I really wish I would have been kinder to you. You were my first friend and I know you deserved so much better than what life has given you. I was so sorry to hear about your mom's passing, was that why you didn't come to graduation? I really miss you, I wish I could see you again. I'm getting married. I don't know if you'd be happy to hear but I wanted you to know. I still want to be your friend Severus. I hope in time we can be.

Yours Truly,

Lily

Severus' thumb moved slowly over the well-worn paper, his nail tracing the letters of the signature. He had been sitting pensively for hours, his fury taken over by regret and enouement. How he wondered what the future held for his vision of what should have come to be had become such a tangled web. His wont of ellipsism was disquiet. His deep eyes turned to the beautiful blue spectral of his Patronus standing just beside him.

It had taken longer than expected to take its form, leaving his heart torn. He would never say that he'd fallen in love with another, that place in his heart was solidly held by another. Yet still, he found himself trying to give a name to his missteps. He had never meant to do as he had, never meant to allow the girl to come inside his world. His tightly confined and rigorously restrained world.

It enraged him beyond comprehension how his nodus tollens had taken over nearly every aspect of his pensive. It had been so clear before. Protect the boy, die in the final days, be forgotten in history. How had his want to be loved by another, to be seen as a human being have wrought such destruction? How could one act of mercy have rewritten his entire destiny?

A deep breath raised his chest from the back of his chair and he rolled his head towards the mirror on his desk. His fingers absently ran through the light of the doe beside him as he watched Miss Granger move through the darkened streets. It was a risky but calculated move, a plan al her own to try and weed out information from the goblins who worked at the bank. He had furiously told her that if she were to leave he would no longer stand by to protect her but like many times in his life—he had lied.

oOo

Hermione curled her lips and nose to the horrid smell of weeks old refuse that lined the dirty streets. She'd skillfully kept to the shadows, using a combination of disillusionment charms and notice-me-not spells. His words of dismissal rung hard in her ears. She wanted to believe that it had been solely his anger talking but in her heart, she feared that she had pushed her luck too far.

She had never wanted to deceive him and to her, she felt as though his reaction had been well overexaggerated. She had wanted to tell him so but something in his eyes had held her tongue. Instead, she bid him a good day and left through the front door making sure it hit the frame as she threw it open. Three steps out of his wards she'd been gone a deep crack of thunder echoing in her wake.

A small lick to her bottom lip brought her finger up to her ear cuff, she didn't know if he was watching her or not but if he was, she wanted to make sure that he heard everything she did. It was every bit of her intention to return to him and finish what they'd started. She wasn't about to let him throw whatever was between them away. If nothing else, he was...her friend and she was loyal to her friends—to the very end.

"Imperio." Hermione's under-breath spell hit its target expertly, the small goblin going still in his walk before a whispered suggestion sent him back on his way.

Hermione stayed close enough to keep the spell strong but not close enough to be spotted. She knew deep down in her heart that she'd very much broken the law and with it stepped fully into the realm of dark magic. She knew exactly what the spell was capable of, what she could have this goblin do for her. It was oddly empowering and disempowering at the same time.

Hermione pulled her hood down low, tucking her hands into her pockets trying to act as casual as possible. Most people gave her a wide birth, but she wouldn't let her guard down. Her eyes were constantly looking for any possible threat, her ears keen to anyone who might be trying to sneak up on her. It was just as she was passing the pub when a strong smell assaulted her senses causing her to root to the spot.

A deep voice ran down her spine as the man who owned it walked straight behind her. It took everything in her power not to turn but she did shift her eyes, catching a glimpse of platinum blond hair as they passed. A slow breath left her chest as she pushed herself back onto task. She needed to remain focused if she were to survive being so much out in the open.

With the strength she had gained over the past few months she regained control back over her feet and quickly slipped into the alley where she'd sent the goblin she'd been following after. She had instructed him to lead her to the back door of Gringotts, the one only Goblins had access to. Of course, she'd read about it in her younger years. A special door just for those of their kind. She only hoped that there were no other magics protecting the door.

