Hermione woke to strict crisp sheets with a sterile smell under her nose. Her brow furrowed deeply as she raised her hands up towards her face only to feel something attached to one of her hands. Resting the one that seemed attached to something on her chest she rubbed liberally at her eyes before taking in a deep breath.
When the world slowly came into focus she found herself not staring up at the beautiful ornate canopy of Severus' bed but rather deep brown wood. Further perplexed, she turned her head towards the sunlight that had warmed her face and had roused her from her rest to find a dingy frost covered window that was impossible to see out of.
"Professor?" Her voice sounded weak and timid and her entire body heavy as though she'd just woken from a medically induced coma. She wagered it wasn't far from the truth as she looked down to the IV that had been placed into the back of her hand.
Another round of dizzyness rocked her frame as she pushed herself slowly into a seated position; her eyes turning down to the small bed that was just barely wide enough to hold her. Another look down her person revealed her to be wearing a long sleeve pajama shirt with matching pants; the color a deep brown with green trim.
A slow breath left her chest as she pulled her legs from under the warm blankets and towards the floor. Her tiptoes barely brushing the cold surface, she gave herself a small push to set herself flat on her feet. A small tug on her hand reminded her that she was very much attached to something and she turned her eyes down before peeling the tape free from the back of her hand.
A sharp intake of breath slipped the needle from her hand, the tube empty of whatever had been given to her giving her the courage to remove it completely. She flexed her hand to make sure she hadn't done any damage before turning her eyes out over the room she found herself in. Something about the air told her it was familiar but she didn't have her wits about her just yet to tell her why.
The floor was chilled, sending a shiver up her bare feet and into her chest. She turned her head slowly around the space before moving over to the larger master bed and pulled a throw from the foot of it. As soon as she'd wrapped it around her shoulders the smell that had been lacking since she woke filled her nose and she felt her heart marginally relax.
With one cautious step in front of the other, she moved towards the dark wooden door at the other side of the room, all the while taking in the other well-worn furniture that lined the walls. Nothing about the space revealed any personality, it felt sterile and derelict all at once. The doorknob was made of brass, something she'd only seen in history books.
The door opened with a light creek into a dust-filled hallway even colder than the room she'd been in. Pulling the throw tighter around her frame she stepped onto the threadbare runner and crept carefully towards the narrow landing at the far end of the hall, not even bothering to look into the other rooms she'd passed.
Just as she reached the landing her ears picked up the sound of not one but two voices. On instinct she lowered herself down, the staircase was curved so there was no way for her to see who was at the bottom but it also provided her with a bit of time should she need to make a quick escape back from whence she'd come.
"I just don't know what the Dark Lord plans to achieve with this. We've already stretched our trusted numbers thin, what possible advantage can be gained by letting rogue inbreds take on a chase?"
"That is not for you to decide Lucius. Though it may have escaped your notice, we are but only two of many in his armies. Not everything is about us."
"But he wants Draco out with them! Out with those...thieving, lying...slave traders!"
There was a heavy pause, Hermione could almost imagine the look on Severus' face, the phrase 'Pot calling the kettle black', coming to mind.
"Do not look at me that way! You have no idea what it's like to have a family. A child that carries your blood! He is the heir to everything that I hold dear! Not to mention Cissa, what she would do if he were to be lost."
"You have yet to enlighten me as to how any of this is my concern." Severus' voice was so cold Hermione could almost feel the air around her drop in degree.
"Anything, anything you want. If you can sway the Dark Lord's mind."
"You overestimate my power as counsel. I'm pretty sure I was down on my knees just beside you last night."
"Then guide him, teach him something, anything to keep him alive."
"That may be possible."
"I am in your debt."
"Aren't you always?"
Hermione bit her bottom lip as a shadow passed over the small light that was highlighting the turn in the staircase. Her heart was beating just a little faster now, and her body even jolted when what she assumed to be the front door slammed shut. A slow breath left her nose as she listened to the floor below begin to creak.
Suddenly feeling like a stranger in a foreign land, she pushed herself up from her hiding spot and made her way back towards the room from which she'd come, the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs coming from behind her. At least she knew one thing, the Professor was there with her; wherever she was.
Severus let out a small sigh, his hawkish eyes snapping towards the end of the hall as he came to the second floor. The light from inside his room had just cut out and he knew his other burden had woken. He had retreated to Spinner's End following a rather exhausting night of keeping the woman alive.
With the help of Misty, he had managed to remove the poison that had begun to make its way towards her heart despite his preventative measures. It had been pure chance that Misty had answered his call but he was always one to use a presented opportunity. It had been a rather long night, one to which he'd only managed about two hours of rest before he'd taken her and himself to a more secluded place to recoupe.
