Linc or Swim
On a hot summer day, the loud kids went to a pool to cool off. Anastasia walked out of the girls' changing room in a pink bathing suit with an red flower on it.
Anastasia: [inhale the air and exhale it] Ahh, nothing spell pool without cool. [realize what she said] I know what i mean.
[Sees her uncle and the two ran to the pool for a cannonball. However...]
Lifeguard: Loud family, out!
[The Loud kids are leaving the pool]
Lynn: But we were just having fun.
Lifeguard: Chicken fights during Senior Swim are not "fun".
Mrs. Jelinski: [shaking her fist in anger] I just replaced this hip!
[The other seniors look back at the kids with concerned or angry expressions]
Later...
Anastasia: Ok, let's do this again.
[Anastasia and Lincoln ran to the pool for a cannonball for a second time. However...]
Lifeguard: Loud family, out!
[The loud kids are leaving the pool once again, while the lifeguard shoves Lincoln and Anastasia out. Lana is holding a spoon in her hand]
Lana: But we were just having fun.
Lifeguard: Drinking pool water is not fun.
Lana: But it tastes like chicken noodles soup.
Lifeguard: Fine, but did you have to add the celery and carrots?
[The camera zooms out to reveal that Lana has littered the pool with slices of celery and carrots. The lifeguard scoops some of these slices out witg his pool skimmer]
To another pool...
Lifeguard: Loud family, out!
[For the third time today, the loud kids are leaving the pool once again. Anastasia is not happy about it]
Anastasia: [upset] ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHO WAS IT THIS TIME?! [leaves]
Lori: But we were just having fun.
Lily: Poo poo.
Lifeguard: Fecal incidents are not fun.
[Camera cuts to the now emptied pool, where people in hazmat suits scrub the walls of the pool to get rid off Lily's excrement while pedestrians look on. Camera shows another glance of the sun, then shows the twelve kids walking home]
Lori: Come on, guys. We'll just find another pool.
Lisa: Actually, we've been suspended from every aquatic recreation center within a 60 mile radius.
[Everyone stops and groans in agony]
Lori: Seriously? How are we gonna keep cool now?
[The girls start grumbling in frustration]
Anastasia: [talks quietly] Maybe if you dumbnuts would've behaved better, maybe we wouldn't be suspended from every pool. [to Lincoln] Which amind me. Remind me to go pay that second lifeguard a visit to pay her back for shoving me out earlier.
Lola: Well, maybe if Lana didn't turn the one of the pools into an soup kitchen, maybe we wouldn't!
Lana: Well they should stop making chlorine so delicious!
Lincoln: So that's it, then. No more pool for the Louds. [gets an idea] That's it! 'Pool for the Louds!' Why didn't i think of that sooner? [heads off while his sisters keep grumbling; Anastasia follow him]
[Over at Good Sport Sporting Goods. Lincoln is looking for new swimming pool and picks up the DELUX SWIMMING POOL which is Muscle Fish approved and has a warning label that says it has dangerous levels of fun and is a drowning hazard]
Anastasia: Whoa, this look nice.
Lincoln: The perfect family pool. Just imagine...
[Lincoln has a fantasy about getting ready to dive into his new pool]
Lincoln: On a hot summer day, there's nothing like a refreshing dip in your own pool. [charges toward it] CANNONBALL! [suddenly comes to a screening halt]
Lola: Ah ah ah! Don't you dare splash me, Lincoln Loud! This outfit cannot get wet.
[It is revealed that his sisters have taken up the pool even in his own fantasy]
Lincoln: But it's a swimsuit.
Lola: [scoffs] It's a swim gown, you Philistine.
Lana: [adding the celery and carrots and singing] "Mama's little baby loves shortenin', shortenin" [scoops some water up and takes a sip]
Lynn: Who wants to chicken fight?
[Luna lets out a war cry]
Leni: [with a chicken on her back] I'm in!
[The chicken tries to get away from Leni but she held on it tight]
Lana: Mmm...just what my soup needs...
Lincoln: I can't even get into the pool in my own fantasy!
Lori: FECAL INCIDENT!
[All the girls except Lily run away for obvious reasons]
Lincoln: NOOOOOOOO!
[Fantasy end]
Anastasia: Hey, are you going to buy it or not?
Lincoln: Maybe not.
