Changing the Baby

[Lucy and Lynn's room; Lincoln comes in his underwear]

Lincoln: Hey, Lynn, do you wanna read the latest Ace Savvy comic with me?

Lynn: [shooting some hoops] A. Comics are boring. B. Put on some pants. And C. Ya later. [bops Lincoln in the head with her basketball]

[Lincoln is gonna watch a movie; he sees Luan walking by with her dummy, Mr. Coconuts]

Lincoln: Hey, Luan, do you wanna watch a science fiction movie with me?

"Mr. Coconuts": Science fiction stinks, and that's a science fact.

Luan: [laughs] I agree with Mr. Coconuts.

[Lana and Lola's room]

Lincoln: [coming in with a coin case] Hey, Lola, do you want to check out my coin collection? I just got this one from Poland. It's called a Zloty.

Lola: Lame! What's the point of money that you can't spend?

[Lucy is writing a new poem and Lincoln comes in with the vacuum cleaner]

Lincoln: Hey, Lucy, do you want to go ghost hunting with me?

Lucy: Why would i want to hunt my friends?

[In the kitchen]

Lincoln: Hey, Lana, you wanna try half of my peaunt butter and sauerkraut sandwich?

Lana: I eat some grody things, but that is disgusting. [sniffs it and retches; runs to the bathroom]

[Anastasia enters the kitchen]

Anastasia: What's up with her?

Lincoln: I don't know. Hey, Anastasia, do you wanna try half of my sandwich?

Anastasia: [look at the sandwich and get disgust by it] No thank you! That's looks nasty and disgusting.

Lincoln: Disgusting?! This is coming from someone who mix Sloppy joe with peanut butter and jelly.

Anastasia: Hey! You leave me and my peanut butter and sloppy joe jelly sandwiches alone! [went in the fridge and grabbed a juice box] Now if you excuse me, I'm going back in the living room to play with aunty Lily. [leaves]

[In the living room, Lincoln is playing his game when he sees Logan]

Lincoln: Hey, Logan, do you wanna play video games with me?

Logan: Sorry, little bro, but I'm got to go to work today. I'll play with you when i get back. [leave out the door]

Lincoln: [sad] Ok... [sees Leni entering] Hey, Leni, you wanna play video games with me?

Leni: Those things will rot your brain. Besides, i have fashion magazines to look at.

Anastasia: Huh, i guess that one game you had her play when you was helping her learn to drive actually got to her.

Lincoln: Yeah. Hey, Anastasia, do you wanna play video games with me?

Anastasia: Uh, no. You made fun of my sandwiches by calling it disgusting, so no. And besides- [jump of the couch] -the last time I played video games with you, you wasn't putting up much of a challenge, so again no. Now if you excuse me again, i am going to the bathroom and decide what I'm going to do next.

Lincoln: Aww man... [as Anastasia walks away to the bathroom, Lincoln is talking to the viewers] You'd think with all my sisters, there'd be just one that like the same things i like. But sadly, that's not the case. I mean i do got my older brother and niece but Logan don't always stick around much and Anastasia well...she's Anastasia. [sighs] Even you, Lily. Sure you're hanging out with me now, but someday you're be into your own things and we'll have nothing in common... [inspired] Unless... [takes Lily's blanket and pacifier and gives her the controller]

Lily: [starts mashing buttons and giggles]

Lincoln: That's it! You don't have your own things yet! You're like an unformed lump of clay! But if i can mold you, then someone in this house (apart from Logan and Anastasia that is) will finally like the things i like!

[Clyde enters the house]

Clyde: Hey, Lincoln! What has two thumbs and totally wants to hang out with his best friend? [points to self] This guy!

Lincoln: [shoves Clyde out the door] Sorry, Clyde, I'm in the middle of something important. I'm changing the baby.

Later, Anastasia came back downstairs to the living room looking for Lily]

Anastasia: Aunty Lily, where are you? [she looked everywhere downstairs. She looked under the table in the dining room, the cabinets, and even in the basement but still no luck finding her] Where could she had gone too? [she went back upstairs to look for her there; she sees Lincoln and Lily and his room] Uh, what are doing?