When the Goblin stopped so did she, her eyes turning up to notice that they weren't beside Gringotts but rather the building directly behind it. A seemingly solid wall began to open, similar to the spell that led to Diagon Alley. Cautious, she checked her notice-me-not smell before closing the distance between them. It was just as she was about to step in after him that she felt an invisible wall blocking her path.

"Of course..." A sharp snarl curled over her lips before she pointed her wand at the Goblin's back. Another whispered unforgivable curse changed his mission and she stepped back out of the doorway as it began to close. Now, all she had to do was wait and pray that there was nothing to remove her spell from his form, "Tempus." She would wait no longer than a half an hour, after that, she'd return to the safety of Hogwarts.

oOOo

"We've got nowhere else to look." Harry sighed heavily flipping through Hermione's journal, "She must have had an idea..."

Ron let out a deep sigh putting a mouthful of potatoes into his mouth, "How many are even left?"

"The snake, uh...she's written here uh a diadem? What's that?"

"No idea mate."

"And a cup, we know the snake is with Vo-You know who. The Diadem thing is possibly hidden at Hogwarts but she's no location for the cup...it looks like she'd written something but erased it." Harry squinted holding the book up so he could try and see what had been imprinted on the page. "A gift? Given? Faithful?"

"Given to someone as a gift?" Ron licked his lips before leaning over to try and see for himself, "Who would take a gift like that?"

"Someone who knew its importance..." Harry's brows furrowed as he tried to piece it all together.

oOo

Hermione sighed heavily, lazily casting another tempus charm. Her time for waiting was up. She greatly wondered if there had been protections against the imperios curse when the blocks to which she'd been leaning began to shift. Quickly, she pulled herself away and down a ways just in case the person coming out wasn't whom she was expecting.

Her heart relaxed when the same Goblin she'd bewitched stepped through holding an old looking book. She pushed herself from her hiding spot and leaned down to accept the tome before she pressed her hand to the broach on her coat.

She landed on her feet with a soft sigh before her ears alerted her to two male voices that were quickly coming closer. Thinking fast she moved around behind the desk and quickly pushed herself in the small space beneath. She pulled her hood down over her face and curled herself as tight as she could before going completely still.

"I've helped you all I can today. Go home, read the texts that I've given you. It is all you can do."

"Thank you, Godfather." Draco let out a heavy sigh coming out behind the man. His eyes turned out over the room casually before he made his path towards the fireplace, "Oh, one last thing? Do you have anymore dreamless sleep?"

"No, I'll have to make more." Severus pulled out his chair from the desk, his body still weak from his punishment, "When are you to be out?"

"The day after tomorrow. We're going to the Lovegoods."

"For what purpose?"

"They haven't told me." Draco scratched the back of his head, his shoulders heavy and his eyes dark. He suspected his very own classmate would be his first true kill. The knowledge of it did not sit well inside his chest.

"You know where to find me."

"Yes, sir." With only a small nod, Draco turned into the fireplace, "Malfoy Manor."

Severus waited until the flames had completely died down before parting his knees to look down between. He had felt her presence as soon as he'd sat down, "Were you successful?"

"Sort of..." Hermione ran her hand up his inner thigh as she slowly moved forward, the muscle beneath twitching under her palm, "I got this." She pushed the book up through the small space before shifting just a bit more hoping that he'd get the hint to back the chair up so that she could remove herself from under the desk.

"A book?"

"A record log," Hermione smirked a little when he crossed his legs, forcing her hand to slip between before he moved them out of her way. As cautiously as she could, she climbed out from beneath before making some adjustments to her coat, "Perhaps not here?"

"Of course." Severus glanced to the fireplace before pushing himself up to his feet. Truthfully, he was just glad she hadn't returned injured in some way or another.

Hermione grinned at his back when he made an adjustment to his jacket before leading the way back into his rooms. She thumbed over her shoulder with a curiously raised brow as they came up onto the rise, "Extracurriculars?"

"Draco is set to join a hunting party." Severus pushed open the door giving her his own brow as she passed, "We cannot interfere."

"You cannot interfere."

"Do you think this is a game?" Severus' tone went sharp and his hand took hold of her bicep with a punishing grip, spinning her around to face him.

