Fine is a 4 Letter Word.
Chapter 13
The next morning Kate made her way home from Port Douglas, 2Dads had insisted he travel with her but she checked out early so she could avoid an awkward car ride home. She flung open her front door and found Dutchy standing in her kitchen cooking breakfast. She clenched her jaw irritated, of course he was there, he looked up at her and smiled. She sighed with relief, 2Dads hadn't told him what had happened, she knew if he had that he wouldn't be this calm. She walked past him not saying a word and headed for her bedroom, Dutchy followed her and knocked on her door.
"You're gonna have to speak to me sooner or later…"
There was no response, he knocked again.
"I'm coming in whether you like it or not…"
He swung open the door and found her tucked into bed with the covers over her head, he whipped the covers off of her.
"Hey!"
She tried to yank them out of his grasp, but he was too strong, he pulled them completely off the bed. She curled herself up in a ball and avoided his glare.
"This is break and enter you realise?"
"I didn't break anything, Mike lent me your spare key…"
She let out a grunt and rolled over turning her back to him, he walked around to face her, she closed her eyes immediately and turned over again.
"Kate, you need to stop this!"
Dutchy's phone beeped, distracting her momentarily, he took it out of his pocket and glanced at the message, it was from 2Dads.
"I need to talk to you about Kate."
Dutchy hesitated before replying, he didn't really want to leave, he wouldn't put it past her to change the locks while he's gone. His phone beeped again.
"It's important…"
Dutchy looked up at caught Kate looking at him, she immediately turned back over as his eyes caught hers. He sighed and replied to the message as he headed for the front door.
"Where are you?"
"Meet me at NAVCOM…"
Kate rolled out of bed and locked her bedroom door, on her way back to bed she grabbed her covers off the floor and flung them back over her head, she could only assume that was 2Dads it was only a matter of time before he knew.
Dutchy walked into NAVCOM looking for 2Dads, he found him in Maxine's office with Mike, he knocked on the door and poked his head in.
"Ah, hi…"
Maxine stood and waved him in.
"Sit down, Dutchy…"
Dutchy sat next to 2Dads, he was confused as to why 2Dads had gathered Mike and Maxine, he nudged 2Dads and lent towards him.
"What's going on?"
2Dads looked up at Maxine, she nodded indicating for him to start. He was hoping that they were going to take the lead, he didn't want to be the one to explain.
"I, I saw Kate yesterday, when I was in Port Douglas…"
"Okay…"
2Dads concentrated on the floor, but he could still feel the 3 sets of eyes on him.
"Umm…"
2Dads glanced up at Maxine for help, he didn't know how to continue, how were you supposed to tell someone that their friend was nearly sexually assaulted?
"It's okay, 2Dads…"
Maxine moved her chair around the desk and sat next to Dutchy, he was now more worried.
"We think we need to talk to Kate as a group, she's obviously not coping. She's been able to fool us for this long, but it's clear that counselling hasn't worked and she's just told us what we wanted to hear."
Dutchy nodded in agreement, but he didn't know if talking to her as a group is what she needed.
"Yeah, but I don't know if an intervention will work, she's just going to see it as us ganging up on her. It could cause her to completely shut us out…"
Mike sighed, that's what he would have said, but he didn't feel like he should be the one to advise what was best for her now.
"Well, we're just a bit stuck, Dutchy, what would you recommend? You probably know her best."
Dutchy scoffed to himself, he didn't know her at all, not this Kate anyway.
"I don't know, she's just so shut off, like, she's just numb to everything…"
Maxine shifted in her seat, she hadn't been in this position before and she didn't like not having an answer.
"We're just concerned with the trial coming up it could push her over the edge. Do we know why she's not listening to anyone?"
Dutchy shook his head.
"I don't know how to get through to her…"
"Well, some of Jim's family are coming in for the trial, do you think she'd talk to them?"
Dutchy shrugged, he knew that everyone else was at a loss and they were right in the fact that he was the closest to her, but he had no answers and it made him feel useless.
"I really don't know, Ma'am…"
"Well, we've got to do something, have a bit of a think and let me know. Meanwhile, why don't you go make a nuisance of yourself and go see her."
"I was there when 2Dads messaged me, I'm gonna go back there now, if she hasn't changed the locks."
2Dads and Dutchy left Maxine's office, Dutchy pulled 2Dads towards him.
"What happened in Port Douglas?"
2Dads immediately broke eye contact, he didn't know how he was going to tell Dutchy what he had witnessed.
"Not here…"
They walked out of the building and sat in 2Dads car, Dutchy stared at him waiting for him to start, he whacked him on the arm as he became impatient.
"Okay, spill."
2Dads sat there trying to think of a way to explain, just thinking about what had happened made his stomach churn.
"Well, you know how we went on this boys trip?"
Dutchy nodded impatiently.
"Well, she was there…"
Dutchy frowned at 2Dads vague explanation.
"What? On your boys trip?"
He shook his head and fiddled with his keys.
"No, we were out at a club, and she was there…"
Dutchy scrunched up his face at the thought of Kate in a nightclub.
"Are you sure it was her?"
2Dads glanced up at him for a second and nodded.