Lincoln: Oh nothing much. Just going to mold Lily into being like me.

Anastasia: Why?

Lincoln: Because that would mean there's someone in this house who will ffinally like the things i like.

Anastasia: Hmmm, there's already a person like that and that person is your brother.

Lincoln: Yeah but he never be here all the time and beside in the future, he will move out of the house and move somewhere else.

Anastasia: You got a point there.

Lincoln: Yep. By the way, do you want to mold Lily into being like you too?

Anastasia: Yeah no. I like aunty Lily just the way she is. It's already bad enough that i got one rival in this house, i don't want another one left alone another me.

Lincoln: You got a point there. Anyway, I'm going to work my magic on Lily if you don't mind.

Anastasia: Fine, but i want her back by the end of the day, got it?

Lincoln: Yeah yeah, sure. [Anastasia leaves] Ok, Lily, let's get to work.

[Later, Anastasia is still waiting for Lincoln to bring Lily back to her]

Anastasia: [frustrated] Grrrr, where is that boy with my auntie? I swear people in this house really gets on my nerve. [she head upstairs where she sees Lincoln slowly walking out Lisa and Lily's room] Boo.

Lincoln: [startled] Anastasia, where did you come from?

Anastasia: Downstairs waiting on you to bring Lily back to me like you promise.

Lincoln: Oh yeah. [chuckles nervously] Sorry about that. I was so caught up on changing Lily, i forgot to do so. [continue to chuckles nervously as he preparing himself for what gonna happen]

Anastasia: [inhale disappointed] Fine, I'm going to let it slide this time but tomorrow I'm gonna be spending time with her so don't try any funny business. [leaves]

Lincoln: Phew, i thought i was gonna be a goner.

The next morning, Anastasia went to Lisa and Lily's room to go get Lily so she can play with her again.

Anastasia: Rise and shine, aunty Lily. We got a lot of fun things to do. [noticed that Lily isn't in her crib; gasps] Where is she?! Who could've... [realize] That sneaky little... [went to Lincoln's room and barged into Lincoln's room after kicking his door open] WHERE IS SHE, UNCLE?!

Lincoln: [Lincoln screamed and falls out of his bed] Where is who?

Anastasia: Don't play dumb with me, uncle! [grabbed Lincoln by his shirt and got close to his face] I'm not going to ask you again. Where...is...she?!

Lincoln: I really don't know who are talking about.

Anastasia: Lily, you idiot! Where is Lily?!

Lincoln: Isn't she in her room? [Anastasia stook her head no] What?! [ran into Lisa and Lily's room to see that Anastasia is telling the truth] Where is she?!

Anastasia: Why are you asking me for? I want to know where she at too.

[Hears Lynn outside playing baseball with someone and find out it was Lily she is playing with, Lincoln and Anastasia rushed outside and grabbed Lily]

Lincoln: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Lynn: You think you you're the only one in this family who doesn't have anyone to do with. Well, think again. I'm gonna use Lily as my sports buddy.

Anastasia: ARE YOU CRAZY?! SHE'S JUST A BABY! YOU COULD KILL HER WITH YOUR SPORTS!

Lynn: That's why i gave her a helmet.

Anastasia: I don't care what you do, she isn't ready for stuff like that! [glares at Lynn with hate in her eyes] Come on, aunty Lily, let's- [look at her arms to see Lily is gone] What the...

Luan: Introducing Luan Loud and her amazing dummy, Lil Lil! [holding Lily who is dressed like Mr. Coconuts in the same position as him] Say, Lily, who's your favorite singer? Lady...

Lily: Gaga!

Luan: What's your favorite Hawaiian platter?

Lily: Poo-poo!

Lynn: Hey! That's no dummy! That's my cleanup hitter!

Lincoln: No, she's mine!

Anastasia: My aunty fanny, you had you chance yesterday! So back off! [gets into a fight over Lily who flies right out of the fight cloud which caused them to stop]

Lincoln, Lynn, Luan and Anastasia: Lily?