Anastasia: Well, pick something so we can leave. I don't like the way the casher is looking at me. [shows the casher looking at Anastasia like he is watching her to make sure she doesn't start chaos]
Lincoln: Alright. [put the pool he had back and finds an individual one] Oh! Paradise for One. Just imagine... [was about to imagine himself in the pool again but got interrupted by Anastasia]
Anastasia: Hello!
Lincoln: Fine. Let's go.
[At the Loud House; the girls are in the kitchen trying to cool off with the contents from the freezer; Lincoln and Anastasia sees them and tries hide the pool from them]
Leni: Hey, guys. Wanna chill with us?
Luan: 'Chill'! Good one, Leni! [laughs]
Leni: Good what?
Lincoln: Thanks, but we don't mind the heat. Right, Anastasia?
Anastasia: Yep.
Lincoln: But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am i talking to much? I feel like I'm talking too much.
Anastasia: [talks quietly] Uncle, shut...up. [to her aunties] Don't worry about him, the heat is making him stupider. Anyway, we are going to outside.
Lincoln: Don't follow us!
Anastasia: Shut..up! [leaves]
Lisa: He's really is clearly suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now, pass the frozen succotash.
[Lynn tosses the succotash]
Lana: Scoot over. You're melting the broccoli.
Lola: Well, stop breathing on the frozen carrots!
Luan: Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? Peas and thank you! [laughs while her sisters groan. Logan enters the house very upset and sees his sisters in the kitchen]
Lynn: Man, do you look heated.
Logan: Yeah, I'm heated in all the wrong ways due to the fact i can't go in any pool within a 60 mile radius, care to explain?
Lori: [got her tongue tied] Well...you see...uh...
Logan: You know what? Never mind, i am going upstairs and use my fan. I can't believe this day man. All i want was to go cool off at a pool after a hard hot day at work. [leaves upset]
Lynn: Wait, he has a fan?
[Minutes later, Logan hears commotion coming from the backyard]
Logan: Now what? Geez Louise, can't a guy relax in peace?! [went to backyard and sees what is going on; he sees Bobby on his left]
Bobby: Hey, bro.
Logan: What? Bobby? What are you...Never mind but i am going to use that whistle. [blows whistle and gets his family attention] What is going on here?! [all his siblings and Anastasia started talking at once which made Logan's face turn red from anger] ENOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!! Everyone inside, NOW! [everyone walk in the house mumbling under their breath on who's fault it is; he stop Bobby from entering] Not you. You stay out of this. [close the door on Bobby's face only to open it a second later] On second thought, go home! And here's your whistle! Now scram! [slams the door on Bobby's face. He went to the living room where the other loud kids are at] Now, one at a time, what is going on here?
Lori: Why not ask your bogus little brother?
Lola: Yeah! This is all his fault for kicking us out of the pool!
Lincoln: I brought that pool frankly for me and Anastasia since all of you got us kick out of every pool here!
Anastasia: Now thanks to you, we can't cool off! And you lost your chance with the fan so don't even ask!
Lynn: Well, we gonna have to think of a way for all of us to cool off.
Logan: [came up with a idea] I think i know how.
[The scene cuts to the the family at a lake swimming which Lincoln, Anastasia, and Lily are chilling in the pool Lincoln brought earlier]
Anastasia: Ahhh, this is better. I can't believe that we haven't thought about this.
Lincoln: Tell me about it. But i was being kinda mean back there wasn't i?
Anastasia: Yes you were. But they'll get use to it. Maybe but at least we got the pool to ourselves and with aunty Lily in it too. Isn't that right?
Lily: Poo poo.
Lincoln: Yeah but still.
Anastasia: Uncle, if you really feel bad about it, then why not apologize to them?
Lincoln: Yeah, I'll do that. Just as soon as i cool down first.
Anastasia: Can't disagree with you there.
[Lincoln and Anastasia are chilling in the pool with Lily. Logan is watching his family nearby]
Logan: [to the viewers] Well, there you have it. We manage to find a way to beat the heat by coming to a lake where the water is free and don't have to worry about someone kicking you out of it. [inhale and exhale] This is what spending time with your family should be like. A nice day at the lake. What could go wrong. [hears his family freaking out about something]
Lola: [from the background] AHHHHH! MOSQUITOES!
Anastasia: [also from the background] FECAL INCIDENT!
Loud kids: LOUD FAMILY, OUT!
[The loud kids are seen running away from the lake in a hurry]
Lily: [giggles from what's going on]
Side note: I'm sorry i made this chapter short but i really want to get this out of the way so i can do the "Changing the Baby" episode. Anyway i hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and i will see you guys soon.