"Yeah, she was dressed differently, and she was wearing a wig."
"2Dads, look I know she's acting a bit strangely but…"
2Dads was a little irritated that Dutchy didn't trust what he was telling him, he turned to face him and interrupted.
"It was her!"
Dutchy was taken aback by the abrupt tone in 2Dads voice, 2 Dads took a deep breath in a muttered.
"Trust me, it would have been better if it was anyone else…"
He shook his head slightly trying to erase the image of Kate huddled in the corner of the room with that petrified look on her face.
"She was there with this guy and, he was a creep, Dutchy, like, he was all over her…"
Dutchy heart raced, he gripped 2Dads arm, distressed about what was coming next.
"2Dads, what happened?"
"It's okay, I followed her back to her room, I got there in time…"
Dutchy closed his eyes and exhaled with relief and he ran his hands over his face, he couldn't believe that Kate would be so irresponsible, so reckless.
"What happened after that?"
"She tried to brush it off as fun, and she said she would have handled it, but, I don't know if she could have, she was smashed, Dutchy."
Dutchy felt so many things, he sympathised with her but now he was livid, he couldn't believe that she would put herself in that situation.
"Take me to her house, she's got to see sense…"
Dutchy leapt out of 2Dads car and persistently knocked on Kate's door, she lay in bed ignoring it, she placed a pillow over her face to try to drown out the noise. He got out the spare key and entered the house, he ran upstairs and tried her door; it was locked. He bashed on the door with his fist for a moment then stopped, realising that she could be scared, and he could have come across intimidating.
"Kate, please, I need to know that you're okay …"
He waited for a minute hoping that she would come to her senses, he let out a frustrated huff and went back downstairs and plonked himself on the couch and called out.
"Kate, I'm going to stay here all day and night until you talk to me…."
Half an hour later she hadn't surfaced, he called out again.
"I'm still here…"
She let out a growl and headed down the stairs, stopping before she got to the bottom.
"Can't you take a hint?"
He crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a smile.
"Nope…"
She stormed down the last few stairs and stood in front of him, her hands on her hips.
"I don't know what you want from me?!"
Dutchy stood up to confront her.
"I want you to tell me how you really feel…"
Kate hesitated, for a moment she thought about telling him the truth, but she couldn't, she didn't think she deserved to feel any less guilty.
"Why do you assume that I'm in pain, or that I feel anything, why can't this just be me?"
"Seriously? So you're telling me that you enjoy getting so drunk that people think they can take advantage of you…"
Kate's jaw nearly hit the floor, Dutchy could see that he had stunned her.
"Yeah, that's right, 2Dads told me. Do you have any idea how many people are worried about you?"
"That's not my problem! I never asked for help!"
Dutchy clenched his fists, there's no way he condoned violence but he was at the point where he wanted to slap some sense into her.
"Kate!"
He growled her name, she jumped at the volume of his voice. He stepped closer trying to get her to see the seriousness of the situation.
"Are you even registering what is going on here? Do you realise what could have happened to you yesterday?"
Kate stood there speechless, she did realise, but she had immediately blocked it out, because, if she thought about it, it might have broken her.
Dutchy took another step toward her sensing she was about to cave, he reached out to touch her arm.
"Kate, you need to talk to someone…"
She stepped back and snatched her arm away like his empathetic touch was diseased, and if she let him touch her that somehow she would be weaker. She needed him to back off, her aggression had returned, spawned from the memories of that night.
"Just because you felt guilty about someone dying on your watch doesn't make us the same.…"
Kate instantly felt sick as she watched as a bewildered expression come over Dutchy's face. She couldn't believe what she had just said, she had just used his deepest pain against him and she felt awful. She desperately tried to catch his eye hoping he could see how sorry she was, but he refused to even look at her.
"Dutchy, I'm…"
He shook his head in disgust and started to walk away.
"No, you're right Kate, we're not the same, not anymore…."
Deep down Dutchy knew she was just lashing out, but it didn't make it hurt any less. She knew that it was the darkest time in his life and she had used it to hurt him, he worried that there was no coming back from that. He left, he couldn't be around her in case he said something stupid in retaliation.
That night Dutchy tossed and turned in his bed not being able to get distraught face her out of his head. Kate did the same, she felt terrible for saying what she did, she knew he didn't deserve it, she was now hurting others and not only herself. She wanted to try to make it up to him, and maybe letting him in, just a little, was the way.
The next morning Dutchy awoke more determined than ever to get through to Kate, he knew for her to say something so awful like she did she had to be in so much pain. He was going to push, ignore whatever she threw at him, it was the only way.
He ran over to her house and swung open the door, she was standing at the kitchen bench eating a bowl of cereal, he stormed up to her and grabbed her wrist with some force.
"Come with me…"
She chucked her spoon in how bowl and tried to wriggle her wrist out of his grip, but it only made him hold her tighter.
"Dutchy, you're hurting me…"
Dutchy raised an eyebrow knowing she was trying to manipulate him.
"You're hurting yourself, Kate, come with me and I promise I'll make you feel better, even if it's just a little."