[Lucy dressed Lily up in an goth fashion and showing her photos of the deceased]

Lucy: This is Grandma Harriet. And this is Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln: Uh, Lucy...what are you doing?

Lucy: I'm introducing Lily to my ghost friends.

Lincoln: She already has a friend named Lincoln! [takes Lily back]

Lucy: Sigh...

[Lincoln wipes Lucy's makeup off Lily's face]

Lincoln: Black is not your color. Orange is! [gets out another small orange shirt and turns around to find out that Lily is gone again] Dang it!

[Anastasia and Lily is hiding somewhere in the dark]

Anastasia: Good, now no one can interpret us from our fun time, right, aunty Lily? [no response] Aunty Lily? [turn the lights on to see that Lily is gone again] Dang it!

[Lori is show Lily her favorite reality show]

Lori: Now, Dylan can only pick one girl to spend the rest of his life with. And it'd better be Marisol.

Lily: [blows a raspberry of disagreement]

Lori: Yeah, you're right. Maybe he will be happier with Tiffany.

Anastasia: You blond cow! How dare you take her away from me?! She doesn't wanna watch your stupid shows!

Lori: Nonsense! Besides, I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things i like!

Lincoln: And I've been waiting 11 years for a sister who likes what i like! Now give her to me!

Leni: HELP!

[Lori, Lincoln, and Anastasia rushed to Leni's rescue and found out that she got herself trapped in Lily's crib]

Leni: Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now i can't get out of this baby prison! [starts crying]

[Lincoln and Lori help out]

Lincoln: Upsy-daizy.

Lori: There you go, Leni.

Leni: [grateful] Agoo.

[Lisa suddenly starts laughing evilly and has Lily strapped to one of her machines to use her as a test subject]

Lily: Poo-poo?

[Lisa was about to throw the switch but Anastasia stopped her]

Anastasia: Aunty Lisa, What...is...your...freaking...problem?! Have you lost your mind too?!

Lisa: Come on, guys! No one in this family ever willingly lets me do experiments on them!

Lincoln: Lisa, she's a baby!

Lisa: I was going to give her a sucker afterward. [holds out a lollipop to which Lincoln facepalms]

Lincoln: Look, everyone just stay away from Lily! She's my little Lincoln!

Anastasia: Your little Lincoln? Ha! Not on my watch when i take aunty Lily- [noticed Lily is gone again]

Lincoln and Anastasia: DANG IT!

[Luna is jamming with Lily on drums and gets up on her bunk bed]

Luna: STAGE DIVE! WOO! [dives off her bed right towards Lily who has a bad feeling about this but got save by Lincoln and the others by pushing Luna out of Lily's way] WOO!

Lincoln and the others: [see Lily is gone again] Where's Lily?

[Lily is having a tea party with Lola]

Lola: More tea, Lady Lilington?

Lana: She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [puts Izzy on Lily's head]

Lola: No she doesn't!

Lana: Yes she does!

Lola: No she doesn't!

Lana: Yes she does!

Luna: Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!

Lisa: She was my specimen!

Anastasia: We were about to spend time with each other!

Lucy: We were talking to Great Grandma Harriet.

Lynn: We were playing ball!

Luan: We were getting ready to take our show on the road!

Leni: We were gonna look at my magazines!

Lori: We were watching Dylan's date!

Lucy: BT-dubs, Lori, Great Grandma Harriet knows you regifted her brooch and she's not happy about it.

[Lori instantly looks regretful]

Lana and Lola: GIVE US BACK LILY!

[The girls are all fighting each other for Lily until Lincoln came in and grabs her]

Girls: [they stop fighting and notice Lincoln is about to sneak away] WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!

Lincoln: Uhhhh...see ya!

[Lincoln ran from the girls only to be stopped by Lori who held her fist out and had Lincoln hit it]

Lori: I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]

Anastasia: No, I'll take that. [grabbed Lily and ran with her]

Lincoln: Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Anastasia but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]

Luan: Whoops. Sorry, Linc! [runs off] Sorry, dummy! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]

Leni: Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she was gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!

Lucy: Boo.

