Okay, I spoke too soon, I have re-written this chapter 3 times! Ahhh!
Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! I hope you all enjoyed my first attempt at one shot, love that we're slowly converting some more Kate and Dutchy fans *insert evil laugh*
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
Fine is a 4 Letter Word.
Chapter 15.
The next morning Dutchy awoke lying diagonal across Kate's bed, he forgot where he was for a minute and he rubbed his eyes trying to focus. He hopped out of bed and made his way downstairs, he found Kate sitting on the couch staring at the drawer full of memories. He sat next to her and pulled out a photo.
"It's a nice photo…"
She didn't respond, Dutchy placed a hand on her knee trying to gauge whether she was listening.
"Kate?"
She took the photo from him and placed it back in the drawer.
"I can't do it…"
"Can't do what?"
She shook her head and got up, sliding the drawer back in its place. She spun round on the verge of tears.
"I want to remember him, I do, I want to have photos of him around the house but I just can't…"
He stood and gave her a hug, he wished he could just squeeze the guilt out of her.
"Kate, don't be so hard on yourself… it'll take time…"
She exhaled and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"I think I want to see her…"
"Who?"
Kate removed herself from his embrace and sat back on the couch, Dutchy was confused about who she was talking about.
"Who, Kate?"
She inhaled sharply afraid of his reaction.
"Madeline…"
Dutchy was lost for words, he wasn't expecting her to say her name.
"Really?"
"I think it might help?"
Dutchy didn't understand how it would help, if it didn't help seeing Jim's family how could it possible help seeing the person who was responsible for his death?
"How?"
She shrugged sensing that he wasn't agreeable.
"I dunno, maybe to know why she did it? I was wondering whether you could help?"
Dutchy had mixed feelings about it, he was happy that she was thinking about how to over come her guilt but he was worried that it could blow up in her face.
"You know that you can't just rock up and see her right? You need to be on the visitor list, that she needs to approve, and I doubt she'll do it…"
Kate was a little disappointed that Dutchy was more supportive, but then she remembered Dutchy had his own issues with Madeline. She glanced over to him feeling a little bad that she asked him.
"Sorry Dutchy, I forgot that you guys…"
He shook his head, dismissing his comment, he didn't want to be reminded.
"It doesn't matter Kate, I just don't think it's worth the stress…"
She was getting agitated, he had been hassling her to help herself yet he wouldn't help when she asked for it.
"Well you don't have to help me, I'll figure it out myself."
Kate got of the couch and grabbed her tablet and sat on at the kitchen bench. Dutchy sighed and walked up behind her.
"It's not that I don't want to help, Kate…"
She sat there ignoring him and typed in the website for the Department of Correctional Services. He let out a frustrated huff and snatched the tablet away and took out his phone.
"I've got a mate that works there, let me call him…"
She spun round and leapt up and gave him a hug.
"Thanks, Dutchy!"
He peeled her arms off his neck, and let out a grunt, why did he always give in to her.
"Yeah, whatever…"
He unlocked his phone and scrolled though his contacts and lifted the phone to his ear. He paced around the lounge room talking to his contact and Kate sat nervously on the couch.
20 minutes later he hung up, Kate sat on the edge of the couch looking hopeful.
"Well?"
Dutchy shook his head and placed his phone back into his pocket.
"It's not looking good Kate, she's it maximum security, there's no way around the protocols and that could take weeks. "
She crossed her arms over her chest and wondered if he was lying because he didn't think it was a good idea. Dutchy sat down next to seeing she wasn't impressed.
"If I could make it happen, I would, he suggested that we fill in the paperwork and see what happens…"
Kate sighed, she got up and grabbed her tablet and walked upstairs and into her room. Dutchy heard the door slam, he rubbed his hands over his face.
Dutchy spent the day pottering around Kate's house, he didn't approve of her attitude earlier but he hoped that it was a part of her next step of grief. He wasn't going to be deterred, he promised himself that he would be there for her no matter what.