Kate stopped struggling for a moment, she was intrigued. It wasn't that she didn't want to feel better it's that she didn't know how to, she felt responsible for leaving Jim out there and how was she supposed to be forgiven when the only person who could do that was gone. Dutchy's eyes pleaded with her, she sighed, it was probably the least she could do after what she had said. Dutchy loosened his grip a little as he could see she was giving in.
"Please…"
She let out a huff and grabbed her bag.
They pulled up at a local recreation center, Dutchy looked over to Kate who had a puzzled look on her face.
"Don't question it…"
She sighed and opened the car door, Dutchy gave her an encouraging pat on the back.
He swung open the door and gave the guy standing the counter a friendly nod.
"Hey, Dave!"
"Dutchy, what are you doing here?"
He walked out from behind the counter and shook his hand.
"Ah, just back for a bit…"
Dave glanced at Kate, she gave him a slight smile.
"You in the Navy too?"
She nodded while Dutchy placed his arm around her shoulder.
"We're just gonna test out the mats if that's okay?"
"Yeah, no one's in there at the moment, go your hardest, don't hurt yourself!"
He winked at Dutchy and walked off.
Dutchy and Kate stood on the mat face to face, Kate wasn't enthusiastic about any of it.
"C'mon Kate..."
She flung her arms in the air not knowing what the point was.
"What do you want me to do?"
He chucked a pair of gloves at her.
"Put these on and hit me!"
She didn't bother catching them and they fell to the floor. She scrunched up her face and shook her head objecting,
"Dutchy, there's no way I can take you on..."
He stepped closer and picked up the gloves and placed them onto her hands.
"Kate, think of me as your grief, your anger, your hurt. It often feels bigger than you, like it's going to crush you. But you can defeat it, all you have to do is try."
Dutchy held up the pads and Kate closed her eyes trying to push all the bad thoughts out of her mind, but she couldn't. She felt like she was going to suffocate, she was so angry at herself for letting him stay on that boat. She clenched her eyes shut as tears streamed down her face, she held her breath and could hear Dutchy's voice but tried to drown it out.
"Kate! Push through it!"
She exhaled and opened her eyes, she let out a scream and let a 1,2 combo fly. The force stunned Dutchy and he stumbled backwards, she swept her leg under his feet and he dropped to the floor with a thud. She turned him over onto his stomach and held his arm behind his back. She froze trying to catch her breath and realised what she had done, she released her grip and Dutchy flipped on to his back and smiled.
"Well done..."
They turned as they heard clapping in the background, Dave approached them laughing.
"That was amazing! What's your name? I've gotta tell everyone that..."
Kate made her way to her feet and whispered, almost embarrassed about her actions.
"It's Kate..."
He smiled and nodded with approval.
"That Kate, kicked Dutchy's ass!"
Dutchy jumped to his feet and gave her a friendly nudge.
"Hey, when you tell people it was Kate McGregor, they'll understand..."
Dave tilted his head recognising the name.
"Lieutenant Commander, Kate McGregor?"
She nodded puzzled, how would he know who she is?
"Yeah, I've actually heard of you, you were on Hammersley when Captain Roth..."
Dutchy gave him a look to say "stop!" He noticed and looked at Dutchy strangely. Kate walked off and pretended to look around, Dutchy hit him on the arm.
"Dave!"
"What?"
"Kate was Jim's fiancée..."
Dave cringed feeling like an idiot.
"Shit!"
He ran after Kate and sheepishly tapped her on the shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realise..."
She spun round and shook her head slightly dismissing his apology.
"Don't worry about it."
She immediately turned and walked off so he wouldn't see her tears, Dutchy ran up to him and they both watched as Kate walked out the building.
"I hope i didn't upset her…"
Dutchy gave him a concerned glance and went after Kate, he caught up to her and grabbed her by the shoulder.
"Kate... "
She spun round, tears pouring from her eyes.
"What are we doing? it this supposed to be some kind of 5 step program bullshit?"
"No, Kate, but even if it was, I think it was working."
"Just take me home Dutchy."
The car ride home was silent, he pulled up in her driveway and she swung open the door before the car had come to a complete stop. She ran upstairs and threw herself onto the bed and balled herself up in the covers and started to cry.
Dutchy sat next her her on the bed and sighed, maybe he had pushed too much.
"Kate, you can't keep hiding…"
She didn't respond.
"Kate, we're worried, the trial is coming up and I'm sure you want to be able to help put her away. Maybe this is what you need, some closure?"
Kate scoffed and turned her body slightly.
"How can I get closure with him, he's dead…"
She rolled back over and continued to sob, he rubbed her back trying to soothe her.
"I'm gonna be here as long as it takes…"
Dutchy sat there for what felt like hours rubbing her back, the sobs eventually stopped, he leaned over to see her face, she was asleep. He rose from the bed carefully so he wouldn't disturb her and went downstairs, he picked up her phone and scrolled through the contacts looking for her counselor's name, he stopped as he saw one labeled Dr Cowan and dialed the number.
"Hi, um, my name is Dylan and I'm a friend of Kate McGregor's, I need to talk to you about her, I'm worried…"
End of Chapter 13.
Please let me know what you thought! Xx