[Lisa screams and Lucy takes Lily from her]

Lucy: Boo. [Leni runs off screaming]

[Everyone is really determining to keep Lily for themselves. During the chaos, someone grabbed Lily and everyone stop]

Lola: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where's Lily?!

[Everyone looks around until they see where Lily is and also see the person who is holding her]

Everyone except Anastasia: Lo...Logan?...

Anastasia: Daddy, when did you get here?

Logan: Just now. Can someone explain what is going on here?

Lincoln: Well, long story short, i was trying to mold Lily into being like me and everyone except for Anastasia wanted the same thing.

Anastasia: All i wanted to do is play with her again since uncle hogged Aunty Lily from me yesterday.

Lincoln: I told you i forgot!

Anastasia: Don't care.

Logan: So, you all except Anastasia wanted to change Lily to like the things you guys like, right? [they nods] You know what, I'm not going to yell or snap. Instead, I'm going to have Lily choose for herself.

Lincoln: Logan's right. Everyone to the living room!

[The loud kids went to the living room so Lily can pick who she want to be with]

Logan: Now, whoever Lily crawls to is the one she wants to be with. Agreed?

[Everyone except Anastasia (who didn't want to change Lily) nods and take out their items related to what they wanted Lily to like what they earilar.

Lincoln: Come on! It's Ace Savvy!

Luan: Wooden you like to be my friend?

Lynn: Low and inside!

Lana: Izzy!

Leni: Look at the magazine!

Lori: Marisol?

Lola: Extra sugar!

Luna: Walk this way.

Lucy: Abe Lincoln.

Lisa: I have more suckers!

Anastasia: [in her thought] Man, this is nuts. This couldn't get any worse.

[While Lily is getting a little stressed by what her decision is, Clyde comes in]

Clyde: LINCOLN! You wanna hang out with babies? [tears off his clothes revealing to be wearing a diaper and puts on a bonnet and busts out Lily's blanket] Then let's hang. [puts his thumb in his mouth]

[The Loud kids all gasp at the sight of Clyde]

Anastasia: Okay, it went from worse to disturbing in one day...

Logan: Tell me about it.

While everyone is either speechless or disturbed by Clyde's baby get up, Lily started crawling towards someone...or better yet, something.

Lincoln: Hey, look! Lily's coming to me!

Lynn: Nuh-uh! To me!

Lincoln: To me!

Lynn: To me!

[Lily crawls all the way to Clyde because he has her blanket]

Loud kids: SHE CHOSE CLYDE?!

Clyde: I have something to say to you, Little Miss Friend Stealer! [Lily takes her blanket back and makes a cute face to Clyde] You are... [Unable to resist her cuteness] ...absolutely adorable! No wonder Lincoln wants to hang with you! [hugs her]

Lincoln: [disturbed at his best friend's ensemble] Clyde, why are you wearing a diaper?

Clyde: You replaced me with Lily, so i thought this was the only way to win you back.

Lincoln: I'd never replace you. You're my best friend.

Lily: [cuddling her blanket] Blankie!

Lincoln: Her blankie...of course! Now i get it, you guys. We can't mold Lily. No matter what we do, she's always gonna want the things she wants.

Anastasia: Thank you for finally understanding, slowpoke. Also, thank you all for wasting my time for not letting me spend time with her.

Lincoln: Yeah. Besides, i forgot i already have someone who likes everything i like. What do you say, Clyde? Wanna hang?

Clyde: Sorry, Lincoln. Lily and i have plans. Hey, Lily! What has four thumbs and loves milk?

Clyde and Lily: [point to themselves] These guys! [they left]

Anastasia: Oh no you don't! Come back here with my aunty, you creep! [chased after Clyde to get Lily back]

Logan: Don't worry, Lincoln. You still got me.

Lincoln: Thanks, Logan. [both brothers hug each other]

Logan: Wanna eat peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwiches?

Lincoln: You read my mild, bro.

[Logan and Lincoln head to the kitchen]

Lori: [on her phone] Bobby, does your mom still have that brooch I gave her?

[Lucy raises her head up and smiles, knowing she successfully got Great Grandma Harriet's message to Lori]