It was winter break, a two-week long lull in the rigorous routine of classes, normally he wouldn't have left the safety of the castle, and his plan was simply to keep them both there until they had both recovered from their injuries, out of sight of more prying eyes. He wouldn't say it felt good to be home, but it felt safer than the castle at present knowing that if anyone were to seek his audience they'd have to knock on his door instead of merely floo in.
A slow breath left his tired frame as he pushed open the door, his eyes scanning from one side of the room to the other before he found the girl who had turned his entire world upside down pressed back into the corner. Though upon seeing him, she quickly began to make her way over to him.
"I see you're feeling better."
"I am. Thank you." Hermione couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around his waist. She could feel the tension wafting off of him from her actions but she allowed herself this one selfish moment.
Severus relented to her hold if only to make her release him faster; his hand coming to cradle the back of her head for a moment before she tilted her head back to look at him, "Yes?"
"Where are we? I heard...I heard Mr. Malfoy..."
"We are at Spinners End." His brow mirrored her own before he clarified, "My home. We've come full circle—if you will."
Hermione's hold slowly relaxed to the sides of his coat before a flash of memories assaulted her senses spiraling out of the present in one heartbeat, "This...this is where you took me first...where...he..."
"He died just beyond that window. You have nothing to fear here. Not many know of my residence, it is...a safe house of sorts."
"A safe house..." Hermione lowered her hands down to the wound on her side, it was tender to the touch but didn't bother her too much.
"You've caused quite a stir." Severus moved further into the room and over to his bedside table where he had a small set of potions for the both of them.
Hermione's brow turned hard and her jaw grew tense, "Did I kill her?"
"No." Severus didn't turn to look but he could hear the confliction in her voice despite the hard tone she'd taken.
Hermione felt both relieved and irritated by the news, her fingers pressing a bit hard into the wound the insane witch had left behind, "I don't suppose she's the kind to forgive and forget?"
"Hardly." A small snort left his nose accompanied by a tiny grin that ticked at the corner of his lip. He was starting to appreciate her sass if only a little.
"Harry...Ron?"
"Alive." Severus' grin quickly faded as he turned on his heel with a potion in each hand, "They made their escape."
Hermione lowered her eyes, she had to ask after all isn't that why she risked everything? Her arms curled just a bit tighter around herself, her head turning into the throw around her shoulders, "At least I accomplished something..."
Severus' frown deepened as he came to stand in front of her, "I would say making it to the top of the Dark Lord's most wanted list is an accomplishment." His tone was dry as the desert.
Hermione snorted softly, a slow grin curling her lips, "I guess." She lifted her head to him when he came to stand in front of her, her eyes searching his face for any more answers, "What day is it?"
"December 25th."
"Christmas."
"I suppose it is." Severus held out the potion he'd gone to retrieve, a mild pain reliever to keep her from being uncomfortable.
"I take it you're not fond of the holiday?" Hermione inhaled slowly, reaching out to take the vial.
"Not my favorite, no." Severus let out a slow breath feeling awkward about the entire circumstance. He still hadn't forgotten her delirious request, it had bothered him more than he would have cared to admit.
Hermione's face grew incredibly sad as a few memories of her family slowly pushed forward. Happy memories, warm and safe memories. They made her realize just how alone she was in the world. How she would never be able to spend another Christmas Day with her parents, reading new books and drinking hot chocolate by the fireplace until Christmas Supper was ready.
"I uh...yeah..." Hermione turned away, pulling the vial into the throw but didn't move to take it. The overwhelming emotional roller coaster already starting to wear her mind thin, "It's my first Christmas alone..." She took a slow seat on the edge of his bed, her eyes fully trained on the floor, "Well not alone but...you know..." She chanced a glance up through her lashes but only found a curious and cautious look in return, "You're here."
"I am." Severus remained as he was, trying to get a read on just what was going through her thoughts; all he could gather was an overwhelming sense of loneliness, something to which he was very familiar.
"That makes me happy..." Slow tears rolled down her cheeks even though her lips curved into a smile, "I really did miss you...I know I'm just a pain in the arse but..."
Severus' face twitched as though he'd tasted something sour, his eyes watching her very closely. There was something wrong with the emotions on her face and the tone of her voice. Like she was happy to be sad. It hardly made sense to him but as in all puzzles, it intrigued him. A cautious step brought him closer to the bedside, but he didn't dare to sit beside her until she moved over just a little silently offering him a space.
"What did...What did your family do for Christmas?" Severus clasped his hands between his knees, looking at some odd point at the wall. The question had come after a small meditative pause, a small silence that only depressed the mood even farther.