He sat on the couch watching TV, suddenly her heard a scream and a thud, he bolted up the stairs and into Kate's room.
"Kate, are you okay?"
She was sitting on her bed, elbows on her knees and hands covering her face. He looked around for the cause of the strange noise, her iPad was in the corner of the room with a cracked screen. He sighed and picked it up and sat on her bed.
"Kate?"
"It was denied…"
"Kate, this doesn't mean you can't get closure…"
"I know, but, I don't know what more I can do…"
Dutchy sat there not knowing what to say, he didn't have an answer either. She rolled on to her side and pulled the blanket over her head.
"I just need to be alone, Dutchy…"
He nodded, he knew arguing wasn't going to be productive.
Later that evening Dutchy had made them some dinner, Kate hadn't left her room since she asked to be left alone. He took a plate up to her room and knocked, he poked his head in, it was dark.
"Kate?"
There was no response, he flicked on the light, she was awake but closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep, she still didn't want to talk. Dutchy turned off the light and headed back downstairs, he wanted her to get plenty of rest. Tomorrow was the hearing, and he was concerned how she would react to seeing Madeline after being rejected.
It was the early hours of the morning, Kate had tossed and turned all night, she flung back the covers with a huff and rolled out of bed. She tapped on the door of the spare room where Dutchy was sleeping.
"Dylan?"
He was already awake, he turned over and turned on the lamp.
"Yeah?"
She crawled into his bed and snuggled into his side.
"Did I wake you?"
"Nah, I was already awake…"
She turned off the lamp, and they lay there in darkness, Kate broke the silence as she sighed heavily.
"I'm sorry for being difficult today, I just don't know what's wrong with me…"
"Kate, you don't need to apologise, and there's nothing wrong with you."
He let out a laugh.
"Plus, I've become accustomed to you being a pain in the ass.."
She scoffed and pinched him on his upper arm, he barley flinched and laughed.
"No fat there, just muscle…"
"But seriously, thanks…"
He pulled her closer and gave her a squeeze.
"C'mon, lets get some sleep…"
Dutchy awoke the next morning and rolled over, Kate was snoring beside him, he smiled, he was glad she was able to get some sleep.
He tried to lean over to check his phone without disturbing her, but she was lying on his arm, she started to stir as he reached over her.
"Dutchy?"
"Sorry, just checking the time…"
She sat up and he grabbed his phone, it was 8am.
"You still sure you want to go today?"
"Yeah, I think I need to…"
"Okay, well, it's at 10, so we should get ready soon, okay?"
She nodded again and headed to her en-suite and closed the door. Dutchy got ready downstairs and sat on the couch waiting for her, he looked at his phone, it was 9:15am, he was about to get up and go back upstairs to check on her but he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He smiled as he saw Kate walking down the stairs, her makeup was done, hair washed and she was wearing a floral dress.
"You look nice…"
She forced a smile and ran her hand over her dress.
"This was Jim's favourite, I wore it when I met Penny the other day…"
"Well, he had good taste…"
"Yeah…"
She gathered her bag and headed for the door, he watched her as she walked to the door, she was starting to look like her old self. She waved her hand in his face breaking his concentration.
"We going?"
He nodded and grabbed his wallet and phone, he smiled as he opened the front door for her feeling lot more positive about the day.
They arrived at the courthouse and sat in the car for a moment, they watched as the crew started to gather out the front. Kate sat there watching them having a chat, a laugh. She envied the smiles on their faces, Dutchy looked over to her sensing she was uncomfortable.
"You okay?"
Kate took a deep breath in and nodded, she opened the car door and attempted a smile as they approached the rowdy crew. They all stopped talking as they saw her approach, she cringed a little as she saw their faces, the smiles had gone, replaced by sympathetic looks. Dutchy cleared his throat.
"Ah, we going in?"
They all nodded trying not to concentrate their gaze on Kate, Dutchy placed a hand on Kate's shoulder letting her know he was right beside her.
