and folded her arms around herself.
James had watched their interaction from a far, he was concerned about her strange behaviour and was about to go check on her, he opened the counter door and stopped as he saw Sam heading for the exit, he smiled with relief and waved.
"Goodnight, Sir…"
End of Chapter 11
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