"You'll find it horribly predictable..." Hermione didn't stop herself from leaning into his arm, her head nestling into his shoulder as she closed her eyes; more tears slowly falling down her cheeks.
"Try me." Severus didn't move aside from turning his head towards the one that now rested against him.
"We'd wake up early, have gingerbread pancakes, watch whatever Christmas Movie was playing on the telly then open the few gifts we had under the tree. Books mostly," A small smile curled up her cheek as she let herself fall into the memory, "Mum would make hot chocolate, Dad would get a small fire going and we'd all just find a comfortable place to read the day away..." Hermione pressed her face further into his arm, hiding the pain that curled around her eyes, "Sometimes, we'd go out for a dinner but usually Mum would cook a small roast..."
Severus could feel the strings holding her sanity aloft starting to grow taunt and slowly moved his arm from between his legs to around her shoulders, holding her head into his chest in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. As much as he didn't want to coddle the witch, he very much didn't want an emotionally unstable one on his hands either—or so he rationalized with himself.
"I believe we could do some of those things...so long as you agree not to call me Dad." Severus thought for a moment his wry choke had caused her to begin a full-grown fit but when her head lifted from his chest he witnessed the most brilliant tear-stained smile he'd ever come to know.
"Never." Hermione sniffled softly and absently wiped at her cheek, her eyes flicking to his lips for only a brief second before coming back to look directly into his eyes, "You're far too young."
"Cheeky." Severus took a slow breath looking back out into the ether, "What would you like first? Food or books?"
Hermione found herself completely smitten by his sudden interest in her emotional well-being. Part of her feared what had been the catalyst for the change but the other told her to simply enjoy the kindness while it lasted. Not wanting to push too far, she slowly pulled herself from his chest folding her hands pensively into her lap, "I suppose if I choose books you're going to feed me anyway?"
"You are clever aren't you?" Severus pushed himself up from the bed, wanting to get as much space as was polite between them. Every instinct inside his body was telling him to run, to close himself off into one of the many rooms of the house that he would never be able to call a home.
"That's what you tell me." Hermione tried not to let her happiness bubble over too brightly, she knew that she was walking on shaky untrodden ground.
Severus shook his head slightly before waving his hand towards the wardrobe in the far corner, "I don't have much but whatever you can find you may wear. Your wand is inside the bedside table. I shall expect you downstairs in no more than thirty minutes."
Hermione gave a mock salute to his back as he started to make his way out. When the door closed softly behind him she let out a slow breath and wiped the remaining tears from her lashes. Today—was going to be a very interesting day.
oOo
"I'm telling you, that woman was Hermione. I'd bet my life on it."
"You may very well do that." George looked to Bill before back to Ron, "They've sent these out today of all days," He pushed a wanted poster across the dimly lit table. Their small little meeting taking place in one of the backrooms of a far-off pub well outside their normal stomping grounds.
"Public enemy number one? She's beaten out Harry?" Ron was gobsmacked. The image didn't show much, a rather poorly drawn artists depiction that seemed to have been taken by witness' accounts.
"For now." Fred grinned at Harry before leaning back to cross his arms, "The streets are flooded with snatchers, all of them buying up our sweets and making a general nuisance of themselves."
Harry just pursed his lips, his brown furrowing even tighter as he tried to recall the face he'd seen before he'd fallen through the floor. It had been replaying in his waking and dreaming mind. Taunting him with answers just out of reach.
oOo
Hermione slipped the soft cotton shirt over her arms. She'd almost forgotten what it had been like to have her own clothes, her own style. Having so often found herself in the Professor's clothes or some other borrowed set of fabric. She'd chosen a deep green sweater that had been thickly knitted. It had hardly looked worn but was the perfect shield against the chill of the house.
She'd also picked a pair of slacks that she easily shrunk down to fit her small waist, they felt more worn but insulated well enough. A pair of thick wool socks had completed the ensemble making the world around her feel much less frigid. She'd taken the potion he'd left for her and had checked the bandage in the bathroom mirror to make sure she hadn't bled through. She hadn't.
Her steps were near silent as she made her way down the stairs, her hand lightly gliding against the worn banister as she cautiously came around the bend to the first floor. Her eyes widened to the organized disarray of the first floor. Stacks and stacks of books lined nearly every wall that was possible to hold them. Old titles most with spines worn away with time. It was like walking into an ancient library.
She turned left down the narrow hallway, following the smell of buttermilk pancakes, jam, and maple syrup. A door stood at the end of the hall but a small light shined through the seam and she gave it a cautious push, her eyes growing wide.