They entered the foyer of the courthouse, Kate glanced around the sea of faces wondering if Penny and Jim's mum would be here. She turned and caught a glimpse of Penny and looked away immediately, she didn't mean to be rude but she didn't know how much she could handle.
She heard a commotion and turned back in her direction, she watched as Penny tried to restrain a woman who she assumed was their mum.
"Mum, she asked to be left alone…"
The woman smiled in Kate's direction and caught her eye, Penny pulled a bit harder.
"Mum!"
Kate took a deep breath in and gave Penny a nod, she slowly released her grip on the woman's arm, she approached Kate with a giant smile on her face.
"Kate?"
Kate put on a smile and tried to give herself a pep talk, you're fine, Kate, just try and relax.
"Kate McGregor?"
She nodded and glanced back Dutchy making sure he was close in case she couldn't cope. He caught her eye and gave her an encouraging smile. The woman reached out and held Kate's hand.
"Kate, I'm Deb, Jim's mum…"
Kate stood there speechless, worried that she would say something inappropriate.
"Penny, said you weren't ready the other day, and I totally understand. We weren't sure if you were going to come today and I don't want to overwhelm you but we're family and if it's any day that we need to be together it's today…"
Kate nodded, Deb smiled and pulled her in for a hug, Kate felt her eyes well with tears, she felt a type of comfort that she hadn't felt since she was last with Jim. They parted and Deb held her hands in hers.
"Thank you, thank you for making my boy so happy…"
Deb wiped the tears from her cheeks and gave her hands a squeeze.
"And you are just as lovely as he described."
"Thank you…"
Is all Kate could manage, all she wanted to do was apologise, apologise for leaving him out there, apologise for not making him leave the boat. Dutchy could see that she was struggling, he reached out a placed a hand on her shoulder.
Deb focused her attention on Dutchy who was hovering behind Kate trying not to intrude on their moment.
"You must be Dylan…"
It surprised Dutchy that she knew who he was.
"Ah, yeah, pleasure to meet you…"
He reached out and shook her hand.
"How did you know who I am?"
Deb smiled an all-knowing smile.
"Jim said that Kate had a best friend, he said that he'd always look out for her and have her back."
Dutchy was touched that Jim had spoken so kindly of him, Deb chuckled and shook her head.
"But, he also said that he was just as good looking as him. He joked that he was worried that one day Kate would realise, and they'd start some Navy love affair."
Dutchy glanced at Kate and let out a laugh, Kate hadn't heard the joke, she was somewhere else. Dutchy squeezed her shoulder.
"Ah, I think we should head in…"
Kate nodded but as she went to walk away Deb re-griped Kate's hand.
"Would you sit with us?"
Kate glanced at Dutchy, he had become like a security blanket, Deb saw their exchange and smiled.
"Dylan, is more than welcome too…"
Kate gave a slight nod, and they headed towards the courtroom, the Hammersley crew had already positioned themselves in the middle of the benches. Deb and Penny headed for the front section, Kate walked down the aisle and hesitated halfway down, not sure she could deal with the situation. Dutchy bumped into her as she stopped, he whispered in her ear.
"You can do this…"
She continued to walk to the front and sat next to Deb, Deb reached over and held Penny's hand, she looked over to Kate and outstretched her hand, Kate placed her hand in Debs and exhaled.
The Judge entered the room and sat while they guard brought in Madeline Cruise, Kate felt Deb squeeze her hand as she walked passed them. Madeline caught Kate's eye and held her glare until she reached the holding area. Kate felt all the hairs stand on their ends, she suddenly felt enraged, she imagined herself jumping the railing and strangling her. The Judge cleared his throat bringing her back.
"Ms Cruise, you have pleaded guilty to the following charges, conspiring to provide and providing information to a terrorist group, supplying materials to help carry out a terrorist attack, supporting a foreign terrorist organization, provide support for a weapon of mass destruction and lastly 2 counts of murder."
The court room was silent, all Kate could hear was the beat of her own heart, she felt sick to her stomach.
"I have gone over all the evidence and statements, and I know that you have cooperated with authorities. However, you have shown little remorse for your actions and the lives you have taken, the only remorse you have shown was to plead guilty…"
Dutchy leaned over and whispered in her ear.
"You okay?"
Kate couldn't hear him, she just wanted the judge to get on with it.
"For the acts of terrorism, I sentence you to 15 years in prison…"
Kate held her breath and blindly reached over and grabbed Dutchy's hand and gripped it tight. This couldn't be happening, it wasn't enough, she deserved more. Dutchy squeezed her hand back hoping she could keep it together.
"And for the 2 counts of murder, I sentence you to 2 life sentences, with a non-parole period of 40 years."
Kate exhaled with relief, she closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks, a weight had been lifted but it brought a flood of thoughts into her mind, Dutchy glanced over to her, he could see the anger in her eyes as she stood from the bench and slowly made her way over to the holding bay. Madeline didn't take any notice as Kate stood in front of her trying not to lose it.
"Why did you do it?"
Madeline glanced down at her for a second and scoffed and ignored her, Kate didn't move she glared at her not believing her insolence.
"You murdered 2 amazing people, do you feel nothing? Why did you do it?"
Madeline rolled her eyes and leaned down and whispered in Kate's ear.
"I bet it kills you not to know, you wanna know why?
Kate's eyes widened, she couldn't believe it, she was going to get an answer. Madeline positioned her face in front of Kate's, staring her directly in her eyes.
"Because I could…"
Madeline laughed and evil laugh and was escorted from the room.
Kate stood there frozen, Dutchy walked up behind her, she turned and ran out of the courthouse. She leaned against the car, her hand on her chest, gasping for air. Dutchy ran up behind her and stopped a few steps away not wanting to crowd her.
"Kate, are you okay?"
"I just don't understand, she pleaded guilty, why would you did that if you weren't sorry…"
Dutchy opened the car door, Kate sat with her legs outside the car and her head in her hands. Dutchy knelt down beside her desperate to know what she had said.
"What did she say?"
Kate shook her head.
"She's evil…"
Dutchy didn't want to make a big deal of it, the day had been stressful enough.
"C'mon, I'll take you home."
They arrived back at her house, she flung open the door and walked into the kitchen to get herself some water.
Dutchy walked into the lounge room not knowing what to do, Kate was silent the whole ride home, he wasn't sure what Madeline had said to her but he was sure it didn't give her the closure she wanted. He walked in to the lounge room trying to think of another plan, he glanced over to the drawer of memories and opened it slowly. He smiled at the photo of Kate and Jim on their first date and placed it on the mantle. Kate was heading upstairs when her eye caught the glint of the photo frame.
"What are you doing?"
He hesitated, he didn't mean for it to be a big deal, he just thought it was a small step that could help.
"Kate, now she's going away I thought..."
Kate's blood began to boil, she was infuriated by Madeline's comment earlier and she needed an outlet, she didn't mean for it to be Dutchy, but she couldn't help it.
"Oh, so you're an expert now?"
Dutchy couldn't believe the attitude he was copping.
"Why are you suddenly mad at me? This morning you were doing better, you talked to Jim's mum, you…"
She opened the drawer and swept the photo inside and slammed it shut.
"I'm gonna go have a shower…"
Kate stood under the flow of water wishing it would wash all her problems away, she didn't mean for things to get this out of hand but everything had just snowballed.
Madeline's sentence was a relief, she got what she deserved, but it didn't give her the closure she thought it would, and now she didn't know what would help.
Her breathing became fast and shallow, she stepped out of the shower feeling strange, she wrapped a towel around herself and sat on her bed. She couldn't control her breathing and she felt like she was going to hyperventilate. She was frightened and called out for Dutchy, she felt like her heart was going to explode.
Dutchy burst into the room just as Kate felt her body give way, he caught her before she hit the floor.
"Kate!"
He lay her on the floor, she wasn't conscious but she was still breathing but it was too fast, he took out his phone and dialed 000.
End Chapter 15.
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