"Not a game." Hermione raised her chin doing her best to not feel cowed, "A war. A war to which we need as many players on the field as possible."

"You cannot save everyone." His eyes bored heavily into hers, the weight of his words from his own experience.

"No...I can't..." Hermione licked her bottom lip meeting his hardened gaze with her own softening one, "But I can try."

Severus' face twitched before his eyes closed and his hand released. He wanted to take all that hope inside her and tear it to pieces. it was wrong to feel that way he knew but he was so tired of watching those so much lighter than himself perish to their foolish ideals.

"Severus, hear me speak." Hermione raised her hands to his arms keeping him from pushing past her, "I am going to do everything I possibly can to save this world with the life you've given me. I'm sorry...I can't just stay here and do nothing when there's a chance I can do something."

"I won't always be here to put you back together."

"I know..." Hermione lowered her eyes, letting her forward rest on his chest, "But you're here now...and I need you..."

Severus took a slow calming breath before gently pulling her from his chest. With only a purse to his lips, he moved past her and towards the fireplace. He had nothing to say to her confession, nothing that he was sure wouldn't begin another round of argument about his outlook on life. So instead, he decided to get to the task at hand.

Hermione's face fell as she moved to join him, why was it every time she confessed some part of her heart to him he found it impossible to just say what was so clearly on his face? Why was it so hard for him just to accept that someone cared about him? That someone just wanted to make him feel worthy of the love he had been so vehemently denied?

"This is an inventory book." Severus crossed his legs further distancing himself from the woman in front of him while resting the book on top, "Everything in the Lestrange Vault."

"That's good right?" Hermione took her seat across from him, curling her legs into the chair.

"That remains to be seen..." Severus began to flip through the dates, he wasn't sure when the wild woman was given the cup but he was sure she moved it to her vault sometime before her incarceration or just after her escape. It was a lot of time to sort through; thankfully, he was a fast reader.

Hermione sighed softly and curled herself further into the chair. She could tell that this was going to require silence to yield results. So instead, she shifted her thoughts toward Luna and her father. She'd already fought the scariest witch what was a few snatchers and Draco bloody Malfoy?

oOo

Severus believed he'd found what he'd been looking for though when he'd raised his head to share his findings he'd found Granger sleeping peacefully in the chair across from him. He had taken a moment to simply take her in before he'd forced himself from his chair and towards the office.

He believed he'd found the proper log, it had been vague but the date and time lined up with his parameters. The next problem was getting it out of the vault. Of course, he'd put the fake sword of Gryffindor into her vault. Problem was, he had no excuse to enter for a second time. He'd either need to create a scenario and risk the suspicion or find a way to break into the most secure wizarding vault in the land. Neither of which held much promise.

The other issue at hand was trying to figure out a way to keep Granger from chasing after the snatchers who were set to attack the Lovegood's. He was sure aside from literally tying her to the bed—something to which brought back the most unpleasant of memories—he was sure there was nothing on heaven or earth that was going to stop her silly Gryffindor ways from breaching the safety of the castle.

As he sat behind his desk he allowed his mind to wander between the impossible and the improbable before it drifted to the more recent turn of events their relationship had taken. From this, a new idea began to form in his mind's eye. A dark and most unforgivable path to take. He almost felt guilty even thinking about it yet what choices were laid before him?

On one hand, his idea would very possibly dissolve any ridiculous childhood notions she held about him. While on the other he risked breaking any trust that laid between them. That in addition to the small possibility that his plan would fail and he'd find himself in an even worse mess than what he'd found himself in left him deep inside his pensive.

He wasn't sure how long he'd sat, staring aimlessly into the darkening world just beyond the stained glass of the high tower but it was long enough for him to be startled by a shrill scream coming from his chambers. It was a pained scream he had often heard in the nights before she'd shared his bed yet still, it raised his heart rate and worried his brow.

He was out of the office and into his chambers in a few long strides and beside the chair in which she rested. On bent knee he took hold of her face, pressing his thumb into her wet cheeks while he tried to make sense of the gibberish that poured out of her mouth. When her eyes, wide with fear, opened he was able to see the fleeting images of her nightmare before she had her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. Apologies whispered into his collar.