Severus stood at an old wood stove, his back to her as he slipped a rather perfect looking pancake from the griddle onto a plate. His movements were just as smooth and practiced as she remembered from his days in the potions classroom and she found herself mesmerized with the ease in which he moved about the cramped space. She'd never been one for cooking herself, not having the patience or palate to understand the subtle art.
"It smells wonderful."
Severus turned his head with a cocked brow, "I hope it tastes as good as it smells, it's been a very long time since I've used this kitchen."
"I can't tell." It was meant as a kind compliment, though she wasn't sure how he took it as he'd already turned his head away from her. Even in the small kitchen, she found books. It was almost laughable.
"Something amuses you?" Severus could actually feel her smile at his back but he didn't turn to confirm his suspicions. Instead, he moved to switch the fire from the stove over to the vents in the house hoping to keep the chill from becoming pneumonia-inducing.
"It's just...there are so many...I thought I was bad but...you've really put the biblio in bibliophile." Hermione hid her grin behind her hand as she came to the small stool that sat just in front of the island, as the only place to sit she wondered where he took his meals.
"I'll take the compliment." Severus turned with a plate in hand: jam on toast, two scrambled eggs and a pancake that was surely much too much for her to possibly finish.
Hermione leaned over just a fraction closing her eyes to let her other senses take in the visual before her. It smelled heavenly, warm, soft and safe. A most welcome feeling to her weary soul. Her mouth opened to ask where she might find silverware when all was provided. A shy smile painted her lips before she began to tuck in; taking a bite of pancake first.
Severus leaned back against the counter pulling his own plate in hand though he chose to take in a bite of eggs first. Unfortunately, before the bite could reach his mouth his arm gave a great tremor. Still under the after-effects of the cruciatus curse, the action caused his own curse to slurr past his lips right before he dropped his fork to the floor.
Hermione's hum of appreciation caught in her throat when the sound raised her eyes, "Professor?"
"I'm fine," Severus growled low and thumped his plate down onto the island hard enough to make the woman on the other side jump. Taking his traitorous hand into the other, he forcibly massaged the bones trying to get the tremor to subside by will alone.
Hermione pursed her lips unsure of what the proper course would be. She waffled back and forth for a few seconds before slowly coming to her feet, "You'll bruise yourself if you do it that way...let me see..." She reached slowly for his hand but he only jerked further away from her making her heart ache.
"Eat." Severus turned with a snap, throwing open a door at the far end of the kitchen with enough force to shake the small china cabinet that sat on the wall beside it.
A slow breath left her chest before Hermione found herself moving to follow him. Her brow furrowing with her desire to help the man who had done so much for her. Call it foolish Gryffindor bravery or just a death wish, she thumped herself down the stairs right behind him. "Why are you running from me? What have I done?"
Severus chose not to answer her plea, instead, he pulled the cord that would bring light to his small potions lab. He was sure he had more muscle relaxant potion down there somewhere, he just needed a clear mind to remember where it was.
"Professor?" Hermione's voice rose in tone and anger at his continued dismissal, "Severus! Stop!"
Severus let out a low hiss as another tremor ran up his back and right leg, a sign of weakness to anyone else, "I do not answer to you."
"No, you don't but you could give me the courtesy." Hermione took a tight hold of his arm her palm easily able to feel the growing tremor, "Please...I only wish to help you...why do you push me away?"
"Have I not given you enough of myself? Must you have every secret that I hold to my chest?" His words were like a viper's venom, his face coming well inside her own so that the only thing he could see was the widening of her eyes.
Hermione stood her ground despite every warning bell in her brain telling her to retreat, "I just want to help you..."
Severus' snarl turned into a small twitch, the tremor crawling up the right side of his neck, there were many things he could have responded with. Many hateful things that had she been anyone else would have easily passed his tongue. As it was, he only felt a small pain in his chest at his childish behavior, "I am not weak."
"I never said you were." Hermione's tone softened considerably as did her grip; her hand cautiously coming up to push some of the hair that had fallen over his face back behind his shoulder, "In fact, I find you to be the strongest person I've ever come to know..."
She could see the walls he'd tried to build around them slowly coming down, like sandcastles at high tide. It was then she realized that he was just as broken as she was. Just as vulnerable, just as afraid of caring for another. The fear of losing something so close to one's heart a thought too painful to bear. The only difference was, she wasn't prepared to lose, she was prepared to win—even if it cost her her own life.
Her body moved on its own, slowly rising up onto the tops of her toes as she pulled his dumbstruck head closer to her own. A brush of his nose against her cheek, a soft fluttering of lashes. The taste of his morning coffee on her tongue, then sweet